


Strike a Pose

by CuckooTrooke



Series: Strike a Pose [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Body Worship, Boys Kissing, Bullying, Eating Disorders, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Kink Exploration, M/M, Modeling, Modeling industry, Non-Graphic Violence, Nude Modeling, Oral Sex, Past Violence, Photo Shoots, Photography, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, body art, mentions of eating disorders, sexual photoshoot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-06 15:00:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 154,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuckooTrooke/pseuds/CuckooTrooke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam Lambert is 18-year-old boy with big dreams in music. He has dark secrets he hasn't told anyone in his life but they are starting to burn him down. </p><p>Sauli Koskinen is 20-year-old guy and the manager of the famous modeling agency called Sunny Stars. He hasn't hired a new model in ages but when he meets Adam, the fire is set. </p><p>What happens when these two souls meet? Is it too late for Sauli to help Adam back on his feet? What about when he finds out his painful wounds and agonizing past? Or maybe they are not so different at all...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Amateurs

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm coming to you again with a new fic, I hope you like it!  
> This is a mix of darkness such as violence and depression but also very fluffy and humorous on some parts.  
> And of course;  
> Teasing sex scenes when Sauli photographs Adam and when they do photo shoot together. And above that, passionate lovemaking.

**A few days before...**

 

"Adam, you know you don't need to rush. You can live at home as long as you need to" Leila talked loudly while walking after her son who was pacing around his room, packing his stuff in suitcases, "You have school and everything"

"I know, mom. But I really need some experience on my own and _live_ on my own. And I'm not living with father anymore" Adam said and zipped his second suitcase, then turned to his mother and gently placed his hands on her shoulders, "I'll be fine" He convinced.

Leila sighed and gave him a smile. It was her moment to tell him she's proud of him and she will support him in this, but she felt too sad right now. 

Adam noticed it and he didn't really expect genuine happiness from her. 

"I know you will, honey. Just give him some time... He will..."

"He will never accept me as me" Adam said rather loudly, tears forming in the corners of his eyes, and he turned away from his mother, refusing to let her see him cry over it, "He hit me, mom" he added, his voice cracking.

Leila watched his slumped shoulders, her motherly heart breaking the very second. Still she just couldn't believe it happening. 

"I didn't see that scene but I..."

"You think I'm lying?" Adam asked, turning back around to face Leila. She immediately shook her head as no.

"Never. I just don't wanna lose you..." She whispered, sobbing now, "You're so dear to me"

Adam pulled her into a hug right away,

"Don't cry, mom. You're not losing me. You can come and see me as soon as I settle down with Drake. But without dad"

They shared a long comforting hug before Adam pulled away. He knows he can always count on his mother in everything he can think of. 

"Now can you leave me alone packing the rest of my stuff?" He asked sheepishly and turned towards his drawers.

"Of course" Leila smiled, drying her eyes and left Adam to pack in peace. She knows he doesn't want to pack his private things under her gaze.

Leila closed the door when she left and made her way to the kitchen. Maybe Adam will at least eat at home before he leaves.

Adam staid in his room and opened the top drawer of his nightstand.

He grabbed all his precious notebooks which were filled with his own lyrics and compositions he has done in the past few years.

Maybe he will never be a great, internationally known singer, but it's his beloved thing to do. It comforts him when he's upset or when he feels lost.

Somewhere under the pile of letters, other papers and such, he found two sex toys a 'friend' of his had given him for his birthday, saying 'explore yourself'. This happened years ago when he first moved around the so called gay venues in LA. 

Someone told him he looks too lost to be searching for company and gave him a task to get to know his own body first. Adam hasn't touched them. 

A small vibrating prostate massager and a vibrating cock ring. Just the thought feels too weird for him. Maybe he tries them now when he moves in with Drake. 

So he packed them with him anyway.

"Okay" He exhaled and zipped up the smaller bag. He got up from the floor and looked at his suitcases.

All his clothes, checked.

Boots, checked.

Notebooks, checked.

Hair...

Adam walked in front of the mirror and made a final check on his looks. Light bruise on the corner of his eye was covered with make-up.

Checked.

When he got out of his room, Leila asked him to stay just long enough to have dinner so he did.

His father was at work so it was fine.

After the dinner he called a cab to take him downtown.

"You can come back anytime" Leila said while hugging Adam on the porch, "If you feel homesick or-"

"Thanks, mom. But I'll be fine with Drake" Adam smiled and pulled away, gazing into his mother's eyes, "Bye mom”

 

**Present...**

 

Adam watched the scene before him in shock, his heart slowly breaking.

After he left home, life wasn't suddenly easy anymore. Not that it was easy at home either since his father had been abusive, but all of this 'adult' life is tiring as fuck.

No mother's home made food which was out of charge to him. No more spare time shopping, at least not as much as he was used to doing.

And now,,, no more love. No longer a place to stay in.

His boyfriend Drake was kissing another man right in front of him. Actually not just kissing but actually kissing _naked_.

With a cute guy, maybe an inch shorter than Adam. He was all sorts of gorgeous; Fit, muscly body, gorgeous hair, perfect skin, sexy ass...

"No...." Adam gasped out quietly, still not progressing what was happening. His love had betrayed him. He felt no longer grounded. He has never been comfortable in his own skin and that's the reason why he hasn't really gotten into it with Drake.

_Intimately_. Emotionally nor physically. It seems that he pays the price of it now.

Drake finally noticed him, after what seemed like eternity.

"Adam...! You're back early" He stuttered out after pulling away from the guy he was kissing. 

"Don't let me bother I just... I'll grab my stuff and I'm out" Adam tried to say steadily, to show he didn't care even though he most certainly did. His voice was shaking noticeably like always when he's nervous or over-whelmed.

He stormed into their bedroom and to his closet, grabbing all of his clothes and boots, notebooks and other stuff, fumbling them to his suitcases.

"Adam boo, let me explain" He heard Drake say behind him. Adam tried to contain his anger because he's the one who was foolish enough to think things could work out.

"No! I don't want your fucking bullshit!" He cried, nudging Drake out of his way as he passed him at the threshold of their bedroom. He could have at least put on a pair of boxers and not just casually stand there all naked like it was no big deal.

Drake is shorter than him but strong built, he didn't want to make him mad but he's not going to stay in a relationship where he's not respected or genuinely loved.

"Adam, listen to me!" Drake said firmly and grabbed Adam by his wrist.

"No!" Adam shouted, jerking his wrist out of his strong grip.

"Doll, you have no other place to stay in" Drake pointed out. It's not like Adam didn't know that already.

"Well, anywhere is better than here" He snapped, grabbed his bags and banged the door closed after he left the apartment.

He called Danielle right away. She knows him well enough to know when he's upset even if he doesn't really say it out loud. 

 

They agreed to meet up in a cafe nearby after Adam had checked in to a cheap motel.

"You're always welcomed in my place" Danielle smiled and took a sip of his latte.

Adam shrugged, twirling the spoon in his coffee with a blank expression on his face.

"Yea but... You have a boyfriend who's there all the time and I just- I don't wanna be a third wheel or anything like that" 

Danielle sighed.

She has known Adam for years, and he has always been like this. Stubborn. Always thinking he’s some kind of burden to others when he's feeling weaker for one reason or another.

"Then go back to Drake. You can't stay in a hotel, that costs like,,, A lot"

Adam huffed and pushed his coffee aside. The cream and the sugar felt like the worst possible thing ever right now.

"Aren't you a sweetheart with your advice? Basically saying I should solve it with someone who screwed another man behind my back"

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"No. I don't want to. And I'm not going to cry for my mom for help, I'm not a baby" Adam groaned and let his head hit the table.

A little too hard.

"Ow"

Danielle giggled and gently pulled on his hair so he'd lift his head back up.

"Then start looking for an apartment. And a job. And don't hang around in those shady, cheap hotels while doing so. That bruise doesn't fit on your style"

"I didn't get it in the hotel" Adam admitted.

Danielle gave him confused eyes, trying to figure out what exactly what he was saying.

"What?"

Adam sighed.

"It was an accident. I don't even.... Live in a hotel, I can't afford"

Danielle got shocked and gasped out loud. She put her latte down immediately and pulled out her phone from her hand bag.

She didn't say anything, just watched the screen intensively and scrolled through something.

Adam felt uneasy. What was she up to?

Was she texting his mother that her son is jobless, homeless, bruised, heartbroken and pathetic kid who doesn't go to school anymore?

"Dani, I...."

"There! A modeling agency in Los Angeles is looking for an experienced assistant" She informed and showed the phone screen to Adam.

Adam read it through and made a face once he got to the end of the page.

"It says experienced and may contain work in front of the camera. I'm not experienced neither photogenic" Adam explained, and slumped back on his seat, "Just no"

Danielle rolled her eyes.

"The job is not going to just wander to you if you won't do anything for it" She said, pulling out some money from her wallet, "This is my treat"

"No I ca..."

"I'll pay!" She insisted firmly and hit the dollars on the table. She picked up her bag and got up, pulling Adam up as well.

"Come on"

“Ow! You rip my arm off!” Adam whined and followed her out of the café. 

One does not simply say no to a woman.

 

~*~

 

"No, no, no,... You have to feel. Imagine she's your lover" Sauli guided behind his camera, a little frustrated by now. He's usually sunny and kind, but his job gets him stressed out occasionally.

Where do these people get these models anyway?

His modeling agency has always produced best shows and pictures, this won't be good for his corporation if the guy can't message a simple thing like desire in one damn photo ! Sunny Stars has never let his clients down.

Maybe he feels cranky because there is no daylight in the studio. Sun puts him in to a positive mood every time.

"No no no,, NO!" Sauli growled, walking closer to the two models and stood short before them.

Even the female model was noticably taller than him. She's his favorite of all. She can pose and walk on a runaway like a pro.

"Okay. I'll be patient with you, because the newbies always have some difficulties. Now Suvi, get in front of him. I'll take a pic from another angle" Sauli said and grabbed his camera, moving on the nearest couch.

"Arch your back and reach behind his neck. Now Michael... If she was your girlfriend. Think about it that way" Sauli whispered and took a good position to photograph them, "Actually, think of her as someone you love but can't have"

Sauli can snap pictures upside down, back bent, feet on the wall, whatever makes good photos. And yes, he's very flexible…

"Yes! I like that! Show me the desire! She’s your one and only Michael, someone you can never have but can hold this once”

"Excuse me, sir?" He heard his right hand, Ashley Dzerigian say.

"Wait, wait, wait! Just a second" Sauli informed loudly and dropped his upper body down from the couch, his feet on the backrest.

"Oh yes, yes! Now we're talking!" He squeaked excitedly and snapped one last picture, "Thank you! That's a wrap!"

Suvi and Michael got their bathrobes on and left the studio quietly.

Sauli dropped himself down from the couch, experienced enough not to hurt himself. He turned his attention to Ashley.

"You were saying?"

"We got a few CVs today, applying for the assistant job" Ashley informed, handing Sauli the papers.

"Oh. That's great, I'll check them later" He said as he eyed the CVs and gave them back to Ashley.

He was more interested on the new pictures he got. This new passionate art will be great for the gallery.

"Sauli! They're here already for the job interview!" Ashley declared and followed his boss around.

"Really? Guide them at my office then. I'll be there in a minute" Sauli said while pluging his camera on the computer.

About 150 pictures popped visible on thumbnail view.

Ashley gave him the CVs and ran out from the studio to guide those three candidates at the office before Sauli arrives there.

"Show Suvi and Michael the pictures when they arrive, Brian. I'll go to interview a few candidates. I count on you” Sauli said, once again smiling and strutted out of the studio.

"Yes, sir" Brian obeyed and moved his chair behind the computers to browse the photos.

Sauli walked the long hallway to the staircase.

The hallway walls and stairwell walls were decorated with the greatest shoots from their company.

Sauli himself was also in some of them. He's a model too.

Well he was. Recently he's been more into photographing. He can see himself getting in front of the camera again, but he doesn’t feel like that right now.

His office was on the highest floor with the best possible view of the city.

It's a good reminder that he has reached his dreams and he does no longer live in Hyvinkää. LA is something so much bigger. Of course he misses Finland at the times, but LA is his home now.

The three candidates were sitting in front of his office doors.

"Good day all. I'm Sauli Koskinen, the manager, leader, boss whatever of this place" He introduced himself and shook their hands.

One girl and two boys. Other one of the boys didn’t even properly look at him when he shook his hand.

"I'm gonna be very honest with you. I can't promise a job to any of you but I'll interview you all anyway and see if some of you is suitable to work in here" Sauli said in honesty and glanced all three of them, checking the CV's Ashley gave him, "Now let's see,, Bell, Brad. You first"

The guy was short-ish, his face was suitable for photographs and his CV looked good.

The girl, Scarlett, was Lee's girlfriend. Lee works for the Sunny stars as freelancer and in Sauli's opinion he's a really awesome photographer.

Scarlett is Sauli's friend but Sauli wants to play fair.

The two interviews have been good and last one is remaining.

Sauli is going to face a difficult decision. While he needs assistant, he can't afford to hire someone who will _only_ make coffee. The person needs to be able to do other stuff as well such as model if needed, handle papers and emails, think of which offer and deal is the best one etc.

"Okay. Lambert, Adam" Sauli called out the last candidate, "Please have a sit"

The guy had a pair of platform boots on, tight jeans and since this was a job interview, a suit jacket.

Brad could easily work as a model, so does Scarlett, but Sauli wasn't too convinced on this guy. He didn’t look confident enough to step in front of the camera. He did have perfect height and gorgeous legs, though.

"Well Adam, your CV is empty" Sauli observed with an amused chuckle.

Adam nodded, more than a little embarrassed and humiliated. This Sauli guy seemed kind though. He also looked nice and cute.

Adam controlled his thoughts. Things that should not be thought of in a job interview was how cute the possible future boss was.

"I was hoping just to talk myself into this job but they say that the paper is necessary" Adam said quietly, and Sauli barely heard him.

Sauli nodded, keeping his hands folded under his chin.

"Look around yourself" Sauli said, glancing around the office.

Adam did exactly that, a little carefully.

"What do you see?" Sauli asked.

"Uhm..." Adam stuttered out, thinking of what to say. He doesn't appreciate modeling art enough to even call it art. But this was the only job opportunity he found.

"Don't answer. Too slow" Sauli sighed, getting up from his chair. He walked in front of the huge window that was behind his desk.

"You have no experience in any kind of job, you're just a high school senior. I'm not looking for a worker who's going to make only coffee" Sauli informed, turning back to Adam, "This" He started, opening his arms and looked around himself, "Is a very fine modeling agency. I can not afford to work with amateurs who won't be able to model"

Adam nodded, looking at the floor.

"So that's a no?"

"I'm sorry. I really am" Sauli calmly said and he sounded like he really meant it. Considering he's a manager, he's not an asshole.

Sauli walked at the door and opened it;

"Wish you the best of luck"

But Adam didn't get up from the chair he was sitting on.  
He was clutching his thighs nervously, and it was hurting Sauli's heart to see.

"I beg you" he said.

"Pardon me?" Sauli frowned.

"Please. I... I can't live without an apartment. I can't..."

Sauli's face softened though he only saw Adam's back. Thank god because he wouldn't be able to take the look on his face.

Sauli has a weakness for sensitive men. They are usually the best kind of men. Not hyper sensitive but sensitive enough to show what they really feel.

And this guy is homeless...

Sauli’s heart really ached for him. He partly knows what he’s going through.

"If it was up to me... I'd hire every unemployed person in this city. But it's not up to me. I don't mean to sound rude but you don't really fit into modeling and I can't let you handle the papers without experience"

Adam got up from his chair and walked to Sauli.

As he walked past him, Sauli got a glimpse of his eyes for the first time.

Those eyes would be worth millions if he was a model. They are so beautiful, so deep and mesmerizing. Intense and so... Sauli didn't even know what.

"I'm… really sorry" Sauli repeated once more, this time looking into his eyes and found himself being almost hypnotized because of them.

He had to mentally slap himself on the face.

"I know" Adam said, giving him a shy smile and left, almost tripping on the doorstep.

Sauli startled, but was relieved when Adam didn’t fall, just fumbled unsteadily on his feet a bit. He dared to giggle. Quiet enough not to let Adam hear him.

Adam glanced behind him, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. He almost tripped again when he saw Sauli just smiled at him, leaning on the doorframe.

He’s not completely good at walking in high heels yet. He needs to practice a little.

Sauli closed the door of his office, walked behind his desk and sat down.

He had three candidates, two of them are very good but one is in a serious need for job.

And he’s probably the cutest guy he has met in five years. He could easily watch him work at the agency daily. But it was too late. He let him go already.

These are the times when he asks himself why he wanted to be a manager in the first place.

~*~

"I didn't get that job" Adam said to Danielle when he went to see her to her apartment later, "Can I stay here? Just a few nights?"

"Of course" Danielle smiled and pulled her friend inside.

Her apartment was a little messy, smelled just like Danielle and it was small, but in a comfy way.

"You can sleep on the couch. I'll get you some covers" Danielle said and went into the closet to look for sheets and pillows.

"Thanks" Adam said as he sat on the couch and let his luggage down next to it.

Danielle's apartment takes a good place. You can see the Hollywood sign from her living room window.

And her big windowsill makes it perfect.

"You need anything else? Something to eat, drink?" Danielle asked as she dropped the covers on the couch.

"I'm fine. Thank you" Adam smiled and got up, walking to the window and hopped to sit on the windowsill.

"Anytime" Danielle smiled and let her friend alone since he obviously wanted to be alone.

She has two rooms, kitchen and bathroom in her apartment but the bedroom and living room is not separated with a door.

Just with a curtain made of pearls.

"Hey Dani" Adam called out.

"Hm?"

"Please don't do it loud" Adam said.

Danielle chuckled and shook her head.

"We won't" she smiled and got into the bedroom where her boyfriend waited for her.

Adam kept smiling when he turned his attention out of the window.

But it soon turned to sigh.

If he doesn't find a job he must return to school and even worse, back to his father.

He carefully raised the hem of his shirt and glanced down at his abdomen. Broken skin caused by different forms of abuse.

He just can't understand why his father didn’t accept him. Everything would have been easier that way.

He knows bullying is a part of high school, but he never thought he'd face violence at home.

Adam let the hem of his shirt down and hugged his knees to his chest. He can at least dream of a better life.


	2. One chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam has nice legs.  
> Sauli has sexy body.

Sauli lay on his bed and browsed through the newest Fault magazine.

It's been long since he got his article on it. It was the biggest thing on his career and it gave his fame a big boost. His name was soon on everyone's lips.

How freaking awesome would it be to get some of his models in it. Suvi has a lot of success in the States and he'd want to bring up a good male model too.

His agency has a lot of talented male models, but none of them has _it_.

Sauli put the magazine away and rolled over to lay on his back, hands under his head and sighed. He can’t think about it now.

He loves his work but at times he feels lonely. He has a big house and a king-sized bed in a master bedroom but he lives alone.

He'd like to have a partner to share his life with.

But he hasn't felt physical attraction towards anyone lately. He's too busy to even date someone so let alone have an actual relationship.

He believes in love for the first sight though. He'd bring the person home after a wonderful date in a fancy restaurant and let him have his way with him.

It wouldn't be about sex, but about the connection and chemistry between two persons.

A big plus would be if the person was like him. They'd like same things and could share everything together.

Secrets and fears without having to be afraid that you’ll be abandoned or dispised of.

Sauli shook his head at himself. Sounds almost too good to be true.

 

~*~

 

"This is giving me headache" Adam mumbled to himself when he was browsing websites at NetCafé.  
Not a single suitable job offer is available for him.

Maybe he needs to call his mother after all.

No. Just no. He won't live in a same house with his father. Not anymore.

He can bear the school if he needs to return there but he won't be bossed around at home.

He doesn't need more permanent scars on his skin. The wounds on his stomach are still sore. Well, he can't really blame his father about it since he did them himself but. 

"Find anything?" Danielle asked when she came back with her coffee.

Adam shook his head and ran his palms over his face.

Then his phone rang.

Adam pulled it out from his pocket and rolled his eyes when he saw it was Drake.

"Fuck you" He mumbled and pressed the red button.

He has nothing to say to him. He doesn't want to hear anything from him. They're over.

Danielle wanted to say something to him but if Adam has decided not to talk with Drake, there is no way to turn his head.

In the corner of his eye, Adam saw someone sit across him at the other computer.

Danielle noticed he blushed and she started grinning no matter how hard she tried to stop herself from doing so.

Adam is hiding something from him ! Which is not really new but…

"I didn't find anything. Let's go get our stuff" Adam said, logging out and sounded suddenly nervous and more quiet than before.

He just got up and pulled Danielle with him.

She still grinned when walking after Adam to their table where their jackets were.

"What was that?" She asked when they were far enough from the computers.

"What?" Adam asked like he didn't know what the heck she was talking about.

Danielle glanced at the guy who made Adam leave the computer and shrugged, lips pursed.

"He's cute. Who is he?"

"Dani! I don't have a crush on him!" Adam declared automatically, his face heating up even more.

"I didn't say you were. I just asked who is he?" She smirked and put her sunglasses on top of her head.

"He's Sauli and he's no one. Now can we go?" Adam impatiently asked and picked up his jacket from the backrest.

"But you do know his name. You met him there at the agency right?" She beamed and grabbed her bag from the table, following Adam's long steps.

"Maybe" He responded quietly and tried to ignore everything around him.

Danielle sighed and followed him. When Adam was passing the mysterious guy, he was just about to get up from the chair.

"Adam, watch out!"

Danille flinched as the guy spilled his coffee on his expensive looking shirt when he bumped to Adam. 

"Oh no. This was my best shirt" The guy said and put his cup down on the table.

"I'm really sorry!" Adam panicked and tried to look for a napkin. Now Sauli is even more glad he didn't hire him.

"No, no. This was completely my own...." Sauli started and looked up at Adam, seeing those mesmerizing blue eyes he early felt so fond of, "Fault" he finished.

The day he turned Adam down still lingers in his mind. He started to regret he let Adam go. Adam could have what he needs after all.

Adam felt his stomach jump when he looked at him. It slowly filled with butterflies when Sauli smiled. 

"I-I can buy you a n-new shirt"

"No, you definitely can't" Danielle suddenly said and appeared closer to them, "That shirt costs like $500, I saw it online"

Adam glanced at her wide-eyed.

"That made me feel worse" he groaned and hid his face behind his palms.

Danielle hoped that this Sauli guy really is from the agency and decided to try a trick for Adam.

Adam will probably kill her later but what needs to be done, needs to be done.

"Oh please, you barely can afford to coffee"

Adam glared at her.

"Dani" He said in a warning tone.

"Oh" Sauli quietly said, not so worried about his shirt anymore. This Adam guy seems to be in worse position than he first thought.

"I'm... really sorry for not being able to help you" He apologized, "The shirt is not a big deal. I can get a new one"

"You're the manager of Sunny Stars?" Danielle asked, smiling wide. She has always admired the beauty of their models. They're healthy and the photo shoots they do are simply artistic and beautiful, “You’re Sauli koskinen, right?”

Sauli smiled and nodded at her.

"But you’re so young"

"Yes. I've been a model since I was 15. At the age of 18 I started photographing and now here I am" He proudly told them and stopped wiping the stain on his shirt.

"Then you probably know how hard it is to reach for your dreams. And even harder when you got no money, home, friends.... " Danielle divulged, noticing Sauli's face. He looked honestly sorry for Adam.

"Danielle!" Adam snapped before she could continue any further and humiliate him even more.

Sauli glanced at Adam and felt even worse for not being able to hire him. 

Sauli has never used too skinny models in his photos or shows but he isn't sure if Adam would be suitable for them anyway. Sauli wants to promote a healthy body image to people. Especially to teenagers who are easilly influenced by society.

"You're attractive looking couple. And I really wish I could help you" Sauli sadly said.

Danielle and Adam exchanged an amused look.

"We're not a couple. I have a boyfriend, but it's not Adam" Danielle chuckled.

She thought it was kinda obvious Adam was gay. Platform boots, make-up, fashionable clothing.

But Danielle never reveals his sexuality to anyone. Adam is not fully comfortable with it yet. Thanks to his father and those idiots at school.

And now he must be even more unsure since Drake cheated on him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You just looked like..."

"It's okay. You're not the first one who thought so since we... " Danielle started explaining, but then noticed Sauli paid all of his attention to Adam and not on her.

She'd feel slightly offended if it wasn't Sauli and Adam. The way Sauli looked at Adam made her want to smirk at them.

Though Adam is awfully quiet and not making eye contact with Sauli.

Maybe it was because Sauli bit his lip and eyed Adam from head to toe. Anyone would feel a little uncomfortable under that gaze.

"You have really nice legs" Sauli wondered out loud, chin between his thumb and forefinger, “Really gorgeous, actually”

Danielle bit her lip, trying not to grin like fool once again.

Adam blushed at Sauli's compliment and he automatically looked around if he meant to say it to someone else.

He's not used to hearing any.

"Can you turn around?" Sauli asked and before Adam could say no, Danielle nudged him on the side.

"Ow" He hissed and frowned at his friend, rubbing his side.

"Turn" She said and nudged him again.

Adam fought against the urge to flinch. He sighed as he turned his back to Sauli. Every single person in the café is looking at them.

Whispering. 

He doesn't feel good. Not at all. Reminds him of the times at school when everybody looked at him and whispered to each other like he was some kind of freak.

"Nice bottom too"

Did Sauli just compliment his ass? The hottest name in the modeling industry just said his ass was nice.

In front of a big group of people.

"Sorry I gotta go" He said, feeling over-whelmed and all too uncomfortable, and grabbed his jacket from the floor where he had dropped it earlier when he bumped onto Sauli.

Danielle gave Sauli a look, like she was just as lost as he was right now, and went after Adam immediately.

"Adam, wait up!"

Before Sauli could say a thing after them, the door already closed

Sauli paid his coffee and grabbed his stuff, storming after Adam and Danielle.

He looked around himself at the parking lot but he didn't see them anymore.

Fuck, this cannot be happening. He was so sure Adam would actually be perfect for the new photo shoot.

~*~

It was 9 p.m. when Sauli went to the studio. He needs to find the copy of Adam's CV and take his phone number from it.

He rushed to his office and opened the top drawer of his desk. He browsed them until he found Adam's CV.

"Gotcha, baby" He smiled and pulled the paper out of the drawer.

He dialed Adam's number on his phone and called him. He needs to have Adam on the next commercial shoot. His legs are like porn and therefore perfect for promoting the new pants.

He just hopes he will take the call from an unknown ID caller.

_"Hello?"_

Sauli smiled when he heard Adam's voice.

"Hello, Adam. It's Sauli from the Sunny Stars"

_"Oh? Are you going to send me a bill?"_

Sauli laughed though he shouldn't. Adam sounded serious about it.

"No, of course not. Forget about the shirt. I know your situation is really bad and I'm not going to ask how it happened, but I have one suggestion to you" Sauli explained and lift his legs on his desk.

_"Y-you don't have to feel pity for me. And besides I-I can't be in front of camera I just...."_

Sauli found himself smiling again. Adam's stuttering is so damn adorable.

"Relax, Adam! Can you listen to me?"

_"Okay..."_

"Good. First of all, sorry for whatever what happened in the café. Second of all, I have one photoshoot where I need to advertise new pants. I think your legs would fit. And another thing… I need more pictures to my files. They’re only for me. No one else except me will see them without your permission. I need to grow my abilities and range behind the camera. I’d like to try something new. You'd get proper payment for them both of course. And no,,, you’re not going nude” Sauli told him and got up from his chair, looking out of the window towards the breathtaking sunset.

He heard Adam exhale.

_”I'd have to pose in front of more than ten people? I... I can't"_

"No, you don't have to. I can take photos for photoshoots myself and there would be no one else in the studio. If that makes you feel more ease"

_"Do I have to decide now?"_

"No. You can text me. But please do it before 9 a.m. Okay? And I beg you to do the pants thing at least. The other one… I ask a lot. But I will tell you more about it when we meet face to face"

_"Okay… So when do you wanna see me?"_

Sauli bit his lip.

“If you decide to say yes to the advertisement, come to see me at my office at 11. a.m tomorrow. ‘kay?”

_“Okay. That’s fine”_

“Good” Sauli said and smiled slightly. He didn't want to stop talking with him yet but Adam seems to be not so talkative person in general, "Okay. Bye then, Adam"

_"Bye"_

~*~

Adam put his phone away and got up from the bathroom floor.

Adam glanced at the full body mirror and turned his back to it.

Sauli said his ass was nice and his legs would fit into that photoshoot.

Adam looked at his ass through the mirror and ran his hand over it.

He has never really believed there was anything on his body that would receive compliments. He just can't see himself with that physical attraction. And his booty he has never really thought of.

And to think that a picture of him in some expensive brand new pants would spread across the globe if he said yes to Sauli just made him feel queasy.

It would be so easy to hurt him. He’s sensitive to that stuff and he knows it himself too.

And what other photo shoot? No nude, Sauli said. He'd never do that but even some underwear photos would be too much for him to do.

He heard Danielle come back so he stepped out of the bathroom before she could give him those weird looks and shoot questions like how and why is he in the bathroom so often and so long?

He followed her to the kitchen.

"Sauli wants me in his photoshoot" He said and sat on top of the counter top.

"Really?" Danielle asked, mouth gaping open, "Well what did you say?!"

Adam gave her a face.

"Nothing yet. He gave me some time to think" He said and picked up an apple Danielle pulled out from the shopping bag.

He didn't eat it, just touched it and plaid with it.

"Well you say yes! Do you even know who he is?" Danielle asked and gently slapped Adam on his stomach.

Adam flinched which made Danielle frown.

“Uhm, sorry?" She said slowly, eyeing Adam curiously, "I didn’t know I hit that hard” She chuckled even though she didn’t find it funny at all. It was just so weird.

Adam didn’t say anything, just shook his head as if to shrug it off.

“No, I don’t know who he really is” He said.

Danielle rolled her eyes and grabbed the laptop from the kitchen table and switched it on.

“I'll show you then” She said and continued emptying the shopping bags while the laptop was starting up.

Adam became more curious about Sauli now.

He knows more about people in music industry, not so much about models or photographers.

“Go to google” Danielle said because she still emptied the bags.

Adam obeyed and hopped down from the counter, logged on to google and wrote Sauli’s name on it. Thousands of articles came up.

“Search for the pics”

Adam put it on the image search and saw thumbnails of Sauli’s picture popping up. So he’s a model himself too.

“That’s Sauli freaking Koskinen ” Danielle chuckled and came behind Adam, watching the images over his shoulder.

Adam felt tingling in his boy parts as he looked at some of the images. Sauli is… Sexy. He’s hot. Really hot, to be exact. He has a very nice body. Tight pecs, strong abs, those damn biceps... 

Those sharp hip phones.

Danielle noticed Adam was slightly squeezing his thighs together, and he looked flustered.

“Okaaay, you want me to leave you alone with Mr. Koskinen?” She teased and hugged her beloved friend.

Adam smiled and gently slapped her arm.

“Shut up”

He’s so glad he has her in his life.

He could spend a moment in the bathroom with the shirtless Sauli pictures though and let his mind wander to all sorts of different places.


	3. Masterpiece

Sauli stood in front of the mirror, trying to make himself look as handsome and classy as possible.

He's not the one who should impress anyone, but he wants to impress Adam with his looks and style. He doesn’t even know why, he just does.

He heard a careful knock on the door.

Sauli walked to sit behind his desk and exhaled.

"Come on in" He said loudly and tried to look relaxed. He has no idea how he feels so nervous about the whole project he’s about to do with Adam.

If Adam says yes, that is.

The door slowly opened and a tall figure unsurely stepped in. Sauli's heart flipped. Adam seems to be getting more and more beautiful every time he sees him.

He was wearing suit jacket with normal black T-shirt, skinny jeans and sneakers. He has style, Sauli thought.

"You look very good" He smiled when Adam sat down across him.

Adam gave him a shy smile like he really had difficulties at receiving compliments.

"Thank you"

'You too' his mind wanted him to add, but he didn't.

Sauli pulled out a box under his table, wasting no time to show Adam the pants he would promote.

"You can try them on before you decide" Sauli told him and handed him the pants, "Behind the wall should be fine" He continued and gestured towards the movable wall.

Adam grabbed the pants and walked behind the wall to change them on. He was glad he chose to wear jeans and not some tight ass leather pants or he'd have troubles to get them off fast.

The new pants though...

They were leopard printed and tight, but felt very stretchy.

Adam reached behind himself and cupped his buttocks. What if his ass doesn't look as good as it did in his tight jeans at the café?

He glanced down at his front and noticed how well and tight the pants hugged his package. The pants were like a second skin painted on him.

And they don’t even squeeze his middle uncomfortably.

"Adam? You done?" He heard Sauli ask right behind the wall. At least he didn’t just come and see before Adam said anything.

“Yeah… I got them on” Adam said and stepped out from behind the wall to show Sauli how they fit him.

He swallowed hard when Sauli didn’t say anything at first, he just stared at his legs and walked around Adam.

Adam jerked when he felt Sauli’s hand on the side of his buttock.

Sauli chuckled softly. Adam seems so timid.

“Sorry, I should have warned you that I’m going to touch you. I’m just checking how well they fit” Sauli said, his voice lower than usually.

Mentally, Sauli splashed cold water on his face. This is his everyday job, god damn it.

He photographs sexy models, he sometimes dresses them up, puts whole body make-up and such. He most definitely shouldn’t feel any sexual attraction to them. Most of the time he doesn't but Adam is just... Well.

Sauli shook his head and made himself forget all the thoughts that were creeping into his mind and just focused on what he was doing. Professionally.

“They fit so well” He stated and let go of Adam, “Come. Let’s talk a little” Sauli said and gestured Adam to sit back down.

Adam obeyed and pulled the hem of his shirt a little lower, his face feeling hot.

“So do you take it or leave it?” Sauli asked and pulled out a few papers from the top drawer of his desk.

Adam bit his lip, pondering.

“You can see the pictures before I post them on our website. If you say no then, I still won’t post them. But see this through” Sauli said while handing him a piece of paper.   
Adam took it and started reading it through.

“Now tear it” Sauli suddenly said, which made Adam look at him confused about his words.

Won’t he… get to do it after all?

“Why?”

Sauli smiled and shrugged.

“Because you’re so rare in my eyes. I don’t want to put up conditions for you because somehow I know that you might not want me to publish the photos after all. And I don’t want to give you the feeling that you cannot decide about yourself”

Adam smiled. Well that’s pretty thoughtful but…

“I won’t sign the contract? But that’s unfair. Other models need to do it”

Sauli nodded and inhaled. That’s true.

“You don’t”

Adam still frowned.

“But why? You don’t even know me so why do you care so much?” he asked, still sure that Sauli doesn’t tell him everything. It’s like he’s trying to cheat him into something.

“Because I know that if you don’t like the photos you don’t want me to put them up. You’d be afraid that people will bash you and you cannot take it because you’re sensitive. I see it Adam. I know it” Sauli said in a voice that would soothe anyone.

He sounded very honest about it. Adam looked at the floor, not daring to look into Sauli’s eyes ‘cause it felt like he read his mind.

Adam bit his lip and nodded.

“Okay then…” he said and tore the paper in half.

He hopes Sauli spoke the truth.

Sauli smiled at him.

“You can trust me. I promise”

Adam nodded, still looking at the floor. He tugged on the ring on his finger nervously.

“B-but… You don’t try to cheat me into anything? You didn’t mention that other photo shoot at all…”

This time Sauli frowned at him and got up from his chair.

“Never. I’m not like that, Adam. I’d hurt myself more than you if I did” Sauli assured, “Come. Have a lunch with me and let’s talk about it”

 

~*~

 

Adam followed Sauli in the long hallways of the agency until they reached the cafeteria. He still wore the pants Sauli had given him so a lot of people were staring at his legs when they passed them.

“Take what you want, I’ll pay” Sauli smiled when they reached the buffet.

Adam smiled but felt unease. He doesn’t like it when the other person pays for his lunch. Or dinner. Or anything, really.

But since Sauli is being so nice to him…

He reached down to take a tray but they accidentally grabbed on the same tray.

Sauli giggled and let go, feeling himself blush just as much as Adam did.

“My bad” he snickered and crouched down to grab another tray. Adam chuckled as well and followed Sauli through the buffet, taking same food as he did.

Sauli eats healthy food it seems.

At the end of buffet table, they once again reached for the same spice jar; Basil. It gives a good add to salad.

Their hands touched, sending electrical vibes through Adam’s body.

This time he was the one who let go with a sheepish smile.

Sauli was smiling too, but reminded himself that Adam is just his employee for one project, nothing else. And he isn’t necessarily even gay.

“Have some jalapeno, Sauli” The cook laughed and pointed the jalapeno jar.

Sauli laughed as well. It was their own inside joke they came up with months and months ago.

“Na, spicy food makes me horny” Sauli said with a big grin, "And I have no one waiting for me, so"

Adam’s eyes widened for a second and he felt a curious twitch in his pants. It sounded like it was a joke but the words still made Adam’s genitals take an interest.

The cook laughed as well and returned to the kitchen.

Sauli still chuckled and glanced at Adam.

“He’s the cook. He’s very cool but little weird” He said and Adam just smiled, trying to ignore the uncomfortable twitching in his pants. 

He followed Sauli at the table and they sat across each other.

The sun was shining brightly from the window and made Sauli’s golden hair glisten beautifully. 

“I recommend jalapeno though” Sauli said all seriously then, “It really feels like it boosts your sex life”

“I bet” Adam managed to get out but it sounded like it was squeezed out of him.

Sauli would probably discuss about this subject all naturally but Adam would come in his pants before he’d be finished. 

“But what about the other photo shoot?” Adam asked after he took a sip of his water.

“Yea, about that” Sauli started, chewing on his food while talking so he swallowed before continuing, “The name of the photo shoot would be ‘Dance by myself’ and it would be the first part of my new project. It goes to private files and it stays there forever if that’s what you want. If you however want maybe more money later in your life, they can be published”

Adam nodded. The name of the shoot gave him an idea of course and he started to get a little nervous.

“And… What would I do?” He asked nervously, his food forgotten.

“You would tease me by teasing yourself” Sauli casually said like it was no big deal.

Adam’s mouth gaped slightly open.

“You mean I should… Touch myself?”

Sauli choked on his drink. He doesn’t understand how that happened since that’s exactly what he had in mind.

Maybe because it was Adam who said it out loud. 

“Yeah” He wheezed, “That’s what I was thinking”

Adam’s stomach turned. That’s so not going to happen.

“I can’t. I’m sorry”

“Don’t think that you should rip off all your clothes and stroke your naked glory in front of the camera. That’s not what I was thinking” Sauli explained quickly.

Adam felt himself once again blushing.

“Then what?” he asked quietly.

“You’d sit on the couch and do what feels comfortable for you. We can try it but if you don’t wanna do it then you don’t have to” Sauli said, “You can stop whenever you want” he convinced.

Adam exhaled and gave a vulnerable look to Sauli.

“I wouldn’t have to… Reveal my abdomen?” He carefully asked because that was the thing he was afraid of.

Sauli shook his head as no, frowning a bit. He's asking Adam to do something very intimate in front of him and Adam worries about revealing his naked tummy.

“If you don’t want to, then no" He said. 

 

~*~

 

“They’re beautiful” Sauli said in awe while he browsed through the photos he took of Adam and the new pants. His legs looked absolutely amazing.

Lucky whoever gets to run his or her hands on them while kissing Adam. And of course, kiss the thighs before going down on him, Sauli thought. 

Jesus, just stop, Sauli told himself. 

“Now, that’s inappropriate” he mumbled to himself but didn’t notice Adam came back from the dressing room.

“What is? Did I do something wrong?” He immediately asked and walked to Sauli to see the pictures too.

“No. You did amazing job, these are really great” Sauli smiled and showed Adam his favorite shots.

He could see Adam was smiling just slightly. 

“You didn’t photoshop them yet?”

“No” Sauli smiled.

Adam looked amazed by the pictures. He can't believe Sauli managed to make him look so slim and actually quite good looking. 

“They look… Better than I thought”

Sauli nodded, agreeing.

“They really do” He murmured and tried to rip his eyes off Adam’s legs. Thank god they did this photo shoot at night when other employees have already left because Adam seemed more confident when there were no others walking in and out the door.

Sauli is pretty much a stranger to him too, but Adam trusts him more than he would have trusted in someone else.

Sauli switched off the screen of the computer and turned to look at Adam.

“Now that you do this so well already you wanna try the other one?”

Adam bit his lip, but nodded right away.

“I know you’re professional and you do your work well. I count on that” Adam smiled, which made Sauli smile nervously, "And I really need money"

Yes, professional, Sauli reminded himself. After this he won’t see Adam again and that’s it.

This is just his job. No big deal. 

"Okay… Sit on the couch" Sauli said softly and walked to the lamps to dim them a little. He didn't want them too bright, he wanted shadows in the photos. He can edit the light later if he needs to.

Adam did so, but Sauli noticed he was stiff and not really comfortable and loose enough to let himself go like this.

Which is not a wonder. Every model feels nervous when they first time do this kind of photo shoot.

Sauli walked to him and sat down next to him.

"I understand I'm a complete stranger to you and I ask a lot from you. If you want to stop, just tell me that and I put the camera down immediately. Promise?"

Adam glanced at Sauli who smiled at him.

"Okay"

"Good. And professional tip; Think that you're the sexiest motherfucking person on this entire planet” Sauli murmured and got up, “Now close your eyes" he smiled and grabbed his camera.

"I feel so… Unsure"

"Shh. There's no one else here. Just me" Sauli calmly talked and again walked closer to Adam, "Now, relax. It's just me. I'm not going to whisper to anyone, I'm not going to laugh or judge. I'm not going to call you names. Just listen to my advice, but do tell me if you feel too uncomfortable, 'kay?"

"Okay" Adam exhaled and closed his eyes.

He feels nervous, unattractive and definitely not suitable for photo shoots. Especially not this kind. 

He jerked when he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders.

"I know when the model is nervous and that is when the work usually fails. The photos end up looking forced. Try to relax" Sauli whispered and with some professional abilities he managed to press on the right spots to make Adam relax a little.

"Forget about the studio and me. Just imagine the scene I tell you... You're tired and have just sat down on the couch after work"

Adam's legs automatically fell more open. 

Sauli swallowed hard and licked his lips almost subconsciously. He continued;

"Are you into he or she?"

Adam gulped, his face heating up. Maybe Sauli will cancel this if he finds out he really is gay.

But in the other hand, he doesn't want to lie so he replies;

"He"

Sauli smiled, knowing that Adam doesn’t see him. Jack-fucking-pot. 

"Okay. Think about your boyfriend or if you lack one, your crush"

Adam felt his pulse speed up. Whatever Sauli is doing, it's affecting him in a way nobody has ever made him feel. Something that makes his whole body tingle with anticipation.

"Now..." Sauli started and let go of Adam's shoulders, grabbing his camera instead and stood before Adam.

"Think about him. He comes to you, straddles your lap. He has missed you a lot. You hug, cling onto each other. He kisses your neck" Sauli talked in a voice that sounded like porn to Adam's ears. 

In his mind it was Sauli who was playing with him. Adam imagined the warm of his body, the weight on his lap, the lips on his neck...

"He seeks for your lips. You kiss, starting out slowly but it only takes seconds until he's humping against you" Sauli explains, trying not to get too lost in the image himself. 

He is ready behind his camera. It flashes right when Adam's hand twitches on his inner thigh, almost automatically jumping towards his groin.

"You pull him even closer"

Adam's breath hitches, his head drops back and his hand goes a little closer to the target.

Another flash.

"That's right. Don't hold anything back" Sauli whispered, crouching down and took a picture from that angle, "Unzip your pants, Adam" Sauli commands. 

The way he just _tells_ Adam, doesn't ask, makes Adam feel weak. It makes his dick jump. He's used to being bossed around, but to hear such tone from Sauli's mouth makes it different.

He ponders for a second but then,,, Though a little unsure, he unzips them.

"What do I...?"

"Shh. Do what feels right. Now...You strip off his shirt. His body is ripped and it makes you feel hot all over"

The picture of Sauli without a shirt which Danielle showed him, creeped into Adam's mind.

Why on earth did he watch those images because he cannot rip Sauli off his mind anymore.

Yes,,, it does make him hot all over to think Sauli in the scene with him.

Sauli lays down on the floor on his stomach, fingers ready to snap a picture. He's used to seeing models do this, and this is just another photo shoot among others. He once again reminds himself that he's a professional.

"Your open fly is tempting him..." Sauli whispers in a husky voice, "Tease me Adam, I think you're so hot"

Adam doesn't even know when exactly he started to pet his cock. He doesn't pull it out for Sauli to see but he touches himself the best he can.

The gasp Adam let out made Sauli's dick curious. 

"That's right. Keep touching yourself"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the possible mistakes !


	4. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyy,,, This chapter is like long and boring. Bare with me.  
> Because next chapter contains a sexy photoshoot. And it's a looong teasing scene

Adam sat on the windowsill and stared at the pictures Sauli had taken of him. Sauli gave Adam a few copies of them so he could 'admire his own beaty'. 

Sure. Beauty.

He still can't believe he did that. He actually let Sauli photograph him while he was touching himself.

Adam grimaces at he thinks about it. How in the world he was able to do it. He's going to regret this for sure.

And of course, he still has no job. He got to return to school if he won't get one really, really soon. Not that completing high school would hurt him anyway.

Even Sauli hasn't offered him a job even though he seems to care about Adam’s life more than many other.

Danielle needs to pay her own rent and no matter how good friends they are, he can not live here forever.

Adam sighed and put the pictures back to his bag where Danielle wouldn’t find them.

Danielle is at school and he has to endure whole day alone. Allison is his only friend beside Danielle but she's not in LA anymore. Now when Adam doesn’t have a boyfriend, he feels even more lonely than ever before.

The doorbell rang all of a sudden, which startled Adam.

He should work on his timidity, he thought and rolled his eyes at himself. Well at least he's not hiding in the bathroom.

He hopped down from the windowsill and went at the door. He looked through the peephole but didn't recognize the person so he didn't open the door.

If he had something to Danille, he can call her or come to see her later. He’s not opening doors to anyone he doesn’t know.

Talking about calling, Adam pulled his phone out of his pocket for the first time that day to check if he has gotten any calls or messages. Nobody ever texts or calls him so why to bother even look.

But now he had gotten one text message from his mother.

_Where are you? Are you okay? Come and see me. I miss you, honey_

"Miss you too, mom" Adam whispered and put his phone back to his pocket.

He could go and see her now when his father is at work. Because he is the person he doesn't wanna see ever again. If he only can avoid it, he will.

Adam grabbed his jacket from the coat rack and put it on. He checked his hair and make-up from the mirror, ruffling his hair a little. Naw, it doesn’t look good in his opinion.

He grabbed his beanie and put it on.

He made sure he had keys in his pocket in case Danielle isn’t back when he returns.

He left the apartment and used the elevator to get on the lowest floor of the building.

Luckily there were a few cabs nearby, so he took one of them.

Adam told the driver his destination and hoped he won’t take too much payment from him. He can’t afford much.

It was kind of a dark day and it was pouring so the city lights were beautifully visible downtown.

On the way he was admiring the lively city. How freaking great it would be to live fully right here in Los Angeles? In Hollywood?

It would be perfect. But it seems that it only happens in his wildest dreams.

He needs a miracle to get his life back on tracks after everything that has happened to him.

And Sauli… He would be a great add to his messed up life. He alone would make his life so much better. He’s so beautiful too.

Those cheekbones… That smile… That accent…

That body…

Adam bit his lip and inhaled. Sauli is just perfect. He’s so nice and understanding too.

Adam hasn’t yet accepted the fact that he might never see him again. Sauli didn’t offer him any other photoshoot so he probably doesn’t want anything from him anymore.

That alone made Adam sigh dramatically.

 

“’kay, here we are” Said the driver when they reached the destination.

Adam reached into his pocket and gave the driver 45$ and hoped that it’s enough to him.

He gave Adam a look, but accepted it anyway.

Adam got out of the cab and walked the rest of the road to his old home. He saw the car in the garage and the thought that his father might be home crossed his mind.

But it’s not weekend yet. He must be at work.

Adam still has the key, Leila didn’t want to take it from him in case he returns. He inserted it to the lock and unlocked the door, slowly pushed it open.

He stepped to the vestibule but stopped right away when he heard shouting.

Talking, but in a very loud voice. It was definitely Leila and Eber. Hopefully Neil, his little brother, doesn’t need to listen to this every day.

"Oh?! So you're just happy that you drove our, _our_ son away from home?!"

Adam stopped dead in tracks. They are once again fighting about him.

"I didn't! He left because he wanted to!

Adam huffed. Yeah, that's exactly how it went. He wanted because he gave no choice.

"How dare you? He got a bruise on his face accidentally then did he?!" Leila asked loudly. Adam hasn't really heard her yell before, not like that.

"Maybe he did!"

"I can't believe you! How can you treat him like trash?!"

Adam pressed himself closer to the wall and waited for his father's reply.

"I never wanted him. It was a mistake and you know it too! And on top of that; He's gay!"

Adam's heart clenched. His mother has always told him he was wanted and planned together in their honeymoon.

And as long as his sexuality was a secret, his father seemed to love him too. For a moment Leila was quiet and Adam could only wait for her reaction.

"No, he. _He_ wasn't a mistake. Accident, maybe" Leila said, suddenly calm, “But not a mistake. I never regretted it. And what comes to his sexuality, of course it is hard and not quite what I expected. But that’s the only flaw he has"

Adam gasped and both of his hands flew to his mouth in shock. Somehow it feels horrible to hear he was an accident from his own mother.

And also, his sexuality was a disappointment to her. It’s a _flaw_. He tiptoed out of the vestibule, a lump in his throat.

On the porch, he swallowed the lump and took a deep breath. He's not going to cry now, he has been so strong.

"Adam! What are you sneaking here?" He heard his father ask behind him.

He quickly turned around before he'd just push him down from the porch like he could easily do.

"I-I came to see mom" He stuttered out and took a step further away from his father.

"Mom, huh? She's not at home" Eber said and laughed.

Liar, Adam thought and rolled his eyes.

"You're rolling your eyes at me, huh?"

"So? What are you gonna do about it? Punch me again?" Adam asked and turned around again, about to leave without having to discuss with his father any longer.

He didn't manage before Eber turned him around by his shoulders and grabbed him by his collar.

"Let go" Adam said, firmly and surely, but still afraid.

Eber did, but instead slapped him on the cheek.

Adam didn’t even flinch, just brought his hand on the hurt area and closed his eyes, breathing deep through his nose.

Eber nudged Adam down from the porch.

He fell on his side on the wet ground and hit his temple hard against it.

"Don't come back here. We don't need your filthy figure hang around. Go get those boys you like so much and get the hell out of here before I lose my temper" Eber threatened and stormed back inside.

Adam panted a moment on the ground before he dared to get up to sit.

His head throbbed slightly due the hard landing and he pressed the heel of his hand against his temple.

"Ow" He whispered, but fumbled on his feet. He just wanted to see his mom and his little brother but guess it’s no longer possible.

How he’s going to get home now? He will get sick if he has to walk in this weather.

 

~*~

 

The clock hit 11.00 p.m. when Sauli drove back home from work. His day has been long but he doesn't want to admit that he spent last two hours editing and admiring Adam's photos. Especially his legs…  
Sauli won’t get over them.

He really needs to get Adam into another photoshoot because he was simply amazing.

Like a professional after encouraging him a bit.

And sexy. Holy fuck was he sexy.

Sauli bit his lip and lost his focus on the road just for a second.

When his focus returned,

"FUCK!" He cursed loudly as he saw a dark figure on the road.

He hit the break automatically and tried to turn his car enough not to hit the pedestrian and cause him a trip to hospital.

He sagged in relief when his car stopped just in time.

"Fuck me" He breathed out and dropped his head against his hands which were shaking on the steering wheel.

He took a few deep breaths to relax his body and mind before he stepped out of his car to see what happened and to whom.

The person he was about to hit was still in front of the car all frozen in horror.

"I'm so sorry! I lost my focus for a second and then I saw you" Sauli explained out of breath, "Are you okay?" He asked.

No answer.

Sauli tried to see him more clearly in the dark and pouring rain and when he did, he gasped.

"Adam? Oh my god, is that you?" He asked, stepping even closer to him.

It indeed was Adam.

"I'm so sorry, Adam! Oh my god, are you okay?" Sauli asked again, now even more worried and without thinking he placed his hand on Adam's back.

"Yeah... Just... F-freaked out" Adam quietly said, "I think I saw my life flash before my eyes"

Sauli felt even worse now.

"Sorry I should've been more careful" He apologized once again. He hoped to see Adam again but not in this way.

Adam nodded, still a little absent.

Sauli automatically rubbed his back as a soothing gesture. He noticed his jacket was soaking wet, and it made Sauli frown.

It's like he has been outside for the past few hours. Poor thing is shivering like a leaf too.

Sauli is not exactly sure was it because of the incident or because of the coldness.

Very likely both.

"My god, you're freezing" Sauli said and let go of Adam's back, instead he reached up to touch his beanie and face, "You're soaking wet"

Adam just looked at him.

"I'll take you home, get in the car" Sauli commanded and got inside of his car.

With unsteady steps Adam got into the car as well, sighing at the warmth he felt once inside. Little odd to step in the person’s car who was about to drive over you, but since it’s Sauli… Adam forgives him.

"Where do you live? With Danielle, right?"

Adam nodded and rubbed his hands together to create some friction to warm them up and blew air against them as well.

"But I can't go there now" he lied and looked out of the window to avoid Sauli's look.

"Why?"

"Because I.... I lost the keys and Danielle is not at home. She's having a sleepover with her friends" Adam made up quickly.

He can't let Danielle see him like this. Not abused and beaten up once again. Thank god the car is dim or Sauli would see his face too.

"Oh. Then I'll take you to my place" Sauli said right away and started up the engine.

Adam's heart skipped a beat.

"No, no, no! Just take me to the hotel" He insisted but Sauli shook his head.

"No. I owe you for that photoshoot. This is the least I can do" He said and turned on the radio.

Adam grimaced, but let it be. There is no way Sauli will let go of it now.

 

When they arrived at Sauli's house, Adam's mouth fell open immediately.

Wow, he has a really huge house. And it looks so sumptuous. He wonders if Sauli lives alone in such a big house.

"Let's get you inside" Sauli said and gestured Adam to follow him when they stepped out of the car.

Adam followed him on the porch and looked around himself when Sauli was unlocking the door.

"Please, come inside. Don't startle, my dog probably runs to us" Sauli smiled and put the lights on.

Adam quickly pulled his beanie lower to cover up the cut on his temple. He has no idea what his cheek looks like by now.

"There you are!" Sauli beamed when Fluffie came to them. He was small, white and his fur was a little curly but it wasn’t a poodle.

He greeted Sauli first, sniffing his legs and his tail wiggled excitedly from side to side.

Adam smiled at the sight and crouched down when the dog left Sauli and instead gave its first bark to Adam.

Adam reached out his arm and let him sniff his hand.

"Hi" He said quietly and dared to scratch the back of its ear.

Sauli's heart was warming up and he smiled. Usually Fluffie doesn't let his guests go so easily. He barks at them quite a lot and he even growls at bigger men for some reason.

"That’s so weird. He never likes strange men. He finds them scary" He told Adam and Adam smiled wider.

Finally someone who doesn't find him strange or scary.

"Go now, Fluffie. Adam needs to get rid of his wet clothes" Sauli said and gently tapped his dog in the hip, “Menehän nyt siitä"

He left Adam alone immediately and strutted out of the hall.

"Starting with that beanie, jacket and shoes. Get rid of them" Sauli commanded. 

Adam can't take his beanie off. Sauli would see the cut and he really doesn't want to explain where did it come from.

He anyway got rid of his jacket. Underneath that he wore only a T-shirt which was soaking wet as well, clinging onto his skin.

Sauli tried not to stare at Adam's nipples. They were hard and poking through the fabric due to coldness. Man, it looks like he has piercings there.

Sauli couldn't help but stare even though he didn’t mean to. He wants to touch and lick them so bad.

Adam bent down to take off his shoes, and Sauli cursed he wasn’t on the other side to check out his fabulous ass.

"I'll take these somewhere to dry. Wait right here" Sauli said and grabbed his jacket and shoes when Adam had taken them off.

Adam staid exactly where he was and looked around. A house he could only dream of having. It's so spacious and fresh.

Fluffie came back to sniff Adam's interesting scent as soon as Sauli had gone. This time he rose on its back feet and held on to Adam's knee.

"Hi there again" Adam smiled and bent down to pet him, "You like me, don't you?" he babbled in a child-like voice.

Fluffie landed back on all fours and gave a single bark.

Adam chuckled, his eyes glistening. He never fights against having a new friend.

"Oh you!" Sauli said when he came back and noticed Fluffie had come back to sniff and seek attention from Adam.

"It's okay. He is nice" Adam beamed and straightened up.

"Yes, but you need a shower and dry clothes" Sauli said firmly and grabbed Adam by the hand, "Come"

Adam swallowed nervously at the feeling of Sauli's skin and followed him upstairs, where he lead him in to some bedroom.

"This is the guest room. You can stay here for the night. Bathroom is the last door on the right. Go to take a shower" Sauli told him and pointed towards the bathroom door which was on the end of the hallway, then walked at the closet and pulled out a towel and handed it to Adam, "Here's a towel for you"

"Thanks" Adam said with a small smile. He fidgeted, trying to figure out a way how to tell Sauli he wants to undress in private.

He's so not going to strip in front of him.

Sauli noticed Adam's face and uneasiness, and he almost like woke up from a trance then.

"Oh! I just... I'll go to make us some snack while you shower. I bring some clothes to you here on the bed and… Yeah. Use shampoo and everything what you need" Sauli told him and left the room, closing the door as he left.

Hopefully he doesn't bring them right now when Adam's about to undress.

Adam took off his beanie and walked to the mirror, frowning when he saw the dried blood on his temple.

Adam examined it and noticed the wound itself wasn't too deep. At least for what he could tell. 

He can wash it in the shower.

Adam took off his wet shirt and turned away from the mirror. He can't stand looking at all the scars and marks on his stomach. 

They just remind him that he is defeated.

He threw his shirt on the wooden floor and started unbuckling his belt. If Sauli storms in now he’s gonna break someone’s neck.

Adam stripped off his pants and flinched when the fabric rubbed the side of his thigh on the way down.

He frowned and glanced down at what might cause the partly painful contact. Oh perfect, his skin is torn from there too. Probably from the fall.

He kicked off his pants and took off his socks, throwing them on the floor next to his shirt.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and peeked out of the room, making sure Sauli wasn’t anywhere close.

When he saw that the road is clear, he quickly walked to the bathroom and locked it.

Sauli’s bathroom was big too. More of like a personal, private spa.

He has a bathtub, but Adam won’t use it since Sauli said he could shower. He didn’t mention the tub.

Adam loves baths, though. They are perfect way to relax. Or at least try to relax.

Adam let the towel around his waist drop and stepped into the shower stall.

He turned on the shower and let the water wash all the dirt from his face. The cut on his temple was stinging, but Adam carefully tried to rub and scratch the dried blood off.

If he’s lucky enough, Sauli won’t notice a thing.

When he was done with his temple, he turned off the shower and grabbed a shampoo bottle, poured some on his palm, then put the bottle back.

He closed his eyes and rubbed the shampoo on his hair with massaging movements.

He loves massages too. He hopes that he’d have someone to pleasure him with them. He loves giving them just as much too.

He sometimes rubs Danielle’s shoulders because she’s his special friend, but it’s not the same as share it with The someone special.

Like Sauli.

Adam shook his head at his thoughts and told himself to stop thinking impossible things. Sauli is way above him and maybe not even gay.

Sauli looks just the type who could have anyone. No matter what his sexuality is.

Adam sighed and turned on the shower, rinsing his hair.

Feeling the hot water on his cold skin was heavenly. While it felt like it even burnt his skin a little, it still felt so amazingly good.

Seemed to feel really amazing. Adam glanced down at his body and rolled his eyes, sighing. Why does it have to get up every time when it’s not necessary?

He certainly isn’t going to jerk off in Sauli’s bathroom for God’s sake.

Adam ignored it and continued showering without giving any attention to his curious cock.

But when he was washing his body, he couldn’t avoid touching it.

And he obviously can’t go downstairs to Sauli with an erection. That would be way more embarrassing than to jerk off in his bathroom without him knowing about it.

“Fuck” Adam mumbled and browsed through all the bottles on the shelf.

His eyes went wide when he saw an actual lube.

His cock twitched at the thought of Sauli masturbating in the shower.

But Adam’s not going to use it. Sauli might notice.

He just grabbed a conditioner and used it to make the slide a little slicker.

He had to bite on the wrist of his other hand to stop himself from making any voices as he stroked himself hard. 

 

~*~

Sauli sat at the table, drinking coffee and eating a sandwich.  
He just heard Adam step out from the bathroom about 5 minutes ago and he hoped that the clothes he brought on to his bed fit. They are some clothes that appeared to be too big for Sauli.

Fluffie was laying on the floor next to the dining table and started shaking his tail when he heard steps from upstairs.

Sauli chuckled and carefully rubbed his back with his foot.

“Silly. What’s so interesting in Adam, huh?” he asked and took a sip of his coffee.

Fluffie got on his feet and became even more enthusiastic when Adam’s steps came closer.

“I used your products, hope that’s fine” Adam said when he came to the dining room.

“Of course, that’s…” Sauli started and glanced at him. His words just caught in his throat when he saw how freaking beautiful Adam was without any shreds of make-up.

“That’s…?”

“Fine. That’s fine! I told you to use anything you need to” Sauli quickly said, trying not to seem like a complete idiot.

Adam smiled sheepishly, remembering his masturbation session and sat at the table as well.

It’s past midnight and he’s tired, but he’s also very hungry.

“Please, have whatever you want. You want coffee?” Sauli asked and got up.

“Sure” Adam replied and reached to take a sandwich Sauli has made.

Sauli made his way to the kitchen and opened the cabinet.

He frowned when he saw that all the cups were on the highest level. Why did he let that one cleaner woman clean all his cabinets too?

And of course, there is no stool.

He rose on the counter and tried to reach a cup, but accidentally dropped a glass from the counter.

“Perkele” He cursed.

Adam ran to the kitchen because he heard something break and frowned when he saw Sauli on the counter.

“You need something from there?” He asked.

“Yes. A cup” Sauli replied and before he could say anything else, Adam was already next to him and reached up.

“Adam, I can do that myself” Sauli pouted frown, but Adam already grabbed one.

“Yeah, but I don’t want you to hurt yourself” Adam said without thinking.

Sauli looked at him, confused, and he realized what he has said. 

“I mean… Like… “

Sauli chuckled.

“It’s okay. I don’t want you to hurt yourself either. There is nothing weird to think that way” Sauli smiled and hopped down from the counter.

He was much shorter than Adam, but could see that he had a cut on his temple.

And a reddish cheek.

How he didn’t notice earlier?

“What happened to your temple?” Sauli asked and reached up to move Adam’s damp hair from the way.

Adam looked down right away and tried to jerk away.

“Nothing” He said, but Sauli lift his head by placing two fingers under his chin and examined the cut.

“Don’t always deny. Glad it’s not deep” Sauli said and stroked the skin next to the cut.

Adam loved the feeling of his fingers. So careful.

“And your cheek?” Sauli asked and turned Adam’s head carefully to side.

Adam swallowed and tried to figure out something to say.

“I just fell”

“You just fell?”

Adam nodded and Sauli let go of him.

“Okay, then” He said and smiled at Adam, “Be more careful”

He doesn't want to poke around. He doesn't necessarily believe in Adam but if he doesn't want to talk, he won't make him.

“I will” Adam said and smiled at him.

Sauli looked at him for a moment before he just blurted out;

“You really look beautiful, you know that?”

Adam blushed and chuckled nervously.

“Oh please, I'm not”

“Yes, you are. Trust me, I know. You could do a photoshoot without any shreds of make-up” Sauli said and rose on his toes to take a closer look of Adam’s skin, “I like your freckles”

That made Adam blush even more. Sauli thought it’s cute. Adam feels so insecure without any reason.

He truly is a natural beauty.

And he’s… He’s crying?”

“Hey,,,” Sauli frowned with an amused smile and cupped Adam's face between his palms, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing” Adam said again and sniffed, wiping his tears.

“Stop saying that and come here” Sauli smiled and pulled Adam closer to his body and gave him a soothing hug, “I have no idea why you cry, but I feel like it’s only a good thing”

Adam hugged the smaller body back and inhaled his oddly comforting scent.

   
~*~

 

Later the night, Adam felt like all the crying he has been keeping inside was slowly breaking its way out.

Adam hugged a pillow close to his body and cried.

It's the first time in years. All his emotions have staid locked up and hidden during the years.

It's like you try to hide your feelings and same time lock yourself away from the reality.

You're afraid to face the cold truth and world alone. And you're just not brave enough to talk about it with anyone.

Mostly,,, because you don’t have anyone.

Living under constant fear is the worst possible feeling in the world. You can’t even sleep without being a bit paranoid.

You just wanna run away and wake up from that nightmare you’re going through.

Fear... Is the worst enemy of a person.

Adam covered his mouth to mute his sob because he knew Sauli was still awake and could hear him.

The pillow was already wet of his tears and more were pouring down.

He should be glad that Sauli punched a hole to his thick shelter. Figuratively.

Adam noticed a beam of light peek into the dark room and he quickly wiped his eyes and turned his pillow around.

But it wasn’t Sauli who came in, it was just Fluffie.

He hopped on the bed and came close enough to lick the salty tears from Adam’s cheeks.

Adam giggled and tried to push him away.

“What now? Go back to Sauli” He said but Fluffie laid on top of his stomach.

“Okay. But be careful with your nails, ‘kay? I have wounds there and they hurt” Adam smiled at the dog and petted his fur.

Animals have an amazing effect on your mood.


	5. Don't leave me here alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter were supposed to be longer, but I wanted to get it out before I start studying again -,-  
> I have one exam on Friday and second next Wednesday, but I keep writing when I have time.

The beams of moonlight were shining inside the room, lighting up Adam's teary face.

Rain has stopped and the weather was mostly clear, but spooky in a way.

Fluffie was still laying on Adam’s stomach making funny voices, like he was crying because Adam was. 

Adam knew Sauli hasn’t gone to sleep yet. He said he needs to do some paperwork before he can go to bed.

"Be shh or Sauli will hear" Adam whispered, but he already saw a beam of light peek into the room due to the door opening.

"Fluffie?" Came the whisper and Adam saw Sauli step into the room, "What are you doing?"

Fluffie whined at him.

Sauli frowned and glanced at Adam’s face though he didn’t really see anything.

"Adam? Are you awake?" Sauli asked because he knows how Fluffie acts like when he feels like someone needs help or shelter.

He's very protective of Sauli and his nephews, and children in general too. But never likes anyone else if he finds them threatening.

He always protects the weaker one, smaller one or in a way broken one.

It’s a dog sense.

"Yeah" Adam sniffed and wiped his eyes, hoping Sauli won’t notice.

Sauli walked further into the room and switched on the bedside lamp.

He was greeted by red and puffy eyes.

"Hey,,, What's wrong?" He asked and sat on the bed next to Adam's hips.

Adam let out a nervous chuckle.

"I'm fi..."

"No, you're not" Sauli said instead and put his hand on Adam's thigh, on top of the cover, "You can tell me"

Adam shook his head and hid his face behind his hands. This was not how he planned the night go.

Actually he didn’t even plan to get in Sauli’s house but now he’s freaking crying in his house too.

Sauli gave him a concerned look and rubbed Adam's thigh soothingly.

"I don't like my guests to be sad. If I have done or said something that upset you, just tell me"

Adam sat up and shook his head again.

"No, you haven't. Maybe that's the point" Adam said and sniffed, "You're the only fucking person in this entire world who hasn't. Even my own mom doesn't love me the way I am and my boyfriend cheated on me because I wasn't good enough. I'm just a piece of nothing, worthless"

Something in Sauli's chest clenched hard.

Adam felt embarrassed for his sudden outburst and he turned his head away from Sauli's stare. Sauli was not his damn mother who should be comforting him.

Sauli swallowed a lump that had appeared in his throat and wrapped an arm around Adam's back. 

His ability to speak in English just disappears in these kind of situations even though he has lived in the States for years.

Adam hugged his own knees to his chest and cried, ashamed and humilaited. 

Sauli couldn't take it. Adam is the sweetest person he knows and he's suffering from a lot more than just poverty, he can tell.

Sauli stroked his back but it didn't feel like it was enough since Adam didn't show any signs of relaxing.

"Hey, come 'er" He whispered gently and moved closer to Adam, pulling him to his chest.

Adam pressed his head on Sauli's shoulder as Sauli hugged him and swang him lightly.

"I'm not your ex-boyfriend, or your mom, or anyone of those people who can't accept you as yourself. You don't know me well but trust me,,, I know what you're going through" Sauli soothed and moved his other hand on top of Adam's head, "Look at me, Adam"

Adam pulled away just enough to look at Sauli.

"I'm here for you. I won't hurt you the way they did. I could never do it to you. You can count on that" Sauli said quietly.

Adam blinked, one tear falling as he did so. He nodded, gazing into Sauli's big eyes.

"Don't cry. You have such beautiful eyes and they are all red and puffy now" Sauli smiled and used his thumbs to wipe off the salty tracks of Adam's tears.

Adam smiled sheepishly and blushed at the gesture.

"Much better. No more tears?"

Adam shook his head as no and earned a wider smile from Sauli.

"Good. I need to get to work in the morning so I need to go to sleep" Sauli said and let go of Adam, getting up from the bed.

Adam moved back under the covers and tried to avoid Sauli's eyes.

He still feels a little embarrassed.

"Try to get some sleep even though Fluffie sleeps with you" Sauli smiled and shut down the lamp.

"I will. Goodnight"

"Goodnight, Adam" Sauli whispered and was about to leave, when Adam called out his name;

"Sauli"

"Hm?"

"Thank you" Was all he said.

Sauli smiled softly and replied;

"Anytime" Before he stepped out of the room and left the room slightly open in case Fluffie changes his mind and decides to sleep with Sauli.

 

~*~

 

Adam woke up by a gentle knock at the door.

"You awake?" Came the voice.

"Mm hm" Adam sleepily mumbled and opened his eyes to see Sauli standing at the threshold, a cup of tea in his hand. Damn, he was wearing a tight tank top.

When Fluffie saw that Adam was awake, he started to lick his face enthusiastically.

Adam giggled and tried to move his face to a different direction.

“Fluffie! Stop!” Sauli said, “That’s not very hospitable”

Adam chuckled and pushed the dog away.

“Yes it is. He shows me he likes me” Adam beamed and scratched the base of Fluffie’s tail.

“And I don’t? Even though I gave clothes to you, cheered you up last night and stopped you from getting a bad cold and brought you home?” Sauli joked and walked into the room.

“Maybe. You don’t lick me though” Adam said without thinking, probably intending it to be a joke but it turned out very awkward.

Sauli’s face went like ‘Oh’ and he cackled at Adam’s horrified face when he realized what he has said.

“I don’t, that’s right. I think that might be really non-hospitable” He said and right then Adam felt a quick peck on his temple, “You believe now that I like you?” Sauli asked.

Adam’s mouth gaped slightly open in shock. In a positive shock.

“Maybe” He smirked.

"Maybe? Shoot. I need to figure out something else then” Sauli said, joking but still kind of serious, “I need to get to work. You wanna ride back to town?" Sauli asked and sat on the bed.

Adam glanced at the clock, it was just 06.20.

But he does have to return to town.

Danielle must be freaking out. Adam feels bad for not telling her where he is and where he has been the whole yesterday and last night.

"Yeah, I guess. I need my clothes though" Adam said and sat up, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Yeah, they're hopefully dry already. I can go and get 'em" Sauli said and stood up, looking around where to place his tea cup, "Want it?" he asked Adam.

"You don't wanna drink it?" Adam asked but took the cup anyway since Sauli offered.

"Nah. You can have it if you want. It’s good for your throat” Sauli said before he left the room to check the situation of Adam’s own clothes.

Adam took a sip of the tea, imagining he could taste Sauli’s lips from the edges of the mug.

But he’d rather taste them properly.

Adam caught his thoughts before they’d fly to heaven again. But hello, Sauli just kissed him on the temple, he's bound to have racing thoughts. 

Adam could only wonder what he meant by figuring out something else.

“Your jacket is still a little wet, but it’ll dry fast in the sun” Sauli yelled from somewhere, probably from downstairs, “I’ll bring these to you”

Adam didn’t bother to reply because he heard Sauli’s running steps already.

Politely, Sauli still knocked at the door before he stepped inside the guestroom. He put the clothes on the bed and grabbed Fluffie in his arms and kissed the top of his head.

“Get dressed and we’ll go. If you need something to eat, you can come with me and have a breakfast with me at the agency”

Adam looked nervously at the floor while Sauli cuddled Fluffie.

But Sauli doesn’t look like he’s realizing Adam doesn’t wanna change in front of him, and Adam’s not going to ask him to go away.

He just stood up and quickly threw off his shirt, back towards Sauli, and pulled on his own shirt.

Sauli hid his face behind Fluffie’s fur as he lurked at Adam changing. Should he leave?

When Adam stripped off his pants, Sauli couldn’t do but notice the wound on his thigh.

“Oh no, what’s that?” He asked and Adam glanced over his shoulder to see what he meant.

“That” Sauli said and pointed at Adam’s thigh, hopefully not giving the idea that he was pointing at Adam’s ass, because that would be just mean considering what he had just said, “On your thigh” he added, just in case.

“I fell on my side so” Adam stated the obvious and quickly grabbed his own pants.

“Makes sense” Sauli said and tried, really tried, not to look at Adam’s booty when he pulled up his pants.

He likes guys who have some ass. Something soft to hold onto and queeze when the one thrusts into him…

Or what to fondle during kissing. He doesn't mind burying his face between plump cheeks either 

Sauli could think thousands of things to do to it. With it. _In_ it. 

Sauli felt the blood rush down into his pants and up his face.

Adam does things to him.

Sauli bets Adam could do a lot of things to him. And with him.

When Adam was fully dressed, he turned around to give Sauli the clothes he’s been wearing.

Sauli let Fluffie down and grabbed the pile of clothes, commanding himself to take them to the laundry basket and not in his bedroom where he could inhale the scent of them later. 

Wow, he's such a creep.

“Thanks. I’ll take them into my r- laundry basket. Then we can go” Sauli said nervously and quickly left the room.

Adam made a confused face and shook his head, chuckling. He hasn’t seen Sauli that nervous or unease yet.

Adam pulled out his phone and noticed that the battery has died during the night since he had no charger with him.

“Great” He mumbled. He can’t even call Danielle.

Hopefully she hasn’t called the police after him. That would be exactly like her.

“Come on, Adam! Let’s go!” Sauli yelled all of a sudden.

Adam grabbed his beanie and put it on in case his hair looks awful which it probably doesn’t but just to be sure.

He walked downstairs and put on his shoes which Sauli had brought there.

“Oh but I need to pee first” He then said, realizing his bladder would soon be too full. 

Sauli laughed and pointed on the left where the closest bathroom was.

“We’re not in that much of a hurry” He said when Adam rushed into the bathroom, "Take your time"

“Yeah, but I don’t want you to be late because of me” Adam yelled back.

Sauli chuckled.

It’s funny how Adam is acting differently even though they’ve known each other only for a few days. Kind of,,, more relaxed and comfortable.

He heard Adam flush the toilet and right after the tap running. Soon he came out.

“You ready now?” Sauli asked smiling and started to walk towards the door. First he made sure he had his wallet and keys in his pockets.

“Yeah” Adam replied and followed him out of the house into the warm weather. Sun was making its appearance in the horizon.

“Be nice, Fluffie! Pia will come after few hours!” Sauli yelled to his dog and closed the door then.

Adam felt a pinch of jealously hit him. Who is this person Sauli mentioned?

Sauli noticed Adam’s serious face and he kind of wanted to smirk at that. Sauli decided to tease him a little.

Just a little.

“She’s one of my exes. And a very good friend” Sauli said and unlocked the doors of his car.

They both got in the car and put their seatbelts on.

“Oh? You have many of those?” Adam asked, sounding way more annoyed than he meant to.

Sauli shrugged and inserted his car key on its place.

“Well, sometimes people want to change their job. She’s an actress nowadays” Sauli casually said and started the car.

Adam frowned.

“What?”

Sauli chuckled while reversing his car.

“You’re so adorable. When I said Pia was my ex, I meant she used to be my employee. She’s a former model. I used to work with her” Sauli told him and turned on the radio when his car was reversed ready to go.

Adam blushed.

“Oh”

Sauli glanced at him very briefly, last night still in his mind as a good reminder not to lose focus when in wheel.

“What? Were you jealous?” He teased.

“No” Adam said with a nervous chuckle, trying to seem nonchalant, “Why would I be? I mean,,, I barely know you”

Sauli nodded, biting back a smile.

“Okay, that’s good. Then you probably won’t mind if I choose another man to my new photo shoot”

Adam’s head perked up.

“What photoshoot?” He asked right away.

Sauli shrugged again and kept driving casually.

“I should do a photoshoot to promote mens perfume”

“Really? Whose? What kind?” Adam asked, surprising himself as well how interested he was.

“It’s mine. My first try on perfumes, but people liked it. Now I only need a one more model” Sauli said with a proud smile on his face.

Now Adam was even more interested.

“Wow. Who are the other models?” he asked.

Sauli smirked.

“Me of course. But Lee took my photos already and we also made a TV commercial” Sauli smiled and glanced at Adam again, “You don’t need to do a TV commercial. Just a photoshoot”

“So now you just assume that I wanna do it?” Adam asked, even though he really wanted to do it. Depends on what kind, of course.

“Do you?”

“Maybe. What should I do?” Adam asked, wishing in the name of God that he wouldn’t have to get shirtless.

“Stand in the water. You’d have a wet hair, white dress shit half way open and regular jeans that cling onto your fabulous thighs. I still need to figure out the slogan” Sauli informed and Adam gulped.

“You’d just ruin that sexy image if you put me into that” Adam grimaced and gestured towards his body, “I’m not exactly a… Model type”

Sauli smiled and subconsciously tapped Adam on the thigh.

“Bullshit. I do remember that one photoshoot...” Sauli smirked.

Adam chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah about that… I think I lost control. I still can’t believe I did that”

Sauli let go of his thigh and returned it on the steering wheel.

“Those photos are so freaking hot” Sauli groaned, but then got serious again and talked with a gentle smile, “I just wish you could see that too”

“It might take a while” Adam admitted.

“I know. I just want you to know that you did everything exactly how I pictured. Those photos are beautiful more than anything else. Artistic, sexy and absolutely beautiful” Sauli told Adam.

Adam smiled shyly. It was so close he didn’t start to jerk off back then.

“You’re so gorgeous, Adam. And I think you’re perfect for the photoshoot. I know tons of models but none of them are nearly as angelic as you are” Sauli admitted, his words made Adam’s heart clench powerfully.

“Thank you” He said automatically, imagining he could feel something appear in his throat.

“You’re welcome” Sauli smiled and turned the volume of the radio up, recognizing one of his favorite songs.

Adam gasped with a tiny smile.

“This is…”

“One of my faves” Sauli finished for him and exchanged a look with Adam.

Adam smiled and turned the volume up even more.

_I remember tears streaming down your face_  
When I said, "I'll never let you go"   
_When all those shadows almost killed your light_   
_I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"_   
_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

 

~♥~

 

They had breakfast at the agency and right after eating, they headed to the beach where Sauli wants the photos to be taken.

It was behind a forest so no other people were there. They had to walk there from the car, no road was heading straight there.

Luckily it wasn’t a long way.

“Change somewhere where ever you feel good” Sauli beamed and handed Adam the clothes he wanted him to wear.

Adam nodded and glanced around him, seeing nothing that could cover his body.

“You can change right here, I’ll do some settings changes to my camera” Sauli said and grabbed the camera from his bag, “Promise you I won’t lurk you” he smirked.

“Like I'd believe that” Adam said, but started changing anyway.

He turned his back towards Sauli once again to keep his abdomen as a secret. Sauli would cancel this immediately if he saw what it looks like.

Abused.

Sauli snickered quietly and mischievously grabbed a small rock from the sand. So small it won’t do any harm.

When Adam was in his briefs and dress shirt and bent down to grab his pants, Sauli threw the rock at his ass.

“Ouch” Adam hissed and grabbed his butt, turning around to see Sauli whistling innocently and playing with his camera.

“What?” He asked innocently and glanced at Adam.

Adam rolled his eyes and smiled, turning back around.

He pulled on his pants and zipped them. Luckily they weren’t some tight ass pants because they would be very hard to get rid of after they’re wet.

“Now come here and get down on your knees” Sauli said and put his camera carefully on the blanket which laid on the sand.

Adam chuckled at the choice of his words and walked to him.

Sauli sat on a big rock and gestured Adam to crouch down before him so he could apply some make-up on him.

“I’ll put on a very light layer of foundation on you. It doesn’t hide your freckles but it keeps your face from burning. You have a very sun-sensitive skin, right?”

“Yeah” Adam said and closed his eyes as Sauli used make-up brush to apply some foundation all over his face.

When he was done, he put the foundation aside and instead grabbed a bronzing powder.

“I’ll apply this on your jawline. It brings up the beautiful shape of your face if I photograph from the side” Sauli said and looked so focused when he applied it on Adam’s jawbone and neck.

He put it aside as well then and beamed at Adam.

“Done”

“What?” Adam frowned, “Nothing else? Come on I look like twelve when I have no make-up on”

Sauli raised his eyebrow.

“You’ve seen weird twelve-year-olds then. Because right now you look ridiculously hot” Sauli stated and got up, then reached out his hand for Adam too.

He pulled him up and tapped him on the hip.

“Now chop, chop. Can’t wait to get some pretty pictures” Sauli beamed, "Just walk there in the water and let your clothes get properly wet. I'll come there and do your hair" Sauli guided and encouraged Adam to dip into the water.

"Is it that detailed?" Adam asked while taking slow steps in the water, “What if some shark comes and tries to eat me?” he whined.

"I want the water to bring up your eyes and when the water dribbles on your face from your hair..." Sauli started and shivered playfully, "No one can resist that. And,,, if there are sharks in there I’ll growl at them and they’ll go away”

Adam huffed, but small smile was playing on his lips. But no point to get cocky, Sauli must say that to every model he works with. The shark thing was not funny though.

"And no, I don't" Sauli said suddenly like he just read Adam's mind, "I just make them feel more ease. Now dip"

Adam inhaled and sank fully underneath the water. As soon as he rose up, Sauli's camera flashed for the first time.

"Hey! You said you'd...."

"But I realized I can't soak my clothes" Sauli beamed and wiggled his eyebrows, then became very serious after he looked through the camera again, "Beside that shot is always the best when you had no idea I snapped a photo. Now,,, show me your sexiest look. The camera is not just an object, it's your lover now. Have some hot eye sex" he hissed.

Adam took a deep breath, eyes closed and exhaled.

He opened his eyes and Sauli’s camera flashed once more before he moved behind the stone so he could rest his elbows on it.

“Squint your eyes a little more” Sauli said, looking through the camera and hoping that Adam can take a piece of advice without getting mad.

Adam did so and Sauli immediately got a “better” photo.

“Good. Your hands look like they don’t know what to do, try to relax them or do something with them” Sauli guided, being completely sure that Adam would figure out something by himself.

He doesn’t need to tell him every movement.

Adam raised his head a little more to bring up his chin and reached up to grab his hair with both hands.

“Keep that, you sexy” Sauli smirked and started snapping more photos. He could only admire how naturally beautiful but still sexy Adam looks.

“Wonderful. Show me more poses” Sauli said.

Adam let his other hand down but kept the other one on his hair and turned his face slightly towards the arm that was still up and closed his eyes.

Sauli inhaled and let his camera take about 10 pictures of that pose.

Adam then opened his eyes and looked straight into the camera which made Sauli jump because he had a zoom on.

“Jesus” He gasped, feeling a twitch in his pants which was totally inappropriate. He should not get turned on by this. 

It’s against his professional photographing skills.

“Don’t look too sexy, I can’t concentrate” He joked and made a face, which made Adam lose his pose because of chuckling.

“Sauli! I was just getting into it” Adam said with a smile.

Sauli chuckled too and browsed through the pictures he had taken.

“These are awesome. Let’s take more” He said and moved his photographing spot, getting on his stomach on the blanket.

Adam took the previous pose but turned his head a little every time Sauli snapped a picture, keeping his eyes as intense as he could.

“Gooood. But your mouth is the same almost all the time" Sauli stated, "Your jaw is tense. Imagine someone is blowing you”

Adam let out a moan at the thought without even realizing, which made Sauli’s hips jerk against the ground.

He needs to add the bronzing powder on Adam’s chest before he gets hard.

"Well, hot damn... " Sauli murmured and kept snapping photos, "These are really amazing"

Adam's hair was dripping wet, his white shirt cling onto his skin, his nipples were hard and visible under the white fabric.

That would get anyone turned on.

Sauli put his camera aside, carefully while putting it on the blanket next to him.

"Wait right there! I'll come and do a couple of things" Sauli yelled after he got up and started rolling up his pant legs.

Adam gulped at the sight of his calves. Those legs wrapped around his waist...

Adam’s fingers twitched in need to touch. Luckily he was in water or Sauli would see his growing bulge.

Sauli bit his lip for a moment, then just unzipped his pants and slid them off his legs completely.

He was in his fucking tight blue briefs and black tank top.

Adam shivered. His crotch not only tingled anymore but actually burnt in lust. He felt like all the blood rushed down between his legs. Why Sauli can't just take off his shirt too?

Sauli approached him and pulled him a little more forward so the water did no longer reached to cover Adam’s crotch. Sauli ruffled his hair a bit more, then blew cool air against his face.

It tickled.

"I'm gonna contrast your cheekbones a little too" Sauli said and started brushing the brown color on his cheekbones, "Not over the top but to bring your beauty out even more"

Adam stared at Sauli's focused face when he applied the make-up. He looks so intense when he works.

"Perfect. Open your shirt a little more, as much as you're comfortable with"

Adam unbuttoned one more button, careful not to reveal his scarred abdomen.

"No more?" Sauli playfully pouted and started to put the collar of Adam's shirt exactly like he wanted it to look. It revealed the middle of his chest but not his nipples.

"No" Adam firmly said.

"Okay. It's fine" Sauli gently smiled and started to apply some powder on Adam's chest too, "Your chest looks very good, don't take this that way. But because this photo will be black and white, I need to bring it up a little more"

Adam nodded, believing that Sauli knows the best after years of experience.

This time Sauli was smiling instead of being all serious and focused on his work.

"Do you have freckles everywhere in your body?" He asked when he finished applying the make-up.

"As you can see" Adam replied.

"But _everywhere_?" Sauli smirked, pressuring Adam just a little to maybe bring up his huskier side.

Adam just wiggled his eyebrows as a response. See it yourself, his mind said.

"Guess I just need to find out someday" Sauli flirted shamelessly and brushed his hand over Adam’s belt buckle. He noticed Adam had a pretty impressive bulge in his pants.

Sauli ran back on the beach and laid back down on the blanket, happy that Adam’s eyes were filled with pure lust by now.

“Yeaaah, Adam… Would you let me find out?” Sauli huskily asked and grabbed his camera, maybe ground his crotch against the blanket just a little too, “Because I would love to”

Adam placed his hand on his belt buckle and other hand went up to his hair again.

“Yes, I think I would” He replied and tapped the buckle seductively.

Sauli forced himself to keep his focus on photographinh. He should just snap the god damn pictures and not think about _it_ inside of Adam’s pants.

“What would you want me to do?” Sauli asked, playing with fire.

He has no idea when he will cross the line since Adam doesn’t know him that well.

He should talk with models to bring up their sexiness but Sauli was talking about himself with Adam.

That’s not appropriate.

Adam sighed heavy and couldn’t help but brush his hand against his growing cock. He couldn’t get a word out of his mouth.

“Would you want me to touch it?” Sauli asked flirtatiously and ground himself against the blanket like a horny teenager.

Adam bit his lip and nodded, rubbing himself.

“Yeah…”

“Jesus Christ, Adam” Sauli murmured and took about 20 shots of that pose. He's most definitely not going to use these ones for the perfume ad but for his own use, yes.

“Do it for me, Adam” He said and bit his lip, curious of what Adam will do. Adam hesitated for a moment, but then he unbuckled his belt.

Sauli snapped a picture of that too.

Adam then reached into his jeans and did as Sauli told him to.

He wasn’t even aware of the camera anymore, he was doing this to tease Sauli since he obviously felt something towards him.

He was hard as a fucking rock already.

Adam started gasping and moaning while he worked his hand in his jeans.

“Does it feel good?” Sauli groaned, unable to stop himself from grounding against the blanket and taking photos.

“Mm hm…” Was Adam’s response.

He woke up from his trance when Sauli’s camera made a voice.

“Fuck. Memory full” Sauli cursed in frustration, “Well if we continued this any longer I wouldn’t have been able to control myself from running to you”

“And I’m going to have painful blue balls” Adam informed and zipped up his pants and buckled his belt, walking towards the shore.

“You’re not the only one” Sauli said and got up, revealing the tent in his underwear.

Adam flushed bright pink at the sight. Sauli just smiled and grabbed his pants, pulled them on and put his camera in his bag.

He packed the rest of his stuff while Adam changed into dry clothes.

He walked to Adam when he was done packing and Adam was done with changing and grabbed him gently by the chin.

“You were once again amazing” He said and kissed Adam on the jaw, not wanting to be pushy and kiss him on the lips.

“Thank you” Adam replied and smiled at the sweet gesture.

He’s in trouble…

He is slowly falling for Sauli…

Adam smiled.

♥


	6. Just wanna touch you for a minute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm... Hi?

Adam stared at himself from the mirror after his make-up was done. This is the first time it was somebody else doing his make-up and taking his pictures.

It wasn't Sauli. He felt way more tense now than he did before.

Sauli had just come and told him that he will be doing the next photoshoot with his friend Lee. He didn’t tell Adam what it was about and what Lee will do with the pictures if Adam gives him the permission to use them after he sees the result himself too.

Adam just had to trust Sauli when he said that Lee is professional and would never use him wrong.

Adam sighed as he brushed his fingers over the cut on his temple and admired how well it was hidden underneath all those layers of make-up. What's hidden is gone.

He heard somebody knock on his door.

"Yeah?"

No words were spoken, but a familiar figure stepped into the dressing room with a gentle smile on his lips.

"Hi gorgeous"

"Sauli? What are you doing here? You said you need to photograph in some runaway show" Adam asked surprised and took a few steps closer to him.

"Oh. Didn't I mention that I put Ashley in there and I will be doing this photoshoot with you? This time I'm not behind the camera" Sauli grinned and took off the hoodie he had on.

He too had a tank top on like Adam, tight jeans and strongly highlighted cheekbones.

Adam gulped. He’s going to do this photoshoot with Sauli ?

"What…?"

"Yes. So shall we go?" Sauli smirked and stepped closer to Adam, sliding off his bathrobe to reveal a tight white tank top and leather pants.

Sauli tried not to pay too much attention to the particular body part which those pants made look desirable.

He took Adam by the hand and lead him out of the dressing room to the very light studio.

Lee was there setting the last lights to create a perfect lightening.

"Finally! Come here you both" He said and came to take them both by the shoulders and walked between them as they moved, "This is going to be so awesome!" He cheered and guided them to stand in the good spot.

He walked to shut down the spare lights he didn’t need, but left on the studio lights that light up Adam and Sauli, then got behind his camera and closed his eyes. 

"I have so clear vision of what I want. One picture will go to LGBT community support and some I keep myself and Sauli, you wanted a few too, right?"

"Yeah. I'm not going to say what they need to look like, I'm counting on you and your talent" Sauli said.

Lee smiled and opened his eyes.

"Thanks. Okay then... Adam, stand a little more sideways" Lee guided, "Yes, just like that. Now Sauli, get in front of him"

Sauli stepped in front of Adam, already guessing how Lee wanted them to be so he turned back towards Adam's chest.

"Yes! Sauli, you read my mind!" Lee squealed and walked to them, "Closer" He said and pressed Sauli by the stomach and Adam by the back until their bodies touched.

Adam gasped quietly when his front made contact with Sauli's lower back and ass. He glanced down at Sauli’s feet and noticed he had shoes on with small lifts.

The brat knew how they need to be and put lifts in his shoes to be in perfect height!

"Good" Lee said returned behind the camera, "Now... Adam, put your hand on Sauli's right hip"

Adam did as he was told and put his hand on Sauli's hip.

"Slide your fingers under his shirt just a little"

Sauli's breath hitched when he felt Adam's hot fingers on his skin.

"Sauli,,, place your hand on top of his and reach your left hand up to touch the side of his face"

Sauli placed his hand on top of Adams and reached up to gingerly touch his face.

Adam sighed under the touch and turned his face slightly towards the soothing hand.

"Gooood. Now.... imagine that.... You guys are so much in love but someone, something, is stopping that. Denying that. Forbids that. And now... You hold on to each other like someone tries to take the other away from you" Lee talked and snapped the first photo when Sauli showed the emotion on his face.

Adam was more focused on their position, his cock eagerly taking an interest on the place it was pressed against.

He was holding Sauli and it was his generous ass against his crotch.

He automatically tightened his hold and that was when Lee snapped another picture.

“Good. This goes for the LGBT. These next ones I want for my collections” Lee said and went to dim the lights a little, then grabbed his camera from its stand and got a little closer to Adam and Sauli.

“Keep that position, but Sauli, you drop your other hand down on the back of Adam’s thigh. Right beneath his buttock”

Sauli did not forget to rub Adam’s thigh as he placed his hand on the place Lee wanted it to be.

He heard Adam’s heavy breathing and something twitched against his ass.

Adam was kind of locked up because Lee is in the room. He doesn’t dare to get lost in the feeling of passion.

“Can you use zoom and get a little further away from us?” Sauli suddenly asked Lee.

“Sure” Lee said and backed off a little, thank god he has a good zoom in his camera.

“He’s used to seeing everything, don’t hold back” Sauli encouraged Adam with a quiet tone and started griunding his ass against Adam’s crotch. Not obscenely but a little to wake up Adam's emotions. 

Adam gasped, which made Sauli smirk.

“Forget about Lee and focus on us” Sauli whispered and moved his hand from Adam’s thigh to his ass, sensually rubbing the firm cheek beneath his palm.

Adam’s cock was hardening more and Sauli couldn’t stop grinding against it. The voices Adam made were simply delicious.

His hardness against his ass woke all the possible passionate feelings he could feel about him.

“You’re so turned on aren’t you?” Sauli whispered and squeezed Adam’s ass.

“I don’t feel good when he’s here… I can’t…” Adam said, but Sauli sushed him before he could finish his sentence.

“Aren't you?” Sauli pressured and squeezed Adam’s ass while smirking mischievously.

“Yes” Adam hissed in to his ear and nudged his hips against Sauli’s bottom to make him feel it.

Sauli bit his lip and posed, his face like teenager’s when a hard dick presses up against her/him for the first time.

Adam encouraged himself and slid his hand under Sauli’s shirt to touch his hot abdomen which he hasn’t yet seen. It felt well built and his abs was hard.

He didn’t get to play too long until Sauli turned around in his arms and smirked up at him.

When he’s being the photographer, he’s not allowed to get too touchy with the model but when he does a photoshoot with someone, it’s a whole different thing.

He pressed himself against Adam and reached to touch his ass with both of his hands.

“Keep doing that and my pants will break” Adam muttered and kept his hands on Sauli’s hips.

“I feel that” Sauli said and glanced down between their bodies to see Adam’s raging bulge, “And see that. I’d kiss you right now but… I don’t want the first time to be on camera”

Adam’s heart flipped.

“What…?”

“You heard me” Sauli whispered and instead of kissing him, he just hugged him, “I like you”

Adam was shocked for a few seconds. He huffed in confusion, but hugged Sauli back anyway.

 

::♥::

 

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you then. Bye" Sauli said and ended the call with Lee.

Adam sat on his desk, swaying his feet and ate a yoghurt he got for free from the cafeteria.

Sauli stared at him, which caught Adam's attention.

"What?"

"Nothing" Sauli beamed, still staring.

Adam stared at him back but then returned his attention on his snack.

"I don't like it when people stare" He said, his tone more annoyed than it should have been.

Sauli frowned.

"Okay. Somebody got up with the wrong foot" He said and got back browsing his papers. Actually didn’t get up with wrong foot since he was all happy earlier.

"Sorry" Adam said and put his yoghurt aside.

"Accepted" Sauli said, but didn't pay much attention to Adam anymore.

Adam sighed and rubbed his temples.

"You have painkillers?" He asked, more softly now.

Sauli immediately glanced up at him and furrowed his eyebrows in sad line.

"Headache?"

Adam nodded.

"Yeah..."

"Aw, poor you. You should be at home resting" Sauli said and got up from his chair, intenting to grab some pills.

Adam shrugged. Maybe so.

"Danielle can't keep me there anymore. His boyfriend moved in" Adam told Sauli, and Sauli could see how hurt Adam was by that. His best friend can’t help him.

He grabbed a painkiller from the cabinet and handed it to Adam with a bottle of water.

He watched as Adam took it, then grabbed the water bottle and put it back in the small freezer he had in his office.

"Let's talk about it later. Now I need you to rest. Come with me" Sauli smiled and gestured Adam to follow him.

There was a door in Sauli's office which was probably a storage and Sauli lead Adam to that door. Adam couldn't help but wonder.

"Sometimes when I do work late, I stay here in the agency over the night" Sauli said when unlocking the door. He pushed it open and turned on the lights.

It wasn't roomy, but there were a small couch and blankets, and lot of some boxes.

Probably some papers and stuff.

And one picture on the wall. It was in a frame. Picture of three girls.

“My sisters” Sauli said when he noticed Adam looking at the photo, “I miss them a lot”

Adam smiled and nodded.

“I miss my brother. Can’t see anymore”

It just slipped.

Sauli frowned.

“Why?”

Adam shook his head and chuckled nervously.

“Forget”

Sauli did. He knows if he doesn’t wanna talk now, he won’t. But later Sauli will definitely bring this up.

"This is where I keep all the old papers, but I bet there is enough room for you to sleep" Sauli chuckled and lift one box down from the couch.

The curtains were down already, but it still hurt Adam's head to see the little bit of light and he flinched, closing his eyes.

Sauli noticed it.

"I'll go now. Take a rest, I will be in my office all the time" Sauli smiled softly, his tone more calm now.

Adam got on the couch and laid down, hoping that the hurting would stop soon. Usually he needs to get some sleep first before it goes away.

By hurt, he means emotional suffering. 

It's not like his head hurts physically. He is hurting, which makes him feel like his head is exploding. Which is not really new, but it’s been worse lately.

Living years in an illusion of his own looks kicks him at the times.

"Adam?" Sauli called out.

Adam didn't reply, just stared at the ceiling.

"Your head's not sore, right?"

Adam shook his head, staring into nothing.

Sauli inhaled, exhaled quietly and turned on the lights since he had no reason to keep them off.

"What's wrong then?" He asked and leaned his side against the doorframe.

"Me" Adam whispered and turned his back to Sauli. He's not in the mood of letting him look at him now.

Sauli frowned sadly and stepped further into the small room.

"What is it?" He asked gently, his previous annoyance gone in a flash.

He touched Adam's hip but he jerked away from under his touch.

"Don't touch me, please" He hissed but Sauli didn't let go of it.

"You've been oddly negative since we came from the photoshoot. You're cranky and lay here in the dark alone rather than keep me company in my office" Sauli stated and squeezed Adam's hip again, "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. It's me"

"What about you?"

"Do you know that mirrors lie?"

Sauli got confused due the sudden question but Adam must have a point here.

"Yes. When I realized it I went through a dark path" Sauli admitted, "Why?"

"I'm on that path. I like to look pretty and sometimes I even think that I look pretty but then... I remember that I don't even know what I look like. Mirror is a flipped image. When you stare at me like you did minutes ago I just... I don't want you to see everything that is wrong in me" Adam softly spoke and blinked a tear, "What if I'm... really unattractive?" He asked and turned on his back.

"Adam..." Sauli started, but was interrupted.

"I hate myself. Not even the photoshoots can change that fact. I just can't stand my freaking face, my body or even my constant complaining"

Sauli knew well enough that when someone is so deep on the thought of being bad, you can't make the change in one day.

He straddled Adam's body and staid on his hands and knees above him.

Adam's eyes widened.

"What. Are you doing?"

"How freaking close I need to come? I can't see any flaws"

Adam swallowed. Sauli was way too close.

"Uhm... I think you need to be just a little closer..."

Sauli leaned closer, feeling Adam’s breath hot against his mouth.

Sauli opened his lips, ready to kiss the freckly, pretty lips.

*Knock knock*

Sauli closed his eyes and sighed, cursing in his mind. Always, always.

He pressed a kiss on the tip of Adam’s nose and smiled at him.

“I go with Lee now. And remember,,, You’re beautiful”

Adam’s heart beat fast as he looked Sauli disappear from the room.

Were they really about to kiss? Sauli was about to kiss him? Sauli said he is beautiful.

Beautiful.

“Oh, and Adam!” Sauli called out and stepped in again, “When I come back, I wanna show you something. While that you can browse the boxes. You may find something interesting” he said with a smile and then left.

Adam just nodded even though Sauli wasn’t in the room anymore.

Adam got up right away, feeling slightly better just for Sauli.

He walked closer to the framed picture on the wall and smiled. They have some same features as Sauli has.

Adam crouched down and eyed all the boxes and folders in the lowest shelf level.

He saw folders like Vogue, Fault, glamour, cosmopolitan. Then one caught his eye;

Fault: Koskinen, Sauli

Adam immediately grabbed that folder and opened it. He was greeted by a shirtless Sauli.

“Oh my…” He whispered. The pictures were the same he saw from Google, but only this folder contained more of them. Unreleased pictures.

Adam browsed through them all, admiring Sauli’s beauty. He looks absolutely stunning.

He wonders if Sauli has insecurities at all. He seems so perfect.

He put the folder back and kept eyeing the shelf.

“Glamour photoshoot and interview; Koskinen, Sauli”

Adam pulled the folder on his lap and opened it, curious about the interview.

He started reading the text, thumb in his mouth.

”Q: You’ve become such a huge star. How did all that happen?”   
”A: It’s a very long story. People always, especially my father, made fun of my dreams to become a model or a photographer. I moved out from home and did some working in Finland, every possible job was good. I found myself from the train station roof at one point, pushing down the snow. Then I just decided to reach towards my dreams and left the small country. LA already feels like home to me though I’ve lived here for only six months. I’m enjoying my life”

Adam smiled at Sauli’s answer. It seems like his way here on the top of modeling industry wasn’t so easy at all. He must’ve worked his butt off.

Adam skipped a few questions.

”Q: How’s your love life?”

“A: No time for dating, so single”

Adam sighed. Maybe he doesn’t have time nowadays either.

Q:”What features your future date would have then?”   
A: “The man of my dreams would have an awesome personality. Beautiful heart and soul. I’m not so much into outer beauty, truth lies underneath. But of course,,, a great booty would always be a plus [Laughs]”

Adam chuckled. Sauli has always been goofy.

Adam put the folder back in the shelf and smiled.

 

::♥::

 

After Sauli came back from his meeting, he took Adam into a big hall filled with framed photos. They were very artistic.

They stopped in front of the first photo which was of a girl with a crooked nose.

“When I came to LA, I wanted to make people believe in themselves. I settled a photoshoot in some shopping mall. It was called ‘Your biggest insecurity’. There were tons of people coming to me and tell what they hated in themselves. Crooked nose, crooked mouth, long forehead, round face, asymmetrical face etc. I wanted to show that the particular part can be pretty if they believe in it” Sauli explained and pulled Adam towards a photo of a young boy with burn on his face.

“He was bullied because of it. I showed the city that just because you have a burn in your face because you saved your baby sister from the fire doesn’t make the person ugly. He has the greatest heart on earth”

Adam swallowed a lump in his throat. He can’t imagine how much Sauli helped these people to overcome their insecurities.

They walked past a few photos then until they reached a picture of a face of a girl.

“She said she has asymmetrical face and that she hates it. After the photoshoot she loved her slightly crooked eye. I didn’t edit any of these photos” Sauli revealed and glanced at Adam’s face who now had wet eyes.

He pulled Adam towards the last and the biggest picture.

“This guy thinks he has short legs and long back. He’s short for a guy and that’s why he was doubted. People said he couldn’t success in modeling industry”

Adam stared a picture of Sauli.

“That picture gave me my first contract” Sauli smiled and faced Adam fully, “You see now, Adam? It’s not just about what others think or what you think. It’s about your heart, your endless working for your dreams and strong self-esteem. There is no one in this world who has right to judge you by your looks, religion or sexual orientation. Your skin color or your homeland. Only you know what you are and what you can do but you got to trust in yourself” Sauli talked and stared into Adam’s bright blue eyes.

Adam nodded and glanced the picture of Sauli.

“There is nothing wrong with you, Adam. Not with your face, your body or with your sexuality. You’re perfect just the way you are, believe me” Sauli smiled and grabbed Adam’s hand, stroking his knuckles, “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise”

Adam nodded and blinking a tear.

“Interested in coming to my place over night?”

Adam’s eyes darkened just a little.

 

::♥::

 

In Sauli's place the first thing they did was to eat dinner. Sauli is an excellent cook. He cooks healthy and great food.

"You can stay in the same room as you did last night if you want. Luckily it's saturday tomorrow" Sauli said when he put all the plates in the dishwasher.

"Yeah. I feel like I could sleep the whole day" Adam chuckled and brushed his hand through his messy hair as he sat on the couch near the dining room and lay down, his eyelids heavy….

 

He wishes to sleep in Sauli’s bed though.

Sauli smiled at him and nodded, agreeing.

"I have one thing before I let you to sleep though"

Adam frowned.

"What is it?"

Sauli took both of Adam's hands in his and pulled him on his feet from the couch.

"I still think about that what you did on the beach... You were so hot... Memory was full way too soon. Do you want to... continue it now? Only here in my house" Sauli asked seductively and looked deep into Adam's eyes.

Adam nodded, biting his lip.

"Good" Sauli smirked and held Adam's other hand when he lead him to his home studio.

Adam saw a few studio lights, couch and a camera stand.

His heart was pounding against his ribcage when he thought about what was gonna happen now. The anticipation is killing him.

"Sit on the couch" Sauli whispered and pulled out his camera.

Adam sat on the couch and knew well enough to spread his legs wider.

Sauli smirked and already snapped the first photo.

"Do you want me to talk to you?" He asked and laid on the floor on his stomach, feet in the air and watched Adam through the camera lenses.

"Yeah..." Was Adam's reply.

"Okay then. Open your shirt first"

Adam unbuttoned the first four buttons of his shirt and pushed it open to show his chest. It was still so smooth since he was so young.

Sauli licked his lips at the sight. He'd do anything to kiss that chest and tease his nipples.

"Good. We were talking about if you'd let me find out do you have freckles everywhere in your body? You would, right?"

"Yeah" Adam whispered and bent his head back, his hand sliding down his chest and stomach as the camera was flashing continuously.

"Mm. You'd want me to touch it, huh?" Sauli whispered and shivered as Adam nodded, "Should I stroke it?"

"Yes" Adam hissed and rubbed his inner thigh, his other hand inside his shirt playing with his left nipple.

"Nice and slow or hard and fast?"

"Both... "

Sauli cursed and tried to keep his steady breathing or his hands would shake and the photos would fail.

"Tell me what should I do"

Adam bit his lip and started to stroke his bulging crotch through the tight fabric, moaning softly while doing so.

"You’d touch it. Stroke it. Rub it... You'd start slowly... Going up and down, squeezing a little more at the tip"

Sauli groaned and stared at the hand massaging the bulge. Adam wasn't completely average sized.

"Geez, you're big"

It slipped before Sauli could even realize, making Adam's head jerk back up. He wore a smirk on his face.

"I don't wanna be cocky" he said and gave a few rubs to the target area.

Sauli chucked and snapped a picture of that smirk.

He's so going to jerk off to these photos later, he thought.

"What about my mouth?" Sauli hissed and crawled a little closer to the couch.

He feels like he's shooting porn which he has never done and never will. That industry is a whole different thing.

Adam let out a soft moan as his head dropped back again.

"Would you like it?" Sauli teased and licked his lips in a seductive way, "I bet you'd taste so good on my tongue.."

Adam unzipped his jeans and pushed his hand inside the open, inviting fly. He breathed heavy when his fingers made contact with his straining flesh.

He rubbed his forefinger against the wet tip and his hips jerked automatically.

Sauli ground against the floor desperately and zoomed to Adam’s hand working in his pants.

“Tell me how it feels”

“Good” Adam whimpered and started to stroke himself the best he could. His pants were kinda tight…

He decided to tease Sauli even more and started sliding his jeans off slowly, making sure Sauli is getting horny as fuck.

He’s not together with Sauli so he won’t be showing any skin of his private parts. He's somehow not capable of fooling around without knowing the other person.

Sauli almost dropped his camera when Adam threw his pants off and sat there only in his tight black briefs.

“Fuck Adam… You’re so sexy I can’t handle it” Sauli hissed and his camera was flashing eagerly.

Adam knows exactly where Sauli needs the pictures.

He smirked and touched the lump in his briefs, making sure that Sauli saw how well endowed he really was.

The odd thing was that Adam was feeling sleepy…

 

_“Adam, wake up!”_

Adam jerked awake. He was in Sauli’s living room, lying on the couch, and Sauli was yelling his name before the couch.

Sauli glanced down at Adam's lap and saw that he was hard. Dear, oh dear, Adam was seeing naughty dreams…

Sauli tried not to smirk.

“You fell asleep right after dinner!” Sauli squeaked and playfully frowned at Adam. He pulled Adam to a sitting position, and looked down at his flustered face. 

Adam gave him a sheepish smile.

“Tell me once again… How close I need to be?” Sauli asked, referring to the conversation they had earlier.

Adam swallowed hard and gingerly put his hand on Sauli’s hip.

“Closer” He whispered.

Sauli smiled and bent down face to face with Adam. For a few seconds he just enjoyed the feel of Adam’s hot breath against his face.

“Am I close enough if I…. do this?” Sauli asked quietly and pressed his lips against Adam’s soft, plump lips. 

They just kept them pressed against each other for a while, their eyes closed. When they pulled away, Adam’s eyes sparkled, but they also looked kind of heavy.

“Yeah… But I think you should be even closer ….” He whispered and cupped Sauli’s face, pulling him down on his lap for a more passionate kiss.

Their lips moved and danced together, sliding over each other wetly and smoothly, like they were meant to be. 

Sauli sighed softly, settling firmly on Adam's lap. He felt his erection against him and it made his body wild.

Adam bent his head back when Sauli's lips slide along his jaw to his neck. 

This time,,, It wasn’t a dream. It was a dream come true.

♥♥♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this lame?


	7. Not mine to touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short-ish, and kind of just a filling piece before more things can start to happen. Little sexy and silly, but nothing much happens.

Sauli still doesn't understand how they ended up in his bedroom together. He somehow remembers that Adam came in to his bedroom in the middle of the night.

Maybe he sleepwalked or just wanted to join him. But he didn't say a word when he came so he probably wasn't fully awake.

So no, they didn't have sex. Or do anything else either.

It was Saturday morning and Sauli was staring at Adam's sleeping form, but was interrupted when Fluffie came to sniff his face.

He wasn't being impatient so he probably doesn't need to go outside right now.

Fluffie turned towards Adam, but Sauli gently pushed him aside before he could sniff or lick his face and wake him up.

"No. Let him sleep" Sauli said quietly and continued looking at Adam. His sleep mussed hair, open mouth and peaceful face.

He listened his soft, quiet snoring.

Sauli smiled and brushed his fingers through Adam's fringe. The touch made Adam's eyelids twitch like he was close to waking up.

Sauli traced his fingers down Adam's face and over his freckly lips. He followed the lines of them with his forefinger with the lightest touch.

Adam's lips twitched to a small smile.

To Sauli, the temptation was almost too much to deny. He wanted to kiss them so bad.

But they are not even together yet.

Sauli got up from the bed, careful not to jostle it too much or he'd wake Adam.

He grabbed his sweats and T-shirt from the floor and made his way out of the bedroom, gingerly closing the door after. 

He tapped his thigh to tell Fluffie to follow him out of the room before he closed it fully.

"Should I take you out first?"

Fluffie barked.

"Okay" Sauli chuckled and pulled on his sweatpants.

If Adam wakes up while he's out he probably realizes that Fluffie is gone too so they went for a morning walk.

But before leaving, Sauli put on the coffee master and wrote a note on the table that he's out with Fluffie and will be back soon. And that Adam can eat whatever he wants from the fridge.

Sauli left the house, careful not to close the door too loudly.

But it was loud enough to wake Adam.

He didn't startle exactly, vice versa. He woke up slowly and peacefully, the soumd just woke him up.

But his eyes widened as soon as he realized he wasn't in the familiar guest room.

He was in a room that was apparently Sauli's bedroom, and he was lying on his king-sized bed.

"Oh fuck..." He cursed quietly and glanced around himself, seeing Sauli wasn't in the same room. 

Adam didn't feel bad about his night time wondering.

He rolled over to Sauli's side of the bed and curiosity hit him in the guts when he saw hand lotion on the night stand.

And... his picture.

"The fuck..." he muttered under his breath, confused, and moved the tube, noticing a picture from the photoshoot.

_That_ photoshoot.

Adam giggled and blushed. He did not expect to see that.

But who he is to judge? He printed out a photo of Sauli from Fault magazine and had his moments with it.

Adam got out of the bed and tiptoed back to the guestroom to dress up. All of his stuff was there.

He went to grab them from Danielle's apartment yesterday. She told him her deepest apologies.

They're still friends though, obviously. Adam can’t be mad at her, he doesn't even want to. He’s glad that Sauli allows him to stay in his house for now.

Adam put on his sweatpants and T-shirt, not bothering to put on anything special since he was going to be inside the whole day.

Adam checked his phone and noticed a call from his mother.

He sighed and let it be.

He made his way to the kitchen and saw Sauli’s note on the table. Okay, then, he will have some breakfast.

Adam opened the fridge and saw lot of vegetables, water, and some juice. Some jalapeno sauce too. So it makes him horny…

Ha, Sauli has a bar of dark chocolate in his fridge.

Adam couldn’t resist it. It’s been so long since the last time he had some.

Adam grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured himself some coffee, sat at the table in the dining room and enjoyed the mix of coffee and dark chocolate on his tongue. He loves chocolate with the taste of mocca so this combination must do now.

He heard a key was inserted into a lock. Sauli came back sooner than he thought.

Sauli came into the dining room and smiled when he saw that Adam was awake and was eating his chocolate.

“Morning” Adam beamed.

“G’ morning. So you decided to have a very filling breakfast?” Sauli asked and sat across him.

“Couldn’t resist”

Sauli chuckled and shook his head.

“It’s okay. What are your plans for today?”

Adam looked at him, one eyebrow raised high.

“My plans? Like I had lot to do. Just gonna stay inside”

“No, you won’t. I want to take you out” Sauli said, his voice firm like it was a command rather than a suggestion, and Adam could not turn it down.

But,,, on a date or…?

“I don’t…”

“You will. I could take you to a restaurant but I feel like I want to be just with you. I know a perfect place for a picnic” Sauli smiled and got up from the chair, walking behind Adam and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, “Do you accept the invitation?”

Adam smiled and held on to Sauli’s arms, nodding.

“Good” Sauli smiled happily and turned Adam’s head by his chin and leaned close to press a kiss on his wet lips.

Adam was surprised but in a good way. Sauli is really sweet with him, not forcing himself on him but actually listening what Adam has to say. Or reads his body language. 

Sauli pressed in with more force, savoring Adam's lips, sighing in bliss. 

“I’m gonna take a shower now” Sauli murmured against Adam's lips when he had pulled away. He always showers before breakfast.

At least on weekends.

“Okay” Adam smiled and watched him walk out of the dining room.

Yes, he tried not to look at his ass but it turned out to be impossible. Sauli’s ass looks toned even in those sweats. Perfectly perky.

Adam bit his lip. Whatever Sauli is doing is really making his ass look great.  
 

~♡~

 

Later the day Sauli indeed took Adam out on the Hills to have a private picnic.

The day was simply beautiful. It was warm and the sun was shining hotly above them.

And the look on Adam’s face was priceless.

He had just stopped chewing on the berry he had between his fingers;

"What?"

"What? You think I've been a boss all the time? I worked in different modeling agencies and yes, I was a masseur once. I got one course. I've been a make-up artist and a freelancer photographer. Cosmetologist too" Sauli explained and took a bite of his strawberry.

"You don't look like a masseur or cosmetologist" Adam declared, tossing the rest of the berry into his mouth and licked the running juices off his fingers. 

"Huh? Do you have some kind of stereotype? I am excellent with my hands" Sauli smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, ignoring the way Adam licked his fingers. 

Adam giggled and turned his head away, blushing. I bet you are, he thought inside his head and bit his lip.

"You want me to show you?" He heard Sauli ask him, and the voice was closer than a few seconds ago.

"I...."

Then just like that he was on his back on the grass, Sauli hovering above him.

"I rather show you at the agency some time though. I can give you a proper beauty treatment with my magical hands. Right now I'd like to just kiss you. Can I?"

"Yes" Adam smiled sheepishly. 

Sauli smiled as well and leaned in to press their mouths together, getting a small taste of Adam's well moisturized, glossy lips.

His lips were really soft, he has obviously taken good care of them. Sauli could kiss them for hours if he had the chance. 

Adam placed his hands on Sauli's waist and savored his mouth. It's so weird to have somebody kissing him with this much gentleness and time, not wet, strong kisses that leave Adam's whole chin wet with saliva.

Sauli is enjoying just the kissing. He doesn't need to rush into anything.

"My arms will get numb" Sauli chuckled and let himself down next to Adam, "Now, this is better. Come here" he whispered, pulling onto Adam's hip which he thought was enough to let Adam know what he wanted.

Adam shifted closer, turning a bit more on his tummy, and threw his leg over Sauli's hips. He locked their lips again, feeling Sauli's hand slowly creep up his thigh. 

The more eager the kissing was, the more awkward it turned out to be. 

Sauli snickered lovingly and slowly pulled away. Adam looked at him with a sheepish expression on his face, pink flush on his cheeks.

"Have you ever kissed anyone who doesn't want you to eat them alive?"

"No.... " Adam admitted and brushed the hair off his forehead, "I'm sorry I don't know better..." He mumbled with a pout and Sauli thought it was incredibly adorable.

Sauli smiled at him and stroked his cheek.

"You will know now" Sauli said and reached out to cup Adam's butt cheek and pulled him towards him, "Straddle me"

Adam placed his thighs on both sides of Sauli's hips and sat up, biting his lip at the feeling of Sauli's semi-hard dick against his ass.

Sauli pulled Adam down by his shoulders, his breath growning more uneven as the moving caused Adam's crotch to rub his cock.

“You don’t have to suck my face off. We’re not rushing into anything. Everything in time, ’ kay? Now just forget your stupid exes and do what feels good for you . Because that’s what I want too” Sauli said in a gentle tone and tangled his hand in Adam's hair.

Adam nodded, pressing their lips together.

Adam took his time now. He cupped Sauli’s face between his soft palms while Sauli ran his fingers through his hair, ruffling it and gently pulling on it.

The kiss started out slow and sweet, the sounds of kissing, sucking and licking, filled the quiet space around them. 

Sauli ran his fingers through Adam’s silky hair, and yanked on it in the heat of the moment. Adam hummed in bliss, curling his body against Sauli.

So he likes the hair ruffling.

Sauli dropped his hands from Adam’s hair to his shoulders, sliding them down the curve of his back and stopped right above his ass.

The soft sounds Adam let out made Sauli's dick so damn eager he was afraid that soon he won't be able to stop. 

Adam moved Sauli's hand lower and onto his ass. Sauli squeezed the firm cheek and couldn't resist grabbing his ass with both hands.

Then all of a sudden Sauli remembered something and he pulled away. 

"What did you dreamt of yesterday when you slept on the couch?"

Adam wasn't able to even move his head since Sauli’s hands were back up and he held on to his hair.

"Uhm...."

"You're cute when you blush. Now tell me" Sauli smirked and flipped them over, settling between Adam's spread legs. 

"It was nothing" Adam stuttered out and tried to keep his face poker. His lips were deliciously swollen due the kiss, to Sauli's mind, and his cheeks were flushed.

Sauli dropped his lips on Adam's ear and kissed his earlobe.

"You were turned on" He whispered and started to press kissed on his neck and jawbone until he reached Adam's mouth again, "So, tell me"

Adam swallowed hard and stared into Sauli's intense eyes.

"You were... Photographing me"

That was a very pleasing answer.

"Hm. Where?"

"I-in your house. I was... on the couch... in my briefs and T-shirt. You were talking to me while I-"

"You what?"

"Stroked myself…"

Sauli's breath hitched and he pressed his forehead against Adam's.

"Well that would be the jewel of all of my photoshoots" Sauli whispered and pressed their lips briefly together to get a brief taste, "I am willing to do that anytime"

Sauli pulled away and sat on the grass instead. If they’d continue this conversation they’d really be too horny to stop.

And that’s not how Sauli neither Adam wants things to go, at least not right now in the hills.

Adam got up as well and gulped down the wine from his glass. He needed it after the reveal he just made.

"Are you even 18 yet?" Sauli teased and filled his glass again.

"Shut up"

Sauli chuckled and put the bottle aside after he filled his own glass too.

He picked up a strawberry from the cup and brought it on Adam's lips.

"Bite"

Adam bit the head of it off and Sauli took the rest of it into his mouth.

"This is so cliché" Adam chuckled and shook his head.

"I show you what is cliché" Sauli said with a playful growl and sat on Adam’s lap, his thighs on both sides of his hips.   
Adam leaned back and supported his body with his arms and looked at Sauli.

“Hi” Sauli beamed.

“Hey” Adam chuckled.

Sauli petted Adam’s hair and couldn’t stop smiling at him. He was so gorgeous in every meaning of the word.

Adam looked back at him but Sauli was staring at him so intensively he just had to turn his eyes away.

“I still haven’t noticed any flaws” Sauli declared, suddenly serious and placed his hands under Adam’s jaw to make him look at him, “I mean it”

“You just don’t know… “ Adam snapped, shaking his head and pushed Sauli’s hands off.

Sauli tried to read him, understand him somehow but he couldn’t. 

“You’re right, I don’t” Sauli gently said, not giving in and once again lift Adam’s head up, “But one thing I know for sure”

Adam looked at him with a sad frown, already feeling bad for snapping at Sauli without any proper reason.

“I know what I see. My eyes don’t lie”

 

::♡::

 

Sauli didn't mean to lurk and be a total creep. He just happened to see the way Adam lay on the couch in the evening.

His other leg was up on the back rest and his hand was above his head.

He was focused on the show on TV.

Sauli snapped a picture of that scene, forgetting to turn off the flash which finally caught Adam's attention.

"SAULI!"

"THE FLASH WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ON!" Sauli loudly squeaked and turned it off like it helped anymore.

"Do I dare to do anything here since you always have that camera with you?" Adam asked and crossed his arms.

Sauli playfully thought about it.

"No. I have cameras everywhere. I even saw you jerk off in my shower minutes ago"

Adam's face went red and his mouth dropped open.

"Wha... How? I was just-"

Sauli looked back at him, mouth gaping open just as wide as Adam's. Well damn, he had jerked off in the shower after all.

"I was joking! But apparently you did do it"

Adam tried to get something out of his mouth but the words were caught somewhere in his throat.

Sauli's joke hit right into him.

Sauli started cackling at Adam's horrified facial expression. It looked like it was the world's end to him. 

"Adam! Everybody does that! You just happened to be in my house" he said and walked to the couch, sitting between Adam's legs and looked him through the camera lenses, "Can I tell you a secret?"

Adam nodded. 

"I jerk off to your pictures every night"

"I know. I saw my pics on your nightstand" Adam revealed and nudged Sauli on his chest with his bare toes.

Sauli beamed, putting his camera on the floor and grabbed Adam's foot instead. He kissed the side of Adam's big toe.

"And see? I'm not embarrassed at all" He said and examined Adam's done toenails, "You have cute toes" he declared and looked at the black nail polish on them.

Adam giggled;

"Name one body part of me you don't find cute or sexy"

Sauli hummed.

"Only the ones I haven't seen" He murmured and traced a finger across Adam's waistband teasingly, "But I'm sure they are very sexy too"

A part of Adam kind of wanted to give in to the lust. But he can’t explain the story of his wounds to him.

He’s not ready for it. He’s ashamed of it.

"What do you say if we made that dream of yours become reality?" Sauli asked and picked up his camera from the floor and looked at Adam through it.

It was weird since he was this close now.

"You can show me what you did in your dream" Sauli whispered and sat on the armrest of the couch to get a little better view.

"I wasn't actually lying down but this can do" Adam said and dropped his hand on his inner thigh, close to his groin, "And I had tighter pants on first, but this is how I was when you woke me up" Adam slid off his sweatpants and threw them on the floor.

Sauli's eyes dropped to the exposed, tight pair of white/black striped briefs. 

"Well aren't you well-endowed" Sauli said in awe and snapped a photo of Adam.

Adam smirked. Sauli's reaction was exactly the same as it was in his dream.

And Adam wasn't even hard, all flaccid but his package was still pretty impressive. He put his hand on his crotch and rubbed it in gentle circles, eyes fixated on Sauli's camera.

Sauli swallowed loudly and his camera flashed again. He imagined he could see Adam slowly grow harder under the stimulation.

Adam placed his thumb on the other side of his cock and rest of his fingers on the other, leaving no room for doubts of his size as he moved his hand over the lump, making the outer lines clear.

"Fuck, Adam..." Sauli groaned, finding it difficult to rip his eyes off the bulge.

Adam was so awed by the way Sauli pronounced his name. It was thicker than normally and kind of exotic…

Almsot erotic to him. 

It made his cock twitch. Sauli noticed it very well and he bit his lip.

Adam dipped his fingers under the elastics of his briefs and pulled them down just enough to reveal more of his hipbones and the trail of fair hair that goes down his stomach and into his pants.

Adam was aware of his shirt though, not letting it reveal his scarred abdomen.

Adam noticed Sauli's hopeful stare.

"Don't think I will show it to you..." He teased and pushed his hand inside of his briefs, "But I'd be happy to treat it the way you want me to"

Sauli took the challenge.

"Tease" He declared and briefly brought his foot between Adam's legs to feel him touch himself, but pulled it away when Adam raised his eyebrow at him.

"Describe me what you feel. What do you think and what do want" Sauli whispered in a husky voice, dropping his hand on top of his thigh.

"I'm thinking of you"

Sauli almost dropped his camera.

Adam smiled and closed his eyes, rubbing the tip of his cock where the pre-cum had already pooled.

"You're touching me... More specifically, my dick. Your hand feels amazing"

Where is this confidence oozing from? However, Sauli likes it a lot.

Adam opened his eyes and locked his eyes with Sauli who wasn't holding the camera up anymore.

He put it on the floor instead and took Adam's free hand in his, then pulled his other hand out from his pants too.

Sauli could feel Adam's finger tips were a little moist and it made his own cock twitch in curiosity. His dick told him to taste it, but he didn’t want to do it.

Not yet. Adam might find it creepy. 

He wrapped his fingers around Adam's hands and pushed them above his head as he lowered himself on top of Adam's body, between his spread legs.

They breathed against each other's faces. Adam was hard against Sauli’s stomach, and Sauli wanted so bad to either sink down to suck Adam off or at least give him a hand job.

"It's not about the camera anymore... If people in the agency knew that I have a thing with you I would be dead. I'm not allowed to touch my models. But I literally can't keep my hands off of you. I've kissed you and held you, but I need more of you"

Adam looked at him in the eyes and breathed heavy.

"What's more?"

"You, Adam. I don't want to just touch you, I wanna be with you. I want you to be mine" Sauli whispered and nuzzled Adam's face, "Only then I can throw myself completely in to this and give in to the sensations and lust"

Sauli kissed Adam briefly on the lips and continued;

"Will you be mine? Would you like to date me?"

Adam didn't reply, just wiggled his hands free from Sauli's grip and cupped his face, kissing him passionately.

To Sauli, it was a positive answer but he wanted Adam to say it out loud as well.

Adam felt Sauli's hand slide under his shirt to touch his skin, and Adam immediately gripped his wrist tightly and flinched in the kiss.

"Stop" he said, his tone suddenly completely different and Sauli could hear the crack in his voice, "I can't do this..."

Sauli pulled away in a second and watched as Adam covered his face with his hands.

“Hey… What’s wrong? Did I do something?” He asked softly and gently, brushing his hand over Adam’s thigh.

Adam shook his head, revealing his face and gently pushed Sauli off his lap.

“Just… I’m sorry” He said and grabbed his sweats, pulled them on and tried to leave, but Sauli caught him by the hand.

“Baby please… Tell me”

♥♥♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for the next chap. I try not to disappoint you with this.


	8. Begin again

Adam looked at Sauli's worried eyes and shook his head. To Sauli's mind Adam's face looked like he just saw a ghost.

Like he had just faced his fears.

"'s nothing" He said calmly, "I just don't want to..."

Sauli pulled him back on the couch and sat right next to him, their bodies connected from hip to toe. Sauli stroked his back soothingly and nuzzled his cheek.

"You don't want what?"

Adam sighed, but before he could say a word, Sauli did.

"If you have somebody else in your mind I understand and I..."

"No. Just no" Adam said until Sauli could go any further with his non-sense, "It’s not that. It's just that I'm not as confident as I look. Just don't... "

"You don't want to have sex, right?" Sauli finished for him. 

"It's ridiculous, right?" Adam chuckled although it was not funny at all. 

"No" Sauli said immediately, and kissed the top of Adam's shoulder through his shirt, "It's not. It might be unusual for a boy your age but it doesn't mean it's ridiculous" he explained, and raised his hand up to rub the back of Adam's neck. 

Adam nodded. 

"Whatever the reason is,,, It doesn't matter. A no is a no" 

"You still want me to date you?" Adam asked, nervous and fidgeting. It was all so unnecessary in Sauli's eyes.

"Yes" He said and grabbed Adam's hand gently in his smaller one and kissed his cheek, "Sex is not all I want from you. Just let me know when you're ready" 

Adam nodded with a smile, turning his head enough to look at Sauli. 

"We can still fool around a bit..." 

"Really?" Sauli grinned and sat on Adam's lap, "What does that mean?"

Adam pulled Sauli closer to him and breathed against his face, his cock still partly hard against Sauli's ass.

"Kissing, touching, stroking... " Adam said and took a tight grip of Sauli's body and flipped them into a laying position on the couch, straddling him, "I just really hate my body... Don't touch me underneath my shirt, okay?"

"I promise"

Sauli stroked Adam's back all over when they lost themselves into the heat of lust, kissing with loud smacks of lips. He wanted to slide his hands underneath Adam's shirt and feel his hot skin, but if Adam says no, it's a no.

Sauli would never do him wrong. He would never do something against his will even though he can't really understand what's the big deal.

He could never hurt Adam. 

Adam was humping against Sauli almost subconsciously which Sauli found totally hot. Those little moans he made were sounds from heaven.

... That was until Sauli's phone rang.

"Fuck..." He cursed and Adam moved down to kiss his neck.

"Don't answer it" Adam whispered against his skin and tried to disturb Sauli from answering the phone.

Sauli groaned and pulled on Adam's hair to stop him. Not too roughly but enough to make him stop.

"I have to" Sauli said and pulled his phone out of his pocket, "It can be important"

But when he saw it was Ashley D. calling, he muted it and put it on the floor. She will call again if it's something really important. Or texts him.

"How many Ashleys you know?"

"Many" Sauli chuckled, "My assistant Ashley D, our photographer Ashley who has taken most of my pictures, and I know a few models that are Ashleys too”

Adam smiled and returned to kiss Sauli's swollen lips. Sauli can tell him about his friends and co-workers later.

“You have tattoo on your neck. How I haven’t noticed?” Adam chuckled as he shortly pulled away to glance at Sauli’s neck.

Sauli wiggled his eyebrows at him.

“I do have other tattoos too”

Adam’s eyes darkened a little more.

“Where?” he asked.

Sauli pulled Adam’s head down and whispered into his ear;

“Hide”

Adam shivered. He wants to find out where, maybe not exactly now on this very minute but some day.

Adam took Sauli's other hand and pushed it down on top of his ass.

Sauli breathed in a shuddering breath and started sliding his both hands instead of one on Adam's round ass. He felt his firm but still soft buttocks all over.

"This is okay?"

Adam hummed as yes against his lips.

"I like it"

"Perfect" Sauli grinned and got back into the kiss, squeezing the plump bottom in his hands.

Adam giggled and slid his other hand under Sauli's thin shirt, feeling his hard abs against his palm.

It's amazing to touch it. He has only seen it in photos. But now he’s actually feeling it with his very own hands.

He felt Sauli run a fingertip between his butt cheeks. The fabric of his sweats was so loose he could do it easily and it actually felt kind of nice. 

Sauli's mind was racing. If only he could run his finger down the bare crack and feel Adam's hot, twitching hole under his touch. 

Fuck. Sauli grasped Adam's ass and pulled him as close as it was physically possible. Adam gasped softly, the sound the sweetest Sauli has ever heard and it set him on fire.

He truly was lusting for Adam.

"Someone is definitely licking my feet" Adam declared then and chuckled.

Sauli pushed Fluffie down from the couch with his foot, carefully, of course.

"He's just jealous of me" Sauli giggled.

"So he's gonna eat me if I appear threatening?"

"I don't think so. He likes you too" Sauli said while looking at the furball lovingly, "Don't you?"

Fluffie barked.

"Now go on. I take you out soon" Sauli babbled and scratched Fluffie's ear and tapped him on the butt, "Go"

After he strutted out of the living room and to the kitchen, Sauli returned his hands on Adam's bum.

"How soon is soon?" Adam asked, smirking.

Sauli nipped on his bottom lip and smiled.

"Depends on you. If you wanna finish this" Sauli said and pushed their crotches together, his cock twitching when he felt Adam’s bulge against him, “Or then we can have blue balls”

Adam inhaled and cupped Sauli's face.

“I’m a little nervous” He admitted and looked sheepishly into Sauli’s eyes.

Sauli smiled gently and pushed Adam off his body, sitting up himself too.

“It’s okay to be” he whispered and stroked Adam’s cheek.

Adam nuzzled onto the gentle touch. Nobody has ever been so thoughtful with him like Sauli is. That alone makes him want to go further with him.

He looked into Sauli’s eyes when he whispered;

“You can touch me..."

Sauli’s mind was running wild.

“Where?”

Adam swallowed and spread his legs. Prettily, not too porny, but Sauli got the message.

He put his hand on Adam’s chest and leaned in to kiss his trembling lips.

Slowly he began to slide his hand down Adam’s body, stopping at his waistband to give Adam a possibility to forbid.

Adam didn’t. Instead he took Sauli’s hand and firmly pressed it on his crotch. 

Sauli couldn’t help a small smile. He made Adam this way. He makes him this aroused.

Sauli rubbed him in gentle circles and pulled away from the kiss, wanting to look how Adam’s eyes closed and his mouth fell slightly open.

His own cock wanted attention too but he can wait now.

Quietly, Adam moaned.

Sauli smiled again and leaned in to kiss Adam’s neck. It always takes time to find your new partner’s erogenous zones, but he definitely wants to know Adam’s.

He started to kiss his jaw all the way to his ear, seeking for any reaction that could tell he liked it a little more.

He kissed his ear, then went back down to his neck and met a space above his collarbone. That’s when he heard Adam gasp and he bent his head automatically backwards.

Gotcha.

Sauli kept kissing and sucking on that spot, moving his hand underneath Adam’s sweats, but above his underpants.

“You can always tell me to stop” Sauli whispered when he cupped Adam’s hard cock.

Adam shook his head.

“No way, not now... I'm already so close" He shuddered. 

It was soon and it was because of Sauli. He’s good. Also, Adam is only 18 so it’s not really a wonder he gets there easily and a little faster.

Sauli tried to swallow his pride for making Adam so close to the edge this fast.

“Tease the head…” Adam panted and thrust his hips against Sauli’s palm.

Sauli found the head of Adam’s cock and carefully rubbed it through the thin cotton.

Adam moaned. A little louder this time.

Sauli felt him twitch and harden even more. It didn’t take more than five seconds until he felt his palm get wet and an angelic sound of pleasure filled his ears, as the wetness spread beneath his hand.

It was the most arousing, most beautiful sound ever made.

Adam was in euphoria, panting and slowly coming down. Sauli in other hand felt so damn proud for making Adam cum like this. No skin on skin. 

He pulled his hand out of Adam’s pants and placed it on his thigh. Adam will wash his pants anyway so stains are okay.

When Adam came down from his orgasm, he gave a small, sheepish smile to Sauli. The cum was already cooling in his briefs and it felt simply dirty.

“I feel a little nasty…”

Sauli smiled.

“Don’t” He said, taking Adam’s hand, “My turn now?”

   
~♥~

 

The Sunday was pretty much the same as Saturday, except Adam went to see Danielle while Sauli visited a runaway show Sunny Starts had set to amateurs who wanted to be a part of the new project.

Sauli had seen his co-workers give looks to him.

Especially Ashley, the D one, who sat next to him when they watched the show. How on Earth do they know?

"So.... Having fun with our newest model?" She smirked and nudged him on the side with her elbow.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Sauli said casually, eyes on the next girl and boy who walked on the runaway.

Ashley took pictures of them but didn't forget to keep smirking.

"Okay. I almost believe you" She said and put her camera down after taking a few proper shots.

Sauli huffed and wrote the models' special features and strengths on his notebook.

"I see you blush" Ashley beamed, "Honestly. I'm not the one to forbid you. Just don't scare him away. He's really good"

Sauli stopped writing and frowned.

"Why or how would I scare him away?"

Ashley shrugged.

"He seems a little fragile"

Sauli got back on writing and nodded a smile to the next two models who stepped on the runway.

"He is. But I would never use him wrong. The pics I took of him will stay in my drawer" He said casually, not thinking much of what he said.

Sauli noticed that Ashley stopped taking the pics and was now looking at him with her piercing eyes.

"I mean....!"

"You. Took what kind of pictures of him?" Ashley asked. Adam is damn good looking and just thinking about the possibilities made her blush which doesn't usually happen.

Sauli sighed and pointed at the model pairing.

"Focus. On the show. These two look very nice"

"Nothing like Adam though" Ashley said casually and started to take pictures again. Sauli's eyes widened and he dropped his pen.

"You, my friend, are a genius!" He said and turned towards Ashley, "Adam will be the one!"

"I can't cancel this show now!" She squeaked and looked at him like he was crazy. Not for suggesting Adam, but for suggesting him this late.

"We see these through. Then we just tell them personally that they won't get a part" Sauli said, picking up his pen from the floor.

Adam is perfect for this. How I didn't realize, Sauli wondered and gave his notebook to Ashley.

"I go to talk to Adam. If he says yes, we need 3 other male models. Also 4 females. Pick your favorites" He said to her while she struggled to keep all the stuff on her lap, including the notebook, her camera and list of the candidates.

"Sauli! How can I know?"

"Of course you know! Female height at least 5'9" and male at least 5'11", but there can be exceptions. You know these things"

"Well yeah but what is considered as 'Exceptions'?" Ashley groaned and stared at his boss.

"Well for example petite, but amazing face. Or vice versa. You know I give possibilities. I go now, I trust in you" Sauli beamed and got up from the chair he was sitting on, fumbling his way out.

When he managed to get out of the building and to the parking lot, he pulled out his phone, intention to call to Adam but he noticed Adam stand in front of his car already.

"You are back early" Sauli said to him and pecked him on the lips.

"Dani has always been quick with coffee" Adam smiled and pulled Sauli closer by his hips, “She was squealing all the time when she saw my hickeys. She says it’s surreal to see me with you since she’s been your fan for so long”

Sauli giggled.

“She better get used to it because I’m not going to stay away from you” He said, throwing his arms over Adam's shoulders.

Adam pressed their foreheads together.

“I don’t even want you to. But no hickeys,,, I don't want to see her freak out again” he chuckled.

“I got a little lost in the moment" Sauli said, "But people seemed to know about us anyway”

Adam kissed Sauli’s forehead.

“Are you in trouble?”

“No. At least not yet”

Adam smiled and noticed Sauli looked at him oddly.

"What?" He chuckled.

Sauli smirked and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, pulling on that seductive face and started those seductive moves.

He brought their mouths together and kissed Adam's lips, briefly.

"I kind of thought", kiss, "that would you", kiss, "be a part of a runway show?" Longer kiss.

Adam pulled away on that very second and placed his hands on Sauli's chest, gently pushing him further away so he could stop him talking this nonsense. 

Sauli beamed at him.

"Pleaaaase. I can teach you to walk and I promise to be in the front row supporting you!"

Adam squinted his eyes at him.

"I BEG YOU. You'd be wearing a design shirt, leather pants and the jacket will be different every time you step on the runaway. And the pants might also change. Pleaaase" Sauli begged and hugged Adam's bigger body, "I can blow you every day"

Adam laughed and hugged him back.

"When you'll blow me, I want it to be because you and I wanted it. Not as a way to persuade me into something" 

Sauli's cock twitched and he looked up. Adam said when. So he will eventually get to blow him. 

"And when I will blow you, I will do it because I really like you" Sauli smiled and stroked Adam's side, "But will you take a part?" He asked and gently poked Adam on his side.

Adam groaned and lift Sauli on the bonnet of the car, leaning close to his face. His own face felt hot due to the open blow job talk and he's sure Sauli noticed it. 

"I really hate you" Adam murmured.

Sauli wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and smiled wide.

"You really like me. So?"

Adam sighed and nodded, pinching Sauli's arm.

"Okay. But in one condition"

"Anything"

"Let's go to your place and start practicing _now_!" Adam said in panic, making Sauli laugh. He got down from the bonnet and gently slapped Adam's ass.

"Move it then" He smirked and unlocked the doors of his car.

“Don’t boss me around” Adam muttered playfully when they sat in the car.

Sauli just smirked.

   
~♥~  
 

Sauli in high heels. Adam tried to focus on his advice and talking rather than on that image. Not on how his ass would look if he wore them again.

On top of that, Adam was wearing heels right now.

"Heels helped me to learn to walk on the runway. You won't be wearing heels on the runway but this might help you now" Sauli said while he was crouched down before Adam, lacing the heeled boots. 

Adam felt his forehead brush against his crotch with the slightest movements.

"Since you're down there..."

"Shut up, Adam or I might actually do it" Sauli said with a smug face and finished lacing the shoe, "Don't give me any ideas"

Adam chuckled and thrust his hips towards Sauli's face. Sauli held on to his thighs, stopping him from moving. As much as he's tempted to unzip Adam's pants and suck him off, they have other things to do now.

"Behave yourself" Sauli smirked, "You have to walk on a runway tomorrow so we need to practice a little"

"Okay" Adam pouted, but knew that Sauli is right. He doesn't wanna fall in front of everybody. He rather walks properly to make Sauli proud of him.

It's about his agency after all.

Sauli stood up and playfully poked Adam on the stomach,

"Now walk"

Adam grunted a little at the sting it caused in his wounds, but Sauli didn't pay much attention. Adam straightened his back because he knew that's what Sauli wanted by poking him in the guts. 

"Good. I'm not usually a runway model because I'm shortish but I know what to do" Sauli said, "Now look at me"

Adam watched as he started walking the 'catwalk', meaning to the other end of the big living room.

Sauli's ass swings nicely. His shoulders look good. 

Focus, Adam reminded himself.

"Like... strut. Be confident" Sauli explained as he made a pose and started walking back towards Adam, "You are the sexiest motherfucker on Earth during that moment. You need to believe in that so you can boost your confidence from it"

Adam huffed.

“It's hard to see myself that way...”

“I’m gonna pound that thought into your stubborn head if that’s what it takes” Sauli said and stepped in front of Adam.

“How would you do that?”

“First you need to show me how you walk”

Adam sighed.

“Can I still cancel?”

“No” Sauli firmly said and crouched down, tugging Adam’s feet wider apart and tried not to push his forehead against his crotch bulge.

But he couldn’t help it. It looked so nice so upclose, no one could resist that. Sauli kissed the fabric before him and innocently glanced up at Adam.

“Do it once more and I swear you need to keep that promise you gave me”

Sauli grinned and hugged Adam’s lower body, nuzzling his lower tummy.

“Sorry” he beamed, “Now walk”  
 

~♥~

 

Adam was staring at the other models backstage thinking how can he be here with them. They all look so gorgeous. All fit and tall and pretty and ugh.

All the males and the females.

"Sauli, I feel sick" he said and turned towards him. Sauli gave him an understanding smile.

"The queasiness disappears after you walk on that runway. Just remember what we talked about and you'll be fine" Sauli soothed him, wanting to kiss him so bad but couldn't under everybody's eyes. Instead he started to straighten Adam's tie, "I trust in you with this. This is a huge thing for me"

Adam flinched;

"So no pressure"

Sauli chuckled.

"All these models are new. You're the last one who I think can screw up this thing"

Adam sighed and bent down, holding on to his knees.

"Relax. It'll be fine for sure" Sauli said and stroked his back, "And I'm not going to get mad even if something doesn't go according to plan. It's my choice to do this with new models"

Adam straightened up and nodded, exhaling.

"Okay"

He still wasn't ready. His stomach jumped when Sauli asked everybody;

"You guys ready?"

"Yeah" came the answer from models', make-up artists and the ones who help to change the clothes between the runs.

Sauli turned to Adm.

"You ready?"

"No" Adam squeezed out and held his stomach.

"You kind of need to be" Sauli smiled, "It'll be fine. I go to the audience now and leave you in the hands of others. Tommy and Brooke will guide you all the time"

Adam nodded.

"Good luck" Sauli whispered, looking around to make sure nobody pays attention, then pecked Adam on the cheek.

It gave a little bit of the needed encouragement.

Sauli left the backstage and informed the host that everything was ready. She watched as Sauli went on his seat at the side of catwalk, then stepped on the stage to start the show.

Sauli was just as nervous Adam.

"Adam's the first one" Ashley told him and pointed his name on her paper, "Dragon jacket"

"Oh god. Why did you put him first?" Sauli asked, hands on both sides of his face in horror. He can only image what goes through Adam's mind now.

"I didn't! This was given to me by Tommy"

Sauli sighed. Poor Adam must be double nervous now when he's first.

"Look" Ashley said, nudging him on his side, "There he is"

Sauli's head perked up. Adam was wearing the red Dragon jacket, leather pants and boots.

"Go, baby, strut" Sauli murmured to himself, tapping his foot against the floor nervously.

Adam glanced around himself, seeing lot of crowd staring at him. He felt like his feet were stuck on the ground and he felt light-headed.

But when he music got louder, he automatically started walking.

Sauli sagged on his seat. Adam was walking, no, strutting perfectly. He had a good eye contact with the back wall, keeping his head up. His hips swayed just enough.

Ashley ran to photograph Adam when he was posing at the end of the runway. Sauli had told Adam to give only a few poses, it's the problem of photographers if they are not ready to take pictures.

Adam did exactly that, then started walking back.

He dared to move his eyes enough to glance at Sauli who was grinning at him, his thumbs up.

Adam felt relieved after he left the runway.

"God Damn Sauli" Ashley giggled when she came back on her seat, "You've found a piece of gold"

Sauli smiled.

"I know" He said.

The next model who walked was the female who is the one that walks with Adam on the last number. Sauli picked her because her walk was good and her features were unique.

"I will be very mad if you don't allow me to take pictures of him" Ashley said, "I'm new with photographing and yes the other Ashley and Lee and everyone is better than me"

Sauli wrapped his arm around her and chuckled.

"It's Adam's choice. He doesn't trust people"

Ashley sighed.

"I will let you know if he allows you to. But right now I just want him to trust in me" Sauli said and let go of his friend.

Ashley glanced at him and smirked.

"Trust in you in what exactly?"

"Shut up. In photographing, of course" Sauli said like it was obvious. What else it would be?

"Okay. Maybe you'll get to photograph him naked some day" Ashley said casually, attention on the model on the runway.

"Ashley, shut up" Sauli hissed, glancing around himself to make sure no one heard her, "I don't do that" he added, blushing. Although that thought sounds kind of fascinating… Adam naked on the bed. No make-up, no clothes, just his natural beauty.

Ashley laughed.

"Okay. I _really_ believe in you now when I saw your face" She said sarcastically and checked her papers again, "Adam's second walk is next"

Sauli glanced over at the beginning of the runway and saw Adam in different clothing this time.

He had a spiked leather jacket on, a new design shirt as before and tight black jeans instead of leather pants.

Sauli's breath hitched just a little at the sight. 

Adam started walking, and he stripped off his jacket while walking, near the end of the runway, and threw it over his shoulder. 

His legs looked so gorgeous, long and lean, and his eyes were intense. He looked like he was made for this.

Made to be in front of people. The people who don't judge him by his personal life but what he does. 

The warm feeling it gave Sauli made him place his hand over his leaping heart.

It was once again that feeling...

 

~♡~

 

After the show, Sauli got up from his seat right away and made his way to the backstage in a rush.

Not to be blunt or rude, he of course congratulated other models too and told them they did great, but one particular 'model' was in his mind anyway.

"Where did Adam go?" He asked Tommy who was unbuttoning the long jacket one model wore.

"To the dressing room. Said he wanted to undress alone and in peace" Tommy told him.

"Okay, thanks" Sauli said and tapped Tommy on the shoulder.

He walked through the hallway to the dressing rooms and stepped into the room with Adam's name tag on it.

"That went so well, baby" he said right after he stepped in, enthusiastic about the show that went so well and about _Adam_. In the haze of bliss, a startled yelp scared him.

Sauli looked at Adam who now stood before him shirtless and frozen in place. Sauli couldn't help but notice all the scars on his stomach. 

Something in Sauli's heart flipped.

"Adam... what...?"

"No, don't. Please, don't look at me" Adam said and crossed his arms over his chest, feeling a big urge to hide from him.

The words were caught in Sauli's throat.

Adam grabbed his jacket and quickly put it on, making his way out of the room, passing Sauli at the door.

"No, Adam... Don't go, let's talk" He said,

But Adam was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for typos and stuff!  
> Next part up... next weekend?


	9. Underneath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaay... This chap contains tears and lot of them. And also... Sexual tension and .. stuff. Sorry for the delay, I had to much school things to do on weekend. 
> 
> Anyway,,, I'm going to take a cold shower now...

Sauli crossed his arms when he stepped on the cold, windy roof. The wind blew his hair all over the place but Sauli couldn't care less since his attention was on Adam who sat on the edge of the roof, his feet hanging over.

Sauli knew he'd be there. He just knew. And to be honest, it was ripping his heart apart to see him there all alone, sitting on the edge like that. 

Sauli shook his own dark memories out of his head and focused on Adam. He imagined he could hear quiet sobs coming from his direction. Or maybe they were sniffs caused by the cold weather.

"Adam...?"

"Go away" Adam choked out and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, "I don't wanna hear it"

Sauli frowned and walked closer to Adam.

"Hear what?"

"You're gonna fire me now that you know how hideous I look. Maybe you're also going to dumb me" Adam said quietly and hung his head in defeat.

Sauli walked right behind him and touched his shoulder.

"Honey... Why would I do ever that?" He asked as he sat down next to Adam. Adam shrugged and glanced at the sky with his teary and puffy eyes. His eyeliner and mascara was running down his pale cheeks.

So he has been crying after all.

Sauli opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He put his hand on top of Adam’s and tried again;

"I won't do either of them. First of all it was rude of me to just storm in without knocking first. Second of all, I would have found out sooner or later consideting we are dating"

Adam still didn't say, just stared at his lap. Sauli tried to look at him in the eyes, but Adam avoided the contact by always turning his head to the other side.

Sauli squeezed his cold hand.

"Baby... Tell me who did this to you?" He carefully asked, "Who drove you into this?"

A sob escaped from Adam's throat as he shook his head. He's not ready to talk about it with anyone, not even Sauli.

Not yet.

Sauli wrapped both of arms around Adam's shivering body and hugged him tightly.

"Poor sweetheart, it's okay, it'll be alright. We don't have to talk about it now"

Sauli squeezed Adam's figure and leaned close to kiss his cold cheek. He didn't know what else to say or do but Adam was happy about the contact anyway. 

Sauli's reaction was the complete opposite of what he had thought of. Now that he thinks of it, he doesn't understand how he thought Sauli would get mad or anything like that.

If it was a reversed situation, Adam would offer Sauli all of his support.

"I was so sure that you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore"

Sauli turned Adam's face by his chin and looked at him.

"I don't think there will ever be a day when I don't want to have you in my life"

Adam eyes were glassy with tears when he looked at Sauli and his gentle, understanding face.

He blinked, shedding a few tears which Sauli caught with his thumbs.

"I will never leave you alone” He said and kissed Adam’s forehead, “Others may have done that but I won't do it" he whispered and pressed Adam's head against his chest.

He just held him there for a while, offering Adam a sense of security and a shelter from the world.

Adam deserves it. He also needs it even though he doesn’t want to admit it out loud.

Adam listened to Sauli’s steady heartbeat and clung onto him.

"You know I used to come here too when I was upset?" Sauli asked, which made Adam look up at him.

"You did?"

"Yes. Every time" Sauli smiled, "I sat exactly here, wondering what I am living for. And it pains me to see you here now"

Adam nodded, knowing the feeling. He pressed his head on Sauli's shoulder and let Sauli soothe him.

"I'm not planning a suicide" Adam stated, imagining he could feel Sauli sag a little in relief beside him. Did he really think that's why he is here?

"Thank God you don't. But I don't understand why you are so afraid. You could've told me anytime" Sauli whispered.

Adam sniffed again and shook his head.

"I couldn't... I just couldn't... I still can't... "

Sauli turned his head to nuzzle Adam's neck gently. Telling things is not always easy if they make you feel embarrassed or humiliated.

They make you feel defeated or pathetic.

Weak.

Sauli sure knows that feeling too, so he understands Adam as well as possible. 

"It's alright" Sauli murmured in a gentle tone, and moved to sit further away from the edge of the building, pulling Adam with him. The high edge creeps him out.

Sauli faced Adam and wiped away his tears, the dark make-up smudging on his cheeks even more.

"Don't cry, I'm with you now. Like I said I'm not going to leave you alone" He whispered, cupping Adam's face in his hands, "You hear me, Adam? Ever"

"You can't leave me alone..." Adam sobbed and Sauli wiped off all the tears that fell when he spoke, "Please, don't leave me"

"I would never"

Adam once more clung onto Sauli's body, not able to stop crying. Mostly he clings onto him because of wanting to be close and never let go, but also because of the coldness. 

His thin jacket didn’t protect him from the cold wind since he wore nothing underneath.

Sauli kissed his hair twice and stroked his back. 

"Oh honey, you're freezing" he said, moving his hands up to rub Adam's arms to create warm friction, "Let's go inside" he whispered and pressed a kiss on Adam's forehead.

As they got up, Sauli grabbed Adam's cold hand. His fingers were red and stinging from the chilly weather already.

They made their way back inside from the roof.

They walked in silence to the elevators, not really awkward but there was no need for words. A few floors down and Sauli's office was there.

It wasn't about the office, it was about the small storage room inside.

Sauli felt like this is the moment. This is the right time.

This is _the_ time.

He sat Adam on the couch there and crouched before him, taking both of his hands in his and blew warm puffs of air against them. He put them between his palms and warmed them up.

Adam’s fingers were stinging and it was almost painful. How is it even possible that it’s so cold in LA tonight?

Sauli kissed his knuckles and fingers one at the time to warm them.

“I know a few warm places where you could put these…” Sauli smirked, lightening up the tense atmosphere. Adam chuckled and looked down at his lap, his face flushing red.

Sauli smiled and stood up, pulling Adam up as well. Gently and lovingly he stripped off Adam's jacket, revealing his abdomen.

Adam tried to cover himself right away, but Sauli grabbed his hands.

"No" He whispered, "I've seen them already. It's my turn to show something to you” He said, let go of Adam and turned around, facing the book shelf.

Adam watched curiously as Sauli grabbed something that looked like a framed painting, but it was packed in brown paper.

Sauli removed the paper and threw it on the floor. He stared at the picture in his hands and bit his lip, then gave it to Adam upside down.

Adam glanced at Sauli as he turned it around.

The picture in the frame was black and white, and it was kind of like a collage. Adam recognized Sauli’s face from it, his face looked so different than usually.

So… Unhappy and vulnerable. Adam stared at the biggest picture in the middle, it was a picture of a man’s back, the face turned slightly to the side but Adam couldn’t recognize it.

But what Adam was staring more intensively was the scars on the skin of the man’s back.

“Who….”

Right then and there, Sauli dropped his own jacket and removed his own shirt.

Adam was about to think ‘what a body!’, but then Sauli turned around to show him his backside.

Adam’s mouth dropped open and the picture he held almost fell from his hands.

“Is this…”

“Me, yes. When I was a child,,, my father threw me around like some ragdoll. I wasn’t exactly like other kids were. Guess my,,, different nature or whatever, was obvious to him. When I turned 15, he… knocked me down badly. I took a couple drinks too much and I was a little drunk when I came home and…”

Adam frowned sadly and put the framed picture on the couch, his hands shaking too much to hold it anymore.

“I don’t really even wanna repeat the words he said. But after that day, it was pretty obvious that he didn’t want me in his family. And I have a whole bunch of scars to remind me about that” Sauli said sadly, “Every single day”

Adam swallowed the lump in his throat and reached out to touch Sauli’s back.

“I didn’t try to hide it from you. We just never undressed when we kissed so they staid hidden. I understand your pain, Adam” Sauli whispered and turned around to look Adam in the eyes which were reddish again, “Better than you thought”

Sauli ran his fingertips over the exposed flesh of Adam’s abdomen, tracing the lines of a few scars.

“The difference is that it’s been 5 years since I got mine. Yours are so fresh compared to mine" Sauli said and reached out his other hand, and pet Adam's cheek, "I’m not letting you fall into the place where I was. I will stand there on the edge, figuratively, always ready to catch you by the hand if you’re about to fall" he said, letting his thumb stroke over Adam's cheekbone. 

"Really?" Adam asked, nuzzling into the touch.

"Yes. I will hold on to you until I’ve pulled you back up. I'd rather fall with you than let go of you" Sauli continued, and placed his hands on the side of Adam's head, "You won't be alone"

Adam’s knees gave in and he fell on the floor, over-whelmed. He has suffered for years and never really felt like someone could care enough to bear him. 

Sauli crouched down too and pulled Adam into his embrace. Adam protested, he’s not the one who should be crying now. Sauli bared his past to him while he still tries to protect his.

“Adam” Sauli gently said and used his strength to pull him against his body, “Don't let it build up. Cry, scream, wail, whatever you need to do. I’m right here”

Sauli felt Adam’s warm tears against his skin. He swayed him gently, slowly stroking his back up and down.

“Everything will be okay. I promise”

 

~♥~

 

Sauli used a thin cloth to clean the lenses of his camera.  
He was waiting for Adam to join him. He was about to photograph him again.

This time,,, more bare. Without a shirt.

They drove to Sauli’s place after the emotional, profound moment and went straight to Sauli’s home studio.

Adam's been in Sauli's bedroom for a while now and Sauli's starting to think he doesn't want to do the photoshoot after all even though he was the one that suggested it.

He told Adam not to put any make-up on or worry about covering anything. 

"If you don't wanna do this, we don't have to. I don't want to step over your comfort zone" Sauli said loudly while still wiping the camera lenses.

"I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to wear..."

Sauli glanced up, Adam suddenly stood in the same room, shirtless and wearing worn out jeans.

Sauli almost dropped his camera.

"You look perfect... " He said and put his camera on the floor, walking to Adam, "Very, very perfect"

"What do I do then?" Adam asked.

"You have free hands. Express yourself" Sauli smiled and grabbed his camera, "Express the feelings you have trapped inside your body. Talk to the camera with your body. Your scars,,, tell it how they make you feel. Show how hurt you are from the inside. Look at the camera like he’s that son of a bitch who caused you all the pain"

Adam bit his lip but nodded. He may not be good at talking, but he can express himself in other ways.

When he saw that Sauli was ready to shoot, he walked before the camera and to stand on the spot where the lights hit, and put his hands in his back pockets, turning his head a little. He knew Sauli wanted to take a pic of his scarred abdomen only.

It was so weird when Sauli was quiet and didn't give him any advice. Adam's heart was beating fast.

After a few shots, Adam let himself fall on the floor on his knees to show how close of collapsing he's been for months. 

"Beautiful" Sauli said gently and used the speed shots to capture each and every moment of the fall.

He walked closer to Adam and snapped pics from different angles.

"The part which is closest to the camera is always bigger and that's why it kind of changes the real propotions. I don't want to say what to do, but lean back just a little to bring up the right propotion of your head”

Adam nodded, leaning back. Of course he listens to Sauli's advice.

"Good"

Sauli laid on his stomach on the floor and Adam tried not to focus on the way his body squirms when he tries different angles. He has pretty exotic positions when he takes photos.

Adam wonders if he uses them in the bedroom as well…

Funny really, the whole thought of being intimate with Sauli seemed much more close and comfortable now. He didn’t have to be so afraid anymore.

"I wanna a close up of your face" Sauli whispered and crawled even closer to Adam. He put his camera on the floor for a while, then placed his fingers beneath Adam's chin, "Tilt your head a little"

Adam did.

"Can you shed a tear for me?"

"I'm not an actor" Adam said.

"I know. And believe me, when pictures need to message hurt I don't usually ask for tears. They are too obvious. I like body language more. But it might be a good spice"

Sauli reached for the bronzing powder, starting to brush the contrasting color beneath Adam’s jawbone, “When we finish this,, actually in a minute because all the shots I got are amazing. Anyway,,, I want to give you something special. Maybe pamper you a little” Sauli smiled and put the powder aside.

“What does that mean?” Adam asked and watched as Sauli reached out to take the camera again.

“You’ll see. But I hope it helps you to relax” Sauli beamed and crawled on the nearest couch to shoot in his favorite position;

Feet up against the backrest and upper body hanging down.

Adam chuckled and nodded.

“Right”

Sauli smiled for a while but got serious when he watched him through the camera again.

“Don’t laugh. This camera is the mother fucker who almost destroyed you” Sauli growled, “Show it to me, Adam. Are you mad?”

“Yes”

“Then growl, scream, attack” Sauli hissed.

As a shy and socially awkward person Adam found it hard to really let go. But when he thought of all the memories in his head, it felt easier. Adam did exactly what Sauli asked him to do, his voice almost animalistic as he posed and expressed his emotions.

“Yess” Sauli whispered, “Beautiful”

Sauli dropped himself down from the couch and kept snapping photos.

“Now show me the most vulnerable look of yours. You’re afraid, alone and hurt”

Well, that face wasn’t so hard to give. Adam just glanced at the camera. His everyday face is afraid, alone and hurt.

At least has been until today.

“Gorgeous” Sauli said, “Is there more? Or did you pour it all out?”

Adam nodded.

“For now”

Sauli hummed.

“It’s a wrap then” He said and put the camera in it’s bag, “You,,, wait 10 minutes and come to the room next to this studio. I’ll set my stuff up there” Sauli smirked and disappeared.

Adam was a little confused and partly nervous about what Sauli had come up with this time. 

But he still waited the ten minutes Sauli told him to and then went into the room next to the studio.

He was greeted with a relaxing scent from candles which lit up the room, and in the middle there was a massage table. Also all kinds of products on the shelf next to the table.

“Wow… I didn’t know you have a spa here” Adam said in awe and walked up to Sauli.

Sauli chuckled and handed him a towel.

“I have secrets places you haven’t visited yet” He smirked. Why that sounded so sexual too?

“Strip off your pants behind that movable wall and then come back and lay down on your back. I start with your face”

 

~♥~

 

"You have such an amazing face" Sauli admired when he smeared the exfoliating cream on Adam's face with his fingertips.

"My skin is far from amazing" Adam said, his voice hoarse due the pleasure Sauli's gentle care made him feel. He didn’t thought he’d like this, but he did.

"I said face, not skin. Besides, this doesn't feel too bad, vice versa" Sauli informed and made sure the cream was reaching Adam's temples and hairline. People tend to focus only on the cheeks.

It's been a long time since he has given any beauty treatment to anyone, but his skills are still there.

After studying Adam’s skin type, he dared to say;

"I recommend you to use products with glycolic acid in them. Moisturizer such as Epicuren's Acidophilus Facial Cream could fit you. It doesn’t contain more than 10% of glycolic acid, and that’s why it’s safe to use it as a moisturizer. But every other stuff that contains more, always needs to be neutralized"

Adam hummed. Sauli needs to write that for him.

Sauli knows a lot of stuff about photographing, fashion, physical fitness, food and beauty. Is there anything this man can’t do?

Sauli washed his hands after exfoliating and smiled at the look on Adam. He looked so relaxed and beautiful with all the cream on his face.

"I now use damp cotton pads to remove the cream. You have to kind of pull them towards the sides. Outwards from your nose. Do not just wipe it off, wipe it off correctly" Sauli said and used to cotton pads to remove the cream, "Do it as many times as you need to until all is gone. It might irritate the skin if all doesn’t come off"

Sauli's touch was careful, but still firm. He definitely knew what he was doing. He made sure all the cream was gone.

"Say how you feel" He whispered and disposed the used cotton pads.

"Good. Relaxed"

Sauli smiled.

"Good"

He picked up a bottle of skin tonic and dampened a cotton pad with it.

"Now I gently tap some skin tonic on your face. Your skin is oily but also dry, so I picked the one that I think will fit you best"

Adam nodded, too relaxed to answer. Sauli knows what's good for him. He trusts in it.

He felt as Sauli started tapping the tonic on his face.

"This will protect your face from all the outer bacteria" Sauli told him when he finished. Adam hummed again and chuckled. Sauli is so good at what he does. He knows everything about beauty.

It's kind of cute really.

"Now turn on your stomach. If you can"

"I can" Adam said. Sauli held the towel up above his ass when Adam turned around.

Sauli wanted to peek at his ass, but damn that’s against his professional skills too. It would be so wrong even though he does this treatment at home and Adam is, well, his boyfriend.

He doesn’t know if Adam is comfortable with full nakedness, that’s why.

Sauli smiled at the sight of Adam’s back. Creamy pale skin filled with freckles. He kept the towel on top of Adam's ass even though he wanted nothing but throw it off.

"Do you this to everybody?" Adam asked.

"No" Sauli said, grabbing a massage oil from the shelf, "Just you"

Adam smiled, satisfied.

"Good"

Sauli squeezed some oil onto his palm and put the bottle aside, then rubbed his hands together. The slick sound of it reminded Adam about something else and it made him feel a little,,, tense.

Stiff.

Sauli placed his hands on Adam's shoulders.

"I'll be gentle" came the whisper when he started to rub the knots in circles, "Are you ticklish?" he asked as he slid his palms along Adam's sides to the edge of the towel to smear the oil all over his skin.

"A little" Adam said, feeling his body tense when Sauli's hands were sliding on the slick skin of his sides.

Sauli changed the way he kept his fingers.

"Better now?"

"Yeah"

Sauli smeared the oil all over Adam's warm back and sides, cradling his skin in his gentle hands.

He put on a little more pressure each time he felt tight knots, but tried not to hurt Adam. Massage shouldn't hurt, at least not now.

Sauli took a proper hold, his hands on top of each other and pressed on the knot on Adam's lower back. 

He used to do massaging before getting his own agency, so. He knows he’s good at massages and he isn't afraid to show it.

"Jesus..." Adam groaned, "My God …"

"Just call me Sauli" Sauli chuckled and pressed on the spot once more, before starting to soothe it in gentle circles, “I can be your personal masseur”

Adam groaned as a response.

After easing that one knot, Sauli moved back to Adam's shoulders.

"I'm going to kiss each and every freckle on your body someday" Sauli said while pulling Adam's arm carefully backwards to stretch his arm, chest and shoulder blades. He really adored his freckles.

"We need a whole day to that" Adam smirked.

"It wouldn't mind if it took a week" Sauli smiled and let Adam's arm back down, moving to the other one, "No matter where they are, I will kiss them and lick them"

Something twitches beneath Adam's hips.

"Is that so?"

"Yep" Sauli beams, "Hmm. I'm dying to know do you have them everywhere... "

Adam shivered.

"You were supposed to relax me, not make me all stiff" he said.

Sauli let go of his arm and put it back to rest next to Adam's side, then moved his hands on top of Adam's ass.

"Where exactly do I make you stiff?" He asked, biting his lip. Sauli felt his dick twitch when he rubbed the firm globes of Adam's ass.

Adam groaned, which made Sauli smirk.

"Walking on the runway really activates your glutes. So does the jogging. Do you want me to...."

"Please"

Sauli smiled and moved the towel so the other side of Adam's ass was covered and his other buttock was bare. It's the first time he watched it all bare and actually got to touch it too.

It shouldn't be sexual under these circumstances but can you really help it?

No.

He rubbed the cheek in circular motion to relieve the tension in the muscle.

It was so firm but still so perfectly soft...

Sauli moved his hands back on Adam's shoulders and rubbed them down to gather some oil on his palms.

He placed his hands back on Adam's glute and started massaging them.

"Can I ask you something?" Adam suddenly asked.

Sauli hummed as yes.

"I saw an old pic of me and Danielle in my memory stick. Taken with my camera. And I happened to notice I look awful"

Sauli slapped Adam on his bum. Gently of course.

"Hush. Don't say that"

Adam chuckled a bit at the slap, but continued;

"No, I'm serious. But then when I look at the pictures you took of me, I look better. I know I do. Did you edit them?"

Sauli can't believe Adam wants to discuss about this when he's rubbing his ass cheek all hard and desperste. His dick wanted to break free and greet Adam’s naked skin.

"I didn't. But I use a lot better camera than your camera was, I bet. The lenses that I use pretty much captures the real you. The lenses your camera has, changes your face features. They may add weight, make your face asymmetrical and your head big and all this stuff. You do not see the real you in the pictures you take with a crappy camera. And that's the truth"

Adam hummed. He hasn't thought about that. Sauli is so wise and so good at making him feel better. In every way.

"Any other questions because I'd like to focus on your bum?"

"One"

"Please do ask then”

"Why is your finger creeping in my crack?"

Sauli chuckled and moved his hand a bit so his pinky wasn’t in an inappropriate place. He didn't even notice, it just happened while he rubbed.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"I liked it"

Sauli might have just died. You just don’t say stuff like that.

 

~♥~

 

The tension was getting out of hands. Adam's foot was between Sauli's legs, rubbing his crotch.

They have no idea how they ended up sitting across each other on the couch when they most definitely sat in each other's arms when they started to watch the movie after the “spa” treatment Sauli gave to Adam. Weird thing is… The clock is like 1.00 am.

Adam's focus was on TV, but Sauli was staring at Adam.

He placed his hands on Adam's bare foot that was rubbing him, and moved it off his crotch.

Adam whined at the loss. He liked doing it. He liked feeling how his manipulating made Sauli react.

Sauli wasn't up for the play anymore. He was up for the love.

He grabbed the remote and switched off the TV.

"Come with me" He said and reached out his hand for Adam.

Adam frowned, but grabbed it anyway. Sauli didn't say anything as he lead Adam to the bedroom.

The bedside lamp was the only light in the room. Sauli nudged Adam carefully on the bed and moved on top of him.

Adam's started to breathe a little faster.

"I've been trying to keep my thoughts innocent and my hands off of your body. But I feel like I die if I can't get to love you"

Love…

Adam reached up to stroked Sauli's cheek.

"Then what are you waiting?"

Sauli took Adam's hands and pressed them against the mattress above his head and attacked his mouth rather furiously and passionately.

Adam gasped in surprise. Sauli is small in size but damn he has a lot of strength in his body.

Sauli didn't keep his hands captured though, he wants Adam to be able to touch too so he freed them.

Adam placed them on Sauli's lower back.

"There are tons of things I wanna do to you. With you." Sauli whispered against Adam's lips, "But only if you want us to"

Adam nodded. He was nervous but needed it as much as Sauli did. He wanted it so bad and it was the perfect time for it.

"I want to... "

Sauli sat on Adam's hips and stripped off his shirt, throwing it somewhere on the floor.

Adam bit his lip and ran his hand down Sauli's hard abs. 

"You're gorgeous" he said and put his both hands on Sauli's sides, rubbing the firm muscles with his thumbs.

Sauli smiled and placed his hands on top of Adam's.

"And I believe in you" Sauli said. He needs to believe in him.

He's used to getting criticized in modeling industry. It's harsh, but it thickens your skin. Positive things that are said can be true just like negative things. Sauli has learnt that.

But negative things are the ones that people use against you. They try to break you because they are jealous or unsatisfied with themselves. They try to raise their own status.

"Do you believe in me when I say you're gorgeous too?" Sauli asked and rolled the hem of Adam's tee up.

Adam didn't reply, but allowed him to do it.

"Let's take it off"

Adam sat up enough for Sauli to take his shirt off. He threw it somewhere where he had tossed his own shirt too, not really caring where.

Sauli grabbed Adam by his shoulders and pulled him on top of him as he fell backwards on the mattress, locking their lips.

Their hot skins came in contact with each other.

They lost themselves into a passionate kiss, Sauli's hands roaming on Adam's hot back, his fingers digging onto his heated skin.

Adam instead grabbed Sauli's leg and flipped them again, both laying on their sides now, Sauli's leg thrown over Adam's hips.

Adam pushed their groins as tightly together as possible, and desperately started grinding against Sauli. 

The world of friction is magical. 

Sauli ran his fingers through Adam's hair and gently pulled on it, knowing already that Adam likes it. He was rewarded with a deep groan coming from Adam's throat.

But the groans he hears could be even better, more raw and desperate. Sauli wants to hear it _all_.

Sauli let go of Adam's hair and pressed his hand on Adam's chest, testing the sensitivity of his nipple. 

Adam sighed in bliss when Sauli rubbed his sensitive bud. He reached down to grab Sauli's ass, grinding their cocks together with more force. 

Sauli couldn't help the moan that escaped. He tried to get even closer though it was impossible, clinging onto Adam's skin and tangling their legs. 

But Adam was pulling away from him, which made Sauli frown. 

"What? You alright?" He panted against Adam's lips. 

"Yeah, I'm just... Touch me..." Adam whispered, out of breath, and grabbed Sauli's hand. He pushed it down his stomach, making it clear what he wants. 

Sauli cupped his package from the partly awkward angle, and firmly rubbed the hardness he felt there. 

Adam hummed in pleasure and pushed onto Sauli's hand. 

"Yeah,, But I mean really touch me" He said in a husky voice, "I 'm already leaking..."

Sauli's mind raced. That sounded so damn hot when it came from Adam's mouth.

Adam blushed after saying it, though. It just slipped out.

"Damn you, Adam... You drive me absolutely crazy" Sauli groaned and popped the button of Adam's jeans open, then pulled down the zipper. The screech of the zipper sounded exceptionally loud in the quiet room now.

Sauli is finally really about to touch him. Touch _Adam_. 

Sauli wanted to look down when he pushed his hand inside Adam's pants. He felt the hot skin against his palm and he got the biggest urge to just pull Adam's cock out and make him feel good.

Adam was looking down too, biting his lip, and reached down to help Sauli to pull his dick out of his pants.

Sauli couldn't stop staring. He was holding Adam's erect, hot and beautifully curved cock in his hand. The head was pretty shade of pink and the tip was glistening with pre-cum.

Sauli felt so hot all over.

“Can I… “ Sauli started but swallowed his words back.

Adam was whimpering, and put his hand on top of Sauli’s and started moving his hand slowly up and down. The drag felt dry but it was still so damn _good_.

“What? Can you what?” He asked, panting on Sauli's lips. 

“I want to taste you on my tongue... Please, can I suck you off?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left it hanging because I need to start studying maths now! and also because I'm still kind of planning the following scene.


	10. Breaking the law

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took way too long considering that this is a short chap. But there has been a lot of fuss going on.

Adam's cock twitched at Sauli's words. He's not completely sure if that's what he wants quite yet though, for reason unknown. It feels like... They'd get too close.

Having someone down there, swallowing his length and tasting the bodily fluids produced by him is sort of... Scary. It would feel so intimate and Adam is scared of letting anyone too close. Not necessarily physically anymore but emotionally.

Adam's cock had a clear opinion on the suggestion and it kept twitching in Sauli's hand. 

Sauli glanced down as something warm dribbled on his fingers.

"Well, well, your dick definitely wants me to do it" Sauli said in a low tone, smacking his lips because God, he really wanted to take that into his mouth.

Sauli brought his hand up and licked the pre-cum off his fingers. Adam blushed furiously and bit his lip, still unable to tear his eyes off the scene. 

Adam swallowed nervously and used his first two fingers to rub through the oozing tip of his dick and brought the finger up on Sauli's lips.

Sauli gingerly pushed his tongue out to lick Adam's fingertips. 

He tasted a sweet-ish flavor on his tongue, it wasn't bad but it wasn't good, just kind of neutral, but it was _Adam_ and that alone made it a huge turn on.

Sauli let out a satisfied hum.

Sauli let go with a wet pop and smirked at Adam, 

"You taste so good..." He murmured, "Mind if I take a proper taste?" Sauli asked smugly. 

Sauli pushed Adam on his back and sat by his feet, slipping his fingers beneath his waistband and started tugging down his pants.

Adam raised his hips off the bed to ease the progress. He was sure that his heart was going to jump out of his chest in any minute now.

Although asked for permission, he was still nervous. Sauli was being gentle and caring, a complete opposite of what Adam is used to.

Not that he has done much sexual activities with anyone. Only Drake and he never took his time to ask Adam what he wanted and how. 

"Those not listening to your wants and needs are dickheads. That's why I ask" Sauli gently said and petted Adam's face after he got rid of his jeans, "You gotta talk to me. I can't read your mind"

"I know" Adam said, suddenly sitting up and tucking himself back into his underwear. Sauli's heart sank a little and he really didn't understand now.

The trust Adam has lost cannot be re-set in a day, it takes time, but considering Adam is a young boy with raging hormones, he is awfully careful about sex.

Sauli sat up as well and pressed a soft kiss on the back of Adam's neck. He put his hands on his shoulders and slid them down his biceps.

Adam breathed in a shuddering breath and hung his head,

"I'm a virgin"

Sauli kind of knew it already. He smiled gently and stroked Adam's biceps,

"I would be more than happy to be the one who you lose your virginity to. But if that's too much, it's okay. You have no reason to feel ashamed for that" Sauli said gently and circled Adam's left shoulder with his fingertips.

Adam turned around to face Sauli and his gentle eyes which were gazing back into his.

"I'm not. I just... I've never wanted to feel someone inside of me this bad. I've always taken the control of the situations to feel more sure about myself"

Sauli wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and straddled his lap, pressing their foreheads together.

"You neither I need to control things. Top or bottom, any way is good for me. To me the most important thing is that we both have good time. If you feel better on top, I'm fine with it. I'm the man of both ways"

Adam nodded.

“I promise I'll be worth the wait..."

Sauli captured Adam's mouth into a sweet kiss, sucking on his lower lip a little. 

"I know you are. I don't want you to feel pushed into it because you want to please me" Sauli whispered and stroked Adam's hair, "It's not all about me"

Adam smiled and grabbed Sauli's by the shoulders, flipping them into a laying position with him on his back, Sauli between his bent knees.

"You can still use your mouth on me..." He whispered in seductive tone, almost a purr, and gently pushed Sauli's head on his neck.

Sauli obeyed happily, smirking. More than happy to do what Adam told him to.

He pressed his lips on Adam's neck, receiving a hasty taste of Adam's skin. He has learnt that Adam has a sensitive spot on his neck, near his collarbone.

The sounds Adam made when Sauli gave attention to that spot, sent Sauli's body on fire. Soft gasps and whimpers, quiet moans and groans. 

Sauli started sliding lower, tracing his tongue along Adam's skin as he went. 

He avoided the direct contact with the wounds, not wanting them to get infected. He will kiss and love them when they're completely healed.

And finding Adam’s erogenous zones is on top of Sauli’s list as soon as Adam learns to be completely relaxed with him.

When Sauli reached the waistband of Adam's briefs, he stopped. Adam opened his eyes to look down at him.

Sauli looked up and into Adam's eyes. Then he kissed Adam's belly button, loving how the muscled in his tummy twitched, he was probably ticklish. 

Sauli chuckled lovingly, pressing another kiss on the belly button. He flickered his tongue around it and even dipped the tip into Adam's navel. 

"Sauli..." Adam breathed out, his body squirming a little.

Then slowly Sauli started to pull down Adam’s briefs, enough to reveal some more of his pubic hair. 

A second ago Adam was worried about the state of his pubes. He should have trimmed a little and he at least should have shaved his balls but now he couldn't care less. 

"There's one thing I've wanted to do since the day I saw your legs for the first time in those pants you promoted" Sauli said and took Adam's right foot in his hands.

Adam bit his lip as Sauli kissed each one of his toes, the space above them and then his ankle.

"I have a thing for long, gorgeous legs" He murmured against Adam's skin and moved his hands on the soft skin of Adam’s thigh. He kissed his way up along his calf and sucked on the side of his knee.

The lower he slid then, the more Adam made sounds. 

Sauli kissed his thigh, his fingers gently digging onto the soft flesh. He sucked on the creamy white skin, dusted with freckles, and just nuzzled it.

Adam had his eyes closed again, his mouth was slightly open and he held onto the headboard of the bed.

Sauli smiled and let Adam's leg go, but kept kissing his inner thigh. He heard in Adam’s breathing that it was one of the magical spots on his body.

But it’s time to explore other places...

Sauli leaned down some more and kissed Adam's bulge. He felt the warmth on his lips through the thin fabric of Adam’s briefs.

Adam's breath hitched when Sauli did it again, only longer this time, sucking a bit.

Sauli dipped his fingertips under the elastics of Adam's briefs and pulled them down the whole way to Adam's ankles. Adam kicked them off somewhere.

Before Sauli did anything, he got rid of his own pants, leaving his briefs on.

He looked at Adam’s exposed genitals and inhaled deep. It's really not that poetic when you see someone like this and Sauli has never really considered anyone's dick _pretty_ but Adam's totally was. 

It was thick with a perfectly shaped mushroom head, and it was nicely flushed. His pubes were more copper colored than Sauli would have guessed at first. Definitely sexy.

"What do you want me to do? Or do you want me to stop?" Sauli asked and kissed Adam's inner thigh again.

"Why do you have to..."

"Just tell me" Sauli smirked at Adam's flushed face. Adam can talk dirty, but asking something that is good for him is hard sometimes. 

"Suck me off..." He wheezed, face burning.

"My pleasure" Sauli smiled and settled down to face Adam's hard dick. He wrapped his fingers around the shaft and slowly stroked from base to the tip, mouth hovering above the head. 

Adam was biting his lip and staring down between his legs. The warm breeze of Sauli’s breath against the wet tip made his body feel restless. 

Sauli closed his mouth around the head, applying a little bit of pressure with his lips, and sucked.

A shuddering breath escaped Adam's lips and he let his head down on the pillows. 

Sauli wrapped his hand around the still exposed shaft and stroked it whilst sliding his lips up and down. Adam was so well equipped that he would not be able to use his mouth on the whole shaft.

At least not without some practice. Adam seemed totally happy with what he was receiving now, though. 

When Sauli glanced up at Adam's face, he saw that he was biting back his beautiful sounds and that was so not okay to Sauli. 

He slid his mouth off the cock with an obscene smack of his lips. 

"Don't hold back, I want to hear you..." Sauli whispered, and flicked his tongue around the head, really paying attention to the sensitive spot on the underside.

First Adam was afraid that he can’t enjoy this as much as he wants but he can. Sauli has some special ability to make him feel better in every way.

To make him feel comfortable with himself. 

Adam dropped his hands on top of Sauli’s head and plaid with his silver-ish hair when he moved his mouth on his stiff cock.

He tried not to think how good Sauli is and how much practice he has gotten. He tried to focus on the fact that Sauli is indeed good and he’s using them on Adam now, not on anyone else.

Adam let himself get lost in pleasure. He moaned in bliss, rocking his hips. 

Sauli smirked and pulled away from his cock, glancing up at Adam’s face again. Sauli kissed his balls, then gave a long lick from the base to the very tip. 

He felt the veins pulse against his tongue. Sauli held Adam's cock up and kissed the head affectionately. 

Adam shuddered and tightened his hold in Sauli’s hair. The best satisfaction Sauli could get is the fact that Adam is enjoying. 

“Tell me how you feel” He whispered, holding Adam’s cock against his lips, rubbing them against the tip like he was applying lip gloss. 

Adam hissed and tried to thrust himself back inside the warm hug of Sauli’s mouth. Sauli resisted and smirked smugly.

“Answer me first”

Adam groaned.

“Feels fucking amazing I’ve never been so turned on in my life so please keep going" Adam said incoherently and his body was squirming restlessly.

Sauli smirked, satisfied.

He grabbed Adam’s thighs and threw his legs over his shoulders as he sank back down, sucking him into his mouth enthusiastically.

While bobbing his head up and down, he caressed and rubbed Adam’s thighs.

Adam dared to open his eyes to look down and see Sauli between his bent spread legs.

The sight was so dirty, so wonderfully slutty. Sauli's lips were stretched wide around him, spit dribbling from his mouth along his shaft. 

Adam's cock jumped at the sight. Sauli must have felt it since he hummed, tightening his lips around him.

“Can you touch yourself for me?" He asked Sauli. 

Sauli didn’t stop doing what he was doing, he just obeyed, sliding his hand down his body to pull out his erected dick.

Adam couldn't really see anything but just knowing that Sauli was jacking off while sucking him was driving him to the edge.

Sauli tasted Adam's juices on his tongue more strongly now, precum just oozing from the tip into his mouth.

Adam was starting to writhe and he was making such beautiful sounds, louder now.

“Sauli… I... I'm close” Adam panted, clamping his thighs together, still careful not to hurt Sauli. Sauli pulled away. There are limits he does not want to cross yet. 

He got rid of his briefs and crawled up, straddling Adam’s bigger body and wrapped his fingers around his leaking and pulsing length.

Adam pulled Sauli’s head down, wanting to kiss him when he makes him come. Their tongues bumped and swirled together, ragged breaths escaping from their mouths.

Sauli twisted his fist a little at the head, collecting the precum and spread it on the shaft. He began to jack him off, firm and fast.

Adam’s back arched to a small curve and he was gasping into their kiss. The closer to the edge he got, the more sounds he made.

And Sauli was loving it.

Adam clung onto Sauli’s body and thrust his hips in small movements, pushing his slick cock throgh the fist.

Not a word was said, but a moan was released as Adam reached his blissful orgasm. He shot his load between their bodies, warm cum dribbling on Sauli's fingers. 

Adam was going through the aftershocks but he still wrapped his hand around Sauli's dick. Sauli placed his hand on top of his and started to stroke his cock. 

He was so damn close already. 

Sauli groaned, tightening his grip. He bit ontoAdam’s neck and came on Adam’s abdomen and on their hands.

He collapsed on top of Adam right after, not caring a bit about the dirty mess smearing between their bodies.

Adam wrapped his hands around Sauli’s smaller body and smiled against his shoulder.

Satisfied and happy.

It was also scary because it will never last. Not to him, he thought.

“I can hear you thinking” Sauli whispered and lift his body enough to properly look at Adam’s face, “Stop”

Adam did.

It’s not the time to think about his fears now. It’s time to enjoy the afterglow of their orgasms.

And the fact that Sauli might actually like him.

 

~♥~

 

Sauli squealed as he opened the box he received from the mail. He pulled out a smaller box from inside of it and put it on his desk.

More important were the pictures that came with it. The ads for his cologne are finally ready.

Sauli pulled all the photos out of the box and spread them on his desk in a certain way. Punctuality is important to him in everything he does.

It's kind of funny sometimes. But that makes him a great manager.

Adam looks so fucking hot in the pictures. The water drops on his skin are brighter and his hair looks more shiny, but no other editing was allowed.

Sauli wanted them to look natural and real. No photoshopping.

"Adam, would you come here for a minute?" Sauli asked loudly so Adam could hear him from the storage room.

Adam came into the room right away to see what Sauli had for him. He's so glad Sauli works mostly in his office for this week because he has no scheduled photoshoots or shows now.

He gets to spend more time with him.

"The cologne ads are here" Sauli smiled, "Come and pick your favorite"

Adam walked to the desk un-surely yet full of curiosity. His face is going to be around the streets on billboards... It's a scary thought. 

To be there and to be looked at. And criticized by all the people that pass by.

"My personal favorite is definitely this" Sauli beamed and held up a photo where Adam had his arms up behind his neck, "But this might be too sexy to be on a billboard"

Adam chuckled and sat on the edge of Sauli's desk, watching the photos.

"I would use this" Adam said and picked up the picture in which he stood in the water, just staring into the camera, soaking wet.

Sauli hummed and nodded.

It might be good. Not too sexy, but definitely seductive. There’s something about Adam’s eyes that just makes you want to jump him.

"It's a good one. Wanna sniff the product?" Sauli asked and pulled the small bottle out of the box and handed it to Adam.

Adam took it and sprayed some on his wrist to smell it.

He reminded Sauli of his twin sister who did the same always when they were shopping and passed the perfume shelves.

Every time she would go through all the new ones until both of her wrists smelled bad because there were so many perfumes combined.

Sauli smiled a little.

"'s good. Really good actually" Adam said and put the bottle back in the box and kept sniffing his wrist.

Sauli smiled and agreed.

"You know what mistake you did?" Sauli asked and tapped Adam on the knee.

"What?" Adam asked confused and a little frightened.

"You did not get to know this product before you promoted it. You always have to know what you promote"

"But I trusted in you"

Sauli sighed and nodded.

"You did. But not every job offer is trust worthy. Do not count on anyone too much" Sauli said firmly and pinched Adam's thigh. It's an important advice in business.

And an important piece of advice in life in general.

Always count on yourself more than on anyone else. But of course if you have a job and a boss, believe him/her.

But notice when somebody uses you wrong. Even if it’s your boss.

"So I'm an idiot now?" Adam pouted and scratched off the nail polish from his thumb nail.

"No" Sauli frowned and took Adam's hand in his, "But I know your dreams are elsewhere than in modeling. So this was just a piece of advice for the future"

Adam glanced at Sauli's face with a questioning eyes.

"I know you love music. And I want you to reach for it. But be careful"

And how exactly does Sauli know about Adam's passion for music? Adam hasn't said a word about it.

Oh well.

"But I have a one suggestion to you" Sauli smiled and stood up, moving to stand between Adam's legs.

"Oh boy, not again" Adam sighed, joking, of course.

Sauli cupped his face and kissed him briefly but firmly on the lips.

"This suggestion does not contain me sucking your beautiful cock" Sauli said and rubbed the insides of Adam's thighs to tease him. Surprisingly, Adam didn't even blush.

"That's a shame" He smirked, "What is it then?"

"Pose for me. Naked"

Adam's jaw dropped open. He did not expect to hear that.

"Uhmm, no?"

Sauli chuckled and dropped his head against Adam's shoulder.

"Not some kind of porn! I meant like,,, neat and sexy" Sauli said and pulled away, but wrapped his arms around Adam's neck.

"Meaning?"

"Mirror photos, you know. You stand in front of the mirror and I take a picture from behind, capturing the reflection of your front but also your beautiful back. Those kind of photos are always so… Powerful. Sexy” Sauli said thoughtfully and kissed Adam's jaw, “Or bed photos. Like you’d just woken up and your boyfriend is not at home and you feel so horny. And stuff"

"Reflections? Bed photos? Morning woods? Stuff?" Adam repeated and placed his hands on Sauli's hips.

"Well, what I meant by bed photos was that you'd be on the bed, sheets rustled and covers barely reach your hips. You'd have your quality time" Sauli murmured close to Adam's ear.

Adam smirked and hopped down from the desk and flipped them around, pushing Sauli against the edge of the desk. Of course he knew what Sauli meant. 

"You like watching me" He declared and lift Sauli to sit on the table.

"Well, I can look but can't touch"

"Liar. The higher authority would be very pissed if they knew you've groped me" Adam murmured in a low tone and pushed Sauli down on the desk, then climbed to straddle Sauli's body.

"Only briefly. Nobody said anything about my mouth" Sauli said, playfulmy wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh? So you getting me off with your mouth isn't forbidden?" Adam asked with a grin, keeping his his tone low. Sauli reached down to pet his butt and shrugged innocently. 

“You’re 18. So on the other hand, I’m not doing anything illegal. It’s just not usually acceptable to have any kind of relationships with employees, that way we protect the models from feeling harrassed"

Adam hummed and grabbed Sauli’s hands, pushing them up and against the wooden surface above his head.

Sauli raised his eyebrow at him.

“The fact that we might get caught because my door is not locked seems to be turning you on” Sauli said, glancing down between their bodies.

“It isn’t?” Adam asked, honestly surprised that the door was unlocked.

Sauli shook his head as no.

Adam managed to get down from the desk just before someone knocked on the door and stepped in.

It was Ashley. She had her eyes on the papers she was carrying so she couldn’t see as Sauli quickly got down from the desk as well.

“You received once again dozens of portfolios. Lot of girls and boys trying to get to work in Sunny…” Ashley stopped talking the second she raised her eyes from the papers, “Stars” she finished, surprised that Adam was there.

Sauli tried not to look like he had been pressed against the table just seconds ago.

And Adam of course tried not to look so guilty but the flush on his cheeks made Ashley frown at Sauli.

“Do I smell the reek of two men making out in my boss’ office?” She asked.

Sauli shook his head frantically and sat on his chair behind his desk. 

“No, don’t be silly. We just talked about the ads. Adam picked his favorite” He said and showed Ashley the picture Adam had chosen.

Ashley nodded, very slowly, and Sauli knew she knew something happened in the office seconds ago. She would never betray Sauli’s trust, though. And it’s not her business what he does.

“Yeah I saw some of them. Guys were putting the poster versions in the frames and put them on the wall next to the ones Lee took of you” She informed and placed the new portfolios on the table.

“Yeah I told them to. I will check these later” Sauli said and put the folders aside for now.

Adam glanced at the papers he had on his desk and his eyes widened. So much papers in several piles. Not a wonder Sauli hasn’t set any shows now.

“I actually recommend you to check one of them soon. He is amazing. All his pictures are just… Wow” Ashley said, her hands flying in the air because her words just weren’t enough to describe the guy.

“Which one?”

“The name was something like Jason Foster. He’s 19 and he has a really pretty face and a well built body”

Sauli grabbed the folder with Jason’s name on it and opened it.

“Height?”

“6’0” “

Sauli hummed. Adam felt a little unease. He could see that Sauli really liked the way the guy looked.

“That’s a good height. Is he a natural blonde?”

“Yes. And he is very well packed for what I’ve seen. The photo where he has the morning robe on is just. No words” Ashley convinced and looked at Sauli’s face when he browsed the photos.

His face didn’t change much. It never does if he isn’t really fully convinced.

But when he came across the picture Ashley mentioned, he made a satisfied face.

“Wow. Looks really good. Really perfect” He said.

It was like a punch in Adam’s stomach. Sauli spends all of his days looking at the gorgeous models dressed and undressed.

Adam couldn’t see why on Earth would Sauli choose him over the others.

Ashley noticed Adam’s hung head and the uneasiness he felt at the moment because he was pulling on his fingers, scratching his wrists and doing all these small movements.

It clenched her heart somehow.

“Sauli” She quietly said to get Sauli’s attention.

When he glanced up to look at her, she nodded her head towards Adam.

Sauli moved his eyes to Adam and he frowned sadly, quickly understanding his mistake.

“I will call this guy today to ask him for an interview. I'll check rest of his photos tomorrow” Sauli informed and put the folders aside once again.

“Okay. The girl, Marya Taylor was also good. Height 5’11” and a beautiful face and eyes. I’d appreciate if you check her soon as well. But I will leave you now and won’t bother you and your paperwork” Ashley said and waved a goodbye at Adam when she left the office.

A few seconds after the door closed, Sauli crossed his arms and sighed with a smile, looking at Adam.

Adam glanced at him.

“What?”

“I can _smell_ the jealousy. Stop it now, you have no reason” He said and got up from his chair and walked to Adam, feeling just a little tiny due to Adam’s platform boots.

“Great abs. That guy had, I mean. And a nice face. Bright eyes and glowing skin”

Sauli sighed and rested his head against Adam’s chest.

“My amazing beautiful Adam, just _stop_. You’re taller, you’re hotter, you’re prettier” Sauli listed and tapped Adam’s belt buckle, “You’re bigger” He hissed and slowly ran his hand over the bulge. 

Adam’s lips twitched a little.

“And he’s not you. That is a very big minus” Sauli said with a gentle smile and looked into Adam’s eyes, “And because he’s not you, you have no reason to be worried. You’re my favorite”

 

~♥~

 

Adam has spent several days in Sauli’s place already. He feels comfy there and Sauli doesn’t really mind.

Adam is like a roommate.

But mostly, he’s Sauli’s crush running around the house, making Sauli feel like he’s a teenager again.

His face twitches into a ridiculous grin every time Adam does something.

A crush whose chest he now kept his head on. It was yet another morning and Sauli needs to get going soon.

Sauli woke up to a phone ringing.

He groaned and reached for the nightstand against his will, he felt so comfy cuddled up to Adam's warm body.

His voice was hoarse from sleep when he answered;

"Sauli Koskinen"

_"Hi. This is Leila Lambert"_

Sauli's eyes widened and he immediately pushed himself up to a sitting position. The last name that was same as Adam’s made his mind run wild.

He glanced at Adam who still snored softly.

"Yes? How can I help you?"

_"I just saw a picture of my son when I was in a shopping mall. His picture was on a notice board. Promoting a cologne or some kind of perfume!"_

Sauli got up from the bed and tiptoed out of the bathroom to let Adam sleep and not hear him talking.

"Adam is your son?" He asked quietly after he shut the door.

_"He most certainly is! And I would like to know what gave you the right to use him in an advertisement? I knew nothing"_

Sauli yawned, not able to help it and sat on the first armchair that appeared in his sight. That one night when Adam said that even his own mother doesn’t accept him as himself popped into his mind.

He tried to push it away or he might say something he’ll regret later.

"A. I did not make him. B. He wanted to make money and I gave him a fair offer. C. He's over 18"

He heard Leila gasp.

_"No, he's not! The boy is only 17! I've been trying to call him, text him, I've called to the school he used to attend and I can't get to him_

Sauli almost dropped his phone. Suddenly, his stomach felt queasy. That's impossible. How did he never check Adam's ID?

He staid quiet for a moment.

"I'm.... shocked. I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I just... If I knew he wasn't over 18 I wouldn't have used him without a permission from his parents"

_"How is that possible? What kind of manager are you?"_

Bad one. It seems.

Leila continued before Sauli could even answer;

"That's not my biggest concern now, though. I'm more worried about his location. He hasn’t called, he hasn’t visited in a long time. Do you know where he is?"

Sauli bit his lip and glanced at the bedroom door. He inhaled and closed his eyes.

He either breaks a worried mother's heart or betrays Adam's trust.

Sauli opened his eyes to see the bedroom door open and a sleepy figure step out with Fluffie in his arms. He was so heartbreakingly beautiful.

Sauli looked into Adam's tired eyes as he said;

"No. I'm sorry, I do not know where he is"

He heard Leila sigh and thank him before she hung up.

Sauli pressed his phone against his lips and took a deep breath, looking at Adam.

Adam was right. The higher authority would be very pissed off.

“Bad news?” Adam asked , stepping closer.

Sauli nodded, closing his eyes.

He can’t look at Adam because he can’t be mad at that face. He can’t say the things to him that would now be necessary to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next update will be up.... Soon?


	11. Was it something I said or something I did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean WHAT I updated THIS soon. Wow.

"No, no, no don't try to suck in your cheeks. It will make you look weird. Just keep your head up and look into the camera" Sauli guided Marya, the new girl he interviewed and now takes some test shots.

He rushed to the agency very soon after Leila's call, not wanting to make any hurried decisions or say anything to Adam which he might regret later.

But Sauli wasn't fully focused on his working. Even though he already met that Jason Foster and arranged an appointment.

He probably missed a lot of great poses because his head just wasn't in the photographing.

Marya had a really beautiful face, reminded Sauli of Coco Rocha who also has done photoshoots with Sauli.

Lots of great names support Sunny Stars. And Coco is one of them.

But why do these girls always try to suck in their cheeks? If you have high cheekbones, awesome. If you don't, then you don't, and you don't have to try to make yourself ones.

Then you have something else that makes your face great in the modeling industry.

Sauli put his camera down and glanced at Brian who was watching the pictures from the computer. Every time Sauli took a photo, it appeared there and he decided whether it was worth using or not.

Brian shook his head.

Seems like there were no good shots yet. Damn.

Sauli walked closer to Marya and gestured Tommy. He knew it meant he needed a stool to get a fine portrait of her face.

Sauli stepped on the stool Tommy brought him.

It was funny back in the days. Especially when the girls wore 3 inch heels when they're already about 5'10" tall.

"Look straight into the camera "Sauli said, "Watch it intensively. But don't smile or anything"

That's how he gets a good shot every time. And it brings up the beauty. The eyes, mouth, forehead or chin. Whatever it happens to be.

Some models are really photogenic and don't need much to look gorgeous in pictures, but some need to see a little effort even if they are beautiful in person.

"Okay, good" Sauli said, "These are good. I will check these through and let you know then"

Sauli put his camera on the table and shook Marya's hand.

She thanked him and left the studio, Ashley leading her out of the big building. Sometimes the models get lost in the agency and then suddenly all the anti-theft alarms are on.

"Man what was that? The girl is like the best one in months and you are adventuring in your own little fairytale land" Brian said, clearly amused by Sauli's behavior, "You came across very rude"

Sauli sat down and ran his hands over his face.

"I know. I'm just a little tired that's all"

Brian huffed while browsing the new pics.

"Sorry to interrupt you, but we got an order" Tommy informed, putting his phone back into his pocket, "Which one of our models could present in some classic male clothes for Fault?"

Sauli's head perked up.

"Fault?! Fucking Fault?"

Amazing. He'll get one of his models in Fault again. How cool is that!

"I was thinking about Adam" Tommy then said, and the bottom of Sauli's stomach jumped at the sound of his name.

Yeah. He would be good…

But how on Earth could Sauli photograph him when all he can think of is that he had sexual encounter with his employee, an underaged boy.

"Talking about Adam, where is he?" Brian asked, realizing he hasn't seen him today.

Sauli is not mean boss or anything, but he's very strict when it comes to working and being absent from work. And in Brian’s opinion, Adam has no special rights or anything.

"He's uhm... didn't feel well in the morning so he's not coming today. But I'll talk with him when I get home"

Silence filled the room. They all looked at Sauli.

Brian glanced around like making sure nobody else was hearing before he very carefully asked:

"Is he staying with you?"

Oh shit. Sauli so should choose his word better. As Ashley came back into the room, she stopped in tracks when he saw that everyone was staring at Sauli mouth gaping open.

Sauli didn't say anything, he just got up, grabbed his camera and left the studio.

Maybe they won't tell anyone. Or Sauli will get in trouble.

Sauli made his way to his office and locked the door. He's not up for anyone interrupting him now.

He needs to clear his head a little. From Fault, from Adam and from everything.

He put his camera into the cabinet and walked at his desk. He sighed and sat on his chair, turning it towards the huge window to look out.

He huffed. Ironic how it always rains when he's feeling like shit.

It’s like he’s the sun itself.

He pulled out his phone and checked the missed calls and unread messages. Lee, Lee, Suvi, Sara, Adam.

Sauli checked Adam's message sent a few hours ago.

_It would be very cool for me to know if I've done or said something wrong. Do you even like me_

Sauli sighed and stood up, pressing his forehead against the cold window. You've done so much, Sauli thought to himself, more good than bad.

But the bad thing seemed to cover all the good things. Age is just a fucking number, after all.

While Sauli held on to his career tightly and didn't want to risk anything, he really liked Adam. He really liked him. A lot.

"Oh baby... You don't even know how much" He sighed and dropped down on the floor.

So much it physically hurts.

 

~♥~

 

Adam was confused.

Sauli just left without saying a word expect ‘Bye’.

Adam has been laying on the couch since he left. Sauli didn't even take the dog out in the morning so Adam had to do that.

Whatever the call was and whoever was looking for someone, it made Sauli upset for a bad time.

Adam sighed while pressing his toes against Fluffie's fur who was laying near his feet on the couch.

Even though Sauli has said and promised a lot of things, Adam had to send him a message to make sure the thing is not about him.

But Sauli hasn’t replied yet.

And it’s ripping Adam apart. Ignorance is the worst feeling in the world beside jealousy.

“Do you think Sauli hates me for some reason?” Adam asked out loud and flipped around the couch so his head was near Fluffie.

He felt him sniff his hair and ear, which tickled, and made Adam smile just a little.

“I don’t know what I did” Adam pouted and once again checked his phone only to see that he has not received new unread messages.

He jerked when he heard knocking.

Fluffie started barking and hopped down from the couch, running to the door.

Adam gathered his courage and followed him, rolling his eyes at himself. His timidity is ridiculous.

He did the same thing as Sauli always does and stood before the door, watching Fluffie with a firm face and gestured him to go back. He actually believed him almost as well as he does Sauli.

Adam inhaled and exhaled, then opened the door.

“Uhm. Can I help you?” He asked when he saw a handsome young man stand at the door.

“Sorry. Am I at the wrong house? Mr. Sauli Koskinen and I had a rendezvous. He was supposed to take some photos for the underwear advertisement”

Adam felt his face heat up. The fucker is the guy from the portfolio he saw yesterday.

Just the thought of Sauli watching another man almost naked made Adam feel queasy.

“I don’t know any Sully. Maybe you got the wrong name and address” Adam beamed smugly, amused himself too that he was actually condescending himself on that level.

“Oh. That’s weird” The guy frowned, “I just met him this morning. I’m sure this is the right place”

 

Why would Sauli set an appointment at his home when he knew Adam would be there?

“This surely is not” Adam said and banged the door closed.

He left the hall and returned to the living room, checking his phone again.

Nothing.

He sighed, sitting back on the couch. He lift his knees on it as well and hugged them, hating the fact that he had no one else to cuddle.

Not that he thinks Sauli will always be there when he wants to snuggle. Maybe Sauli is tired of going with his ‘rules’.

Tired of Adam’s timidity, unsureness and vulnerability. Confidence is sexy. Adam is not that in everything, actually in anything, to be exact.

Maybe he’s just a friend and an employee for Sauli. And he tried to get in Adam’s pants but when he realized Adam doesn’t want it yet he suddenly doesn’t feel interested.

That’s Adam’s theory. Adam got up again and walked to the full body mirror which was in the living room, watching his reflection.

His almost see-through shirt brought up his chest and stomach, his tight jeans hugging his body perfectly from every place.

Maybe he could make this a daily routine. Watch himself from the mirror until he learns to like himself.

Adam glanced down at his lap. Is that the reason why all the guys aka Drake and some twink, liked him? Adam ran his palm over the said place and sighed, turning around.

He looked over his shoulder to see his backside.

Or maybe it’s that.

Adam grabbed both of his assf cheeks and huffed. Who knows.

He bit his lip and let go of himself. He turned back around and touched his chest, running a hand down his stomach, and finally cupped his cock.

He bit his lip, his thoughts already so dirty.

Adam opened his eyes, grabbed his phone and rushed upstairs to Sauli’s bedroom.

He fell on the bed, a smug smile decorating his face.

He closed his eyes, inhaling as he ran his hands from his neck to his stomach, sliding his hands underneath the thin cotton to feel his warm skin against his fingers.

He hates all the softness he feels, but when he saw that Sauli didn’t care that he wasn’t some hard abs hunk, he’s been feeling slightly better. Sauli liked him the way he is. 

His hands travelled further South, past his belt buckle. He ‘framed’ his bulge between his thumbs and forefingers. 

He spread his legs a little more, and unbuckled his belt, pulled down the zipper, and pushed the edges apart.

His heart was beating fast. He’s actually doing this on Sauli’s bed.

Adam pushed his pants down to his ankles and pulled them off completely.

He rubbed his inner thighs, once again imagining it was Sauli touching him.

When he gets familiar with the idea of Sauli exploring his body all over, he might get used to the idea that they could have penetration sex.

Like Sauli said, no matter who tops or bottoms, but it’s about feeling comfortable with the other one. To be able to enjoy the proximity; skin against skin.

Touches, both comforting and sexual. Maybe a gentle hand on the waist or thigh during a kiss. Touch you don’t even realize that happens, it just happens.

Adam slid his hand into his briefs, letting out a trembling breath as he reached for his hole. 

 

~♥~

 

Sauli was driving back to his place, cursing because he was late because of the heavy traffic.

He was supposed to meet Jason and get home before he arrives and tell Adam what’s going on.

But for sure, Jason has already gone.

Sauli groaned. Now Adam will make up his own theories and Sauli will feel even worse.

He feels bad because Adam lied to him and now his career is in danger and he feels like he used Adam in a wrong way because he’s a minor and himself he is already over 20.

What makes him feel worse is that he hasn’t talked to Adam today and that the poor boy must be making up all these silly things now.

Sauli couldn’t resist anymore. He pulled out his phone while focusing on the road and called Adam. It took a few seconds before he heard some rustling.

“Adam?”

_”Mmmm hm…”_

That sound belonged into sex. Sauli’s dick twitched.

“Adam,,, wha-”

_”Is that the reason you left? That model fucker? Or because I didn’t want us to have sex? What is it?”_

Sauli frowned. He knew Jason visited but more disturbing thing was that Adam was panting. His voice was all hoarse.

“No, Adam. Jason has nothing to do with it neither does our sex life. I’m coming home now, let’s talk then. I just turned from the last crossroad”

He heard Adam giggle.

”Okay. I’ll be waiting. Bye”

Sauli didn’t even have time to reply before Adam hung up. So Adam is more than just a little upset.

Sauli pressed on the gas a little harder, wanting to get home as soon as possible.

Only the long straight road ahead and he’s there, but it felt like century to drive there when he knew that Adam wasn’t okay.

Well, what a surprise you idiot, it’s your fault, Sauli’s mind kept repeating to him.

But Adam could’ve told the truth. It’s not like Sauli doesn’t like him anymore now when he found out he’s only 17.

But the photoshoots has been so freaking sexual it’s forbidden to do them unless the model is over 18. Sauli should’ve checked his background better. He can’t blame only Adam for the fuss.

And another thing is Leila. She’s dead worried about her son and Sauli lied to her. She could basically sue him for using Adam.

“Fuck, FUCK” Sauli cursed sharply, the reality hitting him again more powerfully.

As soon as his car was on his home yard, he turned down the engine and pulled out the keys, grabbed his bag and camera from the front seat and stepped out of the car.

He fumbled his keys into the lock as fast as he could, then stepped in and shut it.

He was greeted by enthusiastically jumping Fluffie.

“Hi boy” Sauli smiled and but his bag down on the floor, crouching down to scratch him by the both sides of his head and behind his ears.

At least he’s happy to see him.

“Where is Adam?” Sauli asked him with a pout, getting a quiet bark for response.

Sauli chuckled and tapped him on the hip.

“I almost understood you. I go to look for him” he said and stripped off his jacket and shoes.

He grabbed his camera from the floor, he never leaves it anywhere where Fluffie can bite or scratch it.

“Adam?” He called out while talking up the stairs, “We need to talk”

He noticed his bedroom door was wide open, so he peeked in.

Most of his shitty feelings flew away.

He expected to see Adam pouting or something like that, but instead he saw him sleeping, all of his clothes on the floor. Including his briefs.

The only cover he had on was Sauli’s large gym hoodie.

Sauli brought up his camera and turned off the flash, then snapped a photo of the sight.

Such a perv he may seem, but the reason why he took the photo was simply because Adam looked so beautiful and relaxed cuddled up on the bed beneath his hoodie.

Sauli walked to the bed and sat down, trying not to jostle the bed too much.

“In case you’re wondering, I am not sleeping” Adam suddenly said, but didn’t turn to face Sauli.

That always tells he’s either mad or sad.

“And I masturbated on your bed”

“Figured that much” Sauli smiled gently and touched Adam’s shoulder, making Adam turn around.

The expression on his face wasn’t shame, guilt, anger or even sadness. It was confusion.

“Tell me what I did wrong. I let you know almost everything about me and I let you get so close to me in every meaning of the word and then you just ignore me and leave” Adam said, his eyes sparkling due to the forming tears he's been holding inside today, “You left me here all alone for the whole day making up my own conclusions”

Sauli frowned sadly.

“Do you have any idea how much my heart ached when that guy came here and said he has an appointment with you while I didn’t even know where you are”

“This thing has nothing to do with him like I said” Sauli whispered and made circles to Adam’s shoulder with his thumb.

He took a deep breath.

“Your mom called me this morning”

Adam’s stomach jumped. Sauli could see him go little pale and unease.

“W-what?”

Sauli nodded.

“You lied to me, Adam. Bad time. I gave you alcohol, I photographed you while you touched yourself, I gave you a blowjob. I’m living with you. I used your photo in a public advertisement without her permission. She could sue me”

Adam’s breathing quickened, like he was starting to hyperventilate and panic.

“No, shh. Shh. Don’t do that, it will hurt you” Sauli said, still stroking his shoulder. He knows how that feels.

Real panic and anxiety is such an awful feeling.

“You caused more trouble by lying than if you would’ve told me the truth”

“No. Then you wouldn’t have even lay your eyes on me” Adam snapped.

Sauli sighed and squeezed Adam’s arm.

“Honey, it’s not about that. My feelings haven’t changed. But I am forbidden to use under-aged models. And I am also forbidden to have physical relationship with any of my models”

“’m sorry” Adam said quietly, his eyes not meeting Sauli’s anymore. 

“I know you are. But why on earth did you do those photoshoots when you knew it was wrong and it was illegal?”

Adam blinked, shedding a tear.

“Because you didn’t ask my age. And no, I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to”

Sauli pulled Adam up and offered his embrace. Adam didn’t protest, vice versa.

“Whenever is your Birthday, I will count days on that”

Adam huffed.

“Almost 3 months to go”

Sauli squeezed the warm body a little tighter.

“That is about 90 days long celibacy to me then"

Adam groaned.

“Everything is ruined” he pouted.

Sauli chuckled quietly. But soon understood that it might be true.

For his career.

"I was kidding about the celibacy. I won't be able to keep my hands off of you and you are over 16, so our sex is not illegal" 

Adam chuckled. He was very happy about that because there is no way he'd wait for 3 months.

“Maybe if you talk to your mother, things won’t go as badly”

Adam shook his head frantically.

“No. She said I was a mistake”

“Your father then?”

“ _No_ ” Adam said even more firmly and Sauli felt his grip around him tighten. Sauli sensed his fear and held onto him tight.

“You’re not going to leave me, right?” Adam asked, his voice muffled due to Sauli’s tight hug.

“No. I promised you that”

Adam sagged a little in relief. He couldn’t deal with it. He needs someone who really stands beside him.

“Sauli?” Adam said after a few quiet, but not awkward minutes.

“Hm?”

“Sorry if I ruined something”

Sauli pushed Adam off his chest and cupped his face, looking into his piercing blue eyes.

“Shh” He gently hushed and pressed a soft kiss on Adam’s lips, “Things will be fine. Don’t worry. Besides,,, Nobody needs to know if I have some sexy photos of you hidden in my drawer. The perfume ad is the only one I worry about”

“But you’re in this because of me” Adam insisted, but Sauli kissed him again.

This time longer, and carefully pushed Adam down on the bed on his back and laid next to him, throwing his leg over Adam’s hips.

Their lips smacked together wetly when Adam sucked on Sauli's upper lip. Sauli hummed quietly, touching Adam's chest. 

He pulled away shortly after.

“Then I am. I over-reacted to this, I'm sorry. I'm not the first or the last one to do this kind thing"

Adam smiled and looked into Sauli’s blue eyes. Sauli was staring at him back, admiring the beauty before him.

_I love you._

“You’re cute” Sauli beamed instead.

“You’re cuter” Adam beamed back, "You know what?"

"Hm?"

"I fingered myself" Adam whispered like it was some kind of secret he didn't want anyone to hear although the house was empty. 

Sauli groaned, rubbing their noses together. 

"You did, huh? And how was that?"

"Amazing" Adam grinned.

Sauli chuckled and cupped Adam’s face again, his smile fading at the same time as Adam’s did.

“ _Mä rak_ … I mean. I love you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaw, maybe things will get better.  
> .... Or will they?


	12. The first critic pt. 1

Adam stared at Sauli like he had just lost his mind. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

Sauli felt his own stomach churn when Adam said nothing and he started to think he shouldn't have said anything in the first place. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have... I mean I don’t- Of course you won’t…” Then he started babbling in a strange language, Finnish obviously, and made no sense to Adam anymore.

Adam pressed his finger on Sauli’s lips to hush him. Sauli shut up right away and raised his eyes so he could look at Adam.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean” Adam said bluntly.

That was when Sauli moved Adam’s hand down on the bed and laced their fingers.

“I never do”

Adam frowned at him, confused.

“You’re actually saying that you… “

“Love you” Sauli finished and reached up to cup Adam’s face between his soft palms, “I do. I would never joke about that”

Adam placed his hand on top of Sauli’s and nuzzled into his soothing touch. His words were caught in his throat though he so much wanted to tell Sauli what he’s feeling for him.

Adam pushed Sauli down on the mattress on his back and lay between his legs.

Sauli stroked his bare back and looked at Adam in the eyes, his heart beating faster than ever before. Adam's weight on top of him like this was something he was happy to bear.

Adam pressed their lips briefly together, enough to send that tiny electric jolt down Sauli’s spine. 

“I’m falling for you too… And it scares me” Adam whispered after he pulled away, tracing his fingers along Sauli’s wet lips.

Sauli frowned and reached up to brush Adam’s falling fringe off his forehead. 

“Why?” He asked softly, stroking Adam’s hair back to keep it from falling on Adam’s face again.

“Because I don’t wanna get hurt again…“ Adam admitted. His voice sounded so vulnerable, so much pure honesty.

Sauli knows a big part of Adam’s past, at least he hopes so, and he understands his fears.

You can never promise that you won’t ever leave one. Because you can never know.

Sauli knows life is unpredictable.

“I promise I will never hurt you on purpose” he whispered to Adam and kept petting his hair.

“How can I know?” Adam asked, feeling himself a little pathetic but his trust has been betrayed too many times. It's not easy to build it again.

“You can’t” Sauli said, “But you’re gonna have to trust in me when I say I won’t hurt you or do you wrong. That much I can promise” He added and gave a small smile at the man hovering above him.

Adam dropped his head in Sauli’s neck crook and kissed his skin.

Sauli smiled at him when he lift his head back up and looked into Sauli’s big blue eyes.

Adam smiled back and leaned in to kiss Sauli’s lips again.

With a sigh they both closed their eyes automatically as soon as their lips made contact. Sauli’s tangled his fingers in Adam’s hair and Adam’s curious hand travelled down Sauli's side, and he slipped his fingers under his shirt.

Sauli hummed approvingly at the feeling of Adam's hand on his skin.

Their kiss quickly turned more passionate, a little dirty, lots of sucking and moaning involved. 

Sauli tried to pull Adam even tighter against his body with his other hand that was groping his back. Adam moaned softly, rubbing his hand against Sauli’s side.

But damn his shirt was definitely on the way.

He pulled away, sitting up and left Sauli crave after his lips.

"Take if off" Adam said, a hint of impatience in his voice as he tugged on the hem of Sauli's shirt.

Sauli chuckled and sat up enough to throw his shirt off with Adam's help.

"Oh Jesus, your body... "Adam said in awe, placing his hand on Sauli's abs. They were so firm and hard. 

Adam lowered himself back down, slipping his tongue inside Sauli's mouth.

Sauli moaned, surprised, swirling his tongue around Adam's, feeling his blood rush down below his hips in seconds. Adam was so demanding, curling his body to him. 

And the feeling of Adam's cock slowly hardening against him turned him on so fucking much. Especially when Adam ground his cock against him, desperate for some friction.

But to Adam the hard, rough denim of Sauli's jeans against such a sensitive skin was too much, and he pulled a way, hissing quietly.

He sat up between Sauli's legs. Sauli stared at his swollen, rosy lips. His own lips looked probably the same, though. 

Adam wrapped his fingers around his own cock, stroking slowly. Sauli’s eyes immediately dropped down to watch the scene. 

Adam smirked, feeling himself wanted and desired under Sauli’s intense gaze, and it made him much more comfortable and confident in his own skin.

Sauli reached out, trying to touch, but Adam slapped his hand away.

“Ooh, feisty” Sauli hissed, making Adam feel even more cocky.

"Only if you take these off" He murmured and tapped Sauli's belt buckle.

“Fair enough” Sauli smirked and dropped his hands down to unbuckle it. He pushed his pants lower but they were skin tight and hard to take off.

Adam didn't show any signs of patience, he just gripped Sauli's jeans and pulled them off. His socks came along.

As soon as Sauli's pants ended up on the floor, Adam laid back down between Sauli’s legs, the contact much better now.

He’s naked. Sauli’s naked too. He’s naked with Sauli.

“You promised me I could…” Sauli pouted, but forgot what his point was when Adam grabbed his legs and pushed them wide open, grinding his big cock against his ass.

Sauli gasped and wrapped his legs around Adam’s waist.

Adam let go of his legs since he got the message, and placed his hands on both sides of Sauli’s head to keep himself up.

Sauli instead reached to grab Adam by the head and pulled him down, maybe a little roughly, to kiss him.

Adam kissed him back more than willingly, not minding the slight hurt the yank caused.

His hips were in continuous motion as he ground against Sauli and moans were escaping all the time, the sounds of lust filled the empty room.

Sauli’s hands slid down Adam’s back and grabbed his ass.

He started by gently stroking and petting but it soon turned into groping. 

Adam’s cock was nudging his perineum and entrance all the time, and the want of feeling him inside was boiling in Sauli’s stomach.

But he lets Adam set the pace they’re going to follow. In everything. And you can never be too careful with sex.

Adam also wasn’t wearing a condom. 

Sauli un-wrapped his legs and his strength was a surprise even to Adam when he flipped them over.

The disappointment was clear on Adam’s face. Like someone had just taken away his favorite shoes.

“Condom, preparing, lube, long foreplay, feelings. There are a lot of things that need to be taken care of before that . I want it to be a perfect experience to you. We have no rush” Sauli spoke softly, caressing Adam’s cheek.

Adam flushed pink, biting his lip and avoiding Sauli’s gaze. It was like he was just told that he doesn’t know anything about anything.

“It’s like you don’t even want me…” he said, feeling highly embarrassed.

Sauli turned his head by the chin and has never looked so serious in his life.

“I do. And god how much I want you..." He hissed, his tone almost believable in Adam’s ears, “Believe me. But I can see how unsure you still are. You need to be fully comfortable with me until we go further…”

Adam frowned, but Sauli didn’t give him a chance to say anything. He dropped his hand down to touch Adam’s belly.

Adam sucked in his guts automatically. Not to mention how badly he wanted the scars not to be there.

Then he realized.

He let out a huff in disbelief and tried to get up, but Sauli pushed him back on the bed.

“Don’t go anywhere. We aren’t finished here” He frowned playfully, dropping his hand down to wrap his fingers around them both.

He pressed his forehead against Adam’s and looked down, admiring the way their cocks were all nuzzled and lined up to each other.

Adam looked down as well, biting his lip and fighting against the soft moans which were about to escape all the time, his previous annoyance gone in a flash.

Sauli started to move his hand, the drag unpleasantly dry so he flipped his palm over the heads to collect some pre-cum.

When he started jacking them, he pressed their lips together again.

Adam let his moan fall into their kiss, tangling his fingers in the longer hair Sauli had on top of his head.

The friction he felt was driving him crazy. This is the most intimate moment he has ever experienced.

Hearing Sauli’s ragged breathing and his moans, and feeling his touch, his cock, was over-whelming.

Adam dropped his hand down too, placing it on top of Sauli’s. Nothing is better than doing it together.

He fixed the grip, squeezing a little tighter now and set a faster pace.

Sauli let out a moan which told that it was good for him too.

Adam’s hand around his, his soft lips playing with his, hungry for it, his hot erection against him and the heat of his body so close to his...

If the feeling should be put into words, it could be nothing but indescribable.

Adam’s back arched, a gasp falling from his sweet lips as Sauli ran his thumb over his leaking slit.

He pulled away from the kiss, panting against his wet, swollen lips,

“Do that again…”

Sauli did, a small smirk on his face. That quiet shudder of Adam’s breath says so much.

“Oh god…” Adam whimpered, grasping Sauli's back with both hands now. 

Sauli nibbled on Adam’s earlobe, the puffs of his breath sent shivers down Adam's spine.

“You have no idea how good you make me feel...“ He whispered, loving the whimper Adam let out, “Yes, you, Adam… Can you feel how hard I am for you?”

Sauli kept jerking their cocks with a firm grip, thrusting his hips a little to push himself against Adam’s cock and through the fist.

Adam groaned, his orgasm building up behind his balls.

“I’m gonna come…” He panted, dragging his nails down Sauli’s back, still careful not to hurt him although the scars there are completely healed.

Hearing that from Adam’s mouth gave a big boost to Sauli.

“Fuck, Sauli… ”

Adam came with a moan he muted by biting on Sauli’s shoulder, come splattering everywhere between them, some dribbling down Sauli’s shaft, making the touch so obscenely wet.

It took only a few seconds for Sauli to come after feeling Adam’s warm cum on his dick and by watching Adam’s face, filled with pleasure. 

He slumped on top of his lovely man, not caring a bit about the mess between their hot bodies.

It took a moment until their heartbests settled and their breathing calmed down. 

Sauli pressed a gentle kiss on Adam’s jawbone, chin and finally on his lips. He looked down at Adam's relaxed face, the afterglow was simply beautiful.

“I wish I could stay like this forever” Sauli said, smiling.

“Cheesy” Adam giggled, but his heart was definitely leaping at Sauli's words.

“I know” Sauli beamed and kissed the tip of Adam’s nose.

Then Adam glanced down between their bodies and made a face. The cum was already cool and sticky to their skin.

“Ugh, gross”

Sauli chuckled and reached out towards the nightstand, pulling out a few tissues from the box.

He wiped their bodies the best he could. Adam flinched a little when he accidentally touched his spent cock with the tissue. 

“Sorry” Sauli smiled apologetically and threw the tissues on the floor.

Adam cocked an eyebrow at him. Sauli doesn't usually toss his stuff around, he's often very strict about it.

“Too tired to reach for the trash can” Sauli groaned and let his head down to rest in the crook of Adam's neck.

“You’re not because I need to get up and go to shower” Adam said, pushing Sauli’s small body off and sat up, then got down from the bed.

Sauli whined at the loss of Adam’s body heat for a few long seconds but then he pushed himself up as well. 

He picked up the dirty tissues from the floor and threw them in the trash can near his nightstand. 

“Hey Adam” he called out when he watched Adam was about to go to the bathroom.

“Hm?” Adam smiled, turning around at the door to face Sauli. God, his smile. Sauli doesn't really want to break his beautiful trance. 

“I hate to break your beautiful mood but…" Sauli said and sighed, enought to tell Adam he was not going to like what he was about to hear, "You need to see your mother"

Adam sighed. 

"Sauli-"

"I insist. Please. I'd like to say do it for yourself but you wouldn't care so I'm gonna say do it for me" Sauli said gently, his eyes firmly on Adam, "Please"

“Fine” Adam snapped and turned his back to Sauli again. If Sauli really wants him to see his mom, he will. 

Adam's heart jumped out of his chest when Sauli suddenly was against his back, his arms going around his middle.

“Jesus fuck” He yelped.

“What kind of fuck?” Sauli asked with a playful frown, “Jesus? Tell me about it”

Adam rolled his eyes at him, but couldn’t help a small smile.

“Dork”

Sauli giggled and pushed Adam into the bathroom and to the shower stall. Somehow he ended up there himself too though he was not surprised.

~♡~

 

"Hi mom" Adam said quietly when Leila opened the door. Leila watched him for a long moment, mouth gaping open in surprise. She did not expect to see Adam in here. 

"Oh, Adam!" She then sobbed and pulled him into her tight hug, "Where have you been!?"

Adam was quiet. Damn Sauli for making him do this. 

"Is dad at home?"

"No" Leila told him when she pulled away, "He's at work. So you can come inside and let's talk" She said and gestured him to follow her.

Adam really didn't want to but he followed her inside anyway, and straight into the kitchen. She sat him down at the dining table and went to grab him a cup of tea.

Like she knew he was coming. She had all the water ready and a plateful of cookies was on the table.

Adam rolled his eyes. If Sauli has something to do with this, he'll pinch him so hard when he gets back to him.

She brought him his favorite cup and a teabag.

As she sat down, Adam immediately pulled out the paper Sauli had given him and handed it to her.

"What's..."

"Just fucking sign it"

"Don't talk to me like that" She firmly said, furrowing her eyebrows together but took the paper anyway.

Adam sighed and crossed his arms defensively.

Leila's eyes softened. She could see hurt in his eyes.

"What's up with you? What have I done?" She asked, not really understanding what seems to be the problem with him. Last time she saw her, he was okay.

"Had a gay son? Kept a 'mistake' instead of getting rid of it while you could?" Adam spat. 

Leila tried to figure him out but couldn't. She had no idea what he was talking about. Where does he pull these things? She has always been fine with his sexuality unlike his father.

And Neil doesn’t’ even know yet.

But her heart broke when she saw that Adam was biting back a cry. The same way he did when he was a child, lower lip trembling.

"Adam? What has happened?" She asked, the paper forgotten.

Adam shook his head, unable to talk and not wanting to burst into tears in front of her right now. He never has. Except as a child.

He took a deep breath, held it in for a minute, relaxed himself and exhaled. He knows holding back isn't good, but sometimes it's a better option.

Leila knew he’s not going to talk but she didn’t want to just let it go. He’s her son after all.

Maybe a little warm up conversation could work.

"So,,, You've gotten a job? From that modeling agency?" Leila asked when she read through the paper Adam had given him.

Adam nodded.

"It's not an official paper. It's just for Sauli. He needs to know I am allowed to do the work. And this paper is valid until I'm 18"

Leila didn't read it twice, she signed it right away and gave it back to Adam.

"I'm glad you got a job. I thought you liked singing more though"

Adam shrugged and finally picked the teabag, and dipped it in the boiling water in his mug.

"Well I do, but a job is a Job"

Leila gave him a gentle smile.

"But be careful with those modeling dudes. I don't think you want to end up doing some porn"

"Mom!” Adam gasped, shocked to hear his mother talk so openly about it, "I'm not a baby and don't worry, I'll skip that industry. Geez"

Modeling is fine. Even nude photos are fine but porn… No. Just no.

He appreciates the porn actors of course, he has spent many jerk off sessions watching them. 

But once he forgot to clear the browser’s cache. His father found the pages later and that was when the downhill started.

"I know. You're a great kid"

"Mooom, don't call me a kid" Adam whined and pressed his palms on his ears.

Leila laughed.

"Okay. A boy. A man. But don't think I will forget. Why are you so upset? You’re clearly mad at me"

Adam heard her through his palms and his small smile disappeared from his face. He removed his hands from his ears and took the teacup into his hands.

"Have you ever wished that I was different?" Adam asked, staring at the cup in his hands and the way the water changed color.

Leila frowned, little taken aback by the question.

"What'd you mean?"

"I'm gay and I won't change. I will never get a girlfriend, I might never be able to give you the joy of being a grandparent. I will never going to be screwing girls"

Leila tried to reach Adam’s hand, but he tugged it away.

“I was here once when you and dad had a fight. To dad, I’m just a mistake. To you, I am an accident. You guys didn’t even want me” Adam said, his words burning a hole in Leila’s heart. That was not what he meant and she could never see it that way.

“And my sexuality is a flaw ”

Leila sighed, closing his eyes.

Not a wonder he hasn’t seen Adam around. 

“Dad found me from the porch right after your conversation. He slapped me, pushed me down on the hard ground and told me to never show my face here again. So I haven’t” Adam said quietly, remembering the incident, “I spent hours in the pouring rain, feeling like I would freeze to death. I was crossing the road when a car almost drove over. There were no other pedestrians. But the driver managed to hit the break just in time. So I did not die after all”

At this point, Leila had her eyes closed and she was covering her mouth, trying to contain herself from crying. Oh dear God, what if Adam would have gotten seriously hurt?

“Who was it? Did he or she drive away? I swear if I ever get the person in my hands I will….”

“No” Adam rushed out, frowning, “The driver was Sauli. He took me in his home and let me take a hot shower, gave me some dry clothes and let me stay overnight”

Leila was a little surprised. Not in a good way, necessarily. 

"You went into a random person's home just like that? Did he do something to you?"

Adam’s mouth fell open in disbelief. How old does she think he is? 15? 

“God, no. My father keeps abusing me and only thing you worry about is that one single person who took care of me that night?" 

Leila sighed, her hand falling from her mouth.

“I’m sorry. You're right. It just pains me to hear all this. I thought you lived with your boyfriend”

Adam bit his lip and shrugged.

“I did. Then I moved in with Danielle beause he cheated on me. Now I live with Sauli”

Leila’s eyes went wide.

“You live with your boss?”

“Yeah. And no, I won’t move away until he kicks me out” Adam said determinedly. Leila gave him a small smile, much to Adam’s surprise.

“I’m glad you have place to stay in”

Adam nodded, not saying a thing.

The conversation Adam had heard though… Leila can’t let him go without clearing things out a little.

“You know… About that what I said… We didn’t exactly plan you. We had decided to have kids, but maybe not that soon. We weren’t ready to take a responsibility of another human life. When I found out I was expecting you, the abortion didn’t cross my mind. Not at once. I’ve loved you ever since” She explained, and Adam dared to look at her under his brows. He still looked somewhat vulnerable to Leila's eyes.

When she reached over, Adam let her grab his hand.

“I still love you. I love you and your brother most in the world"

“Love you too” Adam quietly said, feeling a little better than a few moments ago, and gave his mother the smallest smile.

“And no, you’re not a disappointment. By flaw I meant that it’s just a one thing along hundreds of things and that your father should be able to accept it” 

Adam sighed, shaking his head. 

“He never will. But I don’t really care. I don’t need his acceptance to be who I am”

Leila nodded approvingly and smiled at her son. Adam smiled back at her.

“So we’re good?” She asked.

“Yeah”

Leila got up from her chair and walked to the other side of the table, pulling Adam into a tight embrace. Adam thought she’s going to squeeze the air out of his lungs.

“Mum” He grunted, gasping for air, "Can't breathe"

“Sorry” She said and let go, returning to sit on her chair.

Adam sipped his tea which was getting a little cold already, but almost choked on it when Leila talked again;

“Remember to stay safe. In everything. Keep condoms in your pocket”

Okay, so now the famous parental sextalk? No thanks. He’s had one with her long time ago and that was enough for him. 

“I will, thanks” He said, blush spreading on his cheeks.

Leila still had a few things she wanted to know.

“This Sauli guy… He’s your boss but does he happen to be something else too?” She asked because she wanted to know if her son is dating someone special.

Adam bit his lip again, not really sure if he should tell her or not. He doesn’t believe that she’ll use it against them, but if she accidentally tells it to his father, Sauli might get into trouble.

“Uhm… He’s my photographer. And a friend. Nothing more”

Leila nodded slowly, her face telling that she didn’t quite believe him.

“If you say so”

Adam glanced the clock on the wall and gasped.

“Oh shit. I need to get to the photoshoot” He said, gulping down the tea and wolfed down a few cookies.

He kissed his mother on the cheek and didn’t waste a second.

Perfect. He’s so going to be late.

But maybe Sauli will forgive him.

“Bye, mom!” He yelled from the hall before leaving the house.

 

~♡~

 

Sauli did not tell him about this kind of photoshoot. That little shit.

"Someone is going to see!" Adam squeaked, awkward, afraid and the long grass was tickling his naked skin in an uncomfortable way.

It was the third time Sauli had to put down his expensive camera and look at his gorgeous model.

"Nobody is going to see. I've done thousands of photoshoots in here" Sauli groaned and walked to Adam who once again moved and the hair which Sauli wanted to fall on his face wasn't in the right place anymore.

"This fucking grass tickles my balls!" Adam hissed.

When Sauli reached Adam, he put his hair back how he wanted it to be.

"You're so cute when you're angry but please, stop moving. I only need a few photos" Sauli said and let go of Adam's hair, "Don't move now"

Sauli got back on his shooting spot and snapped the first photo.

Adam standing naked in a grass field where the grass barely reaches high enough to cover his crotch is highly arousing .

His hair was down and undone and his skin was free from any make-up. Just pure nudity and natural beauty. 

"I really need to scratch my balls" Adam declared which made Sauli sigh dramatically, and then chuckle.

"You can scratch without telling it to me. But don't change your face" He said and kept snapping photos even though Adam was scratching his crotch. 

Sauli moved a few steps to the right to get a different angle on the photos. This way he brought up the power of the ambience.

"Look up. Turn your head to the right" Sauli guided, Adam following his instructions, "Too much. Okay now it's good"

Adam was doing great. He has gotten so comfortable and experienced. Adam was a total pro of the facial expressions. 

Adam was a beautiful piece of art. He doesn't need to do much to look photogenetic when he poses. 

"Such a pretty boy you are" Sauli sighed in awe, letting his camera down, "Now,,, let's move there on the shorter grass and you will lay down" he said and pointed the patch of grass that wasn't growing so high.

Adam still felt shy walking around all naked. Partly because Sauli was watching all the time and he had a camera, but also because someone could just pass by. So he covered his crotch with his hand as he moved.

Sauli watched as he lay down, eyeing the ground for possible bugs. 

"Turn on your back" Sauli said and walked to Adam. Adam turned, his hand still protectively over his crotch. He did not need any bug bites to his dick.

Sauli's feet were now on both sides of Adam's hips and he watched him through the camera.

He nudged Adam's hand away from his crotch with his foot. 

"I won't photograph your genitals" He said, even though it was a highly tempting idea when he looke down just briefly. 

A dark shade of copper colored hair was sprouting around his flaccid cock which lay snugly on his balls. Sauli _really_ appreciates the sight.

"Now throw your hands over your head" He said then.

Adam obeyed, feeling exposed but oddly sexy lying like that.

"Look right here, and watch the camera like you want it to fuck you"

Sauli realized it was a mistake to let Adam look at him through the camera like that. His hands almost started trembling when Adam stared at the flashing camera like he was craving for it.

"Wanna fuck me?" Adam asked huskily, maybe to get in the mood even more but also because he wanted to tease Sauli.

"Jesus Christ, Adam" Sauli murmured and zoomed a little, wanting to get a really good shot of Adam's sex face.

Adam smirked and licked his lips, tracing his tongue slowly along his upper lip.

"I know you desire me"

Sauli shuddered and tried to steady his shaking hands. He wanted Adam to be sexy but god damn he's disturbing his focusing.

"Change your tone or I will get hard. Show me your innocent face but you still secretly want to be fucked hard and fast"

Adam bit his lip like an innocent school girl, the face still the most mischievous Sauli has ever seen.

He's getting beautiful shots. Adam is a piece of gold.

Adam turned his head to both sides, closed his eyes at the times and looked absolutely the most hottest innocent person on Earth.

"Good. One set more. Get up and put on your pants" Sauli said and browsed through the photos he had just taken. He expected Adam to get up and going but when he saw him from the corner of his eye, he was still lying down on the grass. 

Only now he was on his tummy, eyeing the grass closely. 

"There's a lady bug in here" He informed. 

Sauli was so not paying attention on the lady bug but to Adam's fabulous ass. He really wanted to capture that but didn't want to invade Adam's personal space like that. 

He agreed to frontal photos, not his backside. 

Though Sauli would _really_ appreciate a photo of Adam's ass in his drawer. He could fantasize burying his cock between those firm cheeks. Or how he would spread them apart and expose Adam's hole. 

Sauli shuddered. 

Adam finally got up and went to grab his jeans from where he had stripped them and pulled them on without bothering to put his briefs on.

He noticed Sauli was flushed. 

“Leave the fly open and come here” He heard Sauli say, a little thickly. 

He walked to the spot where Sauli wanted him to be in and waited for more instructions from him.

“Take a few steps to the left”

“Mine or yours?”

“Yours. Like always” Sauli smiled.

Sauli looked through his camera again, but it still didn’t look the way he wanted it to look like.

He pursed his lips and pondered for a minute, rubbing his chin.

He wants the sunset to be in the picture but he doesn’t want it to be the main thing. And taking a regular golden section photo is too familiar to Sauli.

He has taken a lot of them and he wants to bring some new perspective to his photos.

“I could stand in its way. It would bring up my silhouette”

When Sauli glanced at him with a serious face, Adam gulped. Maybe throwing in ideas when Sauli is thinking isn’t a good idea.

“Not bad idea at all. But the shine is still so bright that you would melt into the picture and I couldn’t bring up the seduction of your open fly" Sauli said then, “Good idea really. But it should be taken a little later”

Well it was a good try, Adam thought. Adam loves the way Sauli’s face looks when he’s thinking something so hard.

So focused and intense.

Then his face changed.

Adam could imagine a small light bulb light up above his head.

“You need to lay back down. That way the long grass givee you a ‘cover’ from the sun but some of the light still gets to touch your body” Sauli said, suddenly excited again, “Lay down just next to that long grass near that big-ish rock”

Adam glanced at the way Sauli was pointing and made his way there.

“Lay down, your head towards the longer grass”

Adam did as he was told by Sauli and lay down.

Sauli nodded approvingly and walked closer. He looked at Adam through the camera lenses again and hummed.

“This is better” He said and put his camera on the ground and crawled to Adam.

He put his hair well again, wiped off the grass that has gotten stuck on his skin, then started fumbling with his belt and fly.

He pulled the fly open just enough to reveal some of his pubic hair and made sure the belt looks good and doesn’t point awkwardly towards the East and West.

Adam glanced down.

Sauli looked like he was solving a very difficult puzzle or task. Sometimes Adam’s belts can be like that though. With many ‘complicated’ buckles.

Adam jumped with a surprised hitch of breath when Sauli squeezed his crotch.

“Couldn’t resist” He smirked and got up, returning to his camera.

He needs a few shots for Ashley, she asked for them. But then he will enrich his own folders again.

Sauli had to stand on the rock. He was too short to shoot from the angle he wanted without any lift.

“Seduce me, but do not touch your package because I will get a few shots to Ash. And don’t worry I will edit your scars off if you don’t want her to see them”

Adam nodded. He most definitely doesn’t want them to be seen by anyone else except Sauli.

Adam only needed to use his eyes to seduce. It did all the seduction Sauli wanted. Sexy and simple but not too much.

“Good. Smirk a little. I want Ashley to drop her panties when he sees these photos”

“Thanks for the image” Adam said wryly but pulled on his best smirk anyway.

Sauli chuckled, realizing that the image he gave probably wasn’t on the top 10 of sexiest things which make him smirk.

He snapped a few photos, satisfied with the way they looked. Adam looked good and the lighting was good and everything was simply good.

“Now I want a few for me to jerk off to”

Adam rolled his eyes at him with a smile. The thought of Sauli jerking off to his photos made him feel a little cocky.

“You can touch your package now” Sauli said like it was obvious he needed to do that. Adam instead placed his hand on his inner thigh, right beneath his balls.

“What if I don’t want to?” He teased, making Sauli gasp.

“I’ll make you”

“How?” Adam asked, sensually rubbing his inner thigh. He was teasing himself as much as he did Sauli but he's enjoying it so much.

Sauli snapped a few photos before replying;

“I can talk dirty until your dick whines for a touch”

Damn. Sauli does know how to talk dirty in a way that it doesn't sound too porny or corny.

“Changed your mind yet? You’re already hard, aren’t you? Just thinking about me talking some dirty stuff turns you on”

Adam closed his eyes, Sauli’s words echoing in his ears.

He used his other hand to rub his right nipple while the other one was still touching his inner thigh, but was a little closer to his crotch than before.

“You’re a sucker for my dirty talking, aren’t you? I know you are”

“And you are a sucker for my dick” Adam said back, “But you’re not getting it”

Adam opened his eyes to see Sauli gasp at his words. He cocked his eyebrow at him.

Sauli got down from the rock and put his camera on the ground.

He attacked Adam’s body, making Adam squeal and laugh at the sudden contact.

They rolled a few times on the grass like fighting school boys, but ridiculous grins were written on their faces.

“You did not say that” Sauli murmured then, his fingers tracing the skin near Adam’s open fly.

“What if I did?”

Sauli squinted his eyes at him and leaned close to his ear.

“You, pretty one, just lost a blow job opportunity”

Adam huffed.

“I take my words back” Adam smirked and Sauli bit on his earlobe.

“I knew you would” He said and slid down the slim body but pulled away the very last second. No way he's going to blow Adam in here. 

"In my car. Now" He whispered.  
 

~♡♥~

   
"Brian, stop zooming the pics. He looks flawless" Sauli said when he noticed Brian was zooming on Adam's face. Fortunately Sauli had photoshopped the wounds from Adam’s stomach off.

It was Adam’s will.

Adam felt uneasy when he watched Brian’s intense study on his face. He knows he has some scarring on his cheeks.

Sauli glanced at Adam who was now touching the skin of his face and Sauli thought he has never seen him look more vulnerable.

Sauli shook his head in disbelief and walked behind Brian’s chair.

"Seriously, stop it. You're hurting him" he said firmly with a quiet voice only for Brian to hear.

"It's not just his skin, man. I don't think he's thin enough to model for us regulary"

Sauli's head perked up towards Adam only to see he wasn't sitting on the couch anymore, but was storming out of the room.

Sauli took a deep breath.

"Now what you did"

"What? Why is he allowed to be so imperfect when nobody else is?" Brian asked and gestured towards the walls which were covered in framed pictures of the models of their agency.

Sauli sighed.

"Each one of them is imperfect, all of us are. Adam is still young and his skin will change a lot. But I have feeling you only say that because it's Adam we're talking about" Sauli said, not caring if others in the room heard him, "Who the fuck are you to be so rude to him?"

Brian was a little taken aback by that. He does this to make sure the photos are good enough to send for the client. 

"Why are you always defending him?" Brian asked, getting up from his stool to stand right in front of his boss.

Maybe not the best idea to threaten his boss this way. 

"Because no one else is" Were the words Sauli said before he left the room to follow Adam wherever he went.

Most likely to Sauli's office. Other rooms are usually full of workers or models.

Sauli found him from his office, actually from the storage room. He was pouting like usually but now for a very good reason.

"Don't let it get to you" Sauli said right away and stepped closer the couch, "Models hear that every day. They just need to build a thicker skin"

Adam sighed and stared at the ceiling.

"Well, I'm not a model. And it's creepy how often the models, especially the females, look so skinny. I can’t understand how someone can push them to that condition" Adam said quietly and glanced at Sauli, "Why can't people be perfect the way they are? Why do you and this whole industry feel the need to push them through that path?"

Sauli got on the couch and straddled Adam's hips. Any other time Adam would have gotten distracted by the pressure on his lap but not now.

"You're right. Girl models are often unhealthy and skinny. But not in my agency if you've noticed"

"But your male models are all ripped and gorgeous when I'm just-"

Sauli placed his hands on Adam's stomach and didn't let him finish the sentence.

"Don't even say it. You're gorgeous. Brian is strict because he knows the world of fashion but he's not an asshole"

"But he's right?"

Sauli sighed. Well, Adam is not a typical male model but he's so much more.

"I'd heal my acne if I could. I would get rid of my extra pounds and believe me I have tried" Adam said, lump appearing in his throat. Sauli saw his eyes get glassy and puffy.

"Listen, baby...” Sauli stared, grabbing Adam’s hands in his, “You have a very beautiful body. I wouldn’t take these photos if you didn't"

Adam didn’t say anything.

“Do you want me to show you how freaking beautiful it is?” Sauli asked, sliding his hands back down on Adam's tummy, underneath his shirt.

“Depends on what that means…” Adam said quietly but dared to look into Sauli’s eyes this time. Sauli leaned in to press a kiss on Adam’s lips, his fingers gently stroking the skin of his belly.

“It means we'd make love…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Shall they?


	13. The first critic pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a little longer than normally!  
> Why? Because I watched Supernatural season 4. That shit is awesome.

"Now?" Adam asked, confused, and highly nervous but really excited about the idea.

Sauli chuckled lovingly at his face.

"No, not here. Unfortunately I have work to do. And you have a photoshoot with Ashley"

Adam's heart sank just a little. Right. The bitter taste of reality came back in just a few seconds. He was so ready to have Sauli’s body now.

"I end my day at 5. You probably have that photoshoot between 5 and 6. So I go home before you and set everything up. Then when you come home we can have dinner, bath together and just talk. Then we can have sex"

Adam smiled,

"Sounds good to me"

Sauli kissed him on the lips and smiled. Even at the age of 20 he still feels butterflies every time he kisses. Maybe it's Adam.

He has more experience in sex than Adam so the pressure was on his shoulder but he didn't let it bother him. The anticipation is killing him.

There is not a single body part Sauli doesn't want to taste when it came to Adam, and he’s more than willing to let Adam explore him as well.

Sauli flushed lightly at his own thoughts.

Adam noticed and couldn’t help a small smirk because Sauli just doesn’t get embarrassed or blushed that easily.

“What are you thinking?” He asked with a smug face.

“Things. Like how I want to keep that promise of touching each one of your freckles with my tongue”

Adam smiled, still partly cocky.

“Won’t fight against that. Sounds very good to me”

"Sounds good to me too" Sauli murmured, "Now stop the pouting, and return to us. We need you there" he said and got up, pulling Adam up as well.

Adam groaned, but obeyed.

If Sauli wasn't his boss he probably would’ve gotten fired for so many times. But fortunately his boss doesn’t want to kick him out of the company.

When they came back to others, Brian had stopped zooming in the pictures since Sauli forbade him.

He had picked his favorites, the ones he thinks are the best.

“You know,,, sorry man for being so blunt. Sometimes I almost forget that models actually have feelings. I could’ve expressed myself in a little nicer way” Brian said, printing the copies of the photos.

Sauli glanced at Ashley who lifted her hands up like she had nothing to do with this unusual Brian.

“I did not tell him to say that” She said, “I’m just as surprised as you”

Sauli cocked an eyebrow at Brian. Since when, he has been apologizing his words? But it seemed to make Adam a little happier, so.

“Have you guys been asking which models will take a part on the runway show?” Sauli asked them all and sat down on the couch next to Adam.

Tommy picked up a folder from the desk and furrowed his eyebrows as the browsed it.

“Suvi is one of them. I heard that Terrance might take a part as well. Everybody wants to take a part but I guess we need to choose the best because you guys know how big and awesome this show is?” Tommy asked and the loud ‘YES’ came out of everyone’s mouth.

Except from Adam’s. He has no idea what's going on and why is this particular show so big. 

"What's the big deal?" He dared to ask Sauli.

“Coco Rocha, Heidi Klum, Giorgio Armani and all the big names will be there. We’ll be promoting some of Giorgio’s clothing and also Alexander McQueen brand. This show might boost us on the world charts. We’re big in LA, but we need to head to New York too. This is something we’ve been waiting for” Sauli explained enthuastically.

Adam nodded, slowly. Quiet ‘Ohhh’, leaving his lips. Sauli was so adorable though when he was this excited.

This is a show he won’t take a part on. He’d be way too nervous with all the pressure and he really doesn’t want to fuck up everything since this is so “big”.

“Adam will take a part” Sauli declared just when Adam had decided not to take a part. All the heads perked up and all the eye pairs looked at him like he was out of his damn mind.

Adam watched him with a horrified expression.

“What? He’s good at walking on stage, he’s tall, he has this charisma in him"

Tommy looked a little unsure as he wrote Adam’s name on the papers. But since Sauli says so, it has to be that way then.

Adam glanced at Sauli, shaking his head frantically. Sauli tapped him on the knee and smiled, sure about his opinion.

“You’ll be fine! I go to photograph now. Then I check the new promotion requests” Sauli informed loudly, to them all, then he turned to Adam and pressed his lips against his ear.

He whispered;

“Then I'll go home. I'll make some dinner, decorate a little and set things ready so they are in reach when we need them… “

Adam hid his blush in Sauli’s neck.

“Any wishes? For dinner, for bedroom, for anything?”

“Only one”

“Do tell me”

“I want my condoms Ultra thin… ”

He has heard they are the best ones. Sauli tangled his fingers in Adam’s hair and smiled.

“As you wish”

 

♥♥♥

 

Sauli couldn't stop smiling when he waited for Adam to come home from the photoshoot.

Maybe he's being a little over-romantic but he can't help it now. This is an experience worth everything.

He had set up candles in both bathroom and the bedroom, ready to be lit up. It's so damn cheesy but he really wants to try everything to get Adam to calm down. Obviously he'll be nervous.

Sauli pulled out his phone and sent a message to Adam to tell him everything was ready and he could come straight home when his day ends.

Ashley probably drives her.

Sauli exhaled and put his phone aside after Adam replied and put it on mute to keep it from interrupting then any more later.

He glanced himself from the mirror. He had some regular every day clothes on but he had chosen pants that hug his ass nicely.

He sat on the couch and waited.

 

♥

 

When Adam arrived, they had dinner and talked.

Adam told Sauli about the photoshoot with Ashley, Sauli told Adam about the upcoming Fashion Show and they just chatted in general.

About their romantic relationship, their work relationship and stuff like that.

In the bath they mostly just relaxed.

Sauli also showed Adam a few tricks about a scalp massage.

It helps to relieve the stress and on top of that, it helps the hair growth. Adam was trying them on Sauli when a sudden confession from Sauli made him drop his hands.

“You did what?” Adam gasped.

Sauli snickered and turned around to face Adam.

“One time, Adam! I was young and I had a great body and I needed money so why not to do one sex video?”

Adam frowned, shocked.

“Just say it Sauli, you made porn”

“I did not. One video. That’s it. I had just turned 18” Sauli said like it was no big deal.

“And you tell me this because…?”

Sauli sighed and moved himself even closer to Adam, spreading his knees and threw his feet on the sides of Adam's hips.

“Because we’re getting to know each other more deeply. I bet you have some things you regret or things that you haven’t told me”

Adam went silent.

“I thought so. It’s past, Adam”

Adam nodded. Past.

He needs to accept the things that are long gone but he isn’t sure if Sauli will accept his past and even present.

“Now baby, don’t let this night be ruined because of that” Sauli spoke and cupped Adam’s face, “This is our night…”

Adam smiled and leaned in, pressing a sweet kiss on Sauli’s lips. Sauli smiled after Adam pulled away, immediately leaning back in to get another kiss.

Adam giggled, obeying.

He wrapped his arms around Sauli’s smaller waist, just holding him while they kissed.

Slowly and deeply.

Sauli pulled away shortly when Adam suddenly cupped his ass. Adam smirked and managed to lift Sauli on his lap.

Such a close contact combined with the anticipation of upcoming, set their minds and bodies on fire. There was only one way to quench that desire.

Sauli tangled his fingers in Adam’s hair and Adam pulled Sauli’s smaller body even closer, no space left between their naked bodies.

Their moving caused the water to splatter on the floor next to the tub and it could be really hazardous for them once they get up.

Sauli somehow realized it but he was too caught up in listening to Adam's soft sounds escaping. Those little gasps and quiet moans he probably didn't even realize he was making.

“We’re gonna make a tsunami” Sauli then chuckled, pulling away. Adam glanced over the edge the tub and nodded, chuckling.

“True. So can we please now get out of here, get dressed or not, and watch that sappy romantic movie so we can finally have sex?” Adam asked, pressing his forehead against Sauli's.

Sauli nodded, watching intensively into Adam’s eyes. The question is why do they still have to watch that movie?

"So, you're still up for the movie part?" Sauli asked.

"Yeah, I guess... We don't have to watch it but-"

"No, I get it" Sauli smiled gently and kissed Adam on the lips once more, "However you want to"

Sauli got up, getting out of the tub and held onto Adam’s hand when he got up too. Sauli placed his open palm on Adam’s chest when they stood before the tub.

Adam’s heart was beating so fast.

 

♥♥♥

 

After the very cheesy and crappy movie, they were finally getting into the real business. Well, maybe they had been touching each other during the movie too.

Sauli pushed Adam down on the bed on his back and smiled at him. Adam gave him a small smile back.

Sauli leaned down and captured Adam's lips into a heated kiss. He pressed his lips on him hard and curled his whole body against him.

Adam kissed back with just as much force. Almost subconsciously their hands begun to seek for bare skin from underneath the clothes.

"Have you decided which way do you want it?" Sauli asked quietly, murmuring the words against Adam's lips, giving Adam the possibility to choose.

"I want you in every possible way... We have the whole night" Adam replied, his voice somewhat hoarse.

Sauli nodded, agreeing.

"I promised to show you just how beautiful your body is. And how much I love it" Sauli whispered and tugged on the hem of Adam's shirt, "Off?"

He sat back on his heels when Adam sat up and raised his arms, allowing Sauli to remove his shirt. They both giggled when it got stuck around Adam's head. 

The second his shirt hit the floor though, Sauli removed his own as well.

"You're just so gorgeous" Adam sighed in awe.

"You too" Sauli whispered and shifted Adam's legs apart and lay him down on the bed again, settling between his legs.

He pressed a sweet, brief kiss on Adam's lips, on his chin and on his jawbone. He then latched his mouth on the sensitive skin of Adam's neck. 

Adam curled his whole body into it, dipping his head back and grabbed a handful of Sauli's hair as he stimulated his sweet spots.

It wasn't hard for Sauli to figure our where to focus on. He already knew most of Adam's erogenous zones but he can always learn more.

Every gasp and moan was a reward he was craving after. 

He moved his body lower so he could kiss Adam's collarbones and finally suck onto his nipple. He rubbed the other one between two fingers. 

Adam was biting his lip, focusing on just how much Sauli made him _feel_.

Sauli slid his mouth off the pink bud with a wet pop and continued his way lower. With every kiss he inched lower and lower, past Adam's belly button, until he finally reached the waistband of his jeans.

Adam opened his eyes and looked down when he felt Sauli's mouth leave his skin. Sauli was settled on his stomach between his legs, facing his genitals. 

Sauli noticed Adam looking and he gave him a sultry smile, gently rubbing Adam's cock through his pants. 

Adam pushed up into his touch, giving Sauli a questioning look,

"What are you waiting for?" He asked impatiently.

"Nothing, I just-" Sauli started and moved his hands on Adam's stomach, "I'm just trying to understand these" he said, a little carefully, and brushed his fingers gingerly over the scars.

Adam grew unease but tried to conceal his sigh,

"Don't try to understand them _now_ " He said, "Please?"

"I know. I won't" Sauli said and gently nuzzled Adam's tummy. He kissed the skin near his happy trail, then slowly unbuttoned his jeans. 

He pulled down the zipper and started working the pants off Adam's legs. Adam raised his hips and pushed them lower so Sauli could pull them off completely. 

"Well, someone is getting all eager..." Sauli smirked once he was settled down again and started petting Adam's dick through his underwear.

"Yes and very impatient” Adam hissed.

Sauli chuckled and found the head of Adam's cock. He leaned down to kiss it.

Adam bit back a groan,

"Stop the teasing and let's get naked"

Sauli smirked, almost like he didn't hear what Adam said, and pulled his briefs lower. A few inches and the head of his dick was already peeking out. 

“Sauli” Adam said in a warning tone when Sauli just breathed on his sensitive flesh. 

"Fine by me" Sauli finally grinned, pulling Adam's briefs off his legs in one swift move. 

Surprisingly, Adam didn't feel any shame or embarrassment as he lay on the bed, his legs spread before Sauli. 

On the contrary, he felt so wanted and loved at the moment. Desired in so many ways.

He watched Sauli take off his own pants and briefs in a hurry, tossing them somewhere in the room.

Sauli placed his open palms on the sides of Adam's knees, slowly stroking down his inner thighs. His eyes were locked with Adam’s all the time as he moved lower.

Sauli gave a few tugs to his cock once he reached it, enough to make Adam's hips move. Then he gently touched his balls, rubbing them with his thumb. 

Adam grasped the sheets when Sauli pressed his fingers underneath his balls and massaged his perineum. He didn't use that much time on it, even though it felt all kinds of amazing. 

Sauli went even lower but Adam grabbed his wrist before he could reach his hole. Sauli looked surprised at first but quickly understood.

"You okay?"

"Will it hurt?" Adam asked, so quiet Sauli barely heard him.

Sauli gave him a gentle smile, dropping his hand on the bed for a second.

"Probably a little. But I promise to be gentle. Try to relax and it'll be easier" He said. 

Adam bit his lip, nodding.

"Can you do it while you kiss me?"

"Of course. If that helps you" Sauli smiled, "We just need to find a good position"

Adam was quite a lot taller than Sauli and finding a position where Sauli could kiss him _and_ reach his hole was challenging. 

Adam finally lay down on the bed and Sauli lay next to him on his side, pulling Adam's leg over his hips. 

Sauli grabbed the lube from the nightstand drawer and spurted some onto his fingers.

"This might feel a little cold" Sauli whispered when he dropped his hand down to Adam's entrance. Fuck, he's actually touching Adam's hole.

Adam gasped, it really felt so very cold. It warmed up pretty fast as Sauli rubbed his hole, not pushing in, just touching it.

"Relax, baby" Sauli said and leaned a little closer to Adam's face. Adam pressed their lips together, knowing that it will help him relax a bit.

Sauli rubbed his hole, gingerly pressing his fingertip inside. He shuddered at the thought of being inside of Adam, feeling his tight heat around him.

Adam dropped his head against Sauli’s shoulder when he felt the first fingertip inside of him. 

“You okay?” Sauli asked, just to make sure.

“Yeah… Just give me a moment” Adam panted, trying to relax himself so he wouldn't automatically clench shut.

Sauli nodded, listening Adam take deep breaths.

“Take your time” Sauli whispered, tracing his lips along Adam's chin, "No rush"

Feeling Adam relax, Sauli pushed in the second fingertip and gently circled his hole. He took his time letting Adam get used to the feeling of something penetrating him, even if it was just two fingertips.

Kissing did a lot, it helped Adam relax and remember it was Sauli whom he was with. Because no one has ever kissed him like that.

Sauli started to push his fingers deeper, slowly, noticing that small hitch in Adam’s breathing. He pushed further in and Adam's jaw was clenched tight by now. 

He stopped, giving Adam the time he needed again. 

"Go on..." Adam whispered then. Sauli pushed his fingers deeper and curled them expertly.

“Oh god…” Adam gasped, his whole body jumping in surprise, "What was..."

Sauli smiled proudly, rubbing on that spot. 

Adam whimpered in pleasure. He had no idea he had such a sensitive spot inside of him. In theory he knew, of course, but this was so intense. 

“Like that?” Sauli asked, feeling a little smug.

Adam didn’t answer, probably because he wasn't able to. He waited until Sauli pulled his fingers out again, then he grabbed Sauli by the shoulders and flipped them over.

Sauli seemed a little confused by the move. Adam gave him that look. The same one he uses in his photoshoots to seduce him.

“You’re not ready yet” Sauli stated, dropping his fingers back down.

“I know. But I want to see you work there… “

"Oh" Sauli chuckled and slid between Adam’s legs, nudging them wider open. Adam obeyed happily and his eyes darkened even more when Sauli kissed his knee and started working on his hole again.

Sauli reached out his other hand and pressed it onto Adam’s stomach, just to caress him.

Adam let his own hand down too, placing it on top of Sauli’s. It meant more than he can put into words. 

Sauli circled Adam’s hole again, this time with three fingers.

Adam felt the stretch, all new and partly scary. He automatically squeezed Sauli’s hand.

Sauli knew it was a whole new feeling for him. He pressed another kiss on the side of Adam’s knee and thrust his fingers deeper, feeling Adam slowly loosen around him.

Just a few minutes and he’ll be inside of hat tight heat.

Inside of _Adam_.

 

♥

 

After gentle and long preparation, Sauli tore the condom wrapper and tapped Adam’s chin with the open wrap.

“Put it on me”

Adam smiled sheepishly and dropped both of his hands down to work the condom on Sauli's length. He almost dropped the condom once he pulled it out of the wrapper. 

The light in the room wasn't that bright and it was really tricky to see what he was doing in addition to being generally shaky and a little nervous. 

"Squeeze the air out of the tip" Sauli reminded when Adam's hands were hovering above his cock. 

Adam bit his lip, focused, and rolled the condom on Sauli's length, doing as Sauli told him to do and squeezed the air out of the tip. 

Sauli reached out for the lube, spurting some on his hands and lubed his cock. And to really make sure there won’t be any injuries, he rubbed some more on Adam’s entrance as well.

Adam cocked his eyebrow at him.

“I don’t want you to hurt” Sauli said with a silly pout and put the lube aside, "You know, it'd be easier if you lay on your stomach"

Adam shook his head,

"No. I want to see you"

"Okay then" Sauli whispered, lining himself up between Adam's legs. He grabbed Adam by the pits of his knees and gently pushed his legs towards his shoulders.

Adam flinched a little at the new kind of stretch he felt but he got used to it in a few seconds. 

"You ready?" Sauli asked, holding onto his dick and rubbed Adam's hole with the tip. A heat wave ran through him as he comprehended that he was going to penetrate Adam in a few seconds. 

"Yes" Adam whispered, holding on to the headboard of the bed. Sauli leaned down, holding his body up with his free hand.

"Sauli?"

"Yes?" Sauli wheezed, the tip of his dick already squeezed in the heat of Adam's body. 

"Be gentle" Adam said quietly, a really unnecessary plead to Sauli's mind. 

"Of course" Sauli whispered, pushing further into the tightness around him. He followed the expressions on Adam's face and stopped immediately when Adam clenched his teeth. 

"Hurts..." He simply said, a hand on Sauli's hip to keep him from going any further. 

"Relax" Sauli whispered, "It'll be a whole lot of easier if you calm down"

Adam took slow, deep breaths, forcing his body to relax. He knew that if he wanted to stop, they obviously would. But he didn't want to _stop_ , not at all. 

He heard Sauli grunt in what he thought was discomfort. He looked down at him to see him look a little unease. 

"You alright?" He asked. 

"Yeah, of course, don't you worry about me" Sauli said, "You just feel so good"

Gosh, it must be a torture for Sauli to just be inside of him half-way and not able to move. 

Adam reached out to pull Sauli closer, deeper inside of him. It still stung a little but it wasn't unbearable pain, more of like new, exciting kind of good pain.

Sauli's eyes rolled to back of his head once inside. He pulled back out almost instantly then again back in.

Adam's mouth fell open when Sauli repeated the movement a few times. He felt himself relax with Sauli’s slow thrusting. 

The pain was fading away on every thrust. 

"You,,, Were definitely worth the wait" Sauli managed to say, nuzzling the side of Adam's face, "You're perfect"

Adam pulled Sauli down by his head and smacked their lips together. Sauli hummed in pleasure, forcing his tongue inside Adam's mouth.

Adam whimpered, curling his arms around Sauli's neck. They savored each other’s mouths, their tongues bumping together.

Sauli swayed his hips in a way that made Adam jump in surprise. Sauli just hit him _there_.

Tiny electric jolts ran through Adam’s whole body. Sauli’s cock nudging that spot with force was even better than his fingers. 

"Oh..." Sauli smirked, repeating the same jerky and deep thrust.

Adam wrapped his legs around Sauli's waist and shamelessly moaned into his ear.

"So there?" Sauli asked smugly.

"Yes. There…” Adam groaned.

Sauli started thrusting again, little faster this time. He moved his mouth on Adam's neck, feverishly sucking on the fragile skin. 

Adam reached down to touch his desperate cock, but Sauli swatted his hand away.

"Don't,,, I want to get you off”

Adam groaned, but obeyed. He might come too soon before Sauli if he touched himself now.

"I really want to look at you, beautiful…" Sauli panted, nibbling on Adam's neck,"Can you ride me?"

Adam bit his lip, the thought making his dick twitch but it also made him feel a little insecure.

Sauli could just look at him while he does everything. He doesn't even know if he'll be good at it.

After thinking about it for a while, Adam nodded.

Sauli smiled, reaching down to hold on to the condom when he pulled out from Adam’s body. He missed the heat right away.

He lay on his back and Adam straddled his body.

“This might feel a little different. You can stop anytime and we'll change the position” Sauli told Adam before taking a hold of his cock and kept it steady when Adam slowly started to lower himself on him.

His face twitched when he felt Sauli’s cock inside of him, but he still lowered himself fully down.

Sauli put his hands on Adam’s thighs and stroked them soothingly.

"You look so sexy like that"

The words encouraged Adam to move once down. He rolled his hips, feeling Sauli’s cock rub him from a different angle. He felt so much bigger this way.

“You feel so amazing...“ He panted, his hips doing a slow but steady motion.

Sauli groaned, squeezing the skin of Adam’s thighs, throwing his head back on the pillows.

He wanted to tell Adam how good he feels. How incredibly wonderful but his words were caught in his throat. All he could think of was the tight heat surrounding him.

Adam started bouncing a little, Sauli’s dick hitting his prostate now. He felt even more encouraged by Sauli's sounds.

All the groans and moans pouring out were just for him.

As he sped up his motions, Sauli reached out to grab his hips and thrust his own pelvis forward. Sauli’s cock sank even deeper, ripping out a gorgeous moan from Adam’s throat.

“You’re incredible…” Sauli murmured, his voice shaky.

He willed himself to open his eyes. After all he wanted to look at Adam but all the pleasure he felt was feeling almost forced his eyelids down.

Adam opened his eyes as well.

They locked their eyes. The smile Adam gave Sauli made his heart leap. Adam looked absolutely gorgeous like that. He didn't seem unsure of himself, he quickly had figured out the riding. 

Sauli was expecting him to try the squat-riding first because he personally thinks it's easier but Adam was doing just fine with sitting down on his lap, pushing his body up with his thighs, then lowering back down. 

Sauli was not ignoring the impressive cock that swayed between his legs.

Looking back at his face, he saw droplets of sweat on his forehead, his cheeks flushed... Just beautiful.

Sauli dropped his head back, his face filled with pleasure. He groped Adam’s thighs, ass and sides, really everything he could reach.

“Sauli… Please… “

Sauli opened his eyes to look at Adam again.

“Touch me…”

Sauli dropped his hand down on Adam's cock, collecting the moisture from the slit of Adam’s dick. He twisted his fist at the head and spread the pre-cum on the shaft, then just kept his hand still and let Adam thrust into it.

Adam’s moves turned erratic. 

Sauli couldn't help but moan, heat coiling low in his belly. His orgasm was building up strong behind his balls. He watched the oozing tip of Adam’s cock push through his fist on every thrust.

“I’m gonna come...” He wheezed out, squeezing Adam’s thighs near his ass. 

“Please do…” Adam panted softly, placing his hand on top of Sauli's and tightened his hold around his cock.

Sauli tossed his head back, hips jumping off the bed and almost knocking Adam off his lap. Adam wobbled, laughing almost, and grabbed the bed to keep himself steady. 

He kept bouncing on Sauli's dick until Sauli moaned, Adam’s name falling from his lips as he came.

Hearing and seeing Sauli reach his pleasure because of him, made Adam feel so warm inside and so proud somehow. 

Sauli opened his eyes so he wouldn't miss Adam cumming. He knew he should pull out but he just couldn't yet.

He watched Adam’s face change from tense to completely relaxed as he freed his orgasm with a deep, blissful moan.

His come splattered on Sauli’s torso, on their joined hands and on Adam’s chest. His orgasm was more powerful than ever before.

He kept gasping when stroked his cock through his orgasm. 

Sauli couldn't get enough of this man, he just couldn't. 

When Adam was too sensitive to be touched anymore, he freed Sauli’s hand and let their hands drop from his softening flesh.

Sauli took a hold of the base of his own dick and held onto Adam's body with the other hand when he pulled off. 

Adam slumped on the bed the second Sauli was out of him, sweaty and messy and so damn satisfied.

Sauli tossed the condom into the trash can and lay on top of Adam’s hot body. 

Who cares about the mess, they just did _it_ for the first time together.

“You were amazing...” Sauli murmured, pressing a few kisses on Adam’s cheek.

Adam smiled lazily and tangled his clean hand in Sauli’s hair.

“Thank you. So were you”

 

♥

 

Adam's mind was racing. He just had sex. 

No, he made love. With Sauli.

And he's never felt more loved and cared for than he does now. He was afraid at first but everything turned out to be good.

More than good. He’s feeling amazing and he most certainly didn't want to move. Neither did Sauli.

But eventually, they had to.

Sauli reached out to grab a tissue from the nightstand and rolled off on top of Adam.

He wiped Adam's stomach and chest first the best he could, then his own.

He tossed the dirty tissue on the floor and slumped back on top of his boyfriend.

"My god, Adam... "

Adam chuckled. He wanted to ask was it good. Did he do alright?

But he didn't ask. He doesn't need to know. It's enough that Sauli seemed to have a great time.

"You are wonderful" Sauli whispered, stroking Adam's sweaty, damp hair.

Adam smiled sheepishly.

“You too”

Sauli captured Adam’s lips into a lazy, sweet kiss. Adam sucked on his lower lip and stroked his back.

“I loved every second of it” Sauli whispered and pressed their foreheads together.

"You did? I didn’t even know that,,, Being on ‘bottom’ could be so good”

Sauli smiled.

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it. It put some pressure on me to make your first time good”

Adam cupped Sauli’s face and kissed his lips once more.

“I did. So much. I’m a little sore but it’s okay. I knew it would hurt a little”

Sauli stroked Adam’s cheek and nodded.

“First time usually does but it's often only because it's hard to relax" He said and kissed the tip of Adam's nose, "Hope it doesn’t affect your walking though”

Adam cringed. Damn that show.

"Naw, I don’t think so. And if it does, at least people know that I had the best sex”

Sauli snickered and gently slapped Adam's biceps,

“You’re awful" He said but grew serious almost right away, "I experienced the most intimate act with you and I don't know how am I able to keep my hands off of you"

Adam smiled, still a little sheepish.

"Then don't" 

"I really won't. I want to feel you inside me. Don’t think this night is over yet…” Sauli said and rolled them over.

 

♥♥♥

 

The next day Adam went to his mom to ask if she wanted to come and see the runway show.

It was Sauli’s idea actually but Adam wasn’t against it at all. He’s glad he cleared things up with his mother because he needs her support in his life and now probably more than ever. 

This would be a great opportunity for her to see that this job is not bad. And Sauli is a professional in his job.

So are the other people working it the agency.

To his luck, he bumped onto his father on the porch before he managed to get inside though.

He didn’t seem too happy about seeing Adam sneaking in their corners again.

"Let me in. I have a right to see my mom" Adam insisted rather loudly, and for the first time he was actually fighting back.

Eber huffed and shook his head in disbelief, crossing his arms. 

"I don't think she wants to see you. And I don't want you to come here and defile Neil with your ridiculous clothing and make-up. You are wearing heels"

Adam wanted to punch his father's lights off. He has no rights to talk to him like that.

"These are wedges" Adam bitched back.

He made a mistake it seems. It didn't take a second until Eber grabbed him by the throat and kept him against the pillar of the porch.

“Don’t be a smartass”

“Let go of me” Adam managed to get out, which actually made Eber loosen his hold and finally let go.

Adam held his throat, coughing. 

His father nudged him, intention to push him down from the porch and force him to leave but Adam only fumbled backwards instead. 

His felt his ankle twist painfully and his yelp startled Eber as well. Mostly because Leila could hear him since she was inside. 

"Ouch" Adam frowned, lowering himself down on the stairs and rubbed his foot.

"Shut up" Eber then said, "Stop whining and get the fuck out of here"

Adam glanced up,

"Why? Because mom could hear me? She deserves to know what kind of son of a bitch you are" Adam dared to say and tried to get on his feet, hissing a little at how bad his foot hurt.

"Take that back" Eber said, stepping down and closer to Adam.

Adam shook his head. Eber was about to tear him up and probably throw down on the ground but Leila came between. 

"What on Earth are you doing?!" She sked loudly, protectively standing in front of his son and looked up to her husband with fire in her eyes.

When Adam saw his mom, he was afraid his father would hurt her too. But it was very unlikely, he never has.

“Don’t let him near my brother” Adam said.

Leila crouched down and took Adam's foot on her lap, immediately unzipping the boot and pulling it off to avoid the scenario where his ankle swells and the boot can't come off.

“He won’t hurt him, you know it” She hushed him, “But you need to show this to a doctor"

"No. I need to walk on a runway in a few hours" Adam insisted, "It's one of the highlights of Sauli's career. I can't cancel it now"

"How do you plan to walk with this?" Leila asked, not really believing in the chances.

With her help Adam got up with a noticable struggle.

"I ask for some kind brace. I can't let Sauli down now"

"At least come inside and let me give you some ice" Leila said, still holding onto Adam's arm.

"No" Adam insisted, "I'm not going into that house when he's there! Never again”

Leila felt so bad. Worse than ever, actually. Of course she believed Adam when he said his father is abusive but he never thought he was like this.

She always just thought of a few slaps. Which of course is also unacceptable. 

“Please mom… Just drive me to the agency” Adam pleaded, tears in his eyes, “I need to be there. It means everything to Sauli…”

Leila bit her lip, feeling physical pain to watch her son it the state he’s in.

“Sauli, huh? His opinions and expectations seem to matter a lot"

Adam shook his head.

“No, mom. He does. He's... important. And not just because he’s my boss…”

Leila seemed to understand him.

“Love, isn’t it?”

Adam nodded.

“Come on, then” She gently said and pulled her car keys out of her pocket, “Let’s go”

Adam grabbed his boot from the ground where his mother had throw it and made his way at the car.

This might turn out bad.  
 

♥♥♥

 

Adam had not told Sauli about his ankle. He's not going to let Sauli down now. Getting his agency to New York is his dream.

He knows how important this whole show is to him.

Sauli was applying the make up on Adam’s face and he couldn't stop the dorky beam.

"What?" Adam asked, sensing Sauli's grin even though he was looking at the ceiling.

"Nothing. I just need to use this very thick concealer under your eyes because you have dark circles here"

Adam nudged Sauli on the leg with his good foot.

"Shut up. Your fault for keeping me up the whole night"

Sauli chuckled and put down the concealer brush when he was done.

"Well, I didn't see you resisting at all" He grinned and started to apply powder under Adam's eyes to set the concealer. 

Adam huffed.

Sauli kept smiling even when he finished the concealer process. He picked up the big powder brush and applied one layer to keep the foundation from rubbing off too. 

"Okay. I'm done with your base. Sutan will add your eye make-up" Sauli informed. 

Adam pouted and his arms went around Sauli's small waist.

"I don't like other ones touching my face"

"Sutan is a professional. Besides, your skin looks flawless if that's what you're worried about" Sauli said, stepping aside so Adam could see his reflection from the big mirror.

Adam gasped.

"H-how... how did you..." He whispered, running his fingers over his baby smooth cheeks, "Where are my..."

Sauli stood behind Adam's stool and hugged him from behind.

"Moisturizer, primer, concealer, foundation, more concealer, only a lighter one, powder and wham"

"Well, that's a lot of shit" Adam grimaced. 

Sauli kissed the back of his head and sighed.

"That's the routine for every model here. It's not like your skin is any worse. You just need to see it yourself too"

"If you say so" Adam said, letting go of his face. Sauli says the sweetest things. 

"I'll go to check the other ones and put my camera ready. You need anything?"

Adam bit his lip and glanced down at his foot, flexing it the best he could.

"No"

"Okay. Sutan will come in a minute" Sauli smiled and pecked Adam on the cheek, then made his way to the door.

Adam took a deep breath;

"Sauli?"

"Hm?"

"Can you tell Ashley to come here?" Adam asked, hoping Sauli won't notice his nervousness.

Sauli frowned,

"Uhmm, okay. Why?"

"I uhm... Want to see the pics she took of me yesterday. She is going to show them for those people after the show after all"

Sauli cocked his eyebrow at him but nodded. Usually the photographer shows the photos right after the set if the model wants to see them.

"Okay, sure. I'll tell her" Sauli said, leaving the room. 

Adam ripped his boot off his foot the second Sauli had gone. He whimpered, leaning down to rub his ankle.

He carefully slid down from the stool and limped to the couch, sitting down on it. He saw Ashley rush into the room with her camera.

"I am so sorry! I really thought I showed you these photos" She panicked and ran to sit down next to Adam.

Now Adam feels bad for lying. He doesn’t want her to get in trouble because of him.

"You did. It's not that I just- You need to help me out" He said, and only then Ashley noticed his anxious face.

"Huh? What's wrong?" She asked, putting her camera down.

Jesus, she already had a heart attack.

"I twisted my ankle" Adam informed. Ashley's mouth dropped open.

_"What?!"_ She squaked, her hands flying up to her hair in horror.

"I'm sorry!" Adam said, "I need to walk I can't let you all down I just need-"

"Okay, just. Hold on. Shut up" Ashley said, closing her eyes. This is bad. This is one of the worst possible things that can happen now.

Everyone is so interested in seeing Adam because Brian has been saying that he’s the rising star.

"I'll put a support brace on it. You only have two walks" She informed and rushed to the medicine cabinet.

Adam took his sock off and rolled up his pant leg.

"You can do this, 'kay?" Ashley said as she crouched down before Adam and started to put the brace on Adam’s foot.

Adam seemed so nervous Ashley thought she really needed to comfort him.

"You know, when Sauli and I started working together, and we walked on the runway for the first time, Sauli had a broken arm" She said, looking up at Adam, "We were a little,,, well, underdogs. We were both ‘petite’ and on top of that, Sauli's arm was like made of wood" 

Adam chuckled.

"Both of us got booked again. You don't need to walk perfectly with a hurt foot but try to get the attention elsewhere. People won't notice" She soothed and finished putting on the brace.

Adam nodded, smiling. Maybe he will make out of this alive after all. He can bear the pain for that short amount of time.

For Sauli.

“You have such a gorgeous face and a beautiful body so people will be dazed about your appearance. Trust me boo, you got this” She soothed and tapped Adam on the knee, "But don't let Brian see you. Because if he does he will stop you" 

It's his job to let them on the runway or not let them in some rare cases. 

They saw Sutan appear in the room.

"This is the new sweet baby boo?" He squealed when he noticed Adam sitting on the couch. 

"Careful with this precious baby boo. He's our favorite" Ashley beamed and got up from the floor.

Adam looked at the man under his brows while pulling his pant leg back down. His doubting and fearful face got a smiling reception from Sutan.

Ashley helped Adam on his feet and tapped him on the chest.

"You can do this" She smiled, but then frowned, "Jesus. Sutan, do something to that nasty hickey on his neck"

Adam chuckled sheepishly and brushed his palm over the said hickey. Maybe Sauli got a little excited yesterday. 

Ashley tried not to grin. She so knows who is behind it.

She just grabbed her camera from the couch and wished Adam good luck once more, then left.

Adam walked, slowly, to his stool and sat on it while Sutan put all his make-up brushes on the table.

"You don't need to worry about anything. I've been doing this for years" Sutan smiled and glanced at Adam through the mirror.

Adam nodded, his lips slightly twitching. Sutan dipped Adam's head back to see the hickey.

"Well, well, the lucky lady" He grinned and started to apply a concealer on the purple-ish skin with his fingertips.

"Boy" Adam fixed, not wanting to lead on any lies. He's not ashamed to be himself.

Sutan didn't seem shocked, on the contrary, actually. He just smiled, like he knew it already.

“Well, the lucky boy”

Adam chuckled.

“He has been eager. How am I supposed to cover this?” Sutan grinned and started to apply another layer of concealer on the love bite, this time with a brush.

Adam tried not to let his mind wander to the last night. It might be a little awkward to get an erection now since he still has his loose pants on.

“Ah, got it covered. Mostly” Sutan said and put down the concealer brush, “I will do some smokey eyes to you. I’ll use black, silver, white and maybe even put some wild color a little. I love runway shows because I can just be crazy sometimes with these make-ups”

Adam chuckled, knowing the feeling.

As a child, he loved to dress up and put on all these crazy costumes and make-up. He's surprised his father didn't notice he was wired up a little differently.

“Close your eyes, now” Sutan gently said and picked up his brush with silver color on it.

 

♥♥♥

   
Adam watched all the lights hit him. 

The spotlight was following him all the way from the beginning to the end of the catwalk and back to the beginning.

All the cameras were flashing. People are whispering and gasping. Pointing and smiling.

He is being admired. Applauded at. The pain was almost forgotten at one point.

But it was that small stair on the catwalk,,, It only took one little misstep.

Adam couldn’t help it, it stung so bad. He flinched, losing his balance. He didn’t fall completely, only fumbled a little, but it was still bad enough.

He could see the cameras flash even more enthusiastically around him.

Adam felt sick in his stomach the whole way to the backstage, feeling like he could throw up in any minute.

“What the fuck man?!”

”Adam what on Earth?”

”The fuck you just do?”

”You ruined the walk!”

Adam ignored his co-workers, holding back his bitter tears as the feeling of humiliation took over his whole body. 

He walked to his dressing room, banging the door shot after. He leaned against the door and let his sobs break free, sliding on the floor to grip on his throbbing ankle.

Only thing he heard was Sauli’s voice behind the door. He was mad, Adam could tell. And disappointed.

_”Adam let me in, now! Running away won’t make it any better!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bottom! Adam. Live with it or sue me. 
> 
> And the next chap contains what really happened in the show and in the backroom before. And we'll get some intense photoshoots and very honest and painful conversation between the boys. The haunting past.


	14. You're gonna see things you might not wanna see pt1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long again.  
> This chapter is also in two parts because I didn't want to keep you waiting.

**Previously…**

 

_"Are you excited?" Sauli asked while straightening Adam's clothes in the backroom._

_Adam chuckled and shrugged._

_"Nervous more likely"_

_His ankle still hurt and the boot was squeezing it, making his foot feel like it was throbbing in pain._

_"You'll be fine. Strut, be confident and pose" Sauli beamed and tapped his chest, "I trust in you"_

_Adam urged a smile._

_He better not fucking screw this up. He'll go through this show with gritted teeth if that's what it takes. This pain won't hold him. The whole agency counts on him._

_"I'll go now. I'll be smiling at you"_

_"'Kay"_

_He gave Adam a bright smile and left the backstage._

_Adam made his way to the other models backstage. He needed to step on the runway after two models._

_He had to limp, he couldn't put too much weight on his other foot._

_Brian noticed it and he didn't seem too happy about it._

_"What the fuck, man?” He asked, approaching Adam, “You better fucking walk properly on the runway"_

_"Have I said that I wouldn't?" Adam snapped, sitting down on the stool._

_"I can't believe Sauli lets you do this when you seem to have some problems" Brian frowned, crossing his arms as he eyed Adam._

_"He doesn't know, okay?" Adam said, frustration clear in his voice. He leaned down to rub his ankle again._

_Gosh, it really hurts. His pained face woke the sympathy even in Brian._

_"Unbelievable. If you fail this show it means that..."_

_"Stop it now, would you? I'm not failing anything" Adam groaned and straightened up._

_He will rock this. He will so kick ass._

 

♥♥♥

 

"Out of my way" Sauli said under his breath, nudging Tommy off his way. 

He's not mad. Not really. Just very disappointed. This was a big deal for them.

Really fucking big.

Adam was so good the first few rounds and then he almost fell. In the eyes of many, he didn't almost fall, but he _actually fell_.

"Sauli, calm down. It was just a small accident" Ashley said, grabbing his arm until he could storm to Adam and say things he'd regret later, "He's really sorry"

Sauli inhaled. Exhaled.

"I know. This was just a really big thing"

"I told him not to fucking fail this. I can't believe he fucked it up" Brian cursed, hitting his fist against the table.

Sauli glared at him under his brows. He understands that Brian is mad but no need to get so aggressive, it could have happened to anyone.

"I talk to him" He said, leaving the office and headed towards Adam's dressing room. He knocked. Little louder than usually.

"Adam let me in now! Running away won't make it any better!" 

He knew from the experience to wait until stepping in. But he didn't hear any reply from Adam.

But well of course Adam won't open the door when he sounds like he could beat up a truck driver. 

"Adam? It's okay. I'm not mad at you, no one is" He said, a lot more gentle and soft this time.

"I am" Came the weak reply.

Sauli stepped in carefully, slowly pushing the door open. He saw Adam was sitting on the couch, his dark make-up running down his pale cheeks.

"Hey. How did it happen?" He asked, closing the door and walked closer to Adam and crouched down before the couch, "It looked like your knee gave in"

Adam shook his head and sniffed.

"No. My knee is fine I just... I dunno"

"I think you do. Did you trip on something? Lost your balance or...?"

"No" Adam sighed and took off his sock, hissing a little at the discomfort, "Because of this..."

When Sauli saw the swell of his ankle and the purpe-ish color of it, he started to feel a little dizzy.

He has always been weak for these kind of things.

"Sorry..." Adam whispered, pulling his pant leg lower to cover the bruise.

Sauli shook away the dizziness.

"You silly little thing, why did you even get on that stage?" Sauli asked, not mad at all anymore and sat on the couch next to Adam, taking his hands into his. 

Adam shrugged.

"Because you asked me to?"

Sauli wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. This boy is so freaking... Something. Loyal at least, no doubts. 

"Does it hurt?" Sauli asked. 

Adam nodded, 

"Yeah. I can't move it much..."

Sauli made a face. That's bad. Adam should have just told him he got hurt and it would have been fine. 

"Come with me. We need to show it to our medical professionals" Sauli wrapped his arm around Adam's figure and helped him up.

"Brian will kill me if I come out of here" Adam pointed out, wiping his nose with the back of his hand, "He warned me before the show" 

Sauli froze.

"Wait he knew about your foot?" He asked, stopping in tracks and pressed a hand on Adam's chest, "And he still let you walk?"

"He saw me in the backroom. But I promised him I wouldn’t fall. And Ashley helped me with the brace and boot" Adam told him, embarrassed that they all kept things from Sauli.

Sauli huffed. Brian's work is to make sure that every model is capable to walk. He shouldn't have let him on that runway.

"How did you hurt it anyway?" Sauli asked then, supporting part of Adam's weight when they got out from the dressing room.

"Clumsy with heels"

Every pair of eyes was on him when Sauli sat him on the couch in the main area of the backroom.

"Someone go and bring Katri here. She needs to check it out" Sauli said and pulled out a small stool, gingerly lifting Adam's foot on it.

"Who is she?" Adam asked, the name didn't ring a bell.

"She’s a former reporter from Finland. Nowadays she's our health assistant AND helps with all these magazine things" Sauli explained and sat on the couch next to Adam.

"Seems nasty" Ashley grimaced and shuddered when he saw the bruising. It looked way worse than it was earlier.

“Brian and you knew about this. What the hell was up with you? You shouldn’t have let him on that runway” Sauli said, his raw honesty making Ashley flinch. He rubbed Adam's shoulder just for the heck of it. 

He didn't want him to feel bad about the incident. 

“Our other models did perfectly. Besides this was just a very human accident" Sauli said, stroking Adam’s shoulder, “Don’t blame yourself. But now you’re wiser in the future. Never, ever try to please others when you’re not comfortable”

Adam nodded.

Sauli pulled him closer and kissed him on the temple, “It’s okay”

 

♥♥♥

 

Later the day Sauli had Adam's foot on his lap while he also tried to do his paperwork. He didn't have a heart to move it since he had gotten so comfortable on the couch.

But working was way too tricky like this. His handwriting was messy since he had no table, and he couldn't use his laptop at all.

He needs to do these before Friday. And on top of that, Fluffie was whining at the lack of attention and tried to get on the couch.

He jumped on Adam's stomach.

Adam let out a grunt and thanked the god he was small or his air would have rushed out.

Bad dog habits. Adam couldn't say no to him though. He was too cute.

"You two are really disturbing my work" Sauli mumbled, his stress level increasing considerably when he thought he might not finish his work in time.

"Sorry if we exist" Adam said with a pout, stroking Fluffie's soft fur.

Sauli sighed.

"I didn't mean that. I just really need to get these done" Sauli said and wrapped his fingers around Adam's ankle.

"Careful" Adam immediately warned and supported his leg by the knee in case Sauli lets suddenly go. Which he wouldn't really do but accidents happen.

Sauli let his foot on the couch as carefully as possible and got up.

"Of course I am" He smiled and sat on the floor next to Adam's head, "You know, I also fell on the runway when I was younger"

"You did?"

"I did. And my boss was so mad at me. Treated me like shit after that. I thought that I will never walk on a runway again. But I did, many times. Once with a broken arm too" Sauli told him and ran his fingers through Adam's hair.

Adam smiled a little. Sauli is so dedicated to his work, always been. That is the only explanation how he has gotten this far in just a few years. 

"Are you mad at me?" Adam asked then, looking at Sauli under his brows.

"No. Even if I was, it wouldn't help anything" Sauli soothed.

"I’m still so sorry..." Adam whispered, looking away from Sauli's eyes. Sauli turned his head by his chin and kissed his cheek.

"'s okay. We're done with it. Brian should have stopped you, anyway. Someone could have walked your walks. But you should have told me about your ankle. When I saw your face twitch in pain right I just- I knew you'd trip"

"I tried so hard to take those last steps properly... " Adam said, focusing on Fluffie's fur.

"Don't be so hard on yourself"

Sauli got on back the couch and carefully pushed Fluffie down. 

"My place" He beamed at him and lay on top of Adam's body.

"That was mean" Adam chuckled, looking down at the dog who seemed so confused right now.

"No, it wasn't" Sauli smirked and kissed Adam's cheek, "I want you all to myself"

Adam wrapped his arms around Sauli's waist and smiled.

"Does your ankle hurt?" Sauli murmured against the skin of Adam's face.

"Yeah, a bit. Why?"

"Just thinking.... I might want to make out with you a little" Sauli whispered in Adam's ear.

"I might want that too" Adam smirked, "And since I have the privileges of an injured person, I want ice cream, lots of kisses and pampering and I might do the same to you if you ever need it"

Sauli blew a raspberry and bit on Adam's ear. Not enough to hurt, of course, but enough to make Adam giggle.

"Who said you have those so called ‘privileges’ ?"

"Me"

"You, huh? I can show you some privileges when you spread your legs" Sauli murmured, sitting up at the end of the couch, next to Adam's feet. Adam nudged Sauli on the chest with his toes.

"Doors to heaven are closed now. Sorry"

Sauli burst into an amused laughter and grabbed Adam’s good foot in his hands.

“Can we just go to bed?” Adam asked, still smiling at Sauli’s laughter.

“To have sex?”

“No” Adam said loudly, trying to nudge Sauli again, “Stop mentioning sex when I’m cripple”

Sauli chuckled and tapped his knee.

“Poor thing. But okay, we can go to bed just to sleep” He smiled and got down from the couch, "Or you can just lay down and I can ride you"

"You're unbelievable" Adam said with a smile, rolling his eyes when he pushed himself up, "Didn't you have tons of important work to do?"

"They can wait. I much rather take care of my hurt boyfriend"  
 

♥

Sauli woke up to Adam's restless moving. He blinked, trying to see something in the pitch black darkness. He could feel Adam moving and he could hear him whimper. 

"Stop it, please. Please don't... "

Sauli flicked on the bedside lamp and shook Adam by the shoulder,

"Adam, hey. Adam, wake up, you're dreaming"

"No, let me go!" Adam squirmed, almost hitting the person holding him. 

"Shh. It's me, Sauli, okay?" Came the familiar voice, much more gentle than the one in his head seconds ago. Adam felt himself calm down just. a bit. 

"That's right. Wake up, you're safe. No one is going to hurt you"

Then Adam was pressed against a warm chest. He felt himself wake up to reality, the room he was in a few seconds ago changed to a bedroom and the figure close to him was way smaller.

"S-Sauli?"

"Yes. You're with me, you're okay"

Adam clung onto him, feeling his hot chest against his cheek. Sauli petted his hair and back, gently soothing his restless heartbeat.

"You're all sweaty and timid. Who was going to hurt you?" Sauli asked quietly.

"Doesn't matter... It was not true" Adam replied, pulling away and slumped on the bed, his skin damp against the sheets.

Sauli frowned,

"Of course it matters"

Adam glanced at his own shoulder, seeing a very light, fully healed scar. Almost invisible.

"You want something? Water?" Sauli asked but Adam shook his head.

"I'm fine"

"But you're shaking" Sauli insisted, moving closer to Adam's body and stroked his arm.

Adam didn't say anything.

"Hey... Talk to me" Sauli whispered gently, reaching out to touch Adam's face, "You can tell me. You don't have to but I just thought it might help you a little"

Adam sat up and took a deep breath, 

"I can't. I feel so ashamed..."

"I'm not going to judge you by your past actions or anything that happened or still happens to you. Let me in"

Adam closed his eyes and sighed, relaxing his body. These moments are always the ones he's scared of. Baring the soul and the deepest secrets of yours to someone else.

Sauli sat up as well and rubbed Adam's shoulder.

"Hey... I'm not going to make you. I just thought it might-"

"I'm alright" Adam snapped and jerked out under Sauli's touch, "I've been bearing my burdens all by myself through the years. How could I possibly not be able to do that anymore?"

"It's not about that. It's about having someone you can share it with" Sauli insisted. He moved even closer but Adam refused the embrace.

"You don't have to hide. Not from me"

Adam held his pieces together, not allowing himself to let go and break it out. But without another word or any other 'warning', Adam burst into tears.

He didn't let Sauli touch him when he tried to comfort him, instead he just tried to get up.

"Adam" Sauli said, grabbing him by the shoulders with force, "Hey. Don't run away, it's okay"

Adam squirmed restlessly, like he was still in a dream where someone is trying to hurt him if he stays.

“Let go” Adam squeaked, his voice sharp and high pitched. Sauli knows well enough not to let him go in this state of mind. He’s clearly upset.

He needs to understand no one is going to harm him right now.

"I'm not hurting you, I try to help you"

Adam tried to ease Sauli's grip off around him by gripping and pulling on his arms. Sauli kept him tightly against his body and kissed the nape of his neck.

"Relax. Everything is okay" Sauli murmured against his skin.

Adam finally stopped squirming and all the struggling. He still panted and sobbed but didn't try to squirm away anymore.

"That's right. You're safe" Sauli whispered, "Shh"

Adam slowly relaxed in Sauli's arms, knowing Sauli was not the one who'd hurt him. Sauli swung him slowly, whispering soothing things into his ear.

When Adam was fully calm, Sauli let him go. Adam turned around to face him, his features filled with embarrassment.

"Sorry... I don't what came into me..." He said, wiping his eyes.

Sauli stroked his thigh soothingly and smiled,

"It's okay. I shouldn't have pressured you"

"No, it's fine... To be honest,,, there are a few things you should know..." Adam said.

Sauli nodded. Slowly.

“I just… Don’t know where to start” Adam admitted, his mind full of things he could say. Things he should say. 

“Maybe from the very beginning” Sauli suggested softly, reaching out to move Adam's sweaty hair off his face.

"My uhm,,, father was, I mean is, abusive and- Uh. He-"

Sauli noticed Adam still had troubles talking. He barely breathed between his words and Sauli barely made any sense out of his breathy words.

"Take a few deep breaths first"

Adam did. He took a deep breath, then slowly let it out of his lungs. He can do this. He can tell Sauli.

"So your father was abusive?"

Adam nodded.

"I'm sorry" Was the immediate reaction from Sauli.

He wished so bad that Adam’s life would have been at least a bit better than his own was. Though he already guessed that about his father.

"He uhm... Did not accept my sexuality. I think that was the main reason he ever started to abuse me…”

Sauli propped himself against the headboard of the bed and pulled Adam with him. Once settled, Adam continued,

"He threw me against a wall like a ragdoll. Might sound strange but he's actually bigger than me. He told me how disgusting I am for ever… " Adam stopped.

“For ever…?” Sauli asked.

“Being curious about gay porn" Adam finished, "He left me alone after I said that it was just one time I watched some. But later he found out, I don’t know how… But suddenly I just found myself bruised. More than just once in a month. It would happen every time my mom and brother weren’t home. I always had to say I was just abused by my school mates… Well, bullies, whatever”

Sauli took Adam's hand into his and gave it an encouraging squeeze. 

“He called me useless, worthless, filthy. I heard the same words from him that I heard at school. I remember once saying that I indeed am a cocksucker” Adam said with a small laugh, but then it faded when he remembered the consequences of his remark.

“I was used to hearing all that shit at school but at home… I had to hear them 24/7. Every time it was like a knife when I heard that I was worthless for my own father" Adam said and sighed. 

"Does your mother know?" Sauli asked, bringing his hand on the back of Adam's neck and rubbed the tense muscles.

Adam nodded.

"I don't know if she knows all of it, though. Anyway,,, the more I heard that, the more I started to believe in it. I just simply hated myself" Adam hissed, clear anger and disappointment in his voice.

"Oh, honey. I'm so sorry" Sauli frowned, resting his head on Adam's shoulder. 

"He'd slap me on my face, punch me in the stomach so hard my air rushed out...."

Sauli closed his eyes. If the list goes on he'll break his heart. He can't imagine anything hurting Adam in anyway. It literally hurts him to imagine.

"He even told me he wished I was never born. I started to wish for it too..." Adam said quietly. He sniffed, willing himself to continue even though it hurt to remember all the stuff that has happened to him.

"That was when he was keeping me against that wall by my... " Adam stopped again, frowning as he subconsciously touched his neck, "Shoulders"

When Sauli noticed that small thing he did, his heart shattered in pieces. It did not take a lot to figure out Adam's father did not held him up by his shoulders but by his throat.

"Adam...? Did he...?"

"Strangle me?" Adam asked because he knew Sauli already guessed it, "Yeah..."

Adam wasn't able to hold back his tears anymore as his mind was diving deeper and deeper into his painful memories.

"That wasn't even all” He sobbed, “Once alone with him, he'd hit me with a belt, punch me, slap me across the face. He'd literally beat me up until I was crying on the floor screaming for him to stop..."

"Come here" Sauli whispered, pulling Adam to his chest. Adam fixed his position and snuggled to the familiar, comforting warmth.

Sauli felt like he was the worst person on Earth. While it’s good that Adam talks, it must still be painful for him.

Sauli just poured salt on his wounds.

"I pleaded for him to stop... I told him I was hurting. But he didn't care about my pain..." Adam said and clung onto Sauli's warm body, continuing,

"I tried to... Kill myself" Adam said, his voice scarily honest and hoarse though he looked like he really struggled to get the words out, "Without Drake I... I wouldn't be here with you right now..."

Sauli squeezed Adam's body tighter than ever before, inhaling his scent. He's so happy Adam is here, he can't imagine his life without him even though they haven't known each other all that long.

"When Drake and I were finished, the same thought crossed my mind again. I never healed with him, he didn't really even try to help. But to me it was enough that he was there. Even for a moment" Adam explained, feeling oddly secure in Sauli's arms.

Sauli took a deep breath and pulled away, cupping Adam's face between his palms.

"You are not alone in this anymore" He said firmly, wiping the wetness off Adam's cheeks with his thumbs, "I'm here with you, 'kay? You'll be alright"

"Well you have one hell of a burden now" Adam murmured and squeezed Sauli's waist. 

Sauli just held him tighter.

"I don't care. It's better than you being alone with it, right?"

They didn't say anything after that. They didn't have to. It was enough that Sauli was right there and Adam could seek for shelter from him.

The feeling of safety.

Sauli listened to him slowly calm down while thinking where he has gotten himself into. And somehow he feels this wasn’t even all.

“Adam?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t mean to pressure you again but… What did you mean when you said your father _is_ abusive?”

Adam glanced at Sauli’s concerned face and felt like he could as well tell the truth.

“Well… I wasn’t exactly clumsy with heels, I was nudged down from the porch. And also,,, Some time ago when you almost crashed me with your car… That night,,, I didn’t fall. It was my dad who slapped me first, then pushed me so I fell on my side on the hard ground. He was the reason I moved out. I decided not to be his ragdoll anymore. I deserve better”

Sauli knew it. He was doubtful of the falling story in the first place but it might have been too soon to ask. 

“But I just… Can’t stop thinking where I’d be now if you didn’t…”Adam started and Sauli couldn't possibly let him finish.

“Hey. Don’t even say it. You’re good now. You’ll get through this” Sauli encouraged, “I know you will”

Adam nodded, hoping for that too.

“But promise me something?”

“Anything” Sauli said without any hesitation.

“Don’t tell anyone anything” Adam pressured, his tone warning even. 

As much as the thought of telling to the police was tempting, Sauli promised he won’t say a thing to anyone.

He could accuse that man for domestic violence and aggravated assault. He tortured his own son.

Sauli hugged Adam even tighter.   
 

♥♥♥

 

Adam squealed. Loudly.

"You bitch! Warn me the next time!" He shrieked at the cold water spring he got thrown on him.

Sauli chuckled mischievously and threw the empty bowl aside.

Adam was in a loose white shirt and black swim trunks. He had a brace around his ankle and a sheet covering the brace from getting wet.

Adam is just perfect for the photoshoot in water, to Sauli's mind. There’s just something so Aquarius in his persona.

"I needed to get you wet" Sauli said casually and crouched down before Adam to put his hair in place.

Adam mumbled something like why didn't you use warm water.

"Because I love how perky your nipples become in cold water" Sauli beamed and pulled Adam's shirt tight over his chest.

"Well, what a good reason to scare my dick. I think my balls disappeared" Adam said with a playful frown. 

Sauli glanced down at Adam's covered lap.

"Oh well. I'm sure they'll come back" He said wickedly, "Now I insert these contact lenses. Keep your eyes still"

Sauli disinfected his hands before taking the piercing blue lens on his fingertip.

"If these start to itch they need to be taken off immediately" Sauli said after putting on the first one. 

Adam hummed as yes and blinked a few times to make sure it was in its place. After Sauli had put both lenses on he blinked again.

"Looks stunning" Sauli sighed in awe, "My aqua man"

Adam chuckled, 

“But if I anyway need to get in the water, why did you have to…”

“As I said, your nipples are perky” Sauli beamed and pinched the other one through Adam’s thin shirt. Adam squeaked and pushed his hand away.

Sauli laughed and crawled away from him.

“Now… First you get in that pool. Then we go on the beach so shoot you with that car. The car is a total babe” Sauli said while setting the memory card in his camera which was protected by a plastic cover in case Adam happens to splash water around.

Adam rolled his eyes at the ‘babe’ part. He never understood the car love.

“If I’ll be nice and you get good photos will you join me in the pool?” Adam asked when he had gotten down in the water, beaming up at Sauli.

Sauli huffed.

“No”

Adam pouted and stood on the narrow stair on the wall of the pool because his feet didn’t quite reach the bottom.

“I’ve never made out in a pool. Or in the water in general. Except in baths and showers”

“So you want me to come down and make out with you?” Sauli asked with a smile and sat on the edge of the pool.

Adam nodded with a wicked smile but Sauli still shook his head, 

“Nope. Sorry. I won’t come in there”

“Well, what if I pull you here?” Adam asked innocently, grabbing Sauli’s leg.

Sauli wiggled his leg as a reflex and accidentally kneed Adam on his chest.

“Ow!” Adam yelped, holding on to his chest, “Geez. Sorry”

“No, I’m sorry" Sauli said right away, his hands covering his mouth because he most definitely did not mean to kick Adam, "I just… I really don’t like deep pools. I have really bad memories of deep water"

He didn’t think he’d have to face this thing anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The photoshoot will be in the next part with a moment where it's Sauli's turn to tell some things.


	15. Vertigo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay again! Been sooo busy with my exams and school projects!  
> Anyway, now I'm back again until I have to start reading for my matriculation exams ._.
> 
> Enjoy this short chap! This is kind of fulfilling one before some big stuff.

"I just… Don’t want to get in the water” Sauli said, pulling his legs up against his chest. 

Adam stopped the playful pressuring and pushed himself out of the pool to sit next to Sauli.

“What? Why?"

Sauli put his camera down from his trembling hands so it wouldn’t fall into the water.

Adam hasn’t seen him this nervous before. He wasn’t just nervous but he was actually scared and it was something Adam never expected to see. Not because it couldn't happen but Sauli just never showed any other moods than joy. 

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” Adam asked, carefully, not wanting to push it.

Sauli didn’t say anything.

Adam started to feel bad for his joking and he started playing with his rings,

“You know I wouldn’t have really pulled you down?”

Sauli took Adam’s hand into his and nodded with a gentle smile. 

“I know. I probably need to tell you something”

Adam nodded.

“When I was about 7 I couldn’t swim yet. My mom accidentally let go of me when I was in the pool. I remember splashing there but I wasn’t able to keep myself above the surface. Since that I didn’t step in to the water until I had to. Around the age of 15 I had to do this one photo shoot in the pool and later in the sea. Of course I hadn’t learned how to swim because I never got in the water”

Adam squeezed Sauli’s hand a little tighter to encourage him to continue.

“I owe my friend Niko my life. If he wasn’t there in the photo shoot I probably would have drowned in the sea. The guy who was shooting me then was actually my short-time boyfriend. I just can’t understand how he,,, He just disappeared after that incident. He didn’t try to even help me. And I haven’t heard about him since that”

Adam was shocked. He wondered how many secrets they both are hiding deep in their hearts. But at least one more thing is common between them;

Shitty exes.

“So I’m afraid of water. Deep pools, lakes, seas, whatever. I just can’t get in there” Sauli blurted out, not really embarrassed but kind of vulnerable. 

Adam pulled Sauli’s body closer to his and hugged him. Sauli didn’t care his clothes got wet due to Adam’s soaked shirt, he just held on to him.

“You’d get so much better photos in the water” Adam said, causing Sauli to pull away.

“No, Adam. Not even with you. I can’t”

“So you don’t trust me?” Adam asked, his intense eyes digging into Sauli’s soul. 

Of course Sauli trusts in him. 

“I do. I just… “

“Please. Change into your waterproof camera and come into the water. You know you can count on me” Adam said and slid back into the pool. Adam’s gentle smile could do the thing for anyone, “You don’t have to take any photos if you need to hold on to me all the time. You could just join me”

“You wouldn’t let go?” Sauli asked.

“Never"

Sauli went to change to his waterproof camera like Adam had suggested, but when it was time to go down in to the water, he hesitated.

"I... I really don't know about this..." Sauli said. Actually stuttered. Which is highly un-usual of him.

"I am not going to let go of you" Adam said firmly, "I promise. This side of the pool is not so deep, you see? My feet are touching the bottom"

Sauli has missed lot of great shots due to his water fear. He knows it would be time to get over it.

"Come on" Adam smiled and reached out his arms. 

Sauli sighed, putting down his camera for a second. He’ll grab it later when he’s comfy enough.

If he’ll get comfortable enough, that is.

He held on to Adam's arms as he hopped down. Adam could easily hold his weight in the water.

“You’re here now” Adam said gently and pushed Sauli’s body against the wall of the pool.

“Yeah” Sauli gasped, his legs going tightly around Adam’s waist, “I can’t let go”

There’s never anything funny about people’s fears but Adam found it kinda cute how Sauli was clinging onto him. He held on almost tighter than he does in bed. And that is hard. 

“Just relax, baby. I’m right here” Adam said, dropping his hands under Sauli’s ass to keep him up.

Sauli clutched Adam’s bigger body but slowly he dared to lighten his death grip, knowing Adam won’t let him go unless he wants him to.

He locked his eyes with Adam.

Adam’s blue contracts were piercing, making Sauli’s heart skip a beat, his fear suddenly forgotten for a few seconds.

Without any ‘warning’, Sauli pushed their lips together. Adam gasped in surprise but let himself melt into it although he wasn’t quite expecting it.

But no complaints from him, obviously.

“I should be working. I should be taking pictures” Sauli said then, pulling away.

Adam chuckled and shrugged.

“This works just fine for me”

Sauli huffed.

“We can save this for later. Is there a stair on the wall of the pool?”

Adam glanced down in the water and nodded.

“Don’t let go of me until I’m standing on it” Sauli said firmly and carefully untied his legs around Adam and searched for the stair with his other foot.

When he found it, Adam slowly slid off.

“Hand me the camera, please” Sauli said.

Adam reached to grab it and gave it to Sauli.

Sauli dipped the camera under the surface and commanded Adam to dive as well.

Thanks to his experience and professional skills, Sauli doesn’t always need to see through the camera to get good shots.

He just snapped a series of photos while Adam was in the water. He doesn’t like the idea of Adam being in the water for too long, so he pulled his camera up to tell him it’s fine to get up.

He browsed through the photos, deleting the ones where Adam had his eyes closed and the ones that just didn’t look good.

Adam’s pale face, thick hair and the piercing blue contracts combined with the water worked perfectly. So heartbreakingly beautiful.

“Go at the wall across me?” He asked after browsing the pics.

Adam obeyed. 

“Look straight into the camera. Try to look like… “ Sauli started, but then stopped to think of the right image, “Like the water feels like it’s making love to your body. And you want this perverted camera to see it”

Adam burst into an amused laughter but controlled it soon even though Sauli was still grinning. Adam ttangled his hands in his hair and tried to give the eyes he knew Sauli was craving for.

He sees it in Sauli’s face when he’s doing alright.

“Good. I like that” Sauli said, daring to move one step on the left to get more straight across Adam, “Don’t do that porno face. You look like you're blowing someone”

Adam gasped, laughing.

"What?? That's what I look like?"

“What? Just honest critic” Sauli smiled, putting his camera aside on the ground, “Got what I wanted”

“Already?"

Sauli nodded.

"Then come to me” Adam said all of a sudden, clear seduction in his tone but also encouragement.

Sauli shook his head.

“In your dreams”

Adam brushed his hand over his own chest, enough for his nipples to get erected. He knows Sauli loves his perky nipples. Especially when they just scream for his attention through the thin white shirt.

“You are officially a bitch” Sauli declared, his mouth almost watering. Adam with his soaked hair and clothes, water droplets glistening on his skin, those piercing eyes...

Adam unbuttoned his shirt all the way down and revealed the entire of his abdomen, biting his lip seductively.

“You enjoy that, don’t you? No matter what you do there, I won’t come there” Sauli said firmly.

“Sure?” Adam smirked, pushing himself out of the pool to sit on the edge of it. He spread his legs, and leaned back, supporting his body with his hands.

“That is so not fair” Sauli pouted, “How could I get there when I can’t even swim?”

“Well… You could trust in the fact that I’d catch you”

For the first time in his life, Sauli actually believed the said words.

 

♥♥♥

   
"You know what?" Adam asked out loud when they were lying on the bed later that night.

"Hm?"

"We're both pretty fucked up" Adam said casually and glanced down at Sauli's face, "Like,,, with totally creepy pasts"

Sauli nodded, agreeing.

"But maybe that's good. We're the same and we can understand each other a little better" He said, slowly running his hand up and down Adam's stomach. 

Adam smiled,

"I'm glad I was able to help you earlier"

"You really were. Thank you" Sauli smiled and rolled over to peck Adam briefly on the lips.

"But are you afraid of anything?" He then asked, taking Adam's hand into his as he lay back down in the pit of his arm.

Adam shook his head, thinking. 

"No I don't think so. At least not anything that’s like… Material. I'm more afraid of things like... Being judged or being alone. Growing old without anyone. I don't think I have any fears that I could just get over with"

Sauli stroked Adam's knuckles and gave him an understanding smile. Those are fears many people face. They’re more common than people dare to admit.

But there are also smaller fears that people just won't say out loud.

"Really? Nothing material?" Sauli asked, his eyes on the small harmless spider walking right next to Adam.

Adam shook his head.

"Okay. Then you can squish away that spider next to you"

Adam squeaked and stormed up in a flash, moving aside. Sauli couldn't help the mischievous laugh that escaped.

"Right here" He beamed and grabbed it by the legs.

"Don't you dare!" Adam's tone was warning since he couldn't just run away with his sore ankle. 

Sauli snickered and got up, taking the spider on the balcony and didn't even consider teasing Adam with it.

He’s afraid of venomous spiders as well. Especially if they are big. And fuck, butterflies can be creepy.

When he returned, he slumped back on the bed next to Adam.

"No material fears"

"Shut up"

Sauli laughed and cuddled close to the bigger body. Adam wrapped his arm around him and held him close. 

"I was afraid of snakes back in the days" Sauli admitted and looked up at Adam.

"Really? How did you get over it?" Adam asked. 

"Well...." Sauli started, turning on his side and in a seductive way put his hand on Adam's waistband, "You do have a quite an impressive trouser snake here... I guess I have somehow learned to handle-"

"You're awful" Adam chuckled and poked Sauli in the stomach. Sauli squeaked, laughing as he rolled away.

"I want to take a shower before we go to bed" Adam said, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

Sauli moved behind him and squeezed him by the shoulders.

"Don't hurt yourself"

"Sauli, my ankle is just twisted, not broken" Adam smiled and untied Sauli's arms around him, "It does hurt a bit, though"

Sauli kissed his neck and let go.

"Shall I join you?"

Adam got up and turned around to smile at him.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to go alone"

Of course Sauli doesn't mind but he just likes to shower with Adam. It's something that strengthens their bond. As cliché as it sounds.

But he also likes to shower alone sometimes.

"Go on, then. I want to shower before bed too"

Adam nodded and went at his bag, carefully crouching down.

Sauli watched him pick his sweats, loose top and a pair of briefs.

"I could make some room for you from my wardrobe. You shouldn't keep all your clothes in your bag"

Adam smiled and got up, glancing at Sauli, then his big wardrobe that was open.

It looked past full.

"You don't have to. You do enough just by keeping me here" He said, "And making some room for my cosmetics"

Sauli chucked. Adam has a shelf full of his stuff in the bathroom.

"Of course. And I've made some room for you here on my bed" Sauli beamed, and gestured the king sized bed.

Adam limped closer to him, and sad smile appeared on Sauli's face as he watched him walk, but it faded away when Adam nudged him on the bed to a lying position.

"I'm glad you did. Lucky it's still up after our night of sex" Adam smirked.

Sauli smirked back.

"Strong built. A total bunny rabbit was peeled out of you" He said, his voice husky as he got up and placed his hands on Adam's hips.

Adam chucked sheepishly.

"God I love that innocent smile. You innocent boy are everything but innocent. Your hips are magic" Sauli hissed, holding onto Adam's hips and briefly squeezed his ass, "You're wild"

Adam tried to look away again, his cheeks flushed. He obviously appreciates that Sauli likes him in bed but he doesn't have to talk like _that_.

"Hey", Sauli smiled, standing up and turned Adam's face by the chin, "It's something you don't have to be ashamed or embarrassed of. I love that side of you. It's your secret side and nobody else will see it except me. Yes, you're passionate in bed after getting over your shyness. And all for me. I love that"

Adam's eyes sparkled. The feeling of being admired and desired is one of the greatest feelings ever. Not having to hide or be embarrassed of yourself before the other.

"It's the so called 'Bed you'. And you don't know how glad I am to know him" Sauli said, smiling smugly.

Adam chuckled and sat Sauli back down.

"You're talking about me in third persona"

"Shut up and go to the shower or I run first" Sauli snickered, slapping Adam gently on the bum when he turned around. Adam giggled and slapped his hand away.

"Can we talk when I come back?" Adam asked, suddenly serious, "It's nothing too serious. Just something that bothers me"

Sauli nodded. Adam's 'Nothing serious' is usually very serious so Sauli became a little worried.

"Of course"

"Thanks" Adam slightly smiled and entered the bathroom.

   
♥

 

Sauli has been waiting for 40 minutes. Adam enjoys long, hot showers but for God’s sake, not this long.

"Adam? You done? I'd like to take a shower too" Sauli asked, knocking on the door even though it wasn't locked.

Just to avoid any scenarios.

"I'm done. I'll be right out"

Sauli returned on the bed and lay down to wait. A few more minutes passed before Adam stepped out of the bathroom.

All fresh, natural and so very hot hot. 

And injured. Sauli still feels bad for him every time he watches him walk. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Adam asked, smiling a little, but something from the past stabbing the back of his head. 

Sauli shrugged.

"Leave your dirty clothes there. I'll take them downstairs later" He offered kindly, watching Adam let his clothes down on the chair, then continued, "Never getting tired of your natural beauty"

"Oh. That's weird..." Adam chuckled nervously at the flattering comment and scratched the back of his head. 

Sauli frowned,

"Why's that weird?"

Adam shrugged and sat on the bed, lifting his hurt foot on his lap. Sauli stroked the reddish swell gently with his fingers and repeated his question.

"I dunno. Just not used to hearing that"

"That's not it. Tell me" Sauli pressured.

Adam sighed, brushing his damp hair off his forehead.

"My previous boyfriend,,, He. Didn't really like the way I was without make up. He was turned off by it"

Sauli saw flames in his eyes. No wonder this boy is broken in so many ways when even his own boyfriend didn't make him feel good enough.

"That's bullshit. Honestly if I knew who your ex was, I would rip his fucking balls off, I really would" Sauli said heatedly and Adam wasn't sure should he find it cute or hot. Or neither of them.

"Just let it go. It was a long time ago" Adam said, getting more comfortable on the bed, "I wanted to talk about something else"

Sauli moved Adam's foot off his lap, then lay next to him on his side, facing him. Talking like this every night is like a routine to them.

"As I said it's nothing serious. But... I want to.... T-talk about..."

Stuttering. Nothing makes Adam more nervous anymore than...

"Sex" Sauli finished.

Adam nodded,

"Am I doing something wrong?"

Sauli frowned, a little taken aback by the blunt question.

"What? No. What makes you think that?" 

"Then why do you rather jerk off to these pics than actually be with me?" Adam asked, gesturing towards the nightstand behind his back where Sauli keeps some of his pics, "Do you rather just watch me on a paper and fantasize something I can't or know how to give to you?"

Sauli was lost in a fog. He reached out to touch Adam's belly and rubbed it just for the heck of it,

"Adam, what... ? No. The only reason we haven't been doing that is that I don't want you to get more hurt"

Adam stared at the cushions so Sauli moved closer to him and held his hand.

"I really mean that"

"It's just... It was our first time. And now after that you don't even want to"

Adam is a typical teen in this thing. Worrying too much about himself. ‘Am I too chubby?’, ‘Do my love handles bother?’, ‘Maybe I’m not sexy’ etc.

"I want to. So much. But you're hurt" Sauli insisted. He rolled on top of Adam and cupped his face, "What's the deal here, hey?"

"I'm so new to this. I may not be the greatest lover yet but I'm learning. But I surely don't feel like- Mmh"

Adam's lips were sealed by Sauli's mouth. Sauli kissed him rather hard, sucking on his lip and pressing up against him before loudly pulling away,

"You're great" Sauli said, leaning close to Adam's ear, "Just the way you are. And I did try to sex you up last night but even you were worried about your foot. If you do however want to have sex now, you'll play by my rules. You can lie down and I will ride you"

All that would have made Adam shudder any other time but not today, not now.

"That doesn't improve my abilities" he said quietly.

Sauli sighed and sat up on Adam's pelvis. This stubborn young man is something that can annoy Sauli to bits with his unnecessary doubts but he also loves the universe out of him. 

He understands Adam, he really does.

"Honey,,, You don't have to impress me with sex. You've done it already" Sauli pressured.

"But I want you to feel satisfied"

Sauli rolled his eyes.

"This is the mistake you make all the time. You just can't seem to understand that you are enough to me without your continuous trying to be that"

"Right" Adam muttered, jerking his hips to nudge Sauli off. He doesn’t like to listen to the crap. At least not from Sauli.

He tried to get away, but Sauli grabbed his arm,

"You're not walking away when I'm talking to you" 

"Let go" Adam snapped.

"No! You might have been used to running away from situations but you're not running away now" Sauli said, his tone strong enough to make Adam look at him.

"This is not that serious. Adam baby, you are indeed enough to me. Stop trying" Sauli said, gently stroking Adam's bicep, "You only end up being something you're not"

Adam sighed, rubbing his face tiredly,

"I'm so used to lose people exactly because of who I really am..." He whispered, his voice so quiet Sauli hardly heard him.

"You're not going to lose me because of it. I don’t want you to change yourself for me. You're perfect. Come here now"

Adam snuggled into Sauli's warm embrace and listened to him talking.

"Of course I can't give any promises of our relationship lasting forever and stuff. But I can promise you that no matter what happens, I will always be in your life when you need me. And you certainly will always be a big part of my life"

Sauli kissed Adam's damp hair. Adam smiled and pulled away, to look at Sauli properly in the eyes.

“I can live with that”

“That’s good” Sauli smiled, squeezing Adam's face between his palms, “I should go to the shower”

He couldn't deal with the way Adam looked like that, all squeezed between his palms and his cheeks looked so chipmunkey, so Sauli let go, laughing.

Adam grinned, pulling Sauli between his spread, bent legs.

“You promised to ride me”

Sauli snickered. Damn. Now Adam won’t let him go to the shower at all.

Sauli slid lower and stopped by Adam's waistband, 

“You are so bad for making me do things when I have something else to do”

“You started it. Just making sure you keep your promise” Adam beamed, "So what are you waiting for? A permission?” he teased and jerked his hips.

“Orders” Sauli murmured, knowing Adam will love it. Adam bit his lip and pushed Sauli’s head a little lower.

There are things he just can’t say when he’s sober or not fully hard and in the mood. Sauli plaid like he didn’t understand Adam’s point. But he did nuzzle the slowly growing bulge before him.

“Just say it” He smiled, “I won’t bite”

“Well, you fucking better not” Adam said with a nervous chuckle. His cheeks already flushed but he still said, 

“Suck my cock… ”

“My pleasure” Sauli said, groping Adam’s semi-hard dick out of his loose pants, “I’m just teaching you to say things you want me to do”

“You’re going to be a death of me” Adam groaned, but a moan escaped when Sauli locked his lips around him.

Baby steps. They work. 

 

♥♥♥

 

"Every year we go to drive around the western America with a van. It reminds us that we're not just co-workers but also friends. We get to spend some time together without the worry of work. And I'd want you to join us this year" Sauli said to Adam who now dropped the files he was carrying.

Sauli chuckled and went to help him with picking them up again.

"It was not that horrible. Just a small request"

"No. But it's your thing, not mine" Adam said quietly with a frown and grabbed the pile of papers in his arms. 

Sauli sighed lovingly and helped Adam up since his ankle was still sore and walked behind his desk.

"You're my boyfriend and my employee. I want you to come with us. I'd go crazy if I had to be two weeks without you" Sauli said and put the files Adam brought in their folders.

Adam sat on his desk, placing his feet on the armrests of Sauli's chair.

"Only if it's okay to others" Adam said.

Sauli pushed his chair closer to him and smiled up at him.

"It is. I bet they would like to get to know you without the work fuss"

Adam shrugged.

There was a knock at the door, then a loud "Geez".

"I really hope you don't do anything inappropriate there" Tommy said and covered his eyes with the photos he was bringing to Sauli.

"Oh, you don't wanna know" Sauli smirked, but then pushed his chair to the left where Tommy could see him, and see that he was not doing anything dirty between Adam's legs, "Just kidding. Something up?"

"Just brought these photos from the show" Tommy told him and put the photos on Sauli's desk. Sauli grabbed them and browsed them through quickly.

"Thanks. With a brief glance they look good. No calls, yet?”

“No, not yet. But it’s on the news. Been a few days already”

“Haven’t bothered to look” Sauli sighed, but he knows the news are on fire. Mostly commenting on Adam’s fall.

“It’s not as bad as it could have been. I mean they are nicer than expected” Tommy shrugged, “They actually say Adam was the best one and they put the blame on the stupid stair on the catwalk"

Adam felt awkward. He knows he fucking fell and it was because of his fucking sore ankle and there are no other excuses for that.

“Adam was the best. I mean the stage design was very crappy” Sauli pondered, Tommy agreeing with a nod.

“It really was. Models should be able to walk pro…”

“Guys, just stop” Adam said suddenly, surprising them all, even himself by interrupting them and turning around to face them both, “There is no point in trying to find an excuse for my failure. I fell because my ankle just couldn’t hold my body weight anymore and that’s it. You’re making me feel really awkward here”

Tommy was surprised to hear him say that. Adam doesn’t say much let alone speak up like that.

“Well, the harm wasn’t severe. It could have been worse” Tommy said, looking at Adam, “Besides, the show was great. And fortunately you are alright”

Adam nodded, “Yeah”

Sauli smiled. He knows his friends will get along with Adam. Some of them already do.

“Well, if you don’t have anything else, I could keep my lunch break” Tommy said, walking towards the door.

“Nope. But hey, rent that van for us. Actually a tour bus" Sauli loudly said before he could leave the room.

"Yeah, man. I can really use that two week vacation" Tommy said, "Will you join us?" He asked, glancing at Adam.

Adam shrugged.

"He will. I'll make him" Sauli beamed, tapping Adam on the thigh, “But you shouldn’t sit on my desk when my employees visit me”

Tommy shook his hand as if to say it wasn’t bothering him.

“Well, if you join us, I’m fine with it. Don’t see any problems as long as you don’t have sex in the bus”

Sauli chuckled.

“Says the one who had sex with Ashley in the bus last year”

Tommy brought up his forefinger and shook his head.

“We did not have sex” He said, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

“Sure you weren’t. Weird how everyone else were at the lake and when we came back to the van Brian found used condom wrappers from the floor”

Tommy opened his mouth but nothing came out.

“Sue me. At least we did it when nobody else was in there” Tommy said and walked out of the room.

Sauli laughed. This conversation always ends up with Tommy walking away. But this time he actually admitted it.

Sauli turned his attention back to Adam and smiled at him.

“See? Tommy is fine with it too. I bet they all are. They have to be”

Adam smiled slightly.

“Okay. I’ll join you in one condition”

“What’s that?”

“We must have sex in that bus”

Sauli rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Deal”


	16. Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Contains sexy times, talking and goofing around.  
> Maybe some new revelations...?

"Look at the scenery there" Sauli smiled, pointing towards the lake view that opened beside them as their bus drove closer to their first stop.

In addition to Sauli and Adam, also Tommy, Brian, Ashley, Terrance, Lee and Scarlett were there.

Of course the agency is full of amazing people, but not all can fit in one bus. This is their thing and their little group.

"It's beautiful" Adam said in awe.

"Like you" Sauli cooed, pecking Adam on the cheek.

Tommy made a gag sound across them. Their bus was incredibly comfy; Couches, table and stuff. No beds or anything like that. They spend their first night in the motel nearby.

"Guys that's just gross. Stop it now or I'm gonna puke" Tommy said. Ashley slapped him on the back of the head and growled at him.

"Stop it! You ruin the beautiful, young love" She beamed and glanced at her boss and his boyfriend, sighing.

Sauli rolled his eyes at them. These people just change when there is no stress of work bothering them.

Of course Sauli never lets go of his camera, though. It's always with him. Some unforgettable scenes could be missed if he left it at home.

The bus stopped at the lake.

"Yay! Happy camping!" Ashley squealed and ran out of the bus.

"See? These people are way more calm and happy" Sauli chuckled and grabbed Adam by the hand as they left the bus.

"Well, I'm still not quite sure if they accept me here" Adam said when he had stepped down from the bus.

His ankle was still a little tender but not so sore anymore. He was able to move properly as long as he doesn’t have to run or jump.

Sauli sighed,

"Don't start that again. All of them have brought their girl- or boyfriends with us. Sadly, I'm the only one who's dating at the moment. Well of course Lee dates Scarlett but they have dated like years now. All the others have b...."

They heard a loud squeal and a splash of water. They looked towards the lake, seeing Ashley in the water and Tommy laughing on the pier.

"Not fair!"

Sauli laughed and pulled Adam on the beach with him.

“Broken up I was saying. I’d break up too if my date was that close to someone else” Sauli smiled, hinting on the thing between Tommy and Ashley.

They sat down on the sand and watched the others mess around on the pier.

“No fears of that. Like I’d have anyone else to be close to than you” Adam said. Sauli could see sadness in his eyes. Adam would probably love to have more friends than just Danielle and him.

“Where is Danielle anyway?” Sauli asked, realizinh Adam hasn’t mentioned her in a long time.

“Busy with her love, I guess. Besides, I love Danielle but you have no fear I would get too close with her. Not my ‘type’, exactly” Adam grinned and gave a look to Sauli.

Sauli chuckled and kissed him on the cheek.

“Well, I’m not going to stop you from getting friends. As long as they’re not hot and a threat for me” Sauli joked and nudged Adam gently with his shoulder. Sauli feels confident in his own skin and in his relationship and he doesn't really fear Adam would cheat him or anything like that.

“Who could ever be hotter than you?” Adam asked, his tone low and seductive when he leaned down to press a brief kiss on Sauli’s lips.

Sauli hummed, pleased by the said words, and let Adam suck on his lips for a few seconds.

Adam pulled away,

“Don’t they feel like I steal you from them now? And Brian hasn’t said a word to me”

Sauli sighed with a smile and glanced at the others. They're having tons of fun even if Sauli isn't with them all the time. 

“Apparently not. Stop worrying so much about them. Trust me, during these two weeks they’ll have more time with me than their mental health can bear" Sauli said with a playful seriousness, "And just wait, once Brian gets a little tipsy… The fun begins”

Adam chuckled. He can't imagine the guy getting drunk and goofing around all loose and funny.

“You say your company is detrimental to a mental health?” Adam asked then with a smile.

“After a few weeks, yes” Sauli said all serious again but Adam could read the playfulness from his eyes and from his whole face.

“No wonder I feel so crazy about you then" Adam beamed and leaned in for another kiss. Sauli smiled and cupped Adam's cheek. 

That was an incredibly cheesy line.

After pulling away, Sauli stood up. Adam almost gasped when he stripped off his shirt like it was no big deal for him.

"Don't you feel...?"

"No. They've seen them. The world has seen them. I'm not insecure" Sauli smiled and put on his sunglasses, then sat back down.

Adam chuckled, clearly wishing he could say the same about himself.

"Hey" Sauli started, reaching out to stroke Adam's back, "Of course it takes time to reveal it all. I'm glad you have shared it with me"

They shared yet another kiss, believing the others didn't pay attention. Sucking your partner's in your friends' company can get easily awkward. 

They got a splash of water on them.

"Boo! You guys are truly gross! That was the fourth kiss in five minutes!" Tommy joked, "You better get your ass in the water for a change"

Sauli laughed and clung onto Adam's body.

"No, I'm busy cuddling with my boyfriend" He beamed and kissed Adam's cheek.

Adam blushed, staring at the grass. 

"Right then. Better discuss things now. Because later we’re going to spin the bottle! Secrets will be revealed” Tommy said mischievously. He has this strange ability to dig out everything from people's lives.

Of course he never gets too deep. He doesn’t want to cause any drama between anyone.

Sauli felt Adam’s body stiffen.

He watched Tommy get in the water with Ashley, Terrance and Brian then turned his attention back to Adam. Lee and Scarlett staid on the pier.

“Spin the bottle? What are we, a bunch of 13-year-olds? Can I skip it?”

Sauli gave him a gentle smile and stroked his back. 

“It’s fun. We don’t play it to open the deepest cuts of someone or to bring any tension in our small group. We focus on the funnier things. And a little dirtier. Be ready to tell about your first kiss”

Adam smiled, his body sagging in relief a little. Although he would rather not tell anything about his first kiss. Or anything at all, actually.

“Tommy asked you to get your ass in water. Doesn’t he know…”

“He does. And I know that the lake isn’t deep. These are the people I can trust into, anyway” Sauli told him and stood up, grabbing Adam’s hand, “Come. Let’s not miss the fun”

Adam became unease, looking around himself. 

“I can’t take my top off. I just can’t… “

“You see Ashley in her bikini?” Sauli asked, glancing at her in her full clothing yet she was in the water. 

Adam shook his head as no.

“Exactly. They won’t ask you anything as long as they think I pulled you with me without any warning” Sauli beamed and used the strength of his biceps as he pulled Adam up.

Adam wasn’t really surprised how much strength he has. Just a quick glance at his body and you can tell has strength. Quite a lot of it.

Adam has a feeling he might actually like these first days if Sauli struts around shirtless all the time.

 

♥♥♥

 

Adam has liked the first day a lot. He would never get tired of watching Sauli without a shirt on.

He’d rest his eyes on his tattoo sleeve that decorated his other muscular arm, he’d spent minutes of staring his abs and chest.

He’d watch all of it at once if he could.

But more than just once, his eyes got caught on the light scars on his back. Especially now when Sauli sat right before him stretching his legs.

Adam slid his hand under his own shirt to feel his own scars.

He jerked when somebody placed hands on his shoulders and immediately pulled his hand out.

“You two too! Time for some bottle spinning!” Ashley declared and pulled Adam up from the sand.

Sauli groaned and got up as well. This might be interesting or then a complete disaster. Hopefully the former one.

They got around the small wooden mat that laid on the grass.

“And not too deep” Sauli said in a warning tone, mostly to his friends. These people know a lot about him and they want to know a lot about Adam too for sure.

Sauli thought it was good to give them a little warning.

Tommy spun the bottle at first, it ended up pointing at Terrance. Not the result he was craving for but oh well.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth”

“Okay, Ter. Name the hottest person among us”

Terrance scanned them through, his eyes squinted. Then he sighed dramatically, holding up his hands,

"Oh boos, I can't name just one person! You're all dolls" He said. 

"Come ooon, we're not gonna get offended" Ashley said. 

“Okay, I love you all but I need to admit that Adam is a hottie" He finally said, all innocently, and grinned.

Adam chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. Well, that was new. And flattering. Also embarrassing.

“Control your thoughts, Ter, he’s mine” Sauli said, playing all serious and hugged Adam’s body.

It was Terrance’s turn to spin, and the bottle finished the round by pointing towards Sauli.

“Oh crap” Sauli mumbled.

If he chose truth, he’d have to answer some sex questions and if he chose dare, he should probably make out with someone else but Adam.

Yes, his friends truly act like teenagers.

“Truth”

Terrance gave him that look and Sauli just knew he was in trouble.

“Are you still a size queen?”

Okay, not so bad as he expected but wait what?

“I have never been a size queen!” Sauli said in high pitched voice, “Are you trying to make me look bad?” he asked, glancing at Adam who had a confused face on.

That one joke he once said will always haunt him. From that day on he has kept his mouth shut about dicks. Especially about the size of them.

“I’ll fall in love with the person himself so no” Sauli finished.

Adam has a nice cock, though. It’s not the most important thing to Sauli, of course, but it's an average plus. A very long plus.

Their game round kept going on and on for over ten minutes before the bottle finally hit Adam.

Somehow he felt lucky that the spinner was Scarlett and not Tommy or Terrance. They have hit the most awkward questions during the game.

He chose the truth just because he didn’t want to end up making out with any other than Sauli. Or do anything else embarrassing either.

“None of us really know you at all. Except Sauli. What should I ask…” Scarlett said and thought about a good question for a few seconds. 

“I don’t want you to feel too uncomfortable and think that we’re all perverts” She said, glancing at Tommy and Terrance, “I know you’re shy and full of mysteries. But tell us one thing; How was your first time with Sauli? If you’ve done it, that is”

Sauli’s mouth dropped open at the question. That crosses the line of privacy. Seriously, he felt like he was around horny teenagers. Maybe the alcohol has something to do with it as well.

And all these guys, except Adam, were older than him. 

"Very satisfying” Said Adam to Sauli’s surprise. Just like that.

Sauli smiled and kissed Adam’s bare shoulder, clearly pleased with his answer.

“I might be the youngest of us but I know where the line goes” Adam said and spun the bottle.

He surely knows. Sometimes the line is way too strict. But it’s just to protect himself from any harm.

And he values the privacy.

 

♥♥♥

 

Later the night Adam watched as the moon was shining against the calm surface of the lake. Sauli was standing in the lake alone.

He was experiencing, knowing really well that Adam was watching him on the beach. He wouldn't let him get hurt by any means.

After a few minutes he turned around to see Adam smiling on the beach, sitting on the sand, white towel around his waist.

"Wanna join me, sexy?"

Adam chuckled, glancing down at his body.

"Not wearing my swim shorts"

Sauli huffed, rolling his eyes.

"And so? It's not like anyone but me will see. Come" He smiled, reaching out his arm. 

Adam smiled and bit his lip, getting up.

Sauli watched him drop the white towel, more sure than ever but still a little hesitant as it hit the sand and it wasn’t protecting his naked body anymore.

It’s not like Sauli hasn’t seen him. But brief looks during sex is different than actually looking.

Their eyes were locked all the time as Adam walked to him.

The minute Adam reached him, Sauli wrapped his arms around his neck.

"See? Wasn't that bad, was it?"

Adam shook his head as no and let himself get lost in the kiss Sauli gave him.

Sauli hummed pleasantly, curling his fingers in Adam's hair. The soft waves hit their bodies as they kissed. There was something incredibly refreshing and beautiful in the atmosphere.

"Where did the others go?" Sauli asked after pulling away shortly.

"Drinking to some pub nearby" Adam chuckled.

An opportunity that cannot be missed. 

"Well... That means the bus is ours" Sauli smirked, drawing circles on Adam’s chest with his fingertips.

Adam gave an approving smirk when Sauli took his hand. He followed Sauli out of the water and grabbed his towel once on the beach.

He felt like a 15 year old when they entered the bus giggling and fumbling on things that were laying on the floor on their way.

Adam nudged Sauli on the couch and straddled his body.

"There is a possibility they will come back any second” Sauli grinned, lacing his arms behind Adam's neck.

"I don't really care" Adam groaned, pushing his lips against Sauli's. Sauli tangled his fingers in Adam's hair and moaned in bliss. 

Sauli dropped his hand down between their bodies to fondle Adam's cock, maybe rubbing the underside of his balls a little too.

Adam sighed at the touch,

“That feels good…” He whispered.

“I know it does, baby… “ Sauli replied, giving his cock a few firm strokes before reaching under the pillow. Adam’s eyes went wide when he pulled out a condom and small tube of lube.

“What? This was predictable so I put them there to wait for us" Sauli beamed, "But first,,, Bring that beautiful cock of yours here"

Adam chuckled and rose on his knees, stroking his cock as he moved to straddle Sauli's chest.

Adam imagined he could see Sauli’s eyes darken with lust when he watched him stroke his cock right before his face. He angled his cock towards Sauli's mouth, far enough not to let him lick him.

Adam glanced over his shoulder at Sauli’s crotch and gave a pleased hum when he saw how his body is affecting Sauli.

_His_ body.

“Stop teasing me with that delicious cock and let me suck you" Sauli hissed, grasping Adam's ass and pulled him closer. 

 

~*~

Sauli squeezed the air out of the tip of the condom and rolled it down Adam’s shaft. Adam’s breath hitched at the smallest touch.

They had been in a rush but they kind of had to. 

“Now fuck me"

Adam groaned at the said words and especially at the tone he heard in Sauli’s voice. He pushed Sauli’s legs open and teased his hole with the head of his cock.

Slowly, he pushed inside.

Fuck, Sauli almost forgot how it felt to have him inside of him. So big and full, and gosh, it felt so amazing .

Adam was gasping as well, the tight feeling around him sending him to a some sort of euphoria. He leaned down to lock their hungry lips and started thrusting slowly.

Sauli, as usually, tangled his hands in Adam’s hair. He loves to feel it when they’re this close to each other. No matter are they cuddling or having sex, he just needs to touch Adam's hair. 

As they moved, their heated bodies and pants oozed steam in the small space. 

Harsh breathing and moaning took over the silence.

It always starts out slowly to give some time to get used to the feeling, but when the desire grows more, the slowness is forgotten.

Sauli let his hands drop from Adam’s hair when the pace quickened and instead moved them on his ass. It's the other thing he always wants to touch. 

Slap it or grab it.

Their kiss turned even more hungrier; More smacking of the lips, sucking and tongues were bumping against each other.

“Keep going, babe… You feel so fucking incredible inside of me” Sauli groaned into the kiss and gave an encouraging squeeze to his ass cheeks.

Adam’s dick was brushing his prostate on every thrust, but when it really hit him there when Adam swayed his hips differently, Sauli couldn’t help the yelp of pleasure.

Every noise he made added fuel to Adam’s fire.

He couldn’t keep the moans longer inside his mouth. Sauli enjoys nothing more than hearing his sounds in bed, though. He has told him many times that they turn him on more than anything else.

Adam pulled away from the kiss and sat back on his heels between Sauli’s spread legs, thrusting his hips, pushing his cock hard and fast into the heat.

Sauli watched him with pure admiration and affection, also lust when Adam dipped his head back, sweat glistening all over his body. 

“Feels so good …” he panted, working his hips.

Sauli couldn’t agree more.

“Adam… Please…” He whispered, making Adam’s head perk back up.

Adam understood right away what he meant.

He wrapped his hand around Sauli’s leaking cock that lay prominently against Sauli’s abs. 

Adam has great hands. Sauli enjoys his touch no matter where and when it is but this,,, This is something else.

Adam just knows what to do even though the sex is kind of new in their relationship. Well, Adam is new to sex as well.

He knows when to stroke slowly and when a little faster, when to twist and when to squeeze.

Adam ran his palm over the wet tip and smeared the wetness on the shaft, then started to jerk him off firmly.

Sauli threw his head back on the pillows and moaned in pleasure. 

Adam’s thrusts were also turning erratic which made his focus drift away from the handjob. 

All the things happening in his body made him lost his focus on everything except on his own pleasure and how it was _Sauli_ 's hole tight around him.

Sauli placed his own hand on top of Adam’s and kept up the stroking.

“I-I’m gonna… Oh fuck” Adam gasped, his last few thrusts jerky and powerful, ripping his orgasm out of his body.

His loud moan and his euphoric face sent Sauli over the edge too. He spilled over their joined hands and on his abdomen. 

Adam collapsed on top of him when he released their hands. He felt Sauli’s cock twitch a few times against his stomach. It felt oddly hot and satisfying, making his spent cock jerk inside of Sauli.

Adam nuzzled Sauli’s neck, pulling himself out of him slowly.

He felt more than a little sheepish when Sauli helped him to roll off the condom because his own hands were shaking due to his powerful orgasm.

Like always, Sauli just smiled at him lazily, pulling him back against his messy body once he had tied the condom and tossed it aside.

“I love you so much… You’re absolutely incredible” Sauli whispered, pressing a kiss on Adam’s sweaty hair.

Adam smiled, cuddling Sauli’s small body tighter.

“I love you too”

 

♥♥♥

 

Just a few minutes later when they cuddled, Sauli traced his fingers over the scars on Adam’s abdomen, from the smallest one to the biggest.  
From the oldest to the most fresh one.

He could see his own finger leave a trail on Adam’s sweaty skin.

“It’s amazing how much stories and secrets these small lines of pain keep… “ Sauli said in a quiet voice.

“True. If they wouldn’t look so much the same I could name the incident to each one of them” Adam said, looking down at his body.

He knows where, how and why he got some of them. Most of them look so much the same he can’t tell what exactly happened when he got each of them.

His stomach muscles jumped a little when Sauli came across a ticklish spot on his tummy.

Sauli smiled at the reaction. It’s really ridiculous how little Adam has to do to make him smile. He doesn’t even have to do anything consciously.

Just this small reflex was enough to make Sauli love him a little more.

“It’s just so scary to think that all these scars are on your abdomen” He said then, seriously, “Stomach is such a sensitive part of the body and so many important organs are just behind the first layer of skin and muscle” He frowned.

“They’re not that deep. The deepest scar on my body is on my scalp. I got it when I hit my head against a sharp corner of the table as a kid” Adam told him and scratched the back of his head.

Sauli reached out to move his hair out of the way and indeed saw a small scar tissue.

“Poor you. You’ve been through a lot” He said and snuggled back against Adam’s side and petted his stomach.

“No shit” Adam chuckled.

Sauli didn’t say anything.

“Look how steamy that window is” Adam beamed, pointing at the window above them and on the side of couch.

Sauli giggled and reached up to draw a heart on it.

“Should I have pressed my hand against it like in Titanic while you thrust into me?” He asked with a grin.

Adam snickered and pulled Sauli closer,

“You were too busy fondling my ass"

Sauli huffed and leaned down to gently bite Adam’s nipple,

"It's because I really like it"

Adam squaked when Sauli tugged on his nipple with his teeth, and pushed his head away, laughing.

“Are you up for a little game?” Sauli asked then, sitting up and looked down at Adam. Adam arched his eyebrows at him and shrugged.

“Depends on what that means”

Sauli smirked and pushed the covers off of him, got down from the couch and headed for his bag.

“This is something I took with me in case we’d face boring hotel nights since you can’t go to all of the clubs yet”

“I’m offended. You actually hinted that time with me could be boring” Adam pouted playfully, but his eyes got wider when Sauli came back with a small box with sex symbols on it.

“This is a truth or dare we can play alone” Sauli said and got back under the covers with Adam.

Adam bit his lip. Okay, he liked this game already, sounds like a lot of fun.

They just finished a round of satisfying sex but hell, this might be enough foreplay for them to do it again.

“You start” Sauli smiled and handed the box to Adam. 

Adam pulled out a card with only one sentence in it.

“Okay. I dare you to excite me with only kissing for thirty seconds. Tip: You’re not limited to my lips”

Sauli smirked cockily and moved the covers down below Adam’s hips.

He started by kissing Adam’s lips, licking them a little until he moved down to his collarbones where he had previously sucked a few hickeys.

It was so hard to keep his hands off Adam. Normally he’d already rub his chest or side at this point.

Sauli moved lower, facing Adam’s right nipple. He smirked before leaning down to drag his teeth against the sensitive skin.

Adam gasped, bringing his hand in Sauli’s hair.

Sauli flickered his tongue around the hard nub, appreciating all the noises Adam made while he did so.

He slurped on the skin beneath his mouth, sucking it into his mouth like he was hungry for it. 

Adam arched his chest off the bed under the stimulation. But it wasn't long before Sauli glanced at the clock and pulled away.

“Time’s up”

Adam groaned in frustration.

“Did I excite you?” Sauli teased and glanced down at Adam’s body, then dropped his hand down to cup the lump trough the covers, “Guess I did. At least a little bit”

Adam was still so young he could recover fast and have a new erection. He did feel tingling in his dick already.

“Your turn” Adam choked out and pushed Sauli’s hand off his slowly growing erection.

Sauli picked up a card from the box and inhaled deep when he read it. He likes this game too.

“I dare you to stimulate two parts of my body at once for twenty seconds”

“Any rules with what?”

Sauli shook his head.

Adam leaned down to suck on Sauli’s neck tattoo and to be a total tease, he grabbed his own cock and rubbed the tip of it against Sauli’s entrance.

“You...! You know what that does to me” Sauli gasped, gripping on Adam’s hair. Adam’s damp cockhead against his hole is just… Yes. 

When Adam does that, it makes Sauli want to have his cock inside of him again. There is just something incredibly good about it.

Adam was eagerly sucking on Sauli's neck, not sure who did he tease more, himself or Sauli. 

“Time’s up”

Fuck.

Adam didn’t waste a second to pull another card out from the box. Sauli noticed his cock twitch when he read it, and he couldn't help a small smirk,

"What is it, bunny?"

“Finger me" Adam whispered huskily and slumped on his back on the couch.

Sauli grabbed the lube from the floor in a rush and he spurted some onto his fingers and helped Adam throw his other leg on his shoulder.

"Do I have a time limit?"

Adam shook his head, looking as innocent as possible.

"Liar" Sauli smirked, rubbing his fingers over the tight ring of muscle between Adam's legs, “You’re not getting all the fun. Tell me”

“Make me” Adam hissed, earning that hungry look from Sauli.

Sauli teased his fingertip in while watching Adam straight into the eyes. Adam feels way more relaxed when he looks at Sauli. He sees the person he can trust into.

After only a few seconds, Sauli forgot the time limit. Once he gets into what he’s doing, he can’t stop. Not when Adam’s mouth falls open and his eyelids flutter when he touches him.

How he whimpers and moans when he pushes his finger deeper.

“There…!” Adam hissed suddenly, his head falling back, “Ohhh fuck, right there…”

Sauli smiled, rubbing against the sweet spot again. Adam gasped, his back arching to a beautiful curve.

He knows Sauli loves to bottom, and he surely knows why. The feeling is something you can’t get in any other way. The direct contact with the prostate is incredible, for sure. 

Sauli thrust his fingers in and out hard and fast, the obscene sound of the lube almost covering the noises coming from the outside. 

Regardless of having fingers deep inside his ass, Adam could hear something.

“You hear that?”

Sauli pulled his finger out, Adam whimpering a little at the sudden pull out. They stilled completely, listening to the noises.

_"Way to go, Tommy Joe!"_

It was definitely Ashley's voice.

“I think others are back. Get dressed!” Sauli said, storming up from the couch to grab his own clothes.

Adam reached out to grab his pants and pulled them up without his underwear because there was simply no time.

Others came in right after they had managed to get dressed.

Though Adam’s messy hair and flushed face can’t fool anyone. And there was an open lube on the couch too…

“Geez, Sauli what did I say about the sex in the bus?” Tommy asked, cringing at the fact that his boss had sex with his minor co-worker in their shared bus.

_On the couch they sit on during the drives._

“Don’t know what you’re talking about” Sauli beamed, sitting down on the couch next to Adam, crossing his legs to hide his raging erection.

“Right. This bus just reeks of sex and there’s steam on the window” Tommy slurred. Clearly he’s been drinking.

Sauli chuckled, but it faded when he saw their cum covered tissues on the floor. The others seemed to be so drunk they didn’t really focus on such things.

They slumped on the couch opposite Sauli and Adam.

“Guess I’m the only one who’s capable of driving now” Sauli said, getting up. He should drive to the motel where they spend their first night.

“Don’t leave me here” Adam said quietly, gripping on his wrist.

“The travel takes maybe 15 minutes. And they’re not going to eat you” Sauli chuckled, gently jerking his wrist out of Adam’s grip.

“Sure? He’s so yummy” Terrance joked, but Sauli gave him a glare that most definitely told to keep his hands off Adam.

“Kidding” Terrance then said with a grin. He would never touch his friend's boyfriend.

Sauli rolled his eyes and went to the wheel, picking up the tissues on his way.

Adam didn’t know Sauli had that kind of license that he could drive a bus.

Oh well. Guess they still have a lot to learn from each other.

♥♥♥

**A few days later, at Palm Springs…**

 

Palm Springs is a place where Sauli can’t let his camera down for one second. He could say it’s his favorite stop in their vacation.

The Palm Court Inn is just wonderful place to relax.

Sauli scanned the landscape through the camera when he sat on a sun chair beside the pool.

His camera came across Adam’s face.

“Could you put it down? I’m really not very photogenic right now” Adam groaned, putting his hand over the camera’s objective and put his drink down next to his lounge chair.

“You look good in my opinion. But okay" Sauli said, moving the camera because he didn't want to annoy his boyfriend, "Hey Ash, pose for me” he yelled to his friend instead.

Ashley gave him a one pose in her swimsuit before jumping back into the pool with others.

Adam rolled his eyes at him.

“This is a vacay for you. You keep loving that camera” He said when Sauli cleaned up the lenses.

“My job is always with me. No matter where I go. I’m the manager after all. I have to fill some papers all the time here and send them via email”

Adam frowned.

“So who’s in charge at the agency when you’re here?”

“I do everything from here. Katri keeps everything going though”

She’s been his greatest friend through times. She’s the only one who can take the charge when he’s gone. He doesn’t trust into any other as much.

Sauli snapped a photo of the young couple beside the pool. They didn’t seem to mind. It was like they knew who Sauli was.

Sauli put his camera down next to his stool and sighed.

“Guess I’m a bit workaholic. Can’t seem to stop. I feel so good when I see these people enjoy their free time but it just feels that as a boss I’m too loose and I worry what happens at the agency while I’m gone and I just…”

Adam reached out to take Sauli’s hand into his.

“You have to stop thinking about that too much. I’m sure everything is fine there” He smiled and squeezed the smaller hand soothingly.

Sauli smiled slightly, staring at their joined hands. Since he already started to talk about this subject, he might as well continue.

“I’ve been in the professional care because of this. I worked too much and my head just snapped. And I’m only 20 now”

Adam watched Sauli’s face, not really knowing what to say to that. He just listened.

“I had to take a break after two months of being the manager for Sunny Stars. It was kind of scary to see my face all over tabloids with a text ‘Collapse’”

Adam could see all the emotions written on Sauli’s face as he spoke. He squeezed Sauli's hand again.

“When I finally got an anxiety attack I thought I was going to die. I was alone at home and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I haven’t gotten one in almost a year now. Fortunately” He finished.

Adam bit his lip and nodded, understanding.

Sauli turned his eyes to Adam and met his eyes.

“I think you’re a good distraction to me. You kept me away from my laptop when you twisted your ankle. I can’t say that it was a good thing for you, but I enjoyed worrying about something else than work. Especially when I have-”

Adam knows Sauli means well with those words. But he can’t help attaching to the word ‘Distraction’. He huffed.

“So I’m just a good distraction?”

Sauli closed his eyes and sighed.

“No, of course not. You know what I meant, you just don’t want to understand the point”

Adam pursed out his lips and sighed himself too. He can be childish sometimes and he knows it very well. 

“I get it, it just… Caught my attention in a bad way”

“Is it that hard for you to believe how much you mean to me?” Sauli asked softly. 

Adam shrugged.

Sauli got down from his stool and crouched beside Adam’s, still holding his hand,

“It’s not wrong to feel yourself important to someone. I know you know how important you are to me. You just don’t believe it because you feel like you just can’t be that”

Adam’s mouth was slightly open as he started into Sauli’s eyes. Sauli is drilling into his brains every time they share an eye contact. He sees right through him. 

“What the hell is that ability to read my mind?” Adam asked, small smile playing on his lips.

Sauli smiled as well, reaching out to stroke Adam’s bare knee.

“As I’ve said, we have a lot in common. Maybe more than we even know” He said.

Something just burst in Adam’s heart.

“I love you”

The sentence made Sauli smile even more,

“Love you too. So much”

Adam smiled widely, and accepted the brief peck Sauli placed on his cheek. Then he remembered that he had interrupted Sauli’s sentence earlier.

But he didn’t have a time to ask when Sauli already pulled him up from his stool and nudged him in the pool.

“Hey! That was not fair!” Adam squeaked once back above the surface, earning a mischievous cackle from his boyfriend, "I could have drownded"

He could never do that to Sauli for obvious reasons but god damn he deserves a spank for that. The irritation however disappeared when Sauli walked at the edge of the pool and sat down.

Adam swam closer to him,

“I won’t let go” He gently said when he offered his hand for him.

“I know” Sauli smiled, encouraged by Adam and let himself slid into the pool, holding Adam's hand.

Suddenly everybody from their entourage was staring at them, clearly surprised by the view.

They didn’t say anything, though. But from that second on there were no doubts of Adam. He obviously was a real deal, he truly was.

And they saw it now too.

 

♥♥♥

 

Adam strutted around their hotel room, searching for Sauli’s bag. Sauli was taking a shower and he had yelled Adam to bring his own shampoo from his bag to him. He uses his silver shampoo a couple of times a week.

“Where the fuck is your bag even?” Adam asked, but then it caught his eye, “It’s okay I found it. In which pocket?”

“The one in the front” Sauli replied from the bathroom.

Adam chuckled and was about to zip back the wrong pocket he was checking, but something caught his eye.

Something that looked like a small drug can.

He was about to take it but you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat. 

“Adaaaam did you find it?”

Adam shook his head to forget his own thoughts and zipped the pocket, going for the one Sauli had mentioned.

“Yup, found it” Adam yelled back, grabbing the bottle and zipped that pocket as well.

He got up and made his way to the bathroom.

“Here” He said and handed it to Sauli over the shower stall because he was tall like that. He exchanged a wink with Sauli through the glass but left him showering in peace.

When he stepped out from the bathroom, he made his way to their bed and grabbed the remote.

His fingers were twitching a little every time he glanced towards Sauli’s bag. Since he didn’t want to be rude, he put all his focus on TV.

There was nothing worth watching but he kept flicking the channels in the hope of coming across something interesting.

He groaned when nothing was found.

“I hear you. You sound bored even though you’ve been without me for only five incredible minutes” Sauli yelled from the bathroom.

Adam chuckled.

“I can have some fun alone”

“You do not jerk off in there” Sauli firmly said, making Adam giggle. Adam rolled on Sauli’s side of the bed.

He noticed his camera lay beside the bed.

“Can I watch the photos from your camera?” He asked. Sauli could see the look on Adam's face inside his head; Those puppy eyes looking into his and his lips in a pout.

Sauli is strict about his camera. It’s his favorite one and it’s expensive. He rather doesn’t give it to anyone.

“Sure. But be careful with it”

Adam smiled and reached out to grab it. He knows how to use it.

“And boom, the first photo is my ass. How am I not surprised?" Adam laughed out loud, loud enough for Sauli to hear, "Hey this was the night I was half way out of the window"

“It was your decision to throw those poor popcorns out of the window at the poor people walking there. I was pleased to watch the show” Sauli replied.

Adam snickered and rolled his eyes.

It wasn’t his decision, Brian made him do it. Brian is a funny guy when he doesn’t work. Adam was quite surprised by that.

The next photo made his eyes widen.

“How do you explain this pic of me sleeping with a morning glory?”

He was sleeping on his back, sheets below his hips.

“It’s for boring driving hours”

Adam gasped, his cheeks flushing pink.

“You keep this camera next to you and glance at the photo once in a while and jerk off while you’re driving? ”

Sauli just hummed, not giving a proper answer.

“I won’t let you drive anymore. You’ll kill us” Adam joked, going forward with the photos.

This might be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> I've been awfully lazy at writing steamy sex scenes lately. I get them in my head but not on my computer.  
> I promise you'll get full length in the next chapter ;)


	17. Pretty Hurts 1.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sauli explores something that he didn't want to find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so NOT satisfied with this chapter. Everything goes criss and cross and cross again. But hey, bare with me here.  
> The next chapter pays it off.

Adam woke up by a gentle trace of fingers on his bare shoulder. He smiled, inhaling deep and turned his head enough to see the person behind him.

"Morning" Sauli greeted him with a smile.

"Morning" Adam replied, pressing his head back against the pillow, "How long have you been perving over me?"

Sauli chuckled and kissed the top of his shoulder.

"So long I wasn't able to keep my hands off of you anymore"

Adam smiled at the words and the sweet kiss. He stretched his legs, then arms, almost hitting Sauli while doing so.

He let out a blissful sigh as he slumped back down.

"This is the first time in years I actually wake up in he morning and I feel well rested. Didn't wake up in the middle of the night at all"

Sauli didn't know should he smile or not. Of course it's a good thing but he never knew Adam was having such a hard time with sleeping.

"You could have told me you were spending nights awake" He gently said and brushed Adams bangs off his face.

"The nightmares stopped when I started to sleep in your bed. I've only seen one bad nightmare during that time" 

Liar, Sauli's mind was saying. Adam has woken Sauli up by squeezing him hard and clinging onto him many times.

He talks in his sleep and moves restlessly even if he doesn't really kick and hit and scream. 

Maybe they won’t go away. It might take years for him to recover.

He gave Adam a gentle smile and sat up to stretch his arms.

“We have a new day ahead. Out of the bed, pumpkin” Sauli said and kissed Adam briefly on the lips.

Adam chuckled and pressed his face against the pillow.

“Parents call their children pumpkin. I feel so little when you call me that”

Sauli glanced at Adam’s lap meaningfully but playfully.

“You certainly do not look very little. And to be honest, you don’t really feel little either” He smirked while pulling on his briefs. He imagined he could still feel the sting of having Adam's cock in his ass.

He placed a quick kiss on Adam’s lips and scooted off the bed to go the bathroom, leaving Adam to enjoy the boost that Sauli gave for his ego.

Sauli grabbed his toothbrush from the edge of the sink where he had left it yesterday and started brushing his teeth.

It didn’t take too long until Adam joined him in the bathroom, he had put on his briefs, sadly, as well.

He glanced himself from the mirror, and did a double look when he noticed something.

"My god, I have a very strong stubble" Adam said, rubbing his chin.

Thank God Sauli had just rinsed his mouth from toothpaste and spit out the water because he started laughing.

"Well Hell isn't that such a miracle?" He teased and straightened up, looking at Adam's chin through the mirror, "You are 17. You didn't expect to be smooth as a baby's butt for the rest of your life?"

"I'm getting old!" Adam squealed jokingly and scratched his stubbly cheeks.

Sauli chuckled and rolled his eyes at him.

"Oh please. Are you even growing chest hair?" Sauli teased some more and poked Adam on the chest.

Adam stuck out his tongue and gently slapped him on the shoulder.

"Shut up. Not too hairy yourself either" Adam said and reached out to grab his toothbrush.

Sauli beamed and hugged Adam from behind, wrapping his arms loosely around his middle.

He rubbed his own scruffy chin against Adam's back.

"In case you didn't know, stubble feels very intense in certain places"

"Oh? Experiences of that?" Adam asked, putting his toothbrush into his mouth.

Sauli hummed as yes.

"But it's not my thing to talk about my past experiences, I rather demonstrate my experience..." He murmured and sank down on his knees, rubbing his face against the sensitive skin of Adam's thighs.

Adam grunted, stepping further away from him.

"I'm trying to brush my teeth" He said, his face flushing. He did not want to choke on the toothbrush.

Sauli giggled, hugging his legs.

God damn, he still feels tipsy because of last night and he didn’t even drink much. Adam is a sweet drug to him.

Sauli dipped his finger underneath the elastics of the tight black underwear he was facing and pulled them down just enough to kiss the top of Adam's ass.

Adam tried to ignore him, continuing his process of brushing his teeth.

But when Sauli spent a little longer time there, nuzzling the small of his back while groping his firm ass, he had to spit out the toothpaste.

"You're so pale" Sauli declared, pulling his briefs down a few more inches.

Adam was rinsing his mouth so he just hummed.

Sauli bit on the flesh of his buttock as soon as he had spit out the water. He even tugged on the skin like a wild animal hungry for meat.

"Ow!" Adam whined, "That hurt" 

Sauli giggled, licking over the bitten area. He swirled his tongue there and stroked Adam's butt. 

"Oh, Jesus..." Adam gasped, grasping the counter.

"Nope. Not my name" Sauli beamed and straightened up, but slowly, letting his tongue trail from Adam’s tailbone to his neck.

Adam shivered, a quiet gasp escaping.

Sauli took Adam’s hand into his and pulled him out from the bathroom to the bed.

He nudged him down, scooting on top of him right after.

“What it is with you that make my legs wobbly, my brain messy, my stomach fluttery …”

“And your dick hard” Adam finished, glancing down between their bodies.

Sauli chuckled and ground his hard on against Adam’s crotch.

“Well your dick seems to be just as happy” he declared.

“It’s not fully happy yet” Adam said, his tone a bit lower than before.

“Oh? Not fully happy?” Sauli murmured, dragging his lips to Adam’s ear. He heard that gorgeous hitch in his breath when he bit on his earlobe.

Adam shook his head, hummed as no, his eyes closed and his lower lip was pulled between his teeth.

“What should I do to make it more happy?” Sauli asked whispering, nibbling on Adam’s ear lobe.

Adam moaned softly, grasping on Sauli’s hair.

“I’m sure he’d appreciate a warm mouth…”

Sauli smiled against Adam’s skin and sat on his heels between the long spread legs.

“Then _he_ must have one” He said, dipping his hands under Adam’s briefs, intention to pull them down but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Guys, if you are awake let’s go out. There are a lot of things to see in town!”

Sauli closed his eyes, counting to ten in his mind.

“Okay, we’ll be right out”

Adam nudged Sauli on the chest with his toes and hissed.

“You should have staid quiet so they would have thought we’re still asleep”

Sauli groaned. Of course. Oh God, he’s an idiot.

♥♥♥

 

“Smile!” Ashley beamed, capturing a photo of Adam and Sauli. Adam seemed awkward. He isn’t used to show affection to anyone in public neither to receive any.

They sat in the restaurant at the Monterey, near the Plaza and spa hotel they were staying in.

Tommy was reading his menu, his lips pursed.

“Every year we come here, I find it hard that there is no food that isn’t so neat”

Ashley put her camera down and grabbed her own menu to see what she could have.

Adam and Sauli read the same menu, their heads pressed together, but Adam took it when Sauli suddenly pulled away.

“You guys have helped me so much in my career and I need to thank you all for it. Have anything you want, it's my treat" Sauli said and clapped his hands together once.

“We should be thanking _you_ for keeping us as your employees and for treating us like friends in spare time. Without you I’d still sell hamburgers every Sunday” Brian said, grabbing his wine glass to raise it, “What y’all say if we raise this glass for Sauli?”

“Yes! This is for you, boo" Terrance joined in and raised his own glass.

Sauli couldn’t help the light flush that appeared on his cheeks. He doesn't usually get flustered easily.

“And I’d be drinking beer in my small ass apartment” Tommy said, wrapping his fingers around his glass.

“And I would be taking photos for crappy agencies and-" Lee started, turning to look at Scarlett, “Without you I wouldn’t have met my beautiful spouse”

All their jaws dropped down.

“You guys are engaged?” Sauli asked, not really shocked but surprised. Scarlett nodded with a big smile.

“He proposed me yesterday”

“Well, then we must raise for that!” Sauli smiled and picked up his glass.

“We can celebrate it later” Lee smiled, “This is for you”

Sauli groaned, tucking himself further under Adam’s arm.

“Guyyys, I’m no life saver. This is really awkward”

“You are” they all said simultaneously, Adam as well.

It made Sauli glance up at his eyes and something in them just screamed the truth. The honesty of being saved by him.

Sauli smiled and glanced at all the others as well, seeing them smile and speak in a language that didn’t need words.

Every single one of them has had that conversation with him. It’s always a good feeling to know you are trusted into.

“To Sauli” Brian said, followed by six persons repeating it.

Even though Adam couldn’t have wine, the waitress had given him a replacing drink. And he has tasted the wine and he didn’t particularly like the taste, so. Maybe he’ll learn to like it someday.

After a few minutes, the waitress took their orders. The service was so good they didn’t have to wait their meals too long, they arrived fast.

Adam has never eaten in a restaurant, he was a little lost. Should he eat very neatly and give a good picture of himself or…

“And let’s eat” Tommy said, sinking his fork into his food and started eating without specifically thinking about it.

So apparently not.

So Adam did not think about it that much either. That’s how he ended up eating better than in years. The food was just so good he couldn’t deny it.

No one didn’t mention anything about it until he made a noise of discomfort and he cringed slightly.

“You okay?” Sauli asked, chuckling a little as looked at Adam.

“Yeah. Just… past full” Adam said and ran a hand over his belly.

Sauli smiled and stroked his thigh soothingly in the cover of the table.

“Well, that was a good meal” Tommy said, patting his satisfied stomach, “What shall we do next?”

“Probably go to sleep” Adam grunted, holding his stomach while getting up, “Sorry, I need to excuse”

They all nodded.

Adam made his way to the bathroom while the others kept their conversation going.

“Did he… Even really eat that much?” Scarlett asked quietly, like it was a forbidden subject to talk about.

Sauli gave him a look.

“What are you saying?”

Scarlett shrugged, not wanting to worry anyone but he has paid close attention to Adam's eating habits and it concerns her a little.

“Have you ever considered that Adam might have some issues with his… looks?”

Sauli rolled his eyes.

“Don’t we all? What are you suggesting?" He asked, frowning, but Scarlett didnc have time to reply before he continued, "Of course he gets a bit uncomfortable when I get a little enthusiastic and can’t stop touching his belly. I haven’t really thought about it”

“Well, you should at least after you see this” Brian said, pulling out a magazine from his bag, “Someone recognized my face yesterday and gave this to me. It has a huge middle page thing about you and ‘your secret relationship with a minor tubby’”

Sauli cringed, grabbing the magazine from Brian.

“Oh crap. He can’t see this or he will snap” He said while reading some parts of the text, “This is bullshit. They can write crap about me as much as they want to but they better leave Adam alone. He doesn’t deserve this shit”

Scarlett tied her hair up into a bun and shrugged.

“Adam is one of your models, not only a boyfriend. Of course they will sink their teeth into him. They’re even more interested in him since you guys date. They know what to say to hit below the belt. Actually that might be their goal”

Sauli sighed. She’s right. The press has treated Adam quite nicely but this tabloid seems to have serious issues with Adam. Without any reason.

Sauli knows that Adam is still sensitive and vulnerable and that won’t change in the near future. He doesn’t need any more burden or hate on his shoulders.

“And first of all, our relationship is not a secret. I could shout the world that I love him, but I feel like it’s our business, not theirs. Secondly, Adam is not in any way or form a tu-”

“I’m not what?”

Sauli jumped when he heard Adam’s voice. He came back sooner than he expected him to.

He automatically tried to hide the magazine.

“Nothing. I was just about to…”

“What are you hiding there?” Adam asked, pulling the mystery magazine out of Sauli’s hands.

They all looked at the floor, ceiling or their empty plates when he started reading the magazine.

“Oh…” Was the only reaction they heard from him.

“Baby, don’t mind about that crap” Sauli said, stood up and stroked Adam’s arm, "It's not true"

Adam shrugged, throwing the magazine on the table.

“Whatever. Are we going somewhere or are we going to sit here and freak over a freaking magazine article?”

Sauli frowned sadly. He saw that Adam was upset because of what he just read. They will talk about this later. Properly.

 

♥♥♥

 

After the day in the city, they were all exhausted from all the shopping and photographing, so they’re enjoying their time in spa before they would go to bed.

Except Adam. He was at the pool outside. 

"You okay?" Came the female voice from behind. Adam recognized her as Scarlett.

"Mm hm" He hummed, moving his feet in the cool-ish pool water.

He noticed her sit down next to him and he kind of wanted to scoot away to avoid the upcoming conversation he knew was coming.

"That sounded almost believable" she said in a gentle tone and a chuckle, "Might work on others but not on me"

Adam's mouth twitched into a crooked smile.

"I know I'm not probably the person you wanna talk to since you don't really know me but,,, It actually concerns me to see you here all alone"

Adam hummed again, not in the mood for the talk she was offering.

Scarlett sighed quietly and bit her lip,

"Look,,, I am not the person to judge you by anything. I understand if you don't wanna talk to me but at least talk to someone… Sauli must be looking for you"

Adam glanced at her, catching a brief look of her eyes. Her thick, red hair was falling on her face because of the wind breezes.

"I know. But he’s enjoying his time in spa with his friends so I don’t wanna interfere”

Scarlett gave him a look and dropped her own feet in the pool as well.

“I bet he would appreciate if his boyfriend spent time with him. This trip is not meant to eat away your time together neither the time with friends. We do things together. But nights like this”, she said, gesturing towards the beautiful sunset, “Should be your time with him. Alone"

Adam sighed, leaning back a little, supporting his bodyweight with his hands.

“I am not part of this. You guys have known each other for years and I just…” 

“Don’t even finish that sentence. You’re part of Sauli’s life now and that is enough to make you belong in here” Scarlett smiled gently and moved closer to Adam.

Adam's body jerked when he felt the smooth side of her leg touch his.

“Woah there, I’m not here to eat you" She chuckled, "I leave that to Sauli”

Adam chuckled and relaxed in seconds. Her warmth felt soothing, actually. Not in any intimate way, just,,, Like Danielle’s.

“I don’t know should I bring this up but,,, Sauli has been in love before. But not like this. His eyes just sparkle every time he looks at you”

Adam smiled and brushed his fingers through his hair, obviously trying to hide the fact that he was feeling incredibly flustered.

“I don’t know if you remember or really paid any attention but I was applying the job exact the same time as you did. You were staring at the floor when Sauli came out of his office" She explaine, smiling a little, "And his jaw just dropped the second he laid his eyes on you. He didn't even see your face”

Adam remembers her. He remembers the other candidate, Brad, as well. He pays attention to a lot of things even if he doesn’t look at them.

“The feeling was mutual. I couldn’t stutter out a proper word to him. I just ended up begging for the job” Adam said, remembering the incident with a smile but embarrassment still clear in his head, “But wait, you were his friend then?”

“Of course. But even Sauli can’t just give a job to a friend so I had to apply like everyone else. I remember Sauli being all hectic and stuff the next day. He wanted to see you again so bad”

“And he did. I managed to spill coffee on his expensive shirt at the café” Adam groaned, hiding his face behind his palms.

Oh God, he had already forgotten that.

Scarlett laughed, throwing her head back.

She slowly got serious again though,

“What I try to say is that I have never seen Sauli like this. He tries to keep you away from any harm and he just oozes energy. He has always been a sunny person but god damn I have never seen him in a deep pool. The trust you guys share is something that some might not ever reach. I envy you for that”

Adam straightened up, looking at her.

“Why? You’re engaged to Lee”

“Not everything spins around love, honey” She said, keeping her eyes strictly in his, “Like I said, Sauli has been in love before. But not like _this_. He considers you as an employee, as a gorgeous model, as a boyfriend but also as a loyal friend. I have cried against his shoulder as well, he always listens but he never talks back. You may think we know him hundred times better than you but the truth is that he relies on you”

Adam kept frowning.

“So whatever he has told you, value it. Because I know for sure that whatever you decide to tell him, he will do the same. Don’t keep the negativity inside of yourself”

Adam nodded, understanding her point. At least he thought he did. Maybe they indeed have a few things to discuss with Sauli.

“Oh and one more thing” Scarlett said, reaching into the pocket of her jean shorts.

She pulled out a condom and tapped Adam’s shoulder with it with a wicked smile,

“Sauli cursed in the spa before I left and I just knew what he forgot to buy. You’ll manage with this one over the night. Nothing is better than a long round of loving sex after a deep conversation" 

Adam snatched the condom, his face heating up. He’s not thirteen. He’s not embarrassed of sex or being a little girl about it but it’s something that’s so private and Scarlett just gave him a condom with a hint that he will have some sex this night.

Scarlett pulled him into a hug when Adam thanked her.

“Anytime. You’re a great person, Adam” She smiled, got up and took a few steps but then stopped, “And by the way,,, Whenever in the future I will have my child, I won’t doubt to ask you to be the godfather”

Adam smiled widely and nodded, watching the redhead get back inside the hotel.

He got up himself too and headed back inside to his and Sauli’s hotel room to wait for him to be back from the spa.

But Sauli didn’t come back in an hour, Adam fell asleep waiting.

When Sauli finally did come back he didn’t have a heart to wake Adam up so he just covered him with his sweater since Adam was wearing a sleeveless shirt.

 

♥♥♥

 

"I didn't expect to see you here" Sauli said when he got inside the gym the next morning and saw Adam there, to his surprise, "I woke up and you weren't there" he pouted.

Adam chuckled, stepping down from the treadmill and wiped his sweaty forehead with a towel.

"You didn’t want to wake up although I stared at you for two hours. So I came here. I’ve been exercising before but in Los Angeles I don’t really feel like going to the gym… I never know who will bump into me"

Sauli didn’t really know what to say to that. The pieces that are falling together form a real scary ensemble.

He has never seen Adam do anything but jog from time to time. Sauli feels bad for not looking at the big picture earlier.

“I hope that the stupid article doesn’t haunt in your mind anymore” Sauli quietly said, feeling bad for the hurt it must have caused.

"No. It's nothing" Adam said, placing himself on the hip abductor machine. 

Sauli watched him put on a huge amount of weights.

"Don't do that. You only end up hurting yourself" Sauli said gently and walked closer.

Adam sighed. Sometimes it's annoying how much Sauli knows about things. About fitness, beauty, fashion, human mind…

About everything.

Adam lessened the weights and sat back down.

Sauli stepped on the treadmill and started walking while eyeing Adam through the mirror.

He could see the hurt in his eyes even though he tried to hide it.

Sweat was glistening on his forehead when he worked his inner thigh muscles. What an invitation. Seeing his thighs open and close, Sauli thought.

He slapped himself in the cheek in his mind. How can he think of such things when Adam is clearly in mental pain of some sort?

Adam noticed him watching but didn't mind. Or didn't want to mind.

He groaned loudly through his teeth when he did the last two reps. 

"They just hit me to a really sore spot…" Adam said all of a sudden, his voice unsteady as he pulled his legs out and sat on the nearest leg extension machine.

Sauli turned off the treadmill to listen to him properly.

Adam took a long gulp of his water and wiped his face with his towel.

"They, basically, called me fat"

Sauli flinched at the sound of the sentence.

"I'm so sorry... Media is not meant to be nice to anyone. They do that to everybody" He said, sitting down on the bench next to Adam, "But it's not true"

He tried to touch, but Adam jerked away and didn’t let him.

“You don’t understand…”

“Then fill me in” Sauli pressured and grabbed Adam’s hand fast enough, “You can talk to me about everything. You know it”

“I just feel so fucking ashamed of myself…” Adam said, his eyes becoming blurry.

Sauli stroked his knuckles and frowned sadly.

“Why?”

“That article wasn’t the first one they’ve written about me… The internet is full of them. So are all this discussion forums and I’ve read them for a long time. Since the first photo shoot you published”

“You’ve been reading them?”

Adam nodded.

“I’m curious” He said casually, hint of amused laughter escaping.

“That’s not good for you. It’s not healthy to know everything what people think about you” Sauli admitted, his tone colored by personal experience.

Adam shrugged.

“Well, people are entitled to have their opinions”

Sauli sighed and nodded, slowly. Sure, they are, but they are not entitled to express their hate and anger without any proper reason. There is a difference between being an asshole and having a freedom of expression.

“The things they write are not true. They just try to use them against you. People say things they don’t mean. … Because they’re jealous”

Adam raised his hung head and looked at Sauli.

“And bitter. God damn, I used to hate tall and gorgeous male models. Fuck them with their long legs. I only hated them because they had something I didn’t”

Sauli is best as talking with experience. He has seen and heard a lot at 20. Adam nodded, catching the point.

“Then I realized I don’t need to hate everything I can’t reach. It’s a waste of time. I won’t grow one inch anymore and that’s it. I’ve learned to accept myself. So it’s weird for me to sometimes see you hate yourself so much. I mean,,, I look at you and see nothing but gorgeousness” Sauli said, gesturing Adam’s body.

Adam looked down at his body and made this ‘yeah, right’ thing.

“It’s a little different thing to criticize the height than the weight. I bet no one is jealous of this” Adam retorted, tapping his hand against his stomach, “Those fuckers are writing shit about me on the internet, in magazines, maybe even talking on TV as I am this so called ‘raising star’ who embarrassed his ass off by falling on stage. They are making fun of me"

“You’re new. They want to sink their teeth into you. They know you’re young and a raising star and vulnerable to comments they make. Don’t listen to them, baby” Sauli whispered, his thumb moving over Adam’s knuckles soothingly.

Adam let his head fall against Sauli’s shoulder.

“I’ve tried to ignore it all but I can’t… “

Sauli wrapped his arm around Adam’s shoulders and rubbed his arm.

“Promise me you won’t be disgusted… “

“About what?” Sauli frowned.

“Sauli I, to start from the beginning… I’ve had a …”

“There you guys are!”

They both raised their eyes to see Brian and Terrance come in. Sauli only had time to open his mouth before Adam was up.

“We can go somewhere to talk” Sauli said, getting up too.

Brian and Terrance glanced at each other.

“Oh? Did we interrupt something or...?” Terrance asked, eyeing his friends.

“Yes” “No” Came the answers exactly the same time.

“You did not” Adam added, “I’ll go soon anyway, I’ve been here for forty minutes already” he said and stepped on the cross trainer, “I’ll just do this for ten minutes and stretch at the end”

Sauli gave a glare to Brian and Terrance.

It was enough for them to know that they indeed did interrupt something.

But how could have they know Sauli and Adam are having some deep conversation in the gym where people are supposed to exercise?

Sauli got back on the treadmill and put on his earphones to listen to some bad ass music that keeps him running until he has done the daily running.

He rather runs outside, but this must do now.

But he can’t stop thinking about what Adam had said.

 

♥♥♥

 

Later that night the whole group was heading out to have some fun. Tommy had found some club that lets minors inside.

When Adam was putting on his eyeliner in front of the mirror, Sauli appeared behind him.

“You look hot” he smiled.

“Thanks” Adam said, focusing on his process. The winged eyeliner Sutan had taught him to do look good in his opinion too.

“Fuck, I can’t see properly, I’m too far away” Adam hissed, bending down and rested his elbows against the counter, really leaning on top of it.

Sauli couldn't help the smirk. He slapped Adam's ass. 

“Ow” Adam pouted, glaring Sauli through the mirror, “I’m trying not to poke myself in the eye”

Sauli chuckled and left the bathroom. He does not want Adam to hurt his eyes, of course. 

He went to his bag and pulled out his drug can. He needs to have it with him everywhere he goes.

Adam came out from the bathroom after a few minutes and frowned when he saw Sauli putting some pills into a very small can that fits into a pocket.

“Painkillers?”

Sauli turned around to see Adam and shook his head.

“No. I carry these with me though I haven’t had an anxiety attack in years”

Adam nodded. Oh. That’s what they were.

“They are some benzodiazepine pills. They treat sudden attacks better than others” Sauli told him and put the can in his pocket.

He walked to Adam and placed his hands on his chest and rose on his toes to reach his lips.

Adam’s wedges make him feel small everytime. 

Adam smiled in the kiss and slowly started to push Sauli backwards, guiding them towards the tempting bed.

When the backs of Sauli’s knees hit the bed, they fell on it.

Sauli hummed in satisfaction. Yes, they could do this for a moment before they leave. 

They could do this over the whole night but they promised to join the others when they go out.

“You know we don’t have time for sex” Sauli declared, murmuring the words against Sauli's lips.

“Yes. But I can make you all hot and bothered now and then you can do nothing but think about me the whole night” Adam murmured, pulling Sauli’s lower lip between his teeth.

Sauli tangled his hands in Adam’s hair and hissed.

“Don’t get cocky, baby” He joked and yanked on the thick locks.

Adam chuckled quietly and rolled them around, throwing Sauli’s leg over his hips to get their groins as close as possible.

Friction is amazing, but it’s not quite enough. Not always.

They continued their kiss, tongues slipping into it too. Adam grasped Sauli's ass, pulling him flush against him and ground against him, moaning softly. 

Sauli pulled away and nudged Adam's head back with his nose, latching his mouth on his neck. Adam sighed. 

Sauli dropped his hands on Adam’s lap to fumble his belt open but... what the fuck?

Adam couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. He dropped his own hand down, knowing his complicated belt buckle better than Sauli. The hooks were tricky to unlock.

“Password?” He teased, not unbuckling it yet.

Sauli groaned, biting on Adam’s neck.

“You are mean” Sauli stated, licking his way lower, pulling the fabric of Adam’s shirt down with his hand to kiss his collarbone.

“Wrong. Try again” Adam gasped, throwing his back with a smile.

“I love you”

Adam beamed, unbuckling his belt.

“Well, that’ll work now” He smiled and pulled his own hand out of the way.

Sauli smiled as well and unzipped the pants, pushing his hand inside the open fly.

To return the favor, Adam reached for Sauli’s crotch.

“We so not have time for this” Sauli gasped, moving his hand against the warm flesh beneath his hand.

Adam pushed up into his hand.

“So why are we doing this?” He asked, panting already.

“Good question” Sauli replied, pulling away.

They breathed harshly against each other, watching the other intensively in the eyes.

They should stop.

Sauli pushed their lips back together with force, rolling Adam on his back, and forgot the exact time they were supposed to leave.

They can be late for a minute or two.

…. Or an hour or two.

 

♥♥♥

 

The night was going great. The dash of alcohol was boosting their social behavior and the sexual drive between Adam and Sauli. Oh please, call them teenagers.

And Adam was enjoying the music. In moments like this he actually feels like he’s life is good.

But even if he tries to keep that feeling up, he fails. Every time.

But now, he likes the alcohol. And his company.

Sauli watched Adam giggling hysterically and it seemed like he was having a blast with others.

Sauli couldn't help chuckling himself too. Adam comes out of his shelter when he gets to know people.

But his smile faded when he saw how many shot glasses were in front of Adam.

"Geez guys how much did you gave him?" He asked, eyeing the row of glasses.

"That much" Terrance said, pointing at the shot glasses.

Well hell, he's going to have a hell of a hangover. And above that, Adam is minor.

Sauli is responsible of him since the vacation is paid by the Sunny Stars. But hopefully this won’t go to his mother’s ears.

There are no paparazzi now. They are not allowed to come here.

Adam burped, hiding it behind his palm and continued laughing.

"You are a little tipsy" Sauli said seriously and pulled him up from the booth.

Adam is so much bigger than him when he wears his high wedges. It was difficult for Sauli to support his weight when Adam could hardly stand on his own.

"We're going back to the hotel. Now"

"No! We can stay" Adam beamed and fumbled his way back to the booth with others.

Sauli sighed and pondered should he sit down as well or go to dance. He decided the latter.

He loves dancing. Of course mostly he would want Adam's body press against him.

Well, he lets Adam experience. He needs it.

He let himself get lost in the thudding of music and the bodies around him. He knows how to have fun.

It took a few minutes until someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around to see Tommy.

"Adam is puking his guts out in the bathroom. He seems... Very upset too"

Sauli didn't even ask when he made his way to the bathrooms.

He knocked on the door of the only stall that was taken. It wasn't even locked so Adam might have been in a rush.

"Adam? You okay?"

"No" Came the answer.

Sauli frowned and cringed when he heard Adam vomit again.

Sauli stepped inside the stall and locked the door, then crouched down beside Adam and stroked his back.

"You done?"

"Nuh-uh" Adam managed to say before he heaved again.

Sauli kept his longer locks off his face and stroked his back soothingly.

"So this means I’m dead in the morning"

"No. You just drank a liiitle too much" Sauli smiled, reaching up to grab a hand tissue and dampened it under the tap, then wiped Adam's mouth area.

Adam shook his head.

“No… I need to tell you something…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it sucked a liiitle, but I hope you liked it even the tiniest bit !


	18. Pretty Hurts 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seem great. 
> 
> As long as....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was quick because now you need to wait a little longer :)

Sauli looked at Adam for a few seconds, then decided it was not right when he was drunk.

"You shouldn't say serious things when you've consumed that much alcohol. You end up regretting" Sauli said, because he doesn't want Adam to talk that stuff under the influence.

If Adam wants to tell him whatever is in his mind, he will do it sober.

"I'm not even that drunk..." Adam huffed, stumbling on his feet, "but if you don't wanna know oki then"

Adam's head spun and he fell against Sauli. Sauli caught him and kept himself steady or they would have both fallen on the floor.

"Of course I want to know, but not now. We go to the hotel now. You need some sleep" Sauli decided and helped Adam out of the stall.

He wiped Adam's smudged make-up off his cheeks and pulled him out from the bathrooms.

"You guys can stay but we need to leave" Sauli said to their entourage, gesturing towards Adam, "He needs some rest"

"Take care of him" Scarlett frowned, concerned.

"Always" Sauli smiled slightly and held onto Adam when they left the club.

Adam felt good when the cool night air reached his hot cheeks.

"Can you walk? Or do you need a cab?" Sauli asked.

"Let's just walk... I might need to vomit again and I really don’t want to do it in the cab"

Luckily the hotel wasn't too far away. Maybe they can manage with the short distance.

Sauli had troubles with holding Adam’s so much taller body on its feet when they walked the streets.

Luckily he has a lot of strength.

Adam stumbled on some soda can that was thrown on the street and cursed.

“Fuck you” he yelled after some person that probably didn’t have anything to do with the said can.

Sauli mouthed his apologies to the person.

“Shut up, will you? You make a fool out of yourself” Sauli said and tried to ignore the looks they got after Adam’s remark.

Sauli remembers the day when he was drunk for the first time. He ended up getting it bad considering the treatment he got from his father when he got home.

Fortunately Adam wasn’t going home.

Adam jerked out of Sauli’s hold and scooted over the nearest trash can and vomited again.

Sauli grimaced and automatically looked around to see if anyone was looking at them.

How embarrassing. Gladly Adam wasn’t in the crawling condition.

When Adam was done, Sauli pulled him with him, little roughly maybe but they needed to get their asses in the hotel as soon as possible.

~*~

Once in the hotel, Sauli pushed Adam into the elevator and stepped in after him. Adam looked like he could fall asleep on his feet.

“Don’t fall now or I won’t be able to get you back up” Sauli groaned when he tried to keep Adam up and conscious.

Adam just hummed and leaned against the wall, eyes closed. 

Sauli cursed when the elevator stopped before their floor, and a man stepped in with a boy and a girl kid. The boy was sleeping on the man’s arms while the girl held on to his hand.

“Going up?” The man asked.

Sauli nodded, moving aside to make some room.

Adam opened his eyes when he heard a strange male voice talk.

Something clutched his heart when he watched the man protectively hold the sleeping boy in his arms.

The girl instead was staring at him, chewing on her thumb.

She was clearly shy since she was hiding behind her father’s leg when Adam looked at her.

No wonder due to Adam’s smudged make up. He must look scary and weird in her eyes.

She watched the way Adam leaned against the wall and how Sauli’s fingers were intertwined with his.

She tugged on her father’s pant leg to get his attention. He glanced over his shoulder to see what she was staring at.

While Sauli didn’t pay any attention, Adam instead expected a disgust appear on the man’s face or he'd turn the girl's head.

But instead he started smiling at his daughter.

“Like me and your dad when we were in our early 20s”

Even though Adam’s vision was partly blurry and he could barely stand, he automatically smiled slightly.

The man glanced at Adam’s face and saw that his comment made him happy. He could tell Adam was drunk but hey, at least he was behaving well in front of the kids.

Then the girl glanced at Sauli.

“That’s the man from daddy’s secret magazine” She whispered.

Sauli suddenly woke up from his thoughts and his eyes went wide. Oh god, his old photo shoot was once put into an, well, adult magazine.

The man was clearly as surprised as Sauli. Adam looked surprised as well but not as badly as Sauli expected him to.

He actually tried to hide his laughter by biting his lips together.

“How many times I have to tell you not to go to dad’s drawer?”

“Sorry, papa”

The man changed a look with Sauli who was red as a tomato. Well, he just gave a perfect impression about himself to a little girl.

Great. Thank god the elevator reached their floor then.

Sauli pulled the giggling Adam out quickly, not hiding the fact that their handhold was pure display of affection and love.

Not just a helping hand of a friend. Literally.

Of course it was Sauli’s way to keep Adam following him too.

He used his other hand to pull his room card out of his pocket and opened the door to their suite.

He let go of Adam once inside to take off his jacket and shoes, trusting that Adam will stand on his own for a few seconds.

But Adam walked straight to the bed and slumped down on his stomach. The movement was too much to his body so he turned on his back when he felt familiar pressure in his throat again.

Sauli sighed and walked to him, unzipped his boots and pulled them off one by one.

Adam sighed blissfully when his feet were freed from the boots and he wiggled his toes.

He giggled quietly when Sauli started to work on his belt and the zipper of his pants. 

"A blow job?” He asked hopefully. 

“No” Sauli chuckled, tapping Adam's thigh.

Sauli didn’t quite have the same thoughts as him. His intention was just to undress Adam and put him to sleep.

Adam pouted.

Adam didn’t even wear briefs. Sauli noticed it when he pulled the edges of the zipper apart and saw the tempting pubic hair instead of cotton.

“Raise your hips if you can, please” Sauli groaned when he started to pull the pants down.

They were tight and it was tricky to get them off.

After the pants went off, Sauli somehow managed to take Adam’s jacket and shirt off as well.

He used cotton pads to remove his makeup because he knows how harmful makeup is for the skin if it’s left over night. Especially because Adam’s makeup is often heavy.

When Sauli finally got him under the covers, Adam was already falling asleep. 

Sauli kissed his forehead and went into the bathroom.

 

♥♥♥

 

The following morning Adam woke up when the bed dipped and woah. His head is pounding hard. Like a hammer is beating him.

He moaned pitifully and pushed his face against the pillow like a cat. That's when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"How do you feel?"

"Like a million bucks" Adam said in sarcasm and turned on his back.

Yikes, the room is really weird. Spinning all over and God, what is that taste in his mouth?

"I bet. Here, drink this" Sauli smiled and gave Adam a glass of fresh juice, "Unfortunately I don't have any painkillers. If you need some, I can ask someone"

Adam shook his head, which turned out to be a mistake. His vision changed more blurry and his head protested.

"Oh god, I'll never drink again" He said and took a careful sip of the fresh juice, then placed it on the nightstand.

He threw his arm over his eyes to block away the light that hurt his eyes and head.

Why did he take so many last night? If he would have stopped when Sauli told him to, he might not feel like a zombie right now.

"I might die"

Sauli laughed quietly, petting Adam's hair,

"Trust me, you won't"

"And I'm naked" Adam informed, "Did you undress me?"

"Yes. I would have left you in your briefs but you didn't happen to have any. And I didn't want you to sleep in leather pants. I promise I didn't do anything inappropriate" Sauli said and got up the bed.

Adam turned on his stomach and groaned into the pillow.

"How badly I was drunk? I don’t remember anything"

Sauli grabbed himself a water bottle from the mini bar and sat back down.

"Well,,, You threw up like 7 times, could barely walk and gave a finger to ranom people"

Oh God. No wonder people hate him. Maybe the paparazzi caught it on camera too.

"Eighth time coming" Adam managed to say and stormed up from the bed to the bathroom.

Sauli heard him vomit and he grimaced. The boy must have lost everything from his body during the night. He needs to make sure Adam drinks enough water today.

Oh, always the so lovely hangover. It might or might not take a while until Adam touches the alcohol again.

Also their discussion has to wait now. Adam is not able to talk in the state his in even though Sauli wants so badly to know what he was about to say in the bathroom last night.

He wonders if Adam even remembers the situation.

And they should return to LA today too. Days just fly when there is not stress involved.

Adam came back from the bathroom and collapsed on the bed on his stomach. 

That ass though, Sauli thought to himself. 

Adam crawled up and turnd on his side, hugging Sauli's pillow.

Sauli tucked Adam back under the covers until his dick would take an interest in the sight of his beautiful ass or his impressive flaccid cock, and kissed his forehead.

"No lips?" Adam pouted.

"No, baby. Ew" Sauli teased lovingly, obviously referring to Adam’s throwing up seconds ago and pecked Adam on the upper lip instead.

He placed himself against the headboard and placed a pillow on his crotch, then tapped the space between his legs.

"Come here. I'll rub your head"

Adam moved there with a struggle, placing his head on Sauli's lap.

He knows Sauli's skills. He has given him massages before. Head, neck, shoulders and back. Even foot rubs. 

Sauli placed his fingertips on Adam's temples and started rubbing soothingly, gently, not with too much pressure.

Adam purred at the contact, already feeling a little bit better.

"That feels good"

"I know. Just relax. You can even sleep some more if you feel like that. The hangover might ease a bit"

Adam hummed, closing his eyes. Yeah. He can easily fall asleep like this. 

”How long will this last?”

“The hangover?" Sauli asked, "It depends”

Sauli didn’t want to tell him that the headache might last the whole day. In the worst cases it might continue till the next morning. It's very unlikely though because Adam is so young. 

"The more you drink water, the sooner it gets better" Sauli told him. 

“Okay. When we need to leave back to LA?”

“Don’t worry about it. Tommy is likely as hangover as you so we don’t have any rush. We might be back in LA by the night”

Adam just hummed. Sauli dragged his fingertips to Adam’s hairline and kept them there for a moment, before he placed his thumbs on the top of Adam’s scalp and his other fingers massaged the sides.

Adam sighed in bliss.

Maybe he won’t die after all.

 

♥♥♥

 

They left Monterey plaza hotel and spa in the afternoon and they arrived to LA late at night.  
They all sounded almost enthusiastic when Sauli told them they’ll see again tomorrow at work.

And that wasn’t sarcasm. Maybe.

 

"Home, sweet home" Sauli sighed and dropped his suitcase down when they arrived back home.

Travelling is always nice, but home is always home.

He heard happy barking and puppy steps. Fluffie approached them happily and excitedly jumped against Sauli’s legs.

"Fluffie! Aaw I missed you too! Oh my goodness you’ve grown!" Sauli squealed, scratching the back of his ears, "Did you have fun with Pia?"

"I had fun with him" Came a female voice somewhere near.

The girl, Pia, walked to them and gave Sauli a welcoming hug.

Adam's fingers twitched in jealousy even though there was no reason. And on top of that, she’s a girl. 

"How was your trip?" Pia asked Sauli after she pulled away.

"Oh, it was wonderful. Pia, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend Adam" Sauli proudly smiled and wrapped his arm around Adam's waist, "Adam this is Pia, my very good friend"

They shook hands with smiles.

"I've heard about you. And Sauli's been talking about you" She smiled.

Adam just smiled at her.

"But I'll leave you guys alone now. See you around" She said and picked her stuff up from the coat rack.

"Okay. And thanks once again for looking after Fluffie and keeping my house on its stand" Sauli said, giving her a kiss on the cheek and opened the door for her.

Gentleman he is.

“Anytime” She smiled and waved a good-bye to Adam too, then left.

Sauli closed the door after Pia left and smirked at Adam.

"What?"

"Beside Fluffie I've really missed our bed" He said and took Adam's hand, pulling him towards their room upstairs.

Adam smiled, rolling his eyes but followed willingly. He has also missed their bed. It's perfectly bouncy but not too soft. 

"I bet it has missed us just as much" Sauli continued and fell on the bed, pulling Adam on top of him.

"Maybe not. What if it doesn't like being hit against the wall?" Adam frowned, touching the headboard which has banged against the wall too many times. Poor bed. 

"Good point. Maybe we should treat it nicely then" Sauli whispered, pushing Adam on his back and laid on his side next to him, "But you need to tell me what's up with you first" He continued and dipped his fingers underneath Adam's shirt just to stroke his tummy. 

He noticed his hipbones are jutting more than usually. Adam let his look down, not wanting to look at Sauli's eyes.

“Why do you assume something is up with me?"

Sauli frowned, shaking his head slightly.

“Because that's what you said yourself a few nights ago.”

“I was drunk” Adam snapped and kept pulling on the bed cover in small, nervous movements, “When you will stop worrying about me and instead believe that I am okay?”

"The moment you can prove that you are. Adam, please"

Adam pushed Sauli's hand off his hip, but Sauli returned it there almost right away. 

"I am not going to let go until you talk" Sauli firmly said, feeling awful for pressuring but if something was eating Adam inside, he wants to know what it is, "Escaping situations will only lead you to face them later. They won’t magically just disappear"

Adam sighed and scooted up to a sitting position. Sauli sat up as well, feeling if he let Adam go now he won't get the new chance again.

Adam opened his mouth but not a single word came out of his mouth.

“You could trust in me even sometimes” He said after a few quiet seconds.

Sauli wanted to say he does. But then again, he doesn’t believe in him in this thing. In what thing, he asks himself.

Maybe he’s being paranoid.

“I know what you doubt. And the answer is no. I’m not sick in any way. Scarlett kept hinting me about sharing secrets and things like she knew something. All of you guys have watched me weird after I used the bathroom after the meal in the restaurant. I ate like a fucking horse and I would have exploded if I didn’t get to use it. So what’s the fuss? I’d tell you if there was something to tell” Adam poured out, putting more pressure on his last sentence.

He looked at Sauli then with some kind of hurt in his eyes. Sauli could see it. 

“Why do I bother to believe in you and the things you say when you don’t believe a word I say to you?”

Sauli felt bad then. 

Adam is right. He should be able to put his own doubts aside and trust in the fact that Adam would tell him if there was something going on.

Sauli let out a low breath and hugged Adam.

“I’m sorry. Of course I trust and believe in you. Sometimes it’s just hard to push away the doubts when you love someone so dearly”

The words made Adam smile the slightest bit.

“I know. But I’m fine. I promise” He said, turning around to sit face to face with Sauli.

“Then I believe you” Sauli smiled, “I’m sorry”

Adam nodded and accepted the apology.

“I will show you just how fine I am” He smiled, small smirk playing on his lips as he straddled Sauli’s slim body and pinned him down.

“I like the sound of that” Sauli murmured and pulled Adam’s head down to capture his lips into a kiss. 

He tastes like mint. Sauli doesn’t always quite understand why Adam has to brush his teeth when he knows they’ll have sex soon.

Oh well.

Sauli loves the way how Adam always lets his body fully on top of his only after few minutes of kissing.

That is when Sauli usually opens his legs wider to get a better body contact. He loves to feel Adam bigger body cover his from head to toe, body heavy between his thighs.

The sound of their harsh breathing and gentle, maybe fast, also an obscene sound of their lips smacking together is kind of soothing.

Adam gasped quietly when Sauli grabbed a handful of his ass and pulled his body even closer.

Their groins ground against one another, making them both groan at the pressure.

Sauli hooked his leg behind Adam’s thighs and slightly thrust himself up against Adam.

Their kiss grew more aggressive and passionate, tongues carefully slipping in the game.

Sauli’s moaned, squeezing Adam's ass. If Adam’s pants weren’t so damn tight, Sauli would have already slipped his fingers inside of them and touch his bare flesh instead.

Sauli’s burning need to touch some skin was overwhelming so he let go of Adam’s bottom and slid his hands under Adam’s shirt.

Adam brought his own hand down underneath Sauli’s top to touch his taut abs.

He rolled his body off Sauli and lay on his side next to him instead, his hands still wandering on his stomach.

Sauli’s fingers kept dancing on Adam’s sides but he knows Adam’s ticklish from there so he moved them on his hips. 

Something made him pull away.

“What?” Adam panted, his lips swollen and rosy red.

Sauli glanced down and saw his hipbones again. He wanted to say something but without any chance to say anything, Adam pushed their lips back together and guided Sauli’s hand away from there.

Sauli melted back into the kiss.

"Do you want my hands somewhere else?" he whispered against Adam’s lips and teased the edge of his pants, fingertips already slipped underneath the tight fabric.

"Please...."

Sauli let his hand wander lower and gently squeezed the warm bulge. He rubbed his hand in circles there while they kissed. 

Adam moved against his hand, quietly panting in the kiss. 

"Sauli...." Adam whispered, nuzzling Sauli’s face, his hot breath brushing Sauli’s skin. 

Sauli smiled and unbuttoned Adam pants, then pulled down the zipper.

It was a little tricky to pull it down, he doesn't want to hurt Adam's in the process.

He managed with it anyway, and came in contact with his underwear when he pushed his hands inside the fly.

Oh, now he wears underwear. With the tightest pair of pants he owns. Well, who cares.

Sauli slid his hand further inside. Adam hissed when Sauli rubbed the tip of his cock through the cotton.

Sauli found the sensitive underside and gently scratched it through the fabric, making Adam shudder and his hips jerked automatically. 

Sauli pulled Adam’s cock out of his pants and looked down, licking his lips. The thick, pinkish head, hard like a fucking rock and juices oozing down from the slit... 

Sauli could spent hours just kissing and loving it.

"You make me so horny....." Adam grunted and turned over, straddling Sauli's waist again.

Sauli smirked up at him and kept tugging on his cock.

“Figured as much. And likewise” Sauli beamed, jerking his hips a little to let Adam know he was affecting him exactly the same way.

Adam rose on his knees and brought his hand behind him, cupping Sauli’s crotch. 

He hummed approvingly with a smug smile.

"Let me feel you… I want to feel you against me. I want to feel your skin" Sauli whispered suddenly and Adam's eyes darkened when he looked back at him, "Please..."

Sauli managed to take of his T-shirt and toss it aside. 

Still a little unsure and partly vulnerable, Adam let go of Sauli’s groin and got rid of his own shirt under the loving pair of eyes.

For a few seconds Sauli let go of Adam’s hot cock and placed his both hands on Adam’s stomach.

“There is something utterly beautiful in you…” he whispered, sliding his hands all over the skin.

Adam stopped his hands on his chest. He held on to them when he lowered himself above Sauli and pinned them against the mattress above Sauli’s head.

Adam ground down his hips, rubbing his heated cock against Sauli's abs.

And boy it felt good…

Sauli pressed his palm on top of it, keeping it trapped against his stomach as Adam thrust against him.

How is this so hot, Sauli wondered and looked down to see Adam’s dick push through.

All the rubbing is wonderful and all sort of sexy but Sauli’s cock will explode if he doesn’t get it in the game as well.

"C' mere" Sauli whispered and gently pulled on Adam's hair, making him lean down for a kiss. The taste was sweet and addictive, making them both crave for more.

But shortly, Sauli pulled away, panting. Adam thought his face looked wilder than probably ever before.

"On my face....."

Adam's stomach flipped and his cock jumped eagerly.

"What...?"

"Rub it on my face.... I want to feel it..." Sauli replied and caressed Adam's cheek. Adam kissed his fingers and nodded.

"Yeah... Yeah, I can do that..." Adam obeyed and started to slide off his pants. His cock sprang fully free and his balls wiggled in the move.

Sauli bit his lip when he watched them as Adam got closer to his face after he had gotten rid of his pants.

"Come" Sauli commanded and pulled Adam closer by the back of his thighs.

Adam fumbled closer and took some support from the wall as he pushed his dick against Sauli's cheek.

Fuck, he had a stubble. It scratched the tender area beneath the head of Adam’s cock, making Adam shiver.

Sauli sighed and grabbed the base of the cock, nuzzling it to his face. 

Only a few minutes later Sauli made a ninja move and grabbed Adam's hips, somehow managing to push him down on the bed.

"Hey! Careful!"

"Sorry... " Sauli mumbled and went down on Adam.

He faced his hard cock that rose from a patch of ginger pubic hair.

Sauli did something Adam hadn’t experienced before.

He deep-throated him in one swift move, his nose almost touching the hair around the base of Adam’s cock.

It ripped a surprised moan out of Adam’s mouth.

Even though Sauli couldn’t keep it for long, it was the best thing Adam has experienced on his cock by a mouth.

_Throat_. 

Sauli reached for his own zipper and pulled it down to ease the tight pressure he was feeling.

Adam suddenly felt bad for just taking what Sauli was giving but not giving anything back.

“Take them off… Then lay the fuck down and it’s your turn”

Sauli didn’t waste a second until he almost tore off his jeans and threw them out of the way.

The minute he was naked too, Adam had him laying down on the bed and he was sliding down his body, plating kisses on the taut muscles until he reached his cock.

He loves that cock. It’s uncircumcised, gorgeous and it’s Sauli’s.

“Hand me the lube”

“What? You don’t need it yet” Sauli said, desperate to feel Adam’s hot mouth around his hard flesh.

“Yes I do. Give it to me” Adam insisted, giving a tentative lick to the tip of Sauli’s cock.

“Fuck…” Sauli hissed, reaching for his drawer to grab the lube Adam said he needed.

Adam uncapped it and spurted some on his fingers, then reached behind himself…

“I know you want me” He smirked and put his warm mouth around Sauli’s cock while he started opening himself up.

 

♥

 

After Adam was done with himself, Sauli was leaking and harder than he has ever been in his life.

Adam had kept him on the edge, pulling away every time he was about to come and kept fingering himself open.

He had slowly driven Sauli crazy. Sauli can now prove that the shy people turn out to be the most passionate ones in bed once you get to know them.

Sauli grabbed a condom from his drawer, tore the wrapper carefully open and rolled the condom on his cock.

Adam straddled Sauli’s hips and took a hold of his dick, spreading some lube on him then slowly lowered himself down.

It always feels strange at first. So tight and full but still so wonderfully amazing.

Adam started with small movements of his hips, just swaying from side to side and back and forth.

Sauli gripped on Adam’s hips and hissed something like ‘move’, Adam couldn't really tell. It was said with a raw desperation and it made Adam hungry for more.

Adam sped up slowly, making sure his own body is ready for the ride he was about to give.

They both closed their eyes in the pleasure, so many sensations running through their bodies. 

Adam started the bouncing, pushing his body up with his strong thighs and then slamming his hips back down.

It made Sauli open his eyes. He loves to watch Adam ride him like that, he gets to watch his cock disappear into Adam's hot body all over again. He gets to see Adam _loving_ the riding.

When lost in the pleasure, Adam always runs his hands on his own body more willingly than usually.

He feels himself sexier during their intercourse, especially when he's riding. 

It wasn't any different now. He ran his hands on his chest, pinching his nipples, then caressed his stomach with the other palm. 

Sauli felt so much love. When he was in his teens and experiencing, he’d have sex with a stranger more easily.

But now, watching himself with Adam and really having feelings for him, he can’t understand how.

It all feels so much better with the one you’re in love with. They know you and you know them. Not just the bodies but minds too.

You share things, give things and receive things.

Adam grabbed the headboard of the bed for support and changed his position to a squat. 

"Holy shit..." Sauli managed to stutter. 

"It's called the Asian style" Adam winked, sitting still. 

"Yes, I know" Sauli choked out, feeling overwhelmed by the tight hug of Adam's ass but he was not _moving_ , "You've been learning?"

"I looked it up" Adam said, "Only for education reasons" he added with a dirty wink.

"I don't really care for which reasons" Sauli hissed, "Please bunny, move" 

Adam grinned, still holding onto the headboard and started moving. 

He didn't really find the position easier, vice versa, it was more tiring, actually. But it felt like Sauli's cock sank deeper and more smoothly into him like this. 

Sauli bent his knees to maybe make Adam feel more secure. He could easily wobble in this position and they don't need any injuries of any kind. 

Sauli watched the hypnotizing moving in awe. Adam was moaning quietly, like he was still a little embarrassed to make raw and obscene sounds in bed. 

"Fuck, you are amzing..." Sauli groaned, throwing his head back in bliss.

Adam could never get tired of hearing Sauli fall apart beneath him like this but his legs can definitely get tired and he doesn't want cramps. 

He stopped moving for a while and caught his breath. 

"Hey, just take it easy" Sauli said then, raising his head from the pillows, "Just hold still, I can thrust up into you"

"Yeah?" 

"Oh yeah" Sauli confirmed, grabbing Adam's fleshy thighs and started working his hips. 

Adam bit his lip as he looked at Sauli's face. He could read the desperation on his face and he could hear it in his breathy moans and groans. 

Adam wrapped his other hand around his own cock. He stroked himself in the same rhythm as Sauli thrust into him. 

He was leaking already and he felt himself pulse in his hand. He won't last long, that's for sure. 

He forced himself to let go of his cock for now and just focus on the ramming against his prostate.

He whimpered, unable to help the small, bouncy movements. Fuck, he wants to make Sauli cum with _his_ hips. 

"Stop, stop" He hissed, pushing on Sauli's lower belly. Sauli stopped immediately although a little confused.

"You okay?" He asked, out of breath. 

"Yeah, I'm okay. But I can continue now" Adam said, getting back to his previous position which was sitting on Sauli's dick. 

No complaining from Sauli. 

As Adam started to move, he wrapped his fingers around his aching cock again. 

“No. Let me” Sauli whispered gently and replaced Adam's hand with his, starting to jerk him off. 

Adam nodded, keeping up the thrusting.

He loved Sauli’s hands on him. He loved to make him feel good like this and he loved that they were together.

“Baby, you feel so good…" Sauli groaned, "I don't think I'm gonna last..."

"Why would you have to?" Adam asked, panting, and started to work his hips even wilder.

"I’m gonna come…” Sauli hissed, his fist around Adam’s cock automatically tightening. He stopped the movement of his hand when he felt his orgasm build up, ready to be released.

Adam smiled proudly and slammed down hard a few more times. He almost whined when Sauli didn’t start to stroke him but he understood him. 

Sauli was so focused on his own orgasm that was about to come and it was coming hard.

“Please, Sauli... Just a little, I'm so close" He whimpered.

It caught Sauli’s attention and he started to jerk him off again. 

He stopped again when Adam gave a hard thrust of his hips and Sauli arched his back, moaning blissfully.

Adam knows that moan.

"Oh baby..." Sauli moaned, his orgasm tearing him apart in the best possible way, "Oh fuck...!"

Hearing Sauli moan like that almost sent Adam over the edge. 

He quickly pulled off of Sauli's spent cock and Sauli rolled off the condom. Adam sat back down on his lap and Sauli wrapped his fingers around the throbbing flesh.

He stroked him fast, fondling Adam's tight balls with his free hand. 

A few seconds and Adam moaned, his cock jumping as it spurted on Sauli’s chest and on his fist. He felt like he shot more than ever before, cum splattering all over.

He breathed harshly when Sauli slowly stroked his cock, more cum oozing out. 

His whole body jerked powerfully when the touch was too strong on his tingling, sensitive flesh.

Sauli tied the condom and tossed it in the trash, then pulled Adam down on top of him.

They shared a tasty, satisfied and lazy kiss. They didn’t say anything because they didn’t need to.

When Adam got off Sauli’s body and lay down on the bed, messy and satisfied, Sauli snuggled up close to him.

 

♥♥♥A few days later… ♥♥♥

 

"Your first official salary is up" Sauli said and closed the laptop in his office, "Feel free to go shopping or anything you want”

Adam chuckled and placed the last folder in the book shelf, then sat on Sauli's desk.

"Feels surreal. The money is actually mine and I can use it however I want to"

"Sure it is. You deserve it. You’ve done a great job" Sauli smiled and stroked Adam's thighs up and down.

"Don't. Someone will storm in" Adam said and hopped down from the desk until they would have some wild idea to have sex on the table.

Sauli beamed.

"Maybe. Could you go to put these into the folders in backroom?" He asked and handed Adam his latest files.

Adam nodded and grabbed the folder. Folders and folders. He wonders when Sauli will drown in them.

While it feels weird to work for Sauli, it's also very rewarding.

Adam entered the backroom and wrote down the date on the papers Sauli gave him. The curiosity hit him.

He bit his lip and glanced around, then peeked into the folder. He knows some of them are private files and he can’t look at them.

But since there read ’Koskinen, Sauli’ on the cover, he couldn’t help it.

He saw black and white, metallic shades in one of the photos.

He pulled one photo out, careful not to press his fingers against them.

"Holy fucking Christ" He whispered.

Sauli was almost naked. Posing in his tight briefs, all his muscles contrasted with metallic colors.

No, don't stare, Adam told himself, don't fucking stare.

Why did Sauli not tell him about this photo shoot? Well, he did tell him about just one photo shoot he was going to make after a few months of break.

He has rather photographed than been on the camera lately.

Behind the wall, Sauli jumped on his chair when he heard something drop in the backroom.

“Adam? You okayi in there?” He asked loudly, still focused on his documents.

“Uh huh”

Sauli’s head perked up and he glanced towards the backroom door.

Then he remembered all the photo frames he keeps in there so he scooted up from his chair and walked at the door, stepping in to see if Adam dropped something that’s very dear to him.

The expression of guilt on Adam’s face was something so precious.

Sauli noticed he had opened the folder and the thing that had dropped was some old folder.

He put his hands on his hips and looked at Adam like he was mad which he really wasn't.

“I-I just… I didn’t mean to. I was just curious because I saw your name and I just-"

Sauli burst into a bright smile and he shook his head at Adam. He knew Adam would check them.

“Do you like them?”

“Do I like them, I love them” Adam hissed, still staring at one of the photos. He was relieved Sauli wasn't really mad at him.

But someone has seen Sauli like this. Someone has seen him half naked instead of him.

Photographers are just photographers, Sauli always says. Yeah, just photographers, says the one who drooled over his model’s legs and now dates him.

“I can hear your jealousy, babe. Stop it and let’s go to have some lunch” Sauli smiled and grabbed the folder from Adam and put it in the book shelf.

“Not hungry yet” Adam said, pouting when Sauli pulled him out from the back room. Like Sauli just took away his favorite boots.

He wanted to watch the photos more closely.

“But I am and I don’t want to eat alone”

“Ask Tommy. Or Scarlett. Or anyone. Your agency is full of your friends”

Sauli sighed and turned around.

“They’re busy. And I’m hungry. You come with me now” Sauli insisted and poked Adam in the stomach, “This needs food”

Adam groaned.

“You could probably ask me anything and I would always obey” He said, smiling a bit and wrapped his arm around Sauli’s shoulders when they walked out of the office.

Sauli’s arm went around Adam’s waist.

“Good. I ask you to kiss me”

Adam chuckled and bent down to plant a brief kiss on Sauli’s lips.

 

♥♥♥

 

Later back at home, they watched a movie which was on TV and just cuddled and talked.

Adam has a photo shoot in a few days and Lee wants to do a photo shoot with both of them.

Adam agreed to do some sweet and sexy photo shoot with Sauli and he feels like he might regret it later.

Sauli was in the kitchen making popcorn and getting some drinks.

He yawned, pouring himself some water from the bottle while the popcorns were popping in the microwave oven.

He noticed the fridge was slightly open so he closed it.

Did he leave it open in the evening before the movie started? But he didn't even take anything from there.

He shrugged. Maybe Adam just wanted a late night snack since his chocolate is gone.

Again.

That cutie.

When the microwave oven peeped, Sauli pulled out the popcorns and returned to the living room.

He snuggled close to Adam and placed the popcorn bowl on his lap.

"This movie is so crappy" Adam informed.

Sauli hummed in agreement. Totally crappy. He would much rather do something else.

That is a not bad idea at all actually...

Sauli put the popcorn bowl on the floor and straddled Adam's body, not wasting a second when he made his way to lick his neck.

"Uhh... Sauli..."

"I want you", Sauli whispered, "Now"

Adam dipped his head back when he felt Sauli's hands slither under his shirt.

"Not now..."

Sauli stopped right away and frowned, sitting up on Adam's lap.

"Okay" He said quietly, "But why?"

"I'm just not feeling too well right now..." Adam said quietly, gazing into Sauli's eyes.

Sauli sat up and touched his forehead to check his temperature.

"You don't feel hot" He said, placing his fingers on Adam's cheek too.

"No, I... My stomach just hurts a little" Adam pouted. Sauli moved off from top of him, not wanting to add any extra pressure on his guts.

“Have you eaten something that doesn't quite agree with you?" Sauli asked. 

“I dunno… Maybe”

Sauli got up from the couch and let Adam lay down instead. 

“I hope you won’t fall ill. I need you at the agency tomorrow” Sauli said and crouched down next to the couch, gently smilng at Adam.

“I won’t. I will help you with the documents and folders. This will pass” Adam smiled, rubbing his stomach, “Maybe that movie just made me queasy”

Sauli chuckled and stroked his arm.

“Could be. It was seriously kind of crappy”

Sauli got back on the couch, settling next to Adam, and pulled a blanket over their bodies.

“I won’t leave alone to suffer" He said with a smile, "Besides, I know you ate my chocolate. That much sugar-"

“Shut up. I like chocolate ” Adam pouted and hugged Sauli’s body, “Pamper me a little?”

Sauli rolled his eyes and chuckled.

He knows he will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was OK! My last exam week begins next Thursday so now I need to read and read and read :) .... Maybe write a little. If you guys ask nicely.


	19. Hard times just won't go away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam struggles. Sauli finally notices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few words of warning: This chapter has a very heavy subject, (Read the tags) but also love and such, like always.

Sauli should not distract him when he’s talking on the phone with his mom. It’s just not acceptable trying to make him lose his focus.

Sauli was snickering against the skin between his shoulder blades and his hands were firmly on Adam’s hips.

“Yeah, mom I _god_ , would you stop?” Adam groaned then, in the middle of his sentence, trying to jerk away from Sauli’s hold, “The dog!” He added, rolling his eyes at his mother’s question.

He glanced at Fluffie who lay on the kitchen floor all innocent unlike his owner.

But he could not say that to his mom. The situation would end up being way too awkward knowing his mother. 

“I’m fine. Of course they write crap about me. I’m okay, really. Would you please just tell me where you’re at so I can give you driving instructions?” Adam finally got himself out of Sauli’s hold and hissed at him after walking out of the kitchen.

Sauli kept giggling and continued preparing the dinner. He’s in a good mood because his agency will soon turn years. They will have a small party with the employees.

Something he’s more nervous about is that Adam’s mother wants to meet him though.

Like today. On the dinner he’s making now.

Oh God, he should not feel this happy and giddy or Leila will think he’s high or some shit. That might not be cool.

“Mom’s here soon” Adam informed when he came back into the kitchen.

“Okay” Sauli replied, reaching for the potato masher.

Adam let out a long sigh which caught Sauli’s attention.

“You seem more nervous than me” He said, briefly glancing at Adam who stood arms crossed beside him.

“Well, it’s mom. I want her to like you”

Sauli arched an eyebrow at him.

“You doubt she wouldn’t? You worry too much”

“That’s the way I am” Adam said, shrugging.

“I know” Sauli smiled, giving an affectionate pet to his lower back, “But who could not love me?”

Adam nudged Sauli with his hip playfullyand rolled his eyes. Oh, to be blessed with that much confidence.

Adam stepped aside when Sauli started mashing the potatoes, and sat on the counter top, waving his feet.

“And not a word about the photo shoots I’ve done or the one we’ll do tomorrow” Adam said, not really believing Sauli would do it but you never know.

Maybe by an accident.

Sauli huffed.

“Definitely not or she will sue me”

Adam just chuckled.

“I’ll go put something more on than just these briefs” Adam said, hopping down from the counter, “I recommend the same for you”

Sauli laughed, glancing down at his body. He was wearing black briefs that had a print at the back which said 'Warning! Private property'. 

“Something wrong with my outfit?” he joked and gave a look at Adam.

“Definitely not. You should wear those jockstraps you wore last night" Adam said thoughtfully. He bit his lip just thinking about them on Sauli. He doesn't care if they were originally designed for sports, they are the official 'I'm ready' pants. 

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, you little minx?" Sauli asked in a low voice and winked at Adam. 

"I just might" Adam smirked, "Seriously though, you need to-"

“I will change, don’t be silly. I just finish making the dinner first” Sauli smiled at him. Adam nodded, leaving the kitchen.

He hopes this goes well and will not end up being awkward for all of them.

 

~*~

 

Leila was eying Sauli from head to toe when she had arrived. First she had been greeted by Fluffie, of course.

But since Leila was wearing a dress, Sauli commanded him to go somewhere else or he would tear her stockings.

Leila watched Sauli for a long time; His silvery locks, black jeans and a regular T-shirt with American flag and stuff on it.

Not over-dressed but stylish. What else can you expect from a fashion professional?

“Hi, I’m Sauli, Adam’s employer and more importantly, a boyfriend. Very nice to meet you” Sauli said with a smile and reached out to take Leila’s hand, then kissed it.

Leila laughed and approved. She already likes him.

“Let’s have some dinner” Sauli said and lead Leila into the dining room while Adam followed them with a small smile like a puppy.

Luckily even one of his parents is interested in his life. In a good way.

“Looks good. And smells good” Leila said, sitting down, "I hope it tastes good too"

“I sure hope so too. All homemade and all by me. Adam was lazy” Sauli beamed and sat across Leila once he had helped her in her seat.

“Hey!” Adam gasped, “I did help you” He squeaked, placing his butt on the chair next to Sauli’s. 

“You did. A little” Sauli teased.

Adam rolled his eyes. Sauli enjoys this.

He wonders how good friends will Leila and Sauli be. Then she can tell him all the embarrassing things from his childhood and such.

When Adam was reaching out to take the salad, he almost dropped the salad tongs when Leila asked;

“What’s up with your hand? Your knuckles are all red”

Sauli glanced at his hand as well and frowned.

“Dryness. You know how sensitive my skin" Adam said to his mom and dropped the picked salad on his plate.

Leila nodded. True. She turned her attention on Sauli who was still looking at Adam’s hand.

"So, Sauli… How long have you been modeling?"

Sauli ripped his eyes off Adam’s hand and looked at Leila.

"Officially since the age of 15. Now I have the agency so I've achieved a lot considering my age" Sauli told proudly.

“True. You’re young and you can still achieve a lot of things, more things, in your life” She said and grabbed the salad tongs after Adam had put them down.

“I know. We’ll see how far I can get” Sauli smiled and tried not to look at Adam who just poked his dinner with his fork.

"So,,, Is the porn industry familiar?"

"Mom!" Adam gasped, "Can you not"

But Sauli just laughed. He has been asked this before and he's not insulted by that. Of course he would rather not have people assuming he’s done such thing.

Why would he? Is it something about his looks? 

"No, actually. Never even considered. You can trust that I am not gonna take a part and I’m not trying to get Adam involved into anything like that"

Adam facepalmed. This is just not possible, he knew she would go there. 

"I believe you're a great guy. I just want to know with whom Adam's living and working" Leila said, chewing on her salad which was indeed delicious.

"I understand that. Besides Adam knows what decisions he makes. Of course I give him suggestions of photoshoots but he makes the decisions himself” Sauli said and glanced at Adam, “I have a very professional model here”

Adam gave a small smile, still feeling a little awkward. He doesn’t like people talking about him even if it’s his mom and Sauli.

Sauli has way better models with him than Adam is. 

“Is that your family?” Leila asked then, pointing at the big framed picture on the wall in the dining room.

Sauli glanced over and nodded.

“Yeah. Well, me and my sisters. And mom. Dad’s not there”

“You all look so alike” Leila smiled, then frowned, “Especially that one girl. Where is your father though?”

“He’s uhm…” Sauli seemed to think about what to say. He can’t just burst that he didn’t want him in the picture because he’s the most unpleasant, rude and ignorant asshole he has even known.

“Mom” Adam warned again, slightly shaking his head.

“Adam,,, it’s okay” Sauli smiled at him, “He isn’t close to us, at least not to me. I think that’s the reason”

“Oh no, I'm so sorry, I didn’t…”

“It’s fine. Lot of people ask that” Sauli rushed out.

Leila nodded understandingly. Sauli seems so calm and sunny no matter what the subject of their discussion is. Maybe such things are too heavy to talk about in first meetings though.

“So,,,” Leila started, "Do you guys take care of protection?"

“Mom!” Adam hissed, pink color spreading on his cheeks and probably all the way to his neck, “Don’t”

"I want to know if you're being safe" She insisted firmly, not at all embarrassed which made it all even more embarrassing. 

Adam groaned, hiding behind his palms.

"Honey, it's okay" Sauli smiled and tapped Adam's thigh, then turned back to Leila, "Yes, of course we're being safe"

Maybe it's good that Sauli is a little older than him. He can discuss these things like a responsible adult. 

The difference is that responsible adults shouldn't have to talk about their sex life to anyone's parents. 

"Good. That's all I want to know from that subject" Leila said, "Tell me about yourself. What do you do when you're not working?"

Maybe they’ll survive this.

 

♥♥♥

 

It’s a tradition that Sauli holds a small speech in the anniversary party. Every single time he’s just as nervous even though he’s used to talk to them and on top of that, he knows everybody.

They are all waiting for him to start the speech. Sauli scans through the room but doesn’t see Adam anywhere but he knows he should start already.

He got up from his chair and took a few deep breaths.

"May I have your attention, please?" Sauli started when he had walked up the microphone.

All the people put their attention on him and stopped the conversations they were having.

"Thank you. I haven't written the speech which I might regret now"

The room hummed in laughter. Sauli smiled. This might or might not end well.

"Three years ago today I did not believe I could ever make it this far. I have my own agency, greatest employees and we actually succeed somewhere else than in playgirls and boys, okay I'm done with this let's get to the point"

Sauli waited for the quiet laughter to wind down again.

"Today I won't talk about work and success because I'm the most awkward person to talk about that. I want to talk about feelings" He said, looking at the people and their confused expressions, "Just wait I have a point here too"

Snickers filled the room again. They know when Sauli says that he usually improvises everything.

Adam entered the room then, awkward because of the bad timing. Some shot a glare at him but Sauli approved him with a small smile.

He kept his eyes on Adam and his once again red eyes and continued talking, suddenly getting an idea.

He might jump to his own conclusions now but he can’t stand the anxiety any longer. He’s been doubting a lot of things that are going with Adam.

You don’t have to be the wisest to tell that.

Sauli cleared his throat when Adam had sat down,

"We've all been in the situations where we have to hide what we feel. We're afraid to admit the attraction, we hide our disappointment and we are afraid to cry. We hide it like it is the one thing that makes us lose our face. When it is actually the thing that makes us all stronger"

Sauli gave his employees simple eye contacts. Not to all of them or he would stand there a while, 

"Because we dare to be vulnerable. Humans have the most developed emotional intelligence. In this industry we don't show our true emotions often. We have to be strong, we have to hide our tears and smile. Why is that?" Sauli asked with a frown,   
"I've seen my models starve themselves because of the emotional thunderstorm, I've seen my friends linger on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I've heard my loved ones cry alone in the bathroom because they did not want to show their so called 'weakness' to me"

Sauli shot a meaningful glance at Adam just briefly. Adam shifted uncomfortably.

" 'What's wrong?' I ask, 'Nothing', they say. After days, months, or in worst cases, years, the tears simply escape. And still, most of us try to hide it. Alone and ashamed of something that's so natural for a human being"

Sauli was surprised to see how many of the people listening to him, were staring at their laps like they were the guilty ones.

Not only the one he was trying to aim.

"What it's with the tears? Is it better to grit your teeth and hold back or just openly burst into tears and say 'No, I'm not okay, I think I need your help and support'. No one will laugh, no one will mock, no one will judge. A sensible person will help. 'Care about me enough to stay', 'I've never been worse' and 'Please help me' are usually the unheard words. I know it because I hid those words as well"

On that moment Adam knew that Sauli knew. He would not dig under his flesh like this if he didn't.

"I have someone in my life I care about so dearly" Sauli stated, already feeling the lump in his throat, "It pains me to see him struggle with himself on a daily basis like he's afraid that he won't live up to my expectations. Which is funny because I think he's perfect in every possible way"

Scarlett took a break from staring at her lap and instead glanced at Adam.

Everybody who is close to Sauli, knew who he was talking about. It made Adam more than just a little awkward.

"If they'd say 'Fill the room with people who love me' they'd be afraid that no one would show up. No one would care. Maybe they say 'I'm cold' and hide the cuts underneath, 'I already ate' they say, starving themselves. I don't want any of you to feel that way. You guys are perfect the way you are"

Ending it with silence, Sauli stared at Adam. Everybody staid quiet. Like it was meant to. For a few seconds.

Then Sauli smiled.

"Was I deep enough because geez this is not my field of expertise by any means"

Laughter filled the room once again.

"Thank you. Now let's fucking party" Sauli finished, stepping down from the microphone only to notice Adam was no longer in his sight.

Before no one could come to him and start a conversation, Sauli ran out of the room to follow his boyfriend.

He didn’t get too far, fortunately. He was standing in the hallway, looking like somebody just physically beat the shit out of him.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked, looking at Sauli with confused eyes, “What have I done to deserve this?”

Sauli frowned, stepping closer,

“What? Baby,,, I don’t understand. Please, fill me in”

Adam shook his head frantically, sinking down on the floor. 

“I can’t… Please just, try to understand...”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to understand” Sauli insisted, “You’ve been so absent lately”

Adam shrugged, clutching onto his arms. 

“Why can’t you just talk to me?” Sauli asked, crouching on the floor before Adam's feet.

Adam huffed.

“Didn’t you just talk about that? You know what’s up with me. And I’m ashamed" Adam hissed, making Sauli frown even deeper and shake his head in confusion, "Look at my hands, smell my fucking breath and look at my face. Closely. Can you possibly” Adam swallowed, breathing harsh, “Make a wrong conclusion?”

Adam breathed out the extra steam in his system. 

“I’m not here to ruin your party. We can talk later”

Sauli wanted to insist more but Adam’s right. This is his and his agency’s party and they deserve the fun.

Sauli grabbed Adam’s hand and pulled him up with him. Sauli kissed Adam's knuckles and lead him back to the main hall where the party was.

Brian had already dimmed the room and put the disco lights on. He was playing great music.

Beside the modeling and fashion, Brian, Tommy and Ashley are good musicians. Sometimes they play some live music too.

Now Brian is being the DJ, though. When it’s time for slower songs, they’ll play live.

Adam tried to resist when Sauli intended to pull him in the middle of the crowd to dance.

But Sauli just smiled brightly, and Adam’s previous displeasure and anxiety disappeared.

He sighed and allowed Sauli to pull him with him.

“And no dry-humping my ass” Sauli warned playfully, “People are looking at us”

Adam smirked and turned Sauli around,

“I don’t really care”

Sauli snickered and pushed his bottom against Adam’s crotch.

“Exhibitionist” Adam murmured in Sauli’s ear. Sauli knew he was joking. That’s not his style and Adam knows it.

“You love it” Sauli replied, grinding his ass against Adam who grunted in response.

“Love you ” He said and wrapped his arms around Sauli’s smaller body.

Moments like this are the ones when he wonders how he got so lucky.

 

♥♥♥

 

The next day they were doing the photoshoot with Lee in Sauli’s home. It had been a struggle for Adam to strip off his shirt in front of someone who’s not Sauli but Lee promised that whatever he sees will always be just in his mind and the photos will go to Sauli.

They had their pants on but shirts had gone.

"Sauli, you lay on the bed on your back" Lee instructed, chin between his forefinger and thumb.

Sauli lay down like Lee told him.

"Now Adam, just lay on top of him and kind of dominate him without being over the top"

Adam nodded, placing himself on top of Sauli.

Sauli helped him by bending his head. Adam automatically nipped on Sauli’s neck, forgetting the flashes of Lee’s camera.

He just focused on what he was doing.

He dragged his nose slowly from Sauli’s collarbones to his chin, giving Lee a lot of great photos.

“Beautiful. Now Sauli, do what feels right”

Adam wonders how Lee can be this comfortable with doing this. 

“Stop assuming I just always know everything” Sauli said and gripped on Adam’s hair.

Lee’s camera flashed again.

“Well, I know you do”

Sauli nodded, trying not to beam. Oh, he’s never cocky about it.

“I do. So can I suggest?”

“Always”

“Me and Adam could just do things we want and you keep snapping the pictures”

Adam’s head perked up.

“Seriously, you freaking exhibitionist” 

Sauli laughed.

“I didn’t say we’d show any cock”

Adam let his head drop against Sauli’s chest, feeling himself blush.

Lee nodded approvingly.

“I’m fine with it. Just don’t go too far”

Sauli pulled Adam’s head down and opened his mouth for Adam’s tongue to enter. When Adam gets his tongue inside, he doesn’t need to be asked twice if he wants to do this.

Sauli ran his fingers through Adam’s soft hair and hummed in the kiss.

Soon he pulled away.

“I want one with just the tips of our tongues touching”

Adam pushed his tongue back out and teased Sauli’s tongue with it, ignoring the camera once again and just tried not to smile too much.

Sauli captured Adam’s tongue between his lips and smooched loudly. He pulled away again and pressed his lips against Adam’s ear, whispering;

“How about we do some tasteful sexy things now and then we could play with the camera all alone once Lee leaves”

Adam moaned accidentally at the words and the lick Sauli gave to his ear. And if that didn't make Lee uncomfortable, nothing will.

Adam just nodded frantically. 

“Then hold your hand near my crotch, on my thigh”

Adam moved his own body a little so was only straddling Sauli’s other thigh and dropped his hand down to put it right beneath Sauli’s balls.

All the flashes were already forgotten.

“I’m going to open your pants now" Sauli whispered, "That okay with you?"

Adam nodded again.

He breathed hotly against Sauli’s face when Sauli’s hands worked his belt and zipper open.

"I'm gonna touch you very briefly, okay?" 

"Okay" Adam whispered.

Lee captured every single motion of Sauli’s hand when it slid inside the open fly. The shortest touch made Adam bite his lip.

“Kiss me and do the same to me” Sauli instructed.

Adam pressed their lips together and ran his hand up Sauli’s thigh and unbuckled his belt then unzipped his zipper. 

It took everything from Sauli to stay still when Adam’s hand pushed inside his open fly. But to be fair, Adam didn’t keep it there any longer than Sauli did in his.

“My camera is probably gonna blow soon” Lee joked and lightened the atmosphere to make himself feel a little more comfortable.

Sauli snickered and pulled away from the kiss.

“I have a one very,,, wild suggestion” Adam suddenly said, making Lee and Sauli both stare at him mouth wide open.

“Share, please” Sauli smiled. 

“I’m very insecure, especially about my upper body. Could we do a few shots where Sauli is about to go down on me?”

“Yes” Sauli answered before Lee could say a word.

Not that he would say no but still.

Sauli kissed Adam on the lips, went down on his neck and to his chest. He kissed both of his nipples briefly, then slid lower to kiss his stomach.

First he dragged his tongue down his happy trail, kissed the skin right above the waistband of his pants, then moved to his scars.

Adam’s breath hitched. Sauli wasn’t afraid to show the affection even in front of the camera. 

Adam’s chest moved fast like it always does when Sauli’s about to go down on him. But now it was because of other reasons.

Sauli kissed his skin many times, briefly or long. Adam dropped his hands down and held on to Sauli’s hair.

Lee felt like he was watching something that’s way more intimate than any sexual act could ever be. 

Sauli pressed the last kiss next to Adam’s belly button and glanced up to see Adam’s head bent back.

“I think we’ve gotten what we wanted” He said to Lee.

Lee nodded, putting his camera into his bag and picked up his other things.

The lights belonged to Sauli.

“I'll go then. See you tomorrow”

“Bye”

Lee left without further words because he just knew that these guys wanted to get to it.

Sauli returned his attention to Adam and smiled at him.

“That was brave”

“I know"

“I’m proud of you” Sauli whispered, crawling up.

Adam hugged him tightly and inhaled his soothing scent for a few seconds.

He let Sauli go and reached out to grab Sauli’s own camera from the floor.

Sauli smirked and took the camera into his own hands. 

“Mmm. Now, show me who’s the freaking exhibitionist here” Sauli murmured and put the video mode on.

Adam sat against the headboard and gasped at Sauli.

“Video? Really? You’re weird”

“What? You never know if I have to travel somewhere to host a show or something so I need some moving picture of you” Sauli said and zoomed closer to Adam's face.

“You can always skype me” Adam said, bringing his tongue out to lick his upper lip.

“That’s a wonderful idea but I also like the idea of us watching us together some time” Sauli beamed but put the camera down.

He could never risk their relationship. Not that neither of them would leak the video but someone could get the video in their dirty hands. It has happened too many times with famous people.

“One more dirty idea and you have to watch me have fun all alone” Adam murmured, “But I really wanna fuck you”

Sauli let Adam jump on him.

“I'm fine with that”

 

♥♥♥

 

Sauli has never seen Adam like this. There he was, leaning against the toilet seat, sobbing uncontrollably like his life had just crushed.

Sauli stood at the threshold, covering his own mouth in shock.

'I'm fine. I promise' Adam had said many times. Sauli fucking believed him at first.

He _believed_ him.

Sauli's shuddering sigh made Adam raise his head.

They don't know who jerked more when their eyes met, Adam or Sauli but they knew neither of them didn't want to be seen by the other.

Adam's eyes were puffy from tears when he looked at Sauli's face. Afraid of Sauli's reaction and silence, he stormed up the floor and ran out from the bathroom.

Sauli's mouth just didn't work. He couldn't yell after him no matter how bad he wanted.

"Oh god..." He murmured himself.

After recovering from the shock, more like making himself to do it, he followed Adam.

He should have known. All the signs pointed to it but he just never wanted to believe it.

Sauli saw Adam sit at the pool outside with Fluffie.

Sauli took a deep breath, opened the patio door and walked outside.

Fluffie wiggled his tail when he noticed Sauli but he gestured him inside instead.

The dog ran in and Sauli closed the patio door. Loud enough to let Adam know he came out.

"The person who was fine" Sauli quietly said, knowing it was not a good thing to say but he was mad at Adam right now.

Well, not really mad because of what he has. More like,,, Worried shitless and mad for not telling him. 

Adam didn't say anything, just sniffed.

Sauli came to him, sat down and just stared at Adam. Adam's side profile which looks just as good as the front, lucky brat. His soft hair which fell on his forehead and his slumped shoulders. To be honest, he looks more defeated than ever.

Embarrassed, ashamed and mad at himself. When Adam turned his head the slightest bit to peek into Sauli's eyes, something punched a hole in Sauli's chest.

Eyes are the mirror of the soul and those eyes definitely mirrored the broken soul underneath.

" _Voi rakas_..." Sauli whispered, pulling Adam to his embrace. To his surprise, Adam didn't protest at all.

"Fine,,, I'm not quite okay…"

"Established as much" Sauli whispered, burying his nose in Adam's silky hair, “I’m with you here now”

Without meeting Sauli's eyes, Adam reached out his right hand for Sauli to hold.

"Look" He said.

Sauli looked but didn't really see anything exceptional from the previous view. 

"I can't help it. I just can't-"

Sauli squeezed the hand protectively and kissed the red knuckles, then pressed his cheek against Adam's shoulder.

"I'm not here to judge. I'm here to listen. Is it because of this job?"

"No" Adam said right away, "No" he repeated, more quiet now, "I've always struggled"

Sauli nodded. How he hasn't noticed anything earlier?

Adam smiled a little then.

"I'm pretty good at hiding it, I admit. So don't blame yourself"

Sauli brought Adam's hand on his lips and kissed it again. 

"For how long?"

"Years. First I refused eating but I got over it with Danielle and mom. I found the joy of eating again but suddenly I felt so ashamed for gaining back my weight. There is a lot of emotional eating going on nowadays. And every time I have to-" Adam said, almost like choking on his words and gestured towards his mouth, "You know. Do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this?"

Sauli stroked his back and kissed his shoulder through the thin cotton of Adam's shirt.

"Probably"

"Feel free to feel disgusted" Adam whispered, pulling his hand out of Sauli's hold.

Sauli frowned,

"I don't. I'm so glad you told me. I'm a little shocked, yeah, to be honest but not disgusted by any means"

Adam plaid with his fingers nervously and nodded.

"You've always been so nice to me"

"Honey," Sauli said quietly, pulling Adam back in his arms, "Of course. I'm so relieved to know all this"

Adam turned into a better position and hugged Sauli's smaller body even tighter. 

"I love you" he murmured against Sauli's ear.

"Love you too" Sauli replied, stroking Adam's lower back.

He has known Adam has more secrets than he has told him. Getting to know Adam has and still is like opening a package one layer after another.

His core is safe and highly protected underneath.

"Don't feel disgusted..." Adam mumbled, pulling away shortly, "I don't know what I'd do if you- "

"Shh. Everything is okay. You'll be fine" Sauli soothed, stroking Adam's cheek, "I'm right here and I won't go anywhere"

Sauli pulled him into a hug one more time squeezing him tight but still gently enough not to choke him. 

"I can flood everything on paper. Love, anger, disappointment, pain and hate. But it won't take away the shame. Or even the pain. It just makes it more bearable" Adam explained quietly, "I just... I didn't mean this to happen... I didn't want it to happen. But I can't help it. My throat is sore, I feel bad all the time in every way possible and I fear that I might ruin my voice and destroy my insides. I'm obliterating myself and my biggest fear was that you find out and-"

"Hey, hush you" Sauli interrupted him, "Don't even continue that sentence. Look at me when I talk to you"

Adam raised his eyes, feeling like Sauli could read his soul through them.

"Come with me" Sauli said and pulled Adam up from the ground, "I wanna show you something”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic won't go too dark. Not my style. So no worries.;)


	20. All the damage they caused isn't fixable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings again. Very open talking about what happened in last chapter.

Adam followed Sauli back inside and straight upstairs. Suddenly Sauli pulled an attic door open from the ceiling and the ladders fell down smoothly. 

He never even paid attention to the ceiling so much he would’ve known.

He followed Sauli up and was surprised how roomy and clean the attic was. Like a room among others. 

"This is a place where I keep my most valuable things. Most personal too" Sauli said and lead Adam to the pile of black and white decoration boxes.

Adam was watching around in awe.

Sauli chuckled.

"Never seen an attic before?"

"I have. Yours is just so modern and roomy. You rich bitch" He joked and gave Sauli a dirty wink.

Sauli laughed and sat on the couch with one of the boxes.

Adam sat next to him. The movement caused his stomach to flip and he hid an unpleasant exhale behind his palm.

Sauli plaid like he didn't notice.

He knows he interrupted Adam when he opened the bathroom door. But he couldn’t help it since he had forgotten to lock the door and the crying he heard really burned his heart. 

"I should-"

"No" Sauli said, gripping on Adam's wrist tightly, "You do not. You sit right here and wait until the urge passes"

Adam shifted uncomfortably. He’ll grow very anxious if he can’t go. Sauli didn’t loosen his hold.

Adam was tapping his foot on the floor nervously and took deep breaths.

“I let go now. But you don’t move your ass an inch” Sauli firmly said and let his death grip loosen because he wants Adam to be able to control himself. 

Adam willed himself to stay still and relax.

Sauli opened the box he was holding and pulled out a small book, a diary of some sort.

“I think it’s more of a girl thing to write a journal but I did when I was younger” Sauli said and opened it, “It’s something that I found soothing. I was an over-thinker already then so it was good to write down what I felt. To relieve all the stress I went through and to bleed all the negativity out. I know you write songs, they probably have the same effect” He then smiled at Adam.

“They do. But not all of them are negative” Adam pointed out.

“I know. The one I heard you hum in the shower was though” Sauli said and watched as Adam flushed and turned his head.

“Hey, no need for that” Sauli smiled gently and placed his palm on Adam’s cheek and made him turn his head, “I thought it was very beautiful and very heartbreaking. You only had a few lines of lyrics there though. Rest of it was just a melody. You haven’t fully written it?”

Adam shook his head as no.

“I hear it in my head but I just can’t seem to find the right words to express how I feel”

“What do you feel?”

“Pain. Self-criticism. Frustration of not being good enough” 

Sauli nodded understandingly. It always surprises people when they find out he knows those feelings too. 

“I didn’t have to be poetic when I wrote. I didn’t have to find a working melody or something and I got over it fast. But when you get stuck into a verse or chorus, you also get stuck with the feelings in your head because you cannot bleed them out. Write songs, sing songs but don’t get stuck. The more you think about them the harder it’ll be to get over with”

Sauli made sense. But he didn’t seem to have the slightest idea of what it is like to write deep lyrics.

“The ideas pop into my head and I write them down. I don’t think about them that much. But the popping just don’t happen every time I'd need it to happen” Adam said.

He can be stuck in one song for months. Then the missing words just suddenly fall together without him thinking about it that much.

“So because they don’t just suddenly pop in your head you spend time thinking about it all?”

“You make this all so complicated” Adam said, shaking his head and really wanted to get up and leave, even more than some minute ago.

Sauli put his diary away and lift his feet on the couch and sat his face towards Adam.

“I don’t. When you spend all your energy to think what are those feelings inside of you and how could you put them into lyrics you do nothing but think about the negativity. You drown yourself into it. Maybe you could,,, just write down everything to let it all out and then try to change them into lyrics?”

Adam rolled his eyes. He really doesn’t like to be adviced in the thing he knows he’s good at. Especially not by someone who isn’t that much into music that way.

“I’m only worried about you” Sauli added. 

“I know. I am too” Adam admitted. Although he doesn’t say he’s more worried about his looks than his actual self.

Sauli pulled something else out from the box and flinched when he saw what he saw.

“We have a lot in common, Adam. We’ve proved it many times. What I really wanted to show you was this”

Sauli handed Adam an old photo.

“Oh Jesus” Adam gasped, dropping the photo on his lap right away, “That’s you?” he asked, trying to shake the vision out of his head. 

Sauli nodded.

“Not so pretty there am I?”

Adam picked up the photo again, something in his chest tightening at the sight. It hurt to see the photo.

“I know we’re kind of different in this but still the same”

“Y-you were… anorexic?”

“Nearly there, there. Deathly skinny, at least. I did get help though. And it was over in just a few months because it hadn’t had gotten too far”

Adam let out a nervous chuckle and gave the picture back to Sauli. 

“And your point of scaring me to death with that photo was…?”

Sauli put the photo back into the box and let it down on the floor. He straddled Adam’s lap and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“To show you that I get what you're going through. Maybe not 100 per cent but still. Baby, I love you more than anything and what I saw a few moments ago doesn’t change that. We get through this together, ‘kay?”

Adam held onto Sauli’s hips and nodded. Sauli tried to kiss him on the lips but Adam’s pushed him back gently by his chin.

“Not a good idea… The taste might not be the most pleasant”

Sauli kissed his upper lip and the side of his mouth instead.

“Can I ask you one thing?”

“I guess” Adam said, knowing he can no longer hide anything from Sauli. At least not in this situation.

“Where do you keep all the-"

“Why do you think I haven’t emptied my bag even though you made room for my clothes and stuff?” Adam asked, watching Sauli go like ‘ohh’, “So yes. There”

“Do you think you could empty the bag?” Sauli carefully suggested, knowing he would hit to a sore spot.

“Oh God, no” Adam immediately said, closing his eyes in embarrassment.

“Not under my eyes. Alone” Sauli said, cupping Adam’s face between his palms, “I trust in you”

Adam opened his eyes as soon as Sauli’s hands touched his face. He saw his loving eyes look into his and he felt more ease right away.

“Maybe. Someday”

Sauli smiled and kissed Adam’s forehead.

“That’s good enough for me”

Adam smiled as well. He still cannot hide the shame but he felt a little better now. 

“I have other things in the bag as well"

“Like?” Sauli asked, keeping his chin pressed against the top of Adam’s head.

“A vibrator” Adam grinned, lightening the atmosphere just. a little bit, “Feels fucking great when you press it against the base of your cock”

Sauli laughed, trying not to get lost in the image of Adam playing around with a vibrator. 

“How come I didn’t know you liked toys like that?”

“Because I tried it first time just a few days ago when you were still at work” Adam teased Sauli with the mental image and sighed blissfully, “Felt so good...”

“Unfair to put such images in my head now” Sauli whined and gently pinched Adam’s bicep.

Adam chuckled and turned his head, looking at Sauli properly in the eyes. He fell against him and Sauli willingly took him into his embrace.

“I’m kind of relieved you know now… I was just afraid you’d not understand” Adam’s voice sounded muffled since he spoke against Sauli’s chest.

“I do” Sauli said, stroking Adam’s back, “I do” he repeated, more quietly.

He held Adam for a while, relaxing him a bit. Of course he still feels shocked and bad for not noticing earlier but that’s not the point. 

It’s Adam. And his health.

There is no way Sauli could ever leave him alone with such thing, never again.

“But you do like music, right?” Sauli asked after a while.

“Yeah… “

“I have a surprise for you. I got these two years ago from some competition I took part. I tried to win the fifth price meaning the high quality camera but I got the first price” Sauli chuckled and got down from Adam's lap, “Come and see”

Adam followed Sauli to the other side of the room where Sauli removed a blanket from top of some stuff.

Adam saw headphones, microphone and a small mixing table and all the other things you need for home recording.

He was speechless. Sauli saw how he tried to say something but he couldn’t.

“I mean everything is small, obviously. Not quite like in real recording studios but no can do. You can start with these if you want to” Sauli said and brushed his hand over the mixing table. Hm, dusty. 

Adam’s knees gave in and he sank on the floor. Sauli got scared but when he saw that Adam was in this world, he relaxed.

“No one has ever- I can’t believe this. Thank you I- Really? For me?” Adam stuttered, his eyes still wide and mouth slack. He held a hand over his heart.

Sauli smiled widely and sat in front of Adam on the floor.

“You’re welcome”

After recovering from the shock, Adam pulled Sauli furiously against his chest.

“You’re not real” He murmured and squeezed the air out of Sauli’s lungs. Sauli gasped for air but couldn’t stop smiling.

“Pretty sure I am”

 

♥♥♥

 

Adam saw the small note on top of the toilet seat the next morning. He frowned and picked it up.

_You're worth more than this :) I love you, xo Sauli_

Adam smiled and put it back. Sauli is the sweetest.

He peed, washed his hands and face and got out. After putting on some briefs and a T-shirt, he made his way downstairs and to the kitchen.

Sauli was sitting at the table, drinking coffee and reading news from his ipad. 

"Hey"

"Hi" Sauli beamed.

"How are you not at work?" Adam asked, glancing the clock to see it was already 10 a.m.

Sauli put his mug down on the table and shrugged.

"Took a day off"

Adam sat down across Sauli and frowned.

"Why?"

"Because I am entitled to have some when I need one. End of discussion. Have some breakfast" Sauli said, gesturing the sandwiches he has made for them both. 

Okay. Sauli has a bad day. Adam can figure it out already. He has them rarely but when he does he bitches and he bitched a lot. It must be all the stress from work and now from Adam too.

"I don't really-"

"Why? Because bread isn't easy to purge?" Sauli asked, stabbing Adam right in the chest. Sauli regretted it right away after he saw the hurt on Adam's face.

He doesn't even know why he said it, it just slipped out.

Adam huffed in disbelief. How can Sauli even say that to him? No matter how bad his day is, he never believed Sauli would snap things like that. 

"I'm so sorry, I-"

Adam clenched his jaw and he suddenly looked more of mad than hurt.

"You know what? I did not choose this way. Do you have any idea how much self-hatred it takes to make myself throw up? I binge to my depression and then I purge. Does it sound funny? No. And it's not. It's embarrassing. You underestimate it just like everybody else" Adam poured out and the whole table shook when he got up and hit his thighs against it, "And you wonder why I don't tell anything to people. Well, how about you glance in the mirror and think about it again"

With those words he left.

Sauli sighed, running his palms over his face. He glanced at Fluffie who lay on the floor with an expression of sadness.

"You're right. I'm just an idiot"

He gulped down all his coffee, not caring a bit that it burnt his throat.

He had no idea where Adam went. Curse the day he brought this enormous house.

He made his way upstairs but Adam wasn't in their bedoom. Neither in the bathroom or the guest room. 

Damn. The attic door was also shut so he probably isn't there either.

He heard a loud splash come from outside but since he had glanced out, Adam can't be outside.

No. He's on the balcony, it seems.

He sat against the railing, his legs hanging over the edge between the gaps.

"What on Earth did you throw in there?" Sauli asked when he stepped on the balcony. 

"Your phone" 

"What?" Sauli squeaked, stepping to the railing to see the pool and what Adam had thrown there. 

"I'm kidding. It was just my notebook" Adam said. 

Sauli frowned and sat next to Adam, noticing how Adam dragged himself further away from him.

"Why would you throw it in the pool?"

Adam shrugged.

"To destroy all the material that ever proved that I'm a pathetic bulimic"

Sauli cringed.

"Please, don't say that"

"You said it first"

"No" Sauli insisted, "I did not say that. I admit, I said badly but I never meant to insult you. Look at me, hey"

Adam turned his head, locking his eyes with Sauli's.

"You are beautiful and strong. And I am always here for you if you need me. Forgive me my words, my intention was not to hurt you" Sauli gently said, "I do not underestimate anything. I’m just very stressed too"

Adam nodded.

"People don't talk about my kinds. I'm not a girl... So they say 'you can't have it'. Or then they say 'Try to stop the vomiting and the weight gain'. Do you know what that feels like? The situations always end up with me walking out with a lump in my throat and the voice in my head telling I'm not worth a thing"

Sauli's heart broke a little. He wrapped his arm around Adam's waist and kissed his shoulder,

"Oh bunny, that's not true"

"It feels like I'm the freak one here. And I don't deserve better" Adam said.

Sauli stroked Adam's lower back, 

"You do, baby. Of course you do. I'm sorry you had to feel that way" He soothed and Adam was doing everything to not burst into tears.

"Of course after those feelings I'd once again binge eat until someone interrupted or my stomach hurt so much because of stretching beyond its capacity. Then I'd feel bad because of it and I'd vomit and then I'd feel even worse"

But then the tears escaped. He was not able to help it.

Sauli traced his fingers over Adam's shoulder and leaned against his body.

"I can't believe I never noticed"

Adam reached up to place his hand over Sauli's.

"Trust me it's not easy to notice. I tried to hide it the best I could. I don't know what really gave me in"

"Probably the last few days in general" Sauli said and squeezed his shoulder, "When we were on the vacation, Scarlett just threw a guess in the air. Then I started to pay more attention" Sauli said, pressing a kiss on the back of Adam's neck, "I love you"

Adam smiled and let Sauli kiss the side of his neck too, then his cheek and his temple.

"I love you too"

Adam turned his head to make their lips meet. Sauli kissed him sweetly and softly, just a small affectionate gesture. 

“What if we started this day over?” Sauli asked after he pulled away, wiping Adam’s tear-soaked cheeks. 

Adam nodded.

“We can start from the bed” He said and stood up, pulling Sauli on his feet as well.

Sauli chuckled and followed Adam inside and to their bedroom, never letting go of his hand. Adam nudged him on his back on their bed and hopped on the bed, straddling his small body.

“I will pound your ass so hard" Adam murmured and attacked Sauli’s lips.

Sauli was fine with that.

♥♥♥

Next day they both returned to work. Sauli sort of wanted to give Adam a few days off but he also wanted to keep an eye on him.

Adam was cleaning the lenses and objectives of Sauli's camera when he heard a frustrated sigh from behind the desk.

"Could you do this one photoshoot with me? I don't know why my model cancelled now when the shoot is supposed to be today. And I really, really need these photos" Sauli pleaded and gave the best puppy eyes to Adam.

Adam glanced at him briefly, then returned his focus on the camera lenses he was wiping in the corner of Sauli's office.

"What kind?"

"You're not going to like this" Sauli said, making a face at him.

Adam's head perked up.

"You're right, I don't. I think I cancel already"

Sauli chuckled.

"I'm kidding. It's actually just a regular fashion photo which would go on the wall in the studio" He said and admired the drawing Ashley had made of her vision.

"Maybe. Tell me more" Adam said. 

Sauli lift his legs on his desk and closed his eyes to create a better vision in his head, based on Ashley's drawing.

"You'd wear the costume Ashley has gotten. It's a very sexy police officer outfit"

Adam might have just choked on his spit. Sounds like corny porn.

"We have the set ready. You'd seduce me the way you did when we did that first photoshoot" Sauli said, his voice a little lower than normally.

Adam was watching him intensively, 

"The one that got you wanting to get into my pants?"

Sauli laughed, shaking his head,

"Honey, you already had me at hello"

Adam's heart fluttered a bit. How is it possible that Sauli is so sweet? Always. Although that was dirty-sweet and it made Adam blush the slightest bit.

"Okay. I can do it. But on two conditions"

"Anything" Sauli beamed.

Adam got up, careful not to stomp any of the lenses or stuff when he walked to Sauli's desk.

"One, you let me fuck you the whole night. Two, you let me fuck you the whole day"

Sauli smirked and let his legs fall from the desk.

"Have you ever needed a permission to do so?"

Adam stood on the space between Sauli's legs and nodded, thinking.

"Point taken. So I can come up with two different conditions then" Adam beamed, humming a little when Sauli let his chair lower and came face to face with his crotch.

"Have I told you how much I love it when you wear tight leather pants?"

"Not during the last few hours" Adam winked.

"Well, I _love_ it when you wear tight leather pants" Sauli hissed and nuzzled the pretty bulge before him. Adam gasped in surprise and automatically glanced at the door.

"Sauli...! No,,, not here" He protested when he felt Sauli work on his belt, "Someone can come in!"

Sauli chuckled and stopped. He'd never do such thing in his office in the middle of the day. He has such a good reputation so no point in ruining it. He just loves to tease Adam.

He buckled Adam's belt and smiled mischievously, still stroking the bulge with the palm of his hand.

"Great, now you made it all happy" Adam said, pushing against Sauli’s touch.

"Whoops, sorry" Sauli smirked and grabbed Adam's hands into his, ignoring the rash on his knuckles, "Are you done with the lenses? Shall we go and have a break and then get on with that photoshoot?"

"I still have a few I haven't touched yet" Adam told him.

Sauli pursed his lips and seemed to think the best way to act.

"Let's have a break now, then we do that photoshoot and then you can finish with the lenses while I go to a meeting. Is that fine?"

Adam nodded.

"Good" Sauli smiled and jumped up from his chair and rose straight on his toes to peck Adam on the lips.

He loves how Adam's legs look when he wears boots with wedges but damn it's hard to kiss him sometimes.

"Let's go" Sauli said and pulled Adam out of the office.

When they were out, they heard Tommy's voice behind them.

"Hey, you guys go for lunch?"

"Yep" Sauli replied.

"Can I join you?"

"Sure" They both replied.

They waited until Tommy reached them.

"Shit, it's hot. The sun is literally burning through the windows" He said when they continued their way to the elevators.

Sauli hummed in agreement.

"True. Imagine my big window"

Tommy huffed.

"At least you have a good air conditioner! But damn the office we work in is like a sauna"

Sauli laughed and pressed the elevator button.

"You could go and put the photoshoot studio ready with Ash. It wouldn't be so hot in the lower floors" Sauli suggested once inside the elevator.

"You got the model after all?" Tommy asked, pushing his hand between the elevator doors when he saw that Ashley was running towards them.

"Me too! I don't wanna eat alone!" She squealed and stepped in.

Adam felt his face heat up a little. He doesn't like the idea of eating under too many eyes right now. Not when Sauli has discovered his secret. And since the other ones had some clue too.

Sauli wrapped his arm around Adam's back to show him he was there to support him and help him. 

"But like you asked, yes. Adam will do the photoshoot" Sauli said.

"The one I draw and planned?" Ashley asked excited and couldn't help squealing a little when Sauli nodded.

"I talked him into this. I said to Tommy you could put everything ready there"

"Yes! I want to direct how they put the set. Can I?"

Sauli laughed at her enthusiasm and nodded.

"Of course you can"

They got out from the elevator and made their way to the cafeteria.

"Are you okay?" Sauli asked Adam when they got in the line at the buffer. 

Adam nodded, sighing.

"I guess. I just- I'm afraid. Sometimes when I start I can't stop. I'm afraid I can't be 'normally', you saw what happened in the trip"

"I keep the attention off you. Try to remember that I am here for you" Sauli said in a gentle tone and reached for the tray.

Adam nodded. It's not that simple, though. His mind feels like a mess everytime. He watched Tommy settle on the table that was free and was in the center of the room.

Everybody can stare.

"Sauli, I can't do this now. I don't feel good" Adam whispered when he reached for the tray.

Sauli sighed and wanted to understand. He kind of did in a way but still didn't.

"Adam, please. For me. You won't over-do it. I promise" Sauli said and got himself some salad and pasta.

Adam took the same food as Sauli and inhaled sharply, following Sauli to the table where Tommy and Ashley already sat.

The conversation started as soon as they had sat down and Adam noticed that no one didn't really pay attention to him.

But shit he still feels awful. Mentally.

After the first bite he took, he felt a little better. Too good.

 

♥♥♥

 

Sauli noticed Adam was chewing gum when he was applying the makeup on him.  
But he didn't want to bring the subject up, not again.

Sauli's hand was incredibly steady when he drew the thin line on Adam's eyelid with the black eyeliner.

"I want your look to be intense but not over the top" He said and draw the same looking line on the other eyelid.

After he was finished with the eyes, Sauli put some contrast on his cheekbones and jawline with the bronzing powder.

"Perfect. Now put on the outfit. I will put the hat on because I want it to look perfect"

"Okay" Adam got up from the chair and let his bathrobe just drop on the floor and spit the gum in the trash can.

Sauli dropped his makeup brush on the floor as soon as Adam had revealed his naked body.

"The door is unlocked" He teased and picked up the fallen brush.

"No, it's not because I locked it myself" Adam beamed and picked up the dark blue pants from the chair. 

Okay. So no underwear. Fine by Sauli. Perfectly fine. 

The handcuffs were hanging on the waist among other things.

"I might cream my pants before we're done" Sauli breathed, trying to keep his mind off his kinky fantasies. Jesus, he has a cop costume in his wardrobe too. He wore it once in a Halloween party.

He hoped back then that he'd have his 'criminal' he could arrest and cuff to bed.

But now,,, seeing Adam wear such a powerful costume. Damn.

Adam pulled on the jacket too, leaving the first few buttons unbuttoned. He grabbed the handcuffs from the belt and spun them around in his finger.

"I'm afraid I need to take you home and punish you"

"For what?" Sauli asked, smiling and walked to his sexy boyfriend, starting to contrast and highlight his chest a bit.

"For almost giving me a boner earlier today" Adam hissed, clicking the handcuffs back on his waistband.

"You have a boner now too" Sauli notified and smirked.

Adam hummed and ran his hand over Sauli's crotch.

"Not too soft yourself, lovely"

Sauli tried not to get distracted by the touch. He finished his process soon and stepped back after he finished with the makeup.

"You're awful" Sauli declared and put his makeup stuff away.

Adam smiled smugly and got in front of the set.

"You love me" He said and leaned against the metal bars the employees have made for this photoshoot to look like a cell.

"I do" Sauli said and grabbed his camera, getting on his place.

"How should I pose?" Adam asked. There's a difference between a fashion and a porno photo. He doesn't want it to look the latter. Maybe he would if it was only for Sauli.

“Neatly. For a few shots. Then feel free to make me sexually bothered” Sauli smirked.

Adam leaned against the ‘cell’ door and just looked like a confident badass cop and eyefucked the camera.

“How can you be so good?” Sauli asked while his camera kept flashing every time Adam changed his position even the slightest bit.

“Natural talent” Adam said, taking the handcuffs in his hand again.

Sauli hummed in agreement.

“Beautiful. I think I got it. This is perfect” Sauli said, checking the photo he just took from his camera.

That was when Adam tore open the jacket to reveal his abdomen all the way down.

“Jesus” Sauli muttered, almost dropping his precious camera from his hands.

“Just Adam” Adam smirked, leaning his back against the cell bars.

Sauli snapped a few photos of that, his dick twitching in anticipation. He can play this game too.

“Is that what’d you do to seduce me?” He asked cockily.

Adam didn’t say anything, his hand just started to travel down South.

Slowly. Seductively.

Adam held his hand over his crotch, not squeezing or fondling, just holding.

It was enough to make Sauli’s face heat up.

Then he squeezed and a soft gasp escaped his lips.

“I might do this…” Adam said, rubbing his bulging crotch and bent his head back, groaning in a porny way.

“What else?” Sauli asked, licking his lips.

“This…” Adam whispered, unzipping the pants.

Sauli got some gorgeous shots. There's something so sexy in a guy in a pair of unzipped pants. Especially if you can see his happy trail lead to his pubic hair.

“And thisss…” Adam hissed, pushing his hand inside the open fly to fondle his bare cock, “You want it so bad, don’t you?” he teased, moving his hand.

“Yes, Adam, I want it” Sauli groaned, putting his camera on the floor and stormed to his gorgeous man, “So, so bad”

Their lips were locked in seconds and Sauli’s hand searched its way into Adam’s pants where he found his damp and hot flesh straining.

Adam closed his eyes and gave himself to the pleasure.

But the dizziness wasn’t just from the touch. It felt way stronger now.

“Sauli, I…”

“I know. I want it too…”

“No- I feel so dizzy” Adam said, almost falling but Sauli caught him, “Oh god, it hurts…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I didn't mean to stop here!


	21. Forever and always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam realizes things and Sauli wants to save them both.

Sauli thought he might go crazy, listening to the steady beep-beep sound of the machines in the hospital.

Seeing Adam wearing the nasal cannula, just lying there all pale in the hospital bed made him feel queasy.

He kept touching Adam's hair and face, holding his limp hand in his free hand and stroking his arm. 

He heard the door open and he glanced over to see Leila enter the room.

"Oh" She gasped at the sight of her son, grabbing a chair and sat on the other side of Adam's bed, "Has he been unconscious all the time?"

Sauli shook his head.

"No. He was awake when they took some tests. But his blood pressure or something is just so low now so he sleeps" Sauli said in a quiet tone, "He did collapse earlier though. I don't know why"

Leila nodded.

"How did this happen?" She asked, petting Adam's hair.

Sauli stroked his thumb over the rash on Adam's knuckles and shrugged.

"We worked a long day. He was probably just tired and didn't eat well"

But right then the nurse stepped into the room.

Leila introduced herself as Adam's mother and Sauli just greeted her. If she can't figure out who Sauli is by the way he's holding Adam's hand near his lips then too bad.

"I have some good news and some bad news” The nurse said and looked at Leila and Sauli, “The good news is that there was no major damage in Adam's organs that could have caused the fainting. The chest pain he felt was in the muscles and stomach, not in the heart or kidneys"

"Oh, thank god" Sauli whispered, kissing Adam's hand. He already feared the worst.

Leila sagged in relief as well.

"But what is the bad news?" She asked concerned.

"Adam suffers from a type of malnutrition. Not from a very serious one but his body lacks some very important nutrients and vitamins so we need to make sure he’ll recover. And we discovered a peptic ulcer"

Leila frowned and glanced at the hand Sauli was trying to protect from her gaze.

"What possibly causes it?" She asked. 

"The malnutrition? Poor diet. Adam's body is in deficiency of nutrients. We don't know yet why. We'll talk to him when he wakes up. The peptic ulcer might have many reasons as well. We need to talk to him and take more tests too as soon as he wakes up" The nurse informed and checked the machines Adam was attatched to. 

Leila nodded understandingly.

“Is the peptic ulcer serious?” She asked.

“Not in this case since it has not burst. The right medication and the avoidance of some food ingredients will help it to heal” The nurse said, still wearing a gentle smile on her face. Nurses should be exactly like her; Kind and capable to empathize. 

Leila nodded again, glancing at Sauli.

Sauli avoided her piercing stare. He's heard blaming from mothers and friends of his models before. Especially if the models have had an eating disorder.

The nurse left the room after she had checked Adam's condition.

"Look at me in the eyes and tell me Adam has not fallen into anorexia"

Sauli did look at her.

"I doubt it"

"If this is the fault of the unhealthy body picture that is in the Fashion industry-" She started but didn’t know how to continue so she just ended up her mouth gaping open and shaking her head, “I don’t know what I can do or say”

“Look... Honestly, I don’t know what caused this. As the nurse said this could have many possible causes. I am not the one to drive my models into eating disorders. You should see my photos before you put the blame on me” Sauli said frustrated and stroked Adam’s hair.

Leila sighed and kind of nodded, agreeing. She’s just worried about her son.

“I’ve seen him, Sauli… I’ve seen him starve. I’ve seen him,,, binge. I thought I’d lose him” Her eyes started to water so she quickly wiped them, “I don’t want to fear that. Never again”

Sauli frowned and nodded understandingly.

"Stop bitching at him, mom" Adam mumbled all of a sudden, "He doesn't deserve it"

Hearing Adam's voice relaxed them both. It was tired, low and exhausted but it was there.

"You're awake, honey" Leila whispered, petting the black hair of her son. 

"Barely. Where the fuck am I and what the fuck is going on?" Adam asked, briefly opening his eyes but closed them right away after seeing the bright light of the room.

"Watch your language, Adam" Leila said firmly but her face softened soon, "You're resting in a hospital now. Are you in pain?"

"No..." Adam said, "Just tired"

"The nurse just left. She wants to talk to you since you’re awake”

Adam shook his head.

“I don’t want to. Not yet… I can hardly tell what’s my name” He said and opened his eyes again.

He does realize why he’s at the hospital. He always feared that it would happen again. Thank god this time Sauli was there to call help.

“I just want to go home”

“You can’t. Not yet. First they need to talk and take more tests if necessary. Do I go and get someone?” Leila asked and got up from the chair.

Adam sighed and shrugged.

“Okay… At least I get to go home before the next week”

Leila left the room to find someone who could check Adam and tell what’s next and can he go home today.

Sauli leaned closer to press a gentle kiss on Adam’s hairline. Adam looked at him through his eyelashes and with tired eyelids.

“Was it my heart?” He asked, preparing himself for the worst.

Sauli shook his head as no.

“No. Nor the kidneys. The nurse said you have a peptic ulcer and some type of malnutrition. And low blood pressure. You didn’t keep that lunch inside didn’t you?” Sauli asked firmly but the way Adam expressed the shame and guilt after the question he sort of wanted to take it back.

“Guess I finally destroyed my stomach… And myself too”

“It could be worse. From irregular heartbeat to cardiac arrest. You’re 17, Adam. This is not what you deserve” Sauli pressured and squeezed his hand, “Maybe you hate yourself. You look in the mirror wishing you’d look different and you sit at home thinking why you are like this but that’s not what I think” He said and looked at Adam in the eyes, “I love you. I _need_ you”

Adam bit his lip to keep it from trembling. Sauli stood up so he could lean down more easily and gave Adam a soothing, loving hug.

“I just want to be good enough… I want to be good. For you. For everyone. But whatever I do is never good enough…” Adam whispered, his voice shaky and broken.

Sauli pulled away and cupped his face.

“You are good. But you need to be good for yourself. Not for anyone else. Not even for me”

Adam opened his mouth but his words were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Leila stepped in with the same nurse who was in the room earlier.

Sauli let go of Adam and sat back on his chair.

“Hello, Adam. You remember me? I’m Jazmine and I work here as a nurse” She said and stepped closer to Adam’s bed.

Adam looked at her slightly dark skin and long brown hair for a while and nodded.

“Yeah, I remember”

Jazmine smiled at him,

“Do you want to talk in private?” She asked him, gesturing Leila and Sauli.

Adam glanced at them both. Sauli knows anyway while his mother doesn’t but at the same time he doesn’t really want to tell her to go away.

“It’s fine”

“Okay” She said and touched Adam’s shoulder, “First I want you to sit up”

Adam pushed himself slowly up with her help and closed his eyes when his vision went a little blurry.

But it went over fast.

“Do you remember what happened before you were brought in here?” Jazmine asked, ready to write down what she was saying.

“I remember I felt dizzy. And I remember when they took some tests in here”

She nodded and wrote it in her memo.

“You have a peptic ulcer. Have you been feeling soreness in your abdomen lately?”

Adam nodded.

“Beneath my chest and sometimes very sharp pain in my stomach during the week…”

Leila noticed Sauli’s face change. It was enough to tell her that he was also surprised by his answer.

Adam avoided their looks.

“Have you been eating properly?”

The question he was afraid of. He just shrugged.

“The malnutrition doesn’t happen in one night. If you’ve been eating badly you need to tell me” She pressured, aware that it made Adam very uneasy.

Adam glanced at Sauli who had a wishful look on his face. At the same time he knew how Adam felt. He’s been in the same situation.

“I… I’ve been eating. But I…” Adam exhaled. He can’t say it out loud.

But Jazmine waited.

“I’ve purged”

Leila felt dizzy and she had to sit down. Adam gave her an apologetic look,

"I'm sorry, mom" Adam said but Leila shook her head, reaching out to take Adam's hand. 

Jazmine nodded then. It’s all the tests she needed. 

“Your heart is fine. For now. But there might be a day when it’s not sooner than you think if you won’t start the rehab”

“I know” Adam loudly informed and let his head hung, “I know every single thing this does to me but I can’t stop. I can't find the will neither the strength”

Sauli felt pain for him, both mental and physical.

“You can recover, I promise, and you don’t have to do it alone. For now I let you rest and go home. You need to pick your drugs from pharmacy, though. They will help your ulcer to heal. You can call here if you need help” She said and handed Adam a small card with a phone number and an address. 

Adam thanked her and eyed the card when Jazmine left them.

Sauli immediately moved to sit next to Adam on his bed and stroked his back.

Leila was still locked up. Just like Sauli was for a few minutes when he found Adam from the bathroom.

She got up and kissed Adam’s head to tell him it was okay. She was fine and she was most definitely not mad.

“Call me, Adam. Come and see me. No don’t, I come to visit you guys someday. I’ll leave you guys alone now”

Adam just nodded and watched her leave. When she was gone, Sauli asked Adam if he remembered more than he told Jazmine.

"I really don't remember. I just remember the photoshoot and suddenly I felt dizzy" Adam frowned. 

"You said you were hurting and then you just blacked out" Sauli said, running his hand over Adam's knee, "I freaked out. I really did"

"Sorry..." Adam whispered, "This has happened once before. Danielle found me that time"

Sauli sat on Adam's bed,

"What happened?"

"I had binged. A lot. I remember feeling all sore and my stomach felt like exploding. I was groaning and whining in my friend's bathroom... I passed out there. I had left the door unlocked because Danielle wasn't home. She found me there" Adam said quietly.

Sauli's stomach tightened. She must have been scared to death. Sauli kissed Adam's cheek and rubbed his back again.

"I just feel so embarrassed... " Adam sighed, hiding his face behind his palms, "I can't believe you still sit there"

"Of course I am" Sauli said and hugged Adam's form properly, "Of course. But I'd rather sit at home with you. Are you ready to go?"

Adam nodded, uncovering his face.

"Yeah... I just need to change. Can you help me up? I still feel a little weak"

Sauli got down from the bed and supported Adam's bodyweight when he got up and down from the bed.

"Ouch, my stomach still hurts..." He cringed, pressing a hand on top of his belly.

"No wonder considering you have peptic ulcer. I got some clothes to you while you slept, you can change into them” Sauli told him.

 

♥♥♥

 

Adam was drowsy but couldn't sleep. Neither could Sauli. The day hasn't been only rough for Adam but for him too.

Hearing how much damage Adam has caused to his own body really woke him up a big time, and how severe damage he _could_ cause to himself. 

"Sauli?"

"Hm?"

Adam turned on his other side so he could see Sauli who was still sitting on his side of the bed, against the headboard, with a laptop.

"Could I have a day off tomorrow?"

"You're on a sick leave actually. For the rest of the week" Sauli said, "No way I'd let you to work anyway. You just rest now"

Adam pursed out his lips and dragged himself closer to Sauli but Sauli closed his laptop.

"Hmph. Are you watching porn there?" Adam joked but felt offended in a way. He understands that Sauli's paperwork is private and not his business. But still. He feels like an outsider.

Sauli chuckled and put his laptop on the floor next to the bed.

"Definitely not. I have a man in my bed who’s way hotter than any porn could ever be" Sauli smiled and ran his fingers through Adam's hair.

Adam smiled at the words and contact.

"Liar"

"I'm not. You're the sweetest and you're the hottest" Sauli said, pressing a kiss on Adam's lips, "And sexiest" He murmured in a lower tone, kissing Adam again, "The most beautiful boy I have ever seen"

Adam kissed back eagerly but pulled away when it got a little too sexy and heated.

"I'm still sore, achy, bloated, tired... Mmph"

Sauli didn't let him continue the words, just pressed in with more force. Of course he rather doesn’t make Adam more uncomfortable than he already is.

He pulled away and kissed his forehead.

"I know. So how about a long hot bubble bath together and then we could watch True Blood"

Adam hummed and nodded. Sounds good enough.

"I'll go run the water" Sauli said and pecked Adam briefly on the lips, got up and headed to the bathroom.

Adam smiled after him and pushed himself up to a sitting position. He felt his stomach again and grimaced.

His tummy needs to get used to a proper diet but it will take a while.

He'll be able to do it with Sauli's help, he's sure. He must.

He stood up and took off his shirt and sweatpants along with his briefs and socks. With Sauli he sometimes forgets how insecure he truly is. And used to be with Sauli too.

Sauli has proved him that he's perfect to him the way he is.

"You coming?" Sauli asked from the bathroom.

"Yeah" Adam replied loudly and made his way to the bathroom.

Sauli sat beside the bathtub, his hand in the water to feel the temperature.

Adam sat in the tub first since he's the one who sits against the tub wall. Sauli sat between his legs and leaned against his chest.

"This is so nice" He beamed and grabbed Adam's hands, pulling them around his waist, “Do I hurt you?”

“No” Adam replied and nuzzled the back of Sauli’s neck. 

Sauli smiled.

"Have you ever heard of Accutane?"

Sauli frowned and turned his head to look at Adam.

"Yes. That was very random of you. Why?"

"I've been considering of getting it"

"Don't. Firstly, for what? Your skin is so pretty. Secondly, it's hell of a toxic to you. It's so strong and can be very harmful" Sauli told him firmly but gently and brushed Adam's cheek with his hand, "I can do a facial to you. You don't need that drug"

Adam closed his eyes and exhaled. Okay, maybe he didn't think it through. He sees himself so differently than others.

Or then Sauli is just being nice. Few minutes of silence until Adam spoke again.

"Could I do a photoshoot with a bulimia theme?"

"If you want to" Sauli said, stroking Adam's knee, "What have you been thinking?"

Adam shrugged, even though Sauli couldn't see him.

"I don't know. I'd just like to pour myself into that"

Sauli nodded,

"You can do that. We can do that"

Adam kissed the back of Sauli's neck and murmured a quiet thank you.

"I have something to tell you" Sauli said then, not really sounding worried or sad, just a casual information.

"Hm?"

"I have a work trip to Europe soon. And I will visit my family in Finland as well. Would you like to come with me?"

Adam's lips froze against Sauli's neck. A trip. To Europe. Finland. Sauli's family.

"T-to Europe? Finland? To meet your family?"

Sauli turned fully around and spread his legs on both sides of Adam's hips. 

"Yeah. That's where I come from. I'd like to show you things"

Adam pursed out his lips and scratched the back of his head.

"I dunno... That's a lot to me... I'm not sure am I emotionally ready to meet your family and stuff"

Sauli smiled at him gently and placed two fingers under his chin to keep him from dipping his head down. 

"My family means mom and my sisters and I'm more than sure that they'd love you"

Adam took a deep breath and shrugged.

"Maybe they would. Or not"

More likely not. In Adam's opinion at least. Sauli sighed with an understanding smile. He can imagine how Adam feels like.

He was nervous too when he met Leila for the first time. He'd like to meet Adam's brother as well but he's not sure if that's possible yet.

"They would. I'm sure. Besides,,, I'm going to Finland for Christmas anyway so. And I don't wanna be apart from you now when"

"When I'm in a rehab" Adam finished for him, "I know"

"Hey", Sauli started out gently, rubbing his palms against Adam's thighs under the water, "It's not that I don't trust you. I don't trust mysef. I need you near me or I go crazy thinking that you could get seriously hurt while you're alone in here. Come with me, please" He pleaded, pressing their foreheads together, "Please"

Adam groaned and tried to refuse the playful bunch of kisses Sauli was trying to give him.

Sauli still managed to kiss his whole face like an enthusiastic puppy.

“Okay! Fine! I’ll go with you! On one condition,”

Sauli pulled away and rolled his eyes.

“Again. Let me guess, you want to fuck me the whole night”

“No!” Adam whined and playfully slapped Sauli’s arm, “I mean yes. But that’s not it”

“Then what?”

“Fluffie comes with us. And no one will know about my eating disorder”

“That was two, but fine” Sauli, kissing Adam sweetly and gently on the lips, “I promise”

 

♥♥♥A few days later… ♥♥♥

 

Adam was scratching Fluffie behind his ears and listened to Sauli talk on the phone with a friend of his in Finnish.

Such a funny language to listen to. Sauli was smiling so much while talking so Adam almost felt a pitch of jealousy in his stomach.

Almost.

Sauli hung up and threw his phone on the bed next to Adam. Adam hates that smile.

Well no, he doesn't hate it like that but there's just something in it.

"Who was that?" He asked, trying not to sound too jealous.

Sauli fell on the bed on his back on the other side of Fluffie and looked at Adam.

"A friend"

Adam's fingers twitched.

"Who?"

"What who? A friend. A female friend" Sauli pressured and started petting Fluffie too.

Adam still wasn't satisfied.

"Fine! My friend Nea is one of my greatest friends who meets my sense of humor and is a good ice skater. Happy?" Sauli asked, little frustrated how Adam always wants to know the details, "I'll meet her in Finland. Geez"

"Okay" Adam said quietly and avoided his look. Sauli must think he's an annoying green eyed monster.

Gosh, Adam can be so childish, Sauli thought.

Fluffie sensed the tension between them and he hopped down from the bed like he was uncomfortable.

Adam was about to get up too but Sauli grabbed his wrist.

"Hey, no. You have rights to know who I'm talking to but not every single detail matters"

"I know. That smile just reminded me of the one you gave me when I spent my first night in your place" Adam said carefully and lay back down.

Sauli lay on his side next to him and put his hand on Adam's stomach.

"And you thought I'd have same feelings towards the person on the other end of the line just because I smiled?"

"Well, no but..."

"Stop assuming things, silly"

Adam sighed and stared at the ceiling.

"Sorry"

Sauli sighed as well and pulled Adam towards him by the hip. Adam knew what he wanted so he moved to straddle Sauli's legs.

"'s fine. I'd be jealous over you as well"

It made Adam smile just a little.

"You would?"

"Oh, definitely" Sauli smiled, sliding his hands under Adam's black tank top, "If anyone even lays a seductive eye on you, I'll break their bones"

Adam chuckled and blushed. He knows Sauli is joking, being like he is over Sauli sometimes.

Sauli wouldn't be so raw as him. Unless someone would try to shamelessly get in Adam’s pants right under his eyes. 

"But I gotta love you for that. At least all the creepy guys stay away from me" Sauli beamed and ran his hands all over Adam's bare back.

"They better do" Adam said firmly and leaned his head down to kiss Sauli's waiting lips. Sauli locked his lips with Adam's. 

The kiss was brief and sweet but sometimes you don't need anything else to wake up the fire.

Right after pulling away, after sharing a sultry look with each other, Adam pushed their lips back together more forcefully.

Sauli hummed in a pleased surprise and wrapped his arms around Adam's shoulders, pulling his body down flush on top of his.

Sauli loves it when Adam covers his whole body from head to toe. He can feel his body heat on every part of his body.

"I don't know can I take such jostling yet..." Adam whispered in the kiss, reminding Sauli that he was still a recover. 

"Oh, right" Sauli said, he didn't really even remember, "It's okay. Sex can mean a number of other things" He hissed with a smile and gave a firm squeeze to Adam's ass.

"Who said anything about sex?" Adam teased.

"Your cock" Sauli declared, thrusting his hips up at Adam's cock to feel his hardness.

Adam grunted, grinding his crotch against Sauli's.

"We could play that truth or dare game" Adam suggested, nuzzling Sauli's neck, "Now when we're alone and no one will interrupt we can take the truths as well"

"You, my dear" Sauli started, tangling his fingers in Adam's hair, "Are a genius"

He kissed Adam once more before pulling away to get the card box from his nightstand drawer.

He let Adam have the first card.

"This is a dare. Stimulate the part of my body that you know is sensitive but not the genitals or my ass"

Neck. Collarbones. Nipples. Inner thighs. The back of his knees and calves. So many pleasure triggers.

Sauli grabbed Adam's leg and, a little surprisingly, bent it at the knee and pressed his lips against his ankle.

Adam is ticklish and he always rubs his feet with care. But his ankle became familiar to Sauli when he got hurt.

Sauli discovered a whole new erogenous zone from his body.

Adam closed his eyes, sighing. Sauli knows him too well. It's not a spot that would drive him crazy immediately but something that keeps up the sensation.

It feels wonderful.

"Fuck, how did you know that?" Adam asked.

Sauli drags the tip of his tongue around the dip under Adam's ankle, listening to his breath hitch.

"I know lot of things about you" Sauli smirked, licking around the ankle. He even bit the fragile skin, grazing his teeth around the ankle. 

Adam smiled in bliss. 

"Time's up" Sauli smirked, letting go of Adam's foot.

Adam groaned.

Sauli pulled out a card as it was his turn.

"Truth. Have you ever wanted to tie me up?"

Adam's cheeks flushed at the tone Sauli used. Fuck. His kinky fantasy.

"Yes, I have" He murmured.

Sauli might have just creamed his pants.

"Tell me more"

"Not part of the question" Adam said cockily and took the card from Sauli's hands.

He pulled out his own new card.

"Truth. Tell me the most inappropriate moment you thought of me naked"

Sauli pursed out his lips and thought about it. Oh boy, there are so many. Sometimes he can't help but think about Adam spread out on the bed all naked. 

"The most inappropriate one? Probably while I was having dinner with the fashion professionals some while ago. They were so boring I could not think of anything but you naked"

Adam laughed. God knows what important information Sauli missed.

Sauli chuckled as well and pulled out a card.

"Dare. Turn me on"

Well, this might be fun and incredibly hot at the same time. 

"That’s it? Okay but you need to get off of these clothes" Adam said, tugging on the hem of Sauli's shirt.

Sauli stripped off his shirt and threw it on the floor. Adam admired his taut six pack, licking his lips.

"Pants too" Adam beamed, watching intensively as Sauli stripped them off too.

When Sauli was in his light colored briefs, Adam stripped off his own clothes too, leaving himself in his tight black briefs.

He doesn’t really feel that sexy with his slightly bloated stomach but considering the tent Sauli’s underwear is forming, he is sexy enough for him.

Sauli realized Adam was already done. He didn't have to do anything but command him to undress and do the same himself and bam, he was already turned on and slowly getting hard.

"But since I'm nice, I might do another thing too" Adam whispered and lay between Sauli's legs.

He leaned down to lick his neck while grinding his cock hard against him.

Sauli ran his fingers through Adam's fluffy hair and bent his head back, surrendering himself to him and his talented mouth.

Adam knows all the spots on his neck. He groaned when Adam gave a hard thrust down against his crotch and bit on his earlobe at the same time.

Sauli reached down to grab Adam's ass and gave it a squeeze hard enough to make Adam sigh blissfully. 

"Oh shoot, time's up" He smirked then and pulled away, feeling all cocky.

Sauli panted for a moment and watched Adam pull out a new card for himself. 

But he didn't read it out loud yet, he just lay down, spread his legs and stared at the card.

"Dare. Lick any part of my body for 30 seconds"

Sauli smirked and looked at the position Adam was in. 

"And you don't try to give me a hint or anything with that position?" He asked and stroked Adam's thighs, slowly up and down.

Adam shook his head as no and put the card away, running his fingers up and down the line of hair that goes into his pants before dipping his fingers under the elastic band.

"But,,, I feel like you might want to lick this" Adam murmured, pulling out his hard cock.

Sauli licked his lips. Yeah, he just might but he might not want to give in so easily, he enjoys driving Adam crazy. 

Sauli leaned down to kiss Adam's belly button, feeling his warm cock against his cheek. 

Adam huffed out a chuckle, somehow not surprised Sauli would decide to do that. 

Sauli smiled against his skin, glancing up into Adam's eyes and flicked his tongue around his belly button,

"What? Not the spot you were thinking of?" He asked with a wicked grin. 

"You little-"

"I know" Sauli snickered and moved his head a little, poking Adam's shaft with the tip of his tongue. 

Adam shifted, his hips moving either intentionally or as a reflex. 

Sauli sat back on his haunches and pulled Adam's briefs down to his ankles, and threw them on the floor.

Adam's cock was curved up and lay prominently against his belly, waiting for a touch or a kiss.

Sauli leaned down to give it a few licks and kissed the head tentatively, before just nuzzling Adam’s crotch.

Adam looked at him, keeping his hands on Sauli’s head as he rubbed his nose on the trimmed hair he had down there.

"I think the 30 seconds has already passed" Adam said between his quick breaths. 

"I know" Sauli said, kissing Adam's ball sack once then again twice in a row, sucking in a little. It made Adam's cock twitch visibly under his gaze. 

“Fuck this game, I want you know” He groaned, throwing Adam’s legs over his shoulders and started sucking in earnest.

Adam threw his head back and moaned in surprise. His cock was deep in the warmth and wetness of Sauli’s mouth.

Sauli sucked in his cheeks, pulled away with a wet pop and kissed the wet tip.

He flickered his tongue around that magical spot underneath the head for a couple of seconds, enough to make Adam writhe.

While pleasuring Adam with his mouth, he managed to push down his own briefs and kick them somewhere in the room.

Sauli grabbed Adam's knees, pushing his legs back and lowered his mouth past Adam's balls. He breathed against his entrance and gave a quick lick across it.

He noticed Adam's body tense and felt him tug on his hair, so he brought his mouth back on the base of his cock. 

"Sorry..." Adam whispered, "I just-"

"No, bunny, it's okay" Sauli said right away, "Just let me know if you change your mind"

"I promise" Adam smiled, "Come up here” he said, pulling Sauli carefully by his hair.

Sauli kissed Adam’s balls once more and crawled up willingly, moaning quietly when his cock came in contact with Adam’s hard-on.

He let his body down and started grinding his cock against Adam's, happy that Adam was leaking enough after his mouth to make the friction feel a little wetter.

They pushed their lips together with force. 

Adam’s hands wandered on Sauli’s skin, on every hot patch of skin he could reach while Sauli kept his body up above him and ground their dicks together.

Without breaking the kiss, Adam reached down to rub his thumb over the heads, making them both gasp. 

The friction was good but it felt like it was not enough so he pulled away and rolled them over. He wrapped his wet palm around their cocks and placed his lips near Sauli’s ear.

“I’d fuck you so hard if I could” Adam whispered huskily right against Sauli’s ear, sending shivers down his spine, “I’d bury my cock deep in your tight ass. … Or would you like to fuck me? Keep my legs spread wide open and pound into me while I moan your name?” He hissed, jerking them off fast.

Sauli fondled Adam’s ass and tried to keep his moans inside as Adam whispered dirty things in his ear.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to fuck you in the past few days… Or been able to get fucked by you. But I’ve dreamt of fucking you every time I’ve jerked off. I love to feel you around me” Adam continued. 

Sauli was getting close. It’s crazy what Adam’s voice and those little dirty things he says can do to him.

“I love to spread your legs wide open and push inside” Adam groaned, the speed of his hand already furiously fast, “Don’t you love it too?”

“Oh fuck yes” Sauli groaned, squeezing Adam’s ass in his palms as he shot his loads between them.

Adam’s cum splattered on their bodies right after him and he released a gorgeous moan from his throat.

He kept jerking them until the rough touch was too much for them both.

Sauli had clean hands so he grabbed Adam’s head and kissed him hard and deep. 

“I fucking love it when you talk dirty”

 

♥♥♥

 

Sauli was working at home and edited the photos he took of Adam in the police officer outfit some days ago. He got some pretty hot and gorgeous shots.

He wouldn’t mind to be arrested by that cop. He could even use handcuffs to cuff him to bed. 

He also kept his eyes on Adam who watched TV and ate cereal on the couch. Slowly but Sauli was happy that at least he did eat. 

Adam is brave and he’s taking his recovery seriously. It will take time but what else do you have in your life than time?

Sauli wasn’t watching after him 24/7 though, he showed him that he trusts in him but he must show he’s worth it.

Adam put the almost empty bowl on the table and hugged his knees to his chest when he sat back down.

This might be one of those moments when he needs an encouraging hug or words. Or just a better distraction than TV.

Sauli closed his laptop and made his way on the couch next to him.

“What are you watching?”

“Some sitcom. There’s nothing worth watching” Adam said and let go of his knees.

“Sometimes the list is just so poor” Sauli agreed and cuddled close to his warm, cuddly boyfriend.

Adam wrapped his arm around Sauli and kept him close. This is something he enjoys. Just a peaceful night at home with Sauli and Fluffie.

Like they’re some old, married couple.

Adam smiled. 

Sauli noticed it.

“What?” He asked, smiling as well.

Adam shrugged.

“Just… Aren’t we kinda boring? We work, sit at home, cook sometimes and watch TV. It's like we're something between 30 and 40"

Sauli laughed and hugged Adam a little tighter.

“What we should do? Be into parachuting, sacrifice baby goats and grow jalapenos in the backyard?”

Adam laughed and kissed the top of Sauli’s head.

Sauli continued, a little more seriously,

“We might seem boring to others but we’re perfect like this” He smiled and intertwined their fingers and looked at them, “I wouldn’t change our lives. We’re partly wrecked, boring, stressed and don’t have BDSM sex but hell,,, I love us like this”

Adam looked at their fingers as well and nodded.

“I do too. So much” He smiled and glanced at Sauli who smiled back at him. 

“Oh and I already brought those tickets to us. Europe here we come” Sauli beamed and sat on Adam’s lap.

Adam knew he would. But he’s already more comfortable with the thought of it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PENIS!  
> Hope I got your attention-  
> Okay please READ THIS. I bet you're all busy following the Queenbert tour so we're square since I just finished my two week summer job and now I have to start REALLY reading for my exam which is in the Fall so no time to write. BIG exam. So no update let's say in,,, 3 to 4 weeks?  
> But big thank you for reading this fic so far and I hope you guys find the next chapter worth waiting :) I never thought this would be such a success.


	22. All I want for Christmas 1.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very light and happy, giddy chapter after a few serious ones.  
> Enjoy.

Adam had never been abroad before and now he was in Paris. All alone with Sauli, taking a silly selfie on their hotel room’s balcony, Eiffel Tower standing behind them.

They stuck out their tongues when Sauli snapped a photo of them.

They laughed and Sauli put his camera on the table in the balcony. It was a little chilly outside for Adam, someone who has lived in California his entire life. 

"Look how beautiful" Sauli sighed, watching the view of the town. There was some snow in the ground and in the trees, Christmas lights brightly lighting up the evening. 

"I know. I can't believe I'm here with you" Adam said and pulled Sauli against his chest.

Sauli placed his hands on Adam's arms and accepted the kiss Adam gave him. It was short and sweet.

"Your mom trusted me enough to let you" Sauli smiled and dropped his hands on Adam's hips, "It's a really big thing to me"

Adam smiled and put his hands on the sides of Sauli's neck.

"Yes. But she said if I come back with body piercings, tattoos or I'm bald, she'll end you"

Sauli laughed.

"No piercings or tattoos without her permission are allowed in Finland anyway. Unless a friend of mine would do. And bald? Please. I would never let you do that. I love your hair" Sauli said and reached up, tugging gently on Adam's soft hair.

"I've noticed. But don't worry I wouldn't do it. I want tattoos though" Adam said thoughtfully, "Maybe your friend could do one somewhere where my mom wouldn't see it"

Sauli gave him a firm look,

"Don't. She'll kill me if she finds out. You can take one next month when you turn 18"

"Something small! Somewhere around my hip" Adam whined, pulling Sauli closer so he could nibble on his ear, "Please, ask your friend. I can make it up to you..."

Sauli's eyes rolled back to his head as he shivered.

"Stop seducing me. It's not fair" He said, pushing Adam further away from him.

Adam casually dropped down to his knees.

"Or you want me to make it up right now?"

Sauli pulled Adam up by his arms and glared at him.

"No! We have a table reservation in an hour and we're on a balcony!"

Sauli tried not to get concerned about the way Adam's smile faded just a bit when he told him about the dinner. He still smiled, but not as wide and not as genuinely.

"Since we're here I want to show you the best restaurant" Sauli said quietly and drew small circles on Adam's hip bones with his thumbs. 

"You're giving me too much. I can't give anything back to you" Adam said quietly and folded his arms, looking at the city beneath them.

Sauli frowned and grabbed his arms, pulling them back straight and took his hands into his. 

"What? What'd you mean?"

"You bought me the flight tickets, you pay my hotel, you pay my dinners and you pay me my salary. What do I do for you?" Adam asked, "Nothing!" he said loudly and quite frustrated.

"Baby... You do more than I could ever tell. I pay because I can afford that. And the salary is agency's money obviously, not mine"

"Still. Let me pay the dinners in the future at least. It would make me feel a little better" Adam pleaded, his big eyes reminding a lost puppy.

Sauli smiled and nodded,

"If you really want to. But the dinner today,,, It's my treat"

"Okay. Where do we go and what should I wear?" Adam asked, smiling already.

Sauli placed a hand on his lower back and gently turned him towards the city view.

"There" He said, pointing at the fancy looking restaurant in the distance, "So what do you think?"

Adam pondered for a moment, looking at the building. You can't say much from the outside but it wasn't a pizzeria and not the fanciest one he has seen.

"I'd say just a regular suit with a little glam touch"

Sauli dropped his hand on Adam's ass and pinched his right cheek. Adam chuckled and push his hand away.

"Sounds good"

"I'll tell you what sounds good" Adam murmured, taking a hold of Sauli's small body and pushed him inside the room, shut the balcony doors, and pushed Sauli onto their bed, "And you will listen"

Sauli watched him with a gaping mouth, which made Adam smirk as he got on his knees on the bed, his legs on both sides of Sauli's hips.

"I'll listen"

"Returning from the dinner back here sounds good. And me,,," Adam started, leaning closer to Sauli's face and whispered in his ear, "Fucking you sounds good"

Sauli shivered.

"It might not sound so good to the ones who stay in the room next to us" Adam said then, frowning a little and pulled away, sitting back on Sauli's crotch.

Sauli laughed and slapped his thigh.

"You're really good at breaking the mood"

"Sorry" Adam beamed, leaning back close, "But I am master at getting it back"

He licked his way into Sauli's mouth and swirled his tongue wildly, making Sauli moan and close his eyes. His fingers dove into Adam's hair and the other arm went around his slim waist, pulling him close. 

Their tongues were bumping together, saliva dribbling on their lips. 

When Adam pulled away they both gasped for air and looked at each other with lustful eyes.

"I said no time- The reservation…" Sauli stuttered.

"I know" Adam said, grinding his growning erection against Sauli.

Sauli groaned, gripping Adam's waist tighter keep him close.

"S-so not fair. You tease..."

Adam smirked and pushed himself up.

"Sorry. We were in a hurry weren't we?"

 

♥♥♥

 

Sauli didn't mind about a few people on the streets who recognized his face when they walked to the restaurant. He just politely told them he'd like to have a private time with his boyfriend.

In the restaurant they got a more private space in the corner of the room.

The dinner was great and fulfilling and they had just ordered the dessert.

"Everything in Paris is so beautiful" Adam whispered while looking out of the window completely dazed. 

"Truly is" Sauli agreed and thanked the waiter who brought their dessert and also thanked her for letting them have their own little private booth. It was important that there were no others for so many reasons.

Sauli noticed the way Adam looked at the cake. He looked sort of scared.

"Hey" Sauli whispered, taking Adam's hand in his and squeezed it tight, "It's okay"

Adam looked at him and then just chuckled like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world to be scared of but Sauli saw more behind that nervous laughter.

He gave the most gentle smile at him and let go of Adam's hand. He took a small spoon from the table and sliced a small piece of the chocolate filled cake on the spoon. 

"Here, let me" He said and brought the spoon on Adam's lips, keeping his other hand below his chin in case it dribbles, "Open"

Carefully and unsurely, Adam opened his mouth and closed it when Sauli brought the spoon in. He felt the chocolate caress his taste buds, felt the soft dough and the cream.

It was scary how good it tasted.

"I'm not letting you get hurt by this. Not ever. I'm right here with you" Sauli whispered and pulled the spoon out, "I'm right here"

Adam chewed on the cake, nodding. Sauli handed him an own spoon.

"You have to able to enjoy such things as dessert. Or are you already full?"

"No" Adam said right away, fidgeting, "No. I mean I get bloated so easily after I eat. The doctor said it takes weeks until my digestive system gets balanced"

"But you're okay now?" Sauli asked, frowning when Adam seemed so unease.

"I am" Adam said quietly, "I just feel so... Out of control. And I haven't felt this way since I started the rehab"

Sauli reached out to pet Adam's cheek.

"Hey... This is normal. First we eat the dinner itself and then we have dessert. We feel full afterwards. After this we can go back to the hotel and relax, 'kay?"

Adam nodded, glancing at the cake again. He slid his both hands between his knees, keeping them trapped tightly between them, and just sat there.

Sauli took a spoonful of the cake himself before giving Adam some more.

"You really don't have to eat this cake if you don't want to" Sauli said when he pulled the spoon out of Adam's mouth again, "If you're full, you are. No forcing"

Adam swallowed the creamy soft cake he was chewing and shook his head.

"I'm not that full. And that's,,, new. Every time I ate something like this my stomach hurt so much afterwards... "

Sauli put the spoon down on the plate and reached for Adam's hand that was tucked between his knees as if to stop himself from eating. 

"I refuse to let you hurt today but you got to trust in yourself too" Sauli said gently and offered Adam an own spoon again.

Adam nodded, dragging himself closer to Sauli and took the spoon from him.

Sauli smiled at him and squeezed his thigh encouragingly.

"I love you"

"I love you more"

"Like you even could because I love you the most" Sauli cooed and they shared a kiss mixed with Adam's flattered and sheepish giggles.

Sauli pulled away shortly.

"I really need to get in your pants. It's been illegally long since I did last time" Sauli said under his breath and ran his hand over the crease of Adam's thigh, where the thigh meets the groin. 

"That was yesterday" Adam pointed out with an amused chuckle.

"Way too long time ago" Sauli said, wrinkling his nose. 

Adam nudged him gently and kept giggling.

"Perv. Don't you think of anything else?"

"Yes. Like how I'd be bored to death by now if you didn't come with me" Sauli said with a smile and kissed Adam on the cheek.

Adam smiled and finally dipped his spoon into their cake and brought some into his mouth.

Sauli didn't say anything because he knew well enough not to pay too much attention. He just took some himself too.

"My family is so enthusiastic to meet you. My mom said she has put a king sized bed to my old room and my sisters are freaked to meet the new model sensation"

Adam groaned, making Sauli laugh.

"What if I'm not what they expect me to be? What if they don't like me and then you have to-"

Sauli pressed his finger on Adam's lips.

"Hush. I don't see any reason why they wouldn't like you. And the most important thing is that I'm in love with you. And if that isn't enough for them to like you I drag myself and you out of the house as soon as I can and spend the Christmas with the one that matters most. Alone just the two of us" Sauli whispered and dropped his finger from Adam's lips.

Adam put his hand on his chest, above his heart and almost pulled Sauli on his lap.

"Oh god, I love you"

Sauli smiled and got on Adam's lap like he had just read his mind. Adam automatically looked around and Sauli could see his cheeks flush the slightest bit.

"You don't have to say that every second, I do know it"

"I know. It just comes"

Sauli's hand was on the back of Adam's head and his fingers played with the hair.

"It's fine. Don't take it that way. What I tried to say is that you don't have to convince me. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere" Sauli said and Adam pressed his head on his shoulder.

"How do you read me so well?"

"Because I know you" Sauli whispered, stroking Adam's hair, "Better than anyone"

"Even better than myself" Adam mumbled, which made Sauli smile.

Then Adam's head jerked up.

"That's it" He said, his eyes wide.

"What?" Sauli asked confused.

"You. Are the only one that knows me" Adam said quietly, "Better than I know myself"

Sauli dipped his head to the side a little like he still didn't really catch what was it.

"The missing words from my lyrics" Adam said, still dazed that he actually got the words he'd been missing, "Oh my god! My song is finally ready!" He squealed, squeezing Sauli's form against his chest.

Sauli smiled and squeezed him back with just as much strength.

 

♥♥♥

 

Back in the hotel, they were already kissing on the hallway, fumbling with the keycard that just didn’t go in the right place.

"Come on, push it inside" Adam groaned while Sauli desperately tried to fit the card into the lock so they could get in their room and fuck each other senseless no matter if somebody heard them.

"I like the sound of that" Sauli smirked and pushed the door open, pulling Adam with him and Adam kicked the door closed.

At once Adam was wearing shoes with no heel so it wasn't such a trick for Sauli to keep kissing him for a longer amount of time.

He hungrily kept pulling on Adam's shirt that was tucked in his pants.

Adam started to slide Sauli's suit jacket off and Sauli let go of Adam's shirt just long enough for him to slide the jacket completely off.

Then he returned his hands on Adam's shirt and pulled the shirt out of his pants. He slid his hands underneath the fabric and caressed Adam's sides and stomach.

That's when Adam flinched quietly and grabbed his hands. Sauli pulled away and looked at Adam with concerned eyes.

And gosh, those rosy, swollen lips. Sauli wanted to suck on them and lick them until Adam is whining.

"You okay?" He asked, panting.

"Yeah. I just... You remember what I told you in the restaurant?"

Sauli nodded, his thumb tracing over Adam's belly button.

"Yeah, I do. I barely notice though" He whispered.

"But I notice and I feel it. And I don't want you to see me as something disgusting and gross while we’re… Intimate" Adam quietly said, hand still wrapped tightly around Sauli's wrist. 

"Why would I ever?" Sauli asked, "It doesn't bother me"

Adam sighed and moved Sauli's hands off his belly.

"It might..." He said with a nervous chuckle, "I mean it hurts a bit"

Sauli's face went like 'ohh'.

"I'm sorry. It's usually really bad after meals..." Adam apologized and sat on the bed. 

"Not a word, hey" Sauli said right away and crouched down to take off Adam's boots even though he didn't ask for it.

Adam thanked him and lay down, unbuckling his belt to stop it from painfully digging to his guts. He let out a relieved sigh once he got the button and the zipper of his pants undone too.

"You want to sleep or...?" Sauli asked while taking off his own shoes.

Adam shrugged and watched as he got on the bed next to him.

"I could have given you a hand job" Adam murmured, reaching down to cup Sauli's cock through the pants. 

"Nah, don't worry about it" Sauli said and pulled Adam's hand back up, "It wouldn't feel right when you're in pain" 

Adam smiled,

"Well, we can talk too. I might fall asleep though"

"Well, I'll be right next to you no matter what you decide to do" Sauli smiled and put his blazer on top of Adam's body, like tucking him in. 

"I know you do"

Adam's stomach made noises which made Adam soothe his hand over it again and he flushed when Sauli smiled at him sympathetically.

"So embarrassing..." Adam mumbled in a low tone and tucked himself under Sauli's jacket more comfortably. 

"'s not embarrassing. You're in a recovery. You're beating the monster" Sauli said gently and pulled Adam closer.

Adam snuggled against his side.

"You can sleep if you need to" Sauli suggested and plaid with Adam's hair.

"I know. And I probably should but what's the point of me being here when I can't even keep company to you?" Adam whined and cursed the stupid side effects.

Sauli put two fingers under Adam's chin and lift his head to meet the eyes.

"I rather stay awake beside you when you sleep than be completely alone. Your health goes above everything" He said, watching Adam's lips twitch into a small smile.

He let go of Adam's jaw so he could rest his head in the pit of his arm.

“Why did you start kissing me in the first place?” Sauli asked, his fingers playing in Adam’s hair again. 

Adam shrugged,

“Maybe I just wanted to hide it”

“Don’t, okay? Not from me”

Adam nodded and breathed in the soothing scent of Sauli's perfume. He took Sauli's hand and brought it down on his belly. 

"You want me to rub it?" Sauli asked quietly and traced his thumb over Adam's belly button. 

"If it's not too much to ask" Adam said a little sheepishly. 

"No, not at all" Sauli smiled and fixed his position a little to have Adam tucked under his other arm a little better. 

"This might be the most intimate thing you have ever done to me" Adam whispered. 

"I know" Sauli said quietly and pressed his head against Adam's, "I love that"

Adam smiled and closed his eyes, drifting into a pain relieving sleep.

 

♥♥♥

 

As beautiful as Paris was, they have to leave eventually to settle down in Finland before the Christmas Eve. There were other people to whom Sauli wanted to introduce Adam.

And some Finnish spare time activities Sauli loves.

Ice skating was one of them. A professional of that activity was one of the people Sauli wanted Adam to meet.

“Adam, this is Nea, one of my greatest friends” Sauli smiled, his arm around the girl’s shoulders.

She had a blonde hair that was tied up, her ears were covered with fluffy earmuffs and she had a bright, beautiful smile.

“And Nea, this is my boyfriend Adam”

Formalities aside, they just smiled at each other and greeted with simple hellos.

“And we’re going to teach him how to spend spare time in Finland during winter” Sauli smiled at Nea and Adam just knew that smile.

It never meant anything good.

Sauli gave a meaningful glance towards the ice rink next to them. In the center of fucking Helsinki.

“I will so not go there” Adam said right away but his hand was taken into a smaller hand that was covered with a blue mitten.

“Come on, Cali boy, of course I have to test you before I give my blessing” Nea said, joking of course.

Nea pulled him at the edge of the rink, Sauli following them.

“I got a few pair of skates because I didn’t know which size would fit you. You can try these first” Nea said and handed Adam the first pair.

Adam glanced at Sauli but Sauli didn’t show any signs of mercy on him. 

“Fine! But if I break my bones, you’re both dead” Adam hissed, somehow just feeling at ease in Nea’s company.

“Oooh, a feisty one” Nea grinned at Sauli who chuckled in response.

Sauli sat on the bench beside Adam and started to put on his own skates.

“I can help you with tying them once you’ve tried which ones fit” Nea said when Adam looked at the way Sauli put the ties. Sauli was using different skates though. 

Adam tried the first pair but they felt too small. The second pair was too big. He almost started to feel he might get away after all.

But fuck, the last ones fit.

He couldn’t even lie because Nea pressed his fingers against the skate to feel where his toes are.

“Perfect” Nea grinned, starting to tie the skates.

Adam looked at her skilled hands for a moment before turning his eyes towards the rink where he saw a few children and some parents at the edges.

One kid fell on the ice. Adam expected crying but all he heard was laughter.

It made him smile.

“See? If their fragile bodies don’t mind about a few falls I bet your cute bum can bear a few contacts with the ice” Sauli beamed and stood up with the skates in his feet.

“Stop saying things like that in public" Adam hissed at him. Sauli couldn’t tell were his cheeks red because of the coldness or did he just blush.

“She doesn’t mind. You should hear the stuff she can say” Sauli said, making Nea laugh, “She was teaching me how to skate and she kept talking about these men's positions . She started to sound like she planned to do a porno video”

Nea laughed more, pressing her forehead against Adam’s knee. Sauli’s cackles made Adam smile too.

Sauli went to test his skates and Adam watched him as he flew across the ice like he’d been doing it for years. Which he probably has. 

The children watched in awe when he showed them a few pirouettes.

"I think they're tight enough" Nea said, finishing with Adam's ice skates.

Adam watched as Sauli skated closer to them, the ice just screeched and the skim of ice flew on his toes when Sauli stopped. 

"I feel really depressed. You both are pros and then there's me" Adam said when Nea helped him up from the bench.

"Well, let me tell you, Sauli wasn't really good when he started skating" She grinned and glanced at Sauli.

Sauli huffed and nudged her playfully.

"Don’t!" Adam squeaked right away because Nea's loss of balance made him lose his own too.

Sauli chuckled and grabbed Adam's both hands. Actually his forearms so Adam could hold onto his.

Sauli helped him on the ice and beamed, starting to let go.

"Don't fucking let go or I will end you right now" Adam said, clutching his arms like his life depended on it.

Sauli chuckled.

"Okay. But don't curse when there are children here too"

Adam glanced around and saw a few pair of big eyes look at him like he was completely stupid and weird for not knowing how to skate.

"This is awkward"

"No, it's not. But you're much taller than me so you have to let go so you can stay balanced" Sauli guided.

Adam groaned and carefully let go of Sauli's arms. He was more than a little unsteady.

Nea skated to his other side after she had put on her skates too.

"The slide becomes easily when you learn it" She said, "I'll go to entertain those kids"

Her professional skating and tricks will put the kids in awe and their attention off of Adam.

"Small moves" Sauli smiled, skating backwards while Adam slowly moved towards him. You couldn't even call it skating but hey, ten points for trying.

Sauli's heart kept fluttering. Adam’s style was exactly the same as the young kid’s on the other side of the rink.

“Think it as rollerblading. Except with skates. On the ice. It’s not that hard” Sauli said thoughtfully, daring to speed up a bit but occasionally made sure he wasn’t bumping into anyone.

“Okay. Give me your hands” Sauli said after a few seconds and reached out his hands.

Adam grabbed them right away like they were his saving grace.

“Hold onto me. I won’t let you fall. But you need to let your legs move more freely” Sauli guided with a gentle tone and started to pull Adam with him.

Adam dared to take a few kicks. Sauli did the same to keep their distance and speed balanced.

They continued like that for a few minutes. Then Sauli decided Adam can manage on his own for a change.

And he did. His speed wasn’t fast but Sauli didn’t expect it to be. Sauli glanced at Nea who suddenly wasn’t with the kids anymore but actually held his camera and was pointing at them with it.

Sauli grinned but didn’t mention to Adam about it or he’d rant.

But when he turned his attention back on Adam he didn’t see him at his eye level but down on the ice.

"Ouch" 

Sauli tried not to giggle.

"You okay?" He asked and reached out his hand for him.

"Yes" Adam groaned, grabbing Sauli's hand, "But my ass isn't"

Sauli helped him up and brushed the snow off his clothes.

“And those little kids are laughing!” He squealed.

“When kids laugh they don’t mean anything bad” Sauli said to him, still holding onto his hand, "They're just kids"

“And Nea is taking pictures!”

“Well, this is a moment I’d love to remember” Sauli smiled and gave a smile towards the camera while Adam pouted.

Nea laughed after taking a photo of them. You can clearly see who’s enjoying and who really doesn’t.

Adam lost his balance again and caught Sauli off guard, causing them both to fall.

Sauli fell on top of Adam with bright laughter.

“You okay?” Sauli asked again, mostly concerned about Adam’s head because he didn't wear a helmet. 

“I'm fine” Adam snapped, groaning, “I hope you don’t have to ask that anymore”

Nea skated to them to make sure neither of them was hurt. She couldn’t help put snap a photo of the scene again. 

Adam’s face was so close to Sauli’s he couldn’t do anything but kiss him. Fuck every one of those adults who’re standing on the edges thinking this isn’t appropriate.

Just a sweet and brief kiss between two persons who love each other.

Nea helped Sauli up first, then they pulled Adam up together.

Adam placed his hand on his ass and groaned.

“Finns are crazy” He declared. 

Nea and Sauli exchanged a look.

“You don’t know half of it yet” Nea smiled.

Sauli wrapped his arms around his taller boyfriend and gave him a hug.

Adam smiled.

“Okay. Bring it on”

 

♥♥♥

 

Nea was right about it. He did not know half of it. They took him tobogganing in Hyvinkää, they had a snowball fight and the teams were Adam and Sauli vs. Nea and Sauli’s other good friend Niko.

Sauli had asked Niko's girlfriend Sofia too but she had somewhere to go. 

Adam was horrified at first. Just thinking about running in the cold snow.

And the first time he got snow under his jacket he was ready to call it quits. After Sauli had removed the melting snow from his back with his hands, he agreed to continue.

But he did not like the snowball he got on his cheek. It was an accident of course but still. Once Adam and Sauli were hiding in the snowy bushes, things got a little warmer.

They were so close they couldn’t keep hands off each other. And a few minutes of kissing in the cold snow… Adam didn’t fight against it.

Nea had surprised them. She had gestured Niko to come there and they had dropped snow on them. 

In the evening they said goodbyes to Nea and Niko and Adam felt like they actually liked him. Guess he passed Nea’s test.

But now, sitting in front of the fireplace in Sauli’s old home, Adam has to admit it felt a little more comfortable.

And Sauli’s mother, father and sisters had given him a warm welcome.

"Your hands are so cold" Sauli said while keeping Adam's both hands between his, "Hope you didn't get an awful picture of Finland's winter"

"No" Adam chuckled, "I had so much fun. My ass is probably bruised but that's fine"

Sauli smiled and snuggled closer to Adam, pulling the blanket over their shoulders.

He felt chilly. Adam felt so warm even though he was shivering too. Sauli clung onto Adam's thick cardigan, making Adam chuckle.

Sauli glanced up and into his eyes.

"I'm cold"

"Aaw. Then we need to warm you up" Adam cooed and wrapped his arms around Sauli and fell down on his back on the thick carpet, pulling Sauli with him.

The warmth of the fire was caressing them lovingly.

"I know a warm place for my hands" Sauli smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Adam laughed brightly,

"Oh really? Where might that be?"

Sauli slid his hands underneath Adam's shirt, his fingers running over his waistband but he ended up just resting them on his stomach.

"Don't think I dare to do anything else since my family is here" Sauli smiled, stroking the skin beneath his palms, "Except this" Sauli said, leaning in and captured Adam's lips into a tasteful, sweet kiss.

They both moaned quietly as their lips worked together, spreading the warmth in their shivering bodies.

"Boys,,, oh!"

Sauli pulled away and his cheeks flushed bright red. It's unusual to him but god damn, that’s his mother standing there.

"Mom, it's polite to knock" Sauli said in Finnish.

Adam pushed himself up to a sitting position as soon as Sauli moved off of him.

"Sorry. I just wanted to say it’s good to have you back home. And it’s good to see Adam too. There’s some food left in the fridge. You can warm it up and eat if you want to. I'll go to sleep now”

“I’m not a kid but okay. Nighty-night” Sauli said and smiled at her, watching her leave.

“What did she say?” Adam asked, surprised when Sauli pushed him back down on the floor. 

“Nothing special” Sauli said and got back into the kiss with Adam, “But I’m hungry for you”

Adam smirked, wrapping his arms around Sauli’s waist but couldn’t shake the feeling of somebody storming in.

“They’re all sleeping. No one will come here" Sauli convinced and slid his hands back under Adam’s shirt, “But yes. Maybe my room would be better”

   
~*~

 

It didn’t take that long at all until they were in Sauli’s bed, Adam thrusting violently into Sauli while Sauli’s legs were tight around his waist. His hands roamed all over Adam’s body. 

They had to pull the bed further away from wall to keep it from banging against it.

Adam’s hand was covering Sauli’s mouth because Sauli just couldn’t stay quiet with Adam's cock thrusting into him so hard.

Adam himself had to grit his teeth to stay as quiet as possible. Small and quiet noises were escaping all the time but no one would hear them. Hopefully.

There was something so utterly passionate in their lovemaking now.

Of course it’s always passionate but the fight against the moans and gasps made it so intense.

Sauli wanted to tell Adam how freaking sexy he looked. How fucking hot he was fucking him so hard and keeping him quiet with his hand, and how the sweat drops on his face and neck made him look even hotter.

God.

Sauli tried to message Adam he needed him to touch him. His cock was hard and curved between them and he needed his release.

Adam slipped his other hand between them and started stroking him so fast and good Sauli had to really fight against the moaning.

He came hard and intensively between them, his cum splattering long way up his chest.

His muscles contracted, squeezing Adam’s cock.

Sauli knew that face. Adam’s face was so tensed and his thrusts were erratic, he knew Adam was close to his own orgasm.

Adam shuddered, the tiniest moan escaping as his mouth went slack when he came, his powerful orgasm taking over his whole body.

His hand dropped from Sauli’s mouth and he collapsed on Sauli’s sticky body.

Sauli wrapped his arms around him and breathed hard, nosing the side of his neck.

“Baby, you’re trembling” He whispered, stroking Adam’s back.

“I’m fine" Adam panted, "That was just so- Wow. That was-“

“Abso-fucking-lutely the best sex ever” Sauli finished, panting as well. 

Adam agreed and started to pull off.

“Hold onto the condom” Sauli reminded gently.

Adam grabbed the end of the condom and pulled off, rolling it off his twitching cock.

Sauli reached for the nightstand and grabbed a tissue so Adam could wrap the condom inside of it and toss it in the trash can. 

After disposing it, Adam wiped Sauli’s abdomen with a clean tissue and slumped on the bed next to him.

Sauli cuddled up to him and kissed his erected nipple. 

“ _Rakas_ ” Sauli said, kissing Adam’s cheek as well.

“You too” Adam smiled.

 

♥♥♥

 

In the morning Sauli woke Adam up with a gentle kiss.

“Merry Christmas, baby” He whispered. 

Adam smiled tiredly and looked at Sauli. Sauli can’t understand how his eyes are always so beautiful. Even when he has just woken up.

“Merry Christmas” Adam smiled, stretching his arms, “What shall we do today then?”

Sauli straddled his body and kissed the tip of his nose.

“Something that I do every year in here. Traditions. You’ll see”

“Do we go to the dark steamy room naked and beat each other with branches?” Adam asked with an amused frown, making Sauli laugh.

“Is that what they’ve told you?" he asked, chuckling, "I promise, it’s much more pleasant than it sounds like. But no branches, I promise” Sauli said, cupping Adam’s face and kissed him deeply and lovingly.

“Oh, and the Santa’s hot line is on TV the whole morning” Sauli said after pulling away. 

“Come again?” 

"Yeah, I'd be confused too" Sauli said, "Breakfast?"

Adam nodded with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is up in a few days because I had to split this chapter in two because it would've been too long. Maybeeee on Saturday :)


	23. All I want for Christmas 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was quick because this was part of the previous chapter.

The general hanging out made Adam feel a little outsider since he didn’t understand the conversations that were going on.

But eing with Sauli made it all better. Just to be able to keep him close on the couch even if he didn’t know what was even the topic of the conversation Sauli had with his sisters.

Sauli had his hand on Adam’s thigh all the time. It was just a small, not-sexual, touch but it made Adam feel a lot more comfortable.

When Sauli’s sisters went to the kitchen to help their mom, Sauli turned his attention to Adam.

“You bored?”

Adam shook his head as no.

Sauli gave him a face.

“It’s okay to admit it. I’d be bored too” He said and took Adam’s hand, squeezing it a little, “We can go to sauna soon. I suggested we go first since it’s new to you and it won't be that hot then”

Adam nodded, attempting a smile. 

“You seem almost excited” Sauli smiled, which made Adam chuckle.

It’s not that he’s bored. Everything is just new and a little overwhelming. He never thought he’d be able to spend Christmas with anyone like this. His family has celebrated both Christmas and Hannukah but Adam doesn't really have that much happy memories from the past few years.

Sauli got up from the couch and pulled Adam up, smiling at him in a seductive way that went straight to Adam’s pants.

“I forbid you to feel low now” Sauli smiled, pulling Adam with him into his room.

Sauli locked it just in case. He doesn’t need anyone to run in while he’s going down on his boyfriend.

Locking the door always means something, Adam knew it too. When Sauli locked his eyes with Adam, he met the predatory eyes he sees in bed every time.

Sauli nudged Adam on the bed and didn’t waste a second to jump on him.

Their lips met in a strong kiss but it didn’t last longer than maybe ten seconds. Sauli moved his lips on Adam’s jaw, going down to his neck and pulled the collar of his shirt lower to suck on his collarbone.

"Take this off" Sauli hissed, tugging on Adam's shirt.

Adam sat up enough for Sauli to remove his shirt, then he lay back down.

Sauli ran his hands down Adam sides to his hips, holding on to them while trailing his lips down his stomach.

Adam lift his pelvis as Sauli pulled down his loose jeans. They came off easily since they weren't skin tight. 

"You're gonna blow me in your parents' house?" Adam asked, his voice hoarse.

"If you be nice and quiet" Sauli replied, teasing Adam's cock with his fingertip, running it along the lump in the briefs.

Adam hissed, his hips bucking up against the sensible contact.

Sauli smiled, dipping his fingers under the dark grey elastics of Adam's briefs and pulled them down his ankles. Adam kicked them off his feet.

"Such a gorgeous sight" Sauli sighed, stroking the insides of Adam's thighs, "Spread your legs for me"

Adam did, giving more room to Sauli.

"Quiet now" Sauli whispered, leaning down to meet the hardening flesh.

He flickered his tongue out to taste, making Adam hiss at the light contact he felt on his sensitive flesh.

He willed himself to stay quiet when Sauli wrapped his lips around the head, his hands pumping the still exposed shaft.

Adam dropped his other hand down, holding Sauli's head as he bobbed it up and down on his erected cock.

He didn't try to control his speed or how deep he takes him, he just wanted to hold it. Play with his hair and such.

Adam was not the only one who wanted to moan. Sauli _loves_ getting Adam off, especially with his mouth. He can feel the veins pulse on his tongue and taste Adam's personal flavor.

Sauli pulled off for a few seconds to breathe properly but kept stroking his shaft. 

Adam opened his eyes to look down, seeing Sauli's lips all red and swollen already. His cock twitched in appreciation.

Sauli took him back in, this time letting Adam's cock sink further and further into his hot, wet mouth.

Adam bit back a moan when Sauli deep-throated him. Adam's chest moved fast due to his pants, feeling over-whelmed by the hug of Sauli's throat.

It wasn't long until Sauli pulled away or he would've gagged. He left the head in his mouth and massaged the pleasure spot under it with his tongue because he knew Adam loves it.

Adam's hips flew off the bed, his breath hitching sharply.

"Shh" Sauli hushed, pressing his hips against the bed and kept tonguing the spot, slowly moving to flicker it over the very tip.

Adam had to press his hand against his mouth when Sauli stimulated the tip of his cock. Pressing gentle kisses, rubbing it against his lips and licking it.

Sauli felt the familiar taste appear on his tongue in small amount, little sweet and a little salty. _Adam_.

It boosted him. He grabbed Adam's legs and threw them over his shoulders, took the length back into his mouth as far as he could and started sucking.

Adam grasped the sheets, his knuckles turning white as he clutched them. 

He felt the blood rush in his body violently, his cock throbbing in Sauli's mouth and he felt like he was still getting harder. 

The suction was driving him over the edge fast.

"S-Sauli,,,I'm gonna-"

Sauli pulled off, releasing Adam's cock with a wet pop and watched as it stood on its own. The dark-ish ginger hair framing it beautifully.

Sauli gave it a long lick from Adam's balls to the tip of his now reddish cock. The taste was more sharp and strong at the slit where it had gathered.

Sauli lapped on the head the way Adam liked it and collected the moisture with his tongue.

"Please..."

"I know" Sauli whispered, his lips back around the hot flesh in seconds.

He let Adam thrust his hips in small movements as he sucked him, precum dribbling into his mouth. Sauli really loved tasting him. He sped up, showing no signs of tired jaw though he had one.

He has to keep his mouth widely open because Adam is… Well, not average sized.

His hand gently fondled Adam's balls and rubbed the area behind them, Adam fighting against his moaning.

Adam became tense, his toes curling and his jaw was clenched as the heat kept coiling somewhere low in his belly, his balls drawing up closer to his body.

Sauli knew he was close so he pulled off a little, leaving only the head in his mouth.

It still got him off guard when Adam's cum flooded into his mouth, first just a small shot before a few stronger spurts. 

He pulled away, swallowing his prize while pumping Adam's shaft to milk every last drop out of him. 

Adam slumped on the bed, his legs falling off Sauli's shoulders and his fists loosening their tight grip on the sheets.

Sauli kissed all the cum off his softening and twitching cock before crawling up, planting kisses all the way up his chest before capturing Adam's mouth to a kiss.

Adam made a noise of displeasure, gently pushing Sauli off.

"What? It's just you" Sauli smiled, licking his lips, “Mmm”

"It's not bad, just new" Adam said but Sauli kissed him again, exchanging the taste. He hummed a bit, pulling Sauli closer this time. 

"You want too?" Adam asked, squeezing Sauli's ass in his palms.

"Later. This was for you since you were so anxious" Sauli beamed, getting up.

He grabbed Adam's briefs and handed them to him.

"Dress up. We need to return to them or they'll guess" He said and walked at the mirror to adjust his hair that Adam had messed up.

Adam started putting his clothes back on. He smirked when he saw the bulge in Sauli's pants.

It's so weird to think he is the one who affects him that way. Considering he doesn't see anything attractive in his reflection.

After dressing up he walked to Sauli and hugged his smaller body from behind.

"You know... It doesn't matter how you put your hair because you have a raging hard-on and swollen lips"

Sauli grinned and leaned against Adam's body.

"Give me something that's not sexy"

"Your grandmother naked? Ice cold water?"

Sauli nodded thoughtfully, focusing on those pictures briefly to fight against his arousal.

"Me fucking you? You fucking me with me on my hands and knees? Me on my knees sucking your cock?"

Sauli glared Adam through the mirror.

"Not fair"

Adam chuckled and turned Sauli around and pushed him against the wall next to the mirror.

"I might as well take care of it and not be a selfish dick" He said as he sank down, "I'll be fast"

 

♥♥♥

 

The sauna turned out to be quite great and an intimate experience. The sauna building was outside, Sauli said it's a whole another atmosphere to have it out than use the one that's inside.

And they have more privacy.

The backdoor faced the forest where no one could see them so it was good to cool down on the back porch from time to time.

They had bathrobes on when they stood outside, Sauli hugging Adam's body to share their warmth.

"You know what I used to do as a kid?" Sauli asked, breaking the silence.

"Hm?"

Sauli stripped off his bathrobe and pushed it into Adam's hands and hopped in the cold snow.

"Are you crazy!?" Adam squealed, watching Sauli like he was a complete maniac.

His balls showed their sympathy by snugging even closer to his body.

"Not really" Sauli beamed, getting back up and opened Adam's bathrobe, snuggling close to his naked body.

Adam shrieked,

"You're so cold!"

Sauli giggled and hugged him while Adam wrapped the robe around him too.

"I like this better. We could wear a shared robe" Sauli said but Adam disagreed. He handed Sauli his own bathrobe.

He was already cold enough and he didn't need Sauli's icy body clung onto him. 

"You're no fun" Sauli pouted, sliding his own bathrobe back on.

"I'm freezing!" Adam declared, "I swear I could barely see my dick"

"I bet it's still there" Sauli smiled, his hand wandering again but Adam slapped it away.

Sauli chuckled and took Adam's hand instead, pulling him inside.

The dressing room felt warm but it was way better in the sauna. After dropping their bathrobes on the bench, they stepped into the hot and dim room.

They got on the highest level, sitting so close Sauli threw his leg over Adam's thigh.

"Is this as creepy as you thought?"

"No" Adam chuckled, his fingers playing in the longer hair on top of Sauli's head, "Quite nice actually"

Sauli smiled.

"Good"

Adam closed his eyes and focused on everything he felt. Warmth around him and Sauli’s hot body against his skin.

Sauli traced his fingers on Adam's stomach which made Adam open his eyes briefly.

"How's your stomach?"

"It's fine. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Just asked" Sauli said, wrapping his arm around Adam's middle.

Adam wanted to ask why but let it go. He has already learned Sauli worries about him.

"Since we're in this subject again. The dinner- How's-?"

"Shh" Sauli hushed gently, "Don't worry about it, baby. Don't put so much weight on it. We enjoy the dinner and you say when you're full and that's it"

Adam sighed.

"I know. I just don't wanna seem rude by always refusing when your mother offers me something to eat. This fucking schedule sucks" Adam said, hint of annoyance in his tone made Sauli frown sadly.

He didn't really know what to say to soothe him.

"It's just temporary"

"It's forever. It sure feels like it" Adam huffed.

Sauli pulled away from Adam and looked at the emotions written on his face. He brushed his hand over Adam's cheek and turned his head.

"Somehow I feel you are not as over this problem as you let me understand"

"I'm sorry. Most of the time I feel good. Happy even. But as soon as I'm alone or about to go to sleep all the demons just scream in my head... The same things they've had for years" Adam said in a quiet tone, his eyes sparkling in the dim light of the room.

Sauli looked at him understandingly.

"You know what I found from the bathroom? A fucking scale" Adam chuckled, but it was all bitter and sad. 

"Fuck, I'm sorry" Sauli groaned, running his hand down his face, "Fuck I should have known it was there. Did you...?"

"No" Adam said right away, "I stared at it for like... Five minutes. Then I just rushed out because I didn't want to know"

Sauli pressed his head on Adam's shoulder and hugged him comfortingly.

"Your sister passed me in the hallway, called me timid and jumpy" Adam smiled, "And perfect for her brother"

Sauli smiled and kissed Adam's sweaty shoulder.

"That's what you are"

"I'm far from perfect" Adam mumbled.

"You are perfect" Sauli whispered, kissing his cheek, "To me"

It made Adam smile. He'd like to fight back but he didn't do it this time. Sauli took his hand and started to pull him down from the level with him.

Adam thought he had a mischievous smile on his face so he carefully stepped down and followed him to the dressing room.

But Sauli didn't give him his bathrobe.

" _Maassa maan tavalla_ " He said.

"What?" Adam chuckled, confused and totally not understanding.

"When in Finland do as the Finns do" Sauli beamed, pulling Adam outside and Adam knew right on that second what was going on in that evil little mind of his.

"Sauli, no"

"Adam, yes" Came the reply, "Just 5 seconds"

Adam shook his head frantically.

"Try to escape me" Sauli said, but his hands were already around Adam, no hope for him to run away.

The situation ended to shrieking, screaming and laughing in the snow like fucking kids.

 

♥♥♥

 

The dinner wasn't as scary as Adam first thought it would be.  
The food was good and he had a chance to choose what to eat. When Sauli’s mother wanted him to try something he did but refused when he felt full.

Sauli was there for him.

But the time after the dinner or any other eating even bites him in the ass every time.

Sauli tried to keep his mind off it.

"Have you thought about that tattoo?"

Adam's eyes flew to Sauli with a hopeful glow.

"Yes. You think your friend would do it?"

Sauli shrugged, stroking Adam's hair,

"She would break the law. But I did ask her. She said she has to think about it. She does not have a job right now so it wouldn't risk that, at least"

Adam turned on his stomach though his insides protested and looked at Sauli directly in the eyes.

"It's small and would be hidden under my pants. No one would see it besides me and you"

"It's still her decision" Sauli said, "But we can go back to Helsinki tomorrow and see her"

"Oh please please please" Adam beamed, hugging Sauli's body tight.

Sauli chuckled and hugged him back. How could he refuse anything from this adorable human being?

"Maybe she'll do it. But you need to be absolutely sure" Sauli pressured, "It must be something you won't regret"

Adam rolled his eyes and poked Sauli's side, making him laugh.

"I'm almost 18. I know that tattoo is forever"

"I know you do"

"It's not a pic of a dick and not your name. It's something I drew myself" Adam said, rolling on his back and raised the hem of his shirt a bit and pulled the waistband of his pants lower, "It would come here" He told and pointed at the area where he wanted the tattoo.

Sauli stroked his thumb over his hipbone.

"It might hurt a little. So close to the bone"

"I know. But I'm ready for it. I want it"

Sauli smiled. At least Adam has decided and has thought it through. 

"Can I see the photo you've drawn?"

"I would like you to see it when it's on my skin" Adam said, "If that's okay"

Sauli nodded, resting his head on Adam's shoulder while still feeling his skin. He remembers when he took his first tattoo. He was enthusiastic about it.

He ended up getting a whole sleeve.

"Boys" and a knock knock.

"Oh, my mother learnt do knock" Sauli smiled and waited until Adam zipped his pants with a noticeable struggle and lowered his shirt back down, "Come in"

Sauli's mother opened the door and gave them a gentle smile.

"The presents"

"In a second" Sauli smiled and she left without further words. 

Adam got up and unzipped his pants again,

"I need to change these off. These are brutal on my waist now"

"Sure. No rush" Sauli said, getting up from his comfortable spot.

Adam changed into his sweats before they left the room to join others who were waiting in the living room. They sat on the couch like they always did.

"My present for you,,, It's in LA. You get it there, 'kay?" Sauli asked whispering.

Adam smiled and nodded.

He felt something tug on his pant leg. He looked down and saw Sauli's nephew looking at him with his big eyes, pacifier in his mouth.

He was cooing, almost climbing up Adam's leg. Adam giggled and cooed some nonsense back at him.

"He likes you. Wants in your arms" Sauli's sister said smoothly in English.

"I have never held baby" Adam said right away, "I don't think I-"

"Go for it" Sauli encouraged and tapped his thigh.

Adam leaned down and took a hold of the small and fragile body, lifting him up. He became happy right away, smiling at Adam and kicking with his legs.

"So cute" Adam chuckled, "And so small. Knows nothing about the cruelty of the world"

"True" Sauli agreed, leaning against Adam's side and adored his nephew.

Adam decided if he ever has kids, he's ready to do anything to make them feel happy and loved. Nobody deserves the life he lived.

 

♥♥♥

 

"Your mom's going to kill me" Sauli mumbled when he watched Adam get on the tattoo table. 

"She won't" Adam said, lowering his pants enough to show his hip to the artist. He did his best to keep his 'ugly' scars covered.

The artist's name was Sini.

When she came back with her supplies, Adam took a deep breath.

He's really going to do this.

"Will it hurt?"

Adam's voice was so small it made Sini smile a bit.

"Yes, most likely. How much though, it depends on you. People are different. This is your first tattoo?"

Adam nodded, watching as the purple lines staid on his skin after the paper was removed from it.

"Who designed it?"

"Me. It's very personal for me"

She nodded, understanding.

"It's gorgeous"

"Thank you"

Sauli grabbed Adam's hand and squeezed it to encourage him.

"Okay, I'll start now. Remember to breathe"

Adam felt the first sharp contact and it made him grimace at first.

"I am so dead when Leila finds out" Sauli said again.

"You? I don't know her but I assume she's the mother. I bet she'll come and find me first" Sini joked, still focusing on her task.

"She won't find out! Stop freaking" Adam firmly informed and gestured down, "It's so low"

Sini just laughed but Sauli didn't. Luckily Adam turns 18 soon. Then they could get matching tattoos.

If Adam wants to.

"Does it hurt?" Sini asked when she saw Adam squeeze Sauli's hand in the corner of her eye. 

"A bit... But it's fine"

"You don't have much body fat here. But don't worry, this won't take too long" She soothed.

Adam nodded. He can bear this.

~*~  
 

It took a little less than hour. Adam was checking the result from the mirror.

"Wow. It looks so good" He said in awe, "It has everything I needed in it. Hope and love"

Sini smiled and was happy she did her task well.

"It was my pleasure" She said, "Come. Let's do the finishing touches"

Adam followed Sini to where she went.

"You can stand. I put some ointment on your tattoo and cover it up. Leave it on for a few hours and remember to put lotion on the tattoo. I'll give you the instructions on a paper"

"Okay"

Sauli watched as Sini smeared the ointment on Adam's tattoo and covered it to protect it from bacteria.

The excitement was clear on Adam's face and Sauli knew he made the right decision when he called Sini. Sini gave Adam a hug and handed him the tattoo care instructions paper.

"Feel free to ask me to do more tattoos in the future" She said and hugged Sauli as well.

Adam put on his cardigan and jacket while they exchanged a few words in Finnish.

"Now we need to go. We'll see my friends before we go back to the States" Sauli informed and put on his own jacket.

"It was good to meet you. Bye!" Sini yelled after them when they left. They waved back and stepped into the cold weather.

"So" Sauli started, grabbing Adam's hand in his, "When shall you present that tattoo to me?"

Adam chuckled.

"As soon as I remove the cover. But what shall we do now?"

Sauli seemed to think about it while they walked a few meters.

"Ice skating?"

"No! I still have bruises on my ass. I don’t want more"

"When in Finland" Sauli started but Adam pulled him close to his body and continued;

"Do as the fucking Californians do"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it wasn't deadly boring ._. In the next chap they return to LA. What is Sauli's present and what does the agency plan for his birthday?  
> Update in a few weeks.


	24. Lovely secrets, dreams and talents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giddiness, little bit of angstiness :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not fully satisfied with this chapter. Hope you like it though.

"It's pretty..." Sauli sighed, trailing his finger near the tattoo on Adam's hip.

Adam smiled.

There was a picture of a beautifully drawn note, Latin word for ‘hope’ written on the note head and a few flames surrounding the whole note.

"Thanks. I spent a long time drawing it" Adam said, holding his shirt up and pushed the waistband of his pants a little lower as much as he could while Sauli admired the art work.

Sauli touched the edges of it and traced his finger down the line of the tattoo that went lower than Adam was able to reveal with his pants on.

“Those flames form an ‘S’” Sauli whispered, looking up at Adam, “Explain?”

“I know what you think. And it doesn’t matter if there ever comes a day when we’re not together because still,,, I will always be thankful for you for saving my life. As cliché as it sounds but it’s true. Not only for pushing the negative thoughts out of my head but also for saving me from a serious eating disorder" Adam explained and gave a gentle look at Sauli, "Besides, I wanted the flames to surround the note so they automatically formed the letter ‘S’” Adam quietly told him and for a moment Sauli thought his heart is going to flip out of his chest.

Just to think that Adam has a part of him on his skin forever is just… Wow. He doesn’t really have words to describe how it makes him feel.

"But I still wonder what are we doing in a plane bathroom" Adam said then, looking around, "Someone could see we are here together"

Sauli snorted, pulling Adam's shirt back down.

"I don't think so. But if you want I can go out first" He smiled and pecked Adam on the lips, “Or we could just fuck since we’re already here and join the Mile high club”

“Don’t you have any sort of control?” Adam teased.

“Not around you, no” Sauli beamed, his hands attacking Adam’s belt and making a quick work opening it. He unzipped the pants and pushed his hand inside the inviting fly before Adam could utter a word, “It seems I’m not the only one who’s sort of turned on about the idea”

Adam bit back a groan as Sauli pulled his half hard cock out of his pants and stroked it teasingly slowly. He hates how easily Sauli gets to him.

No matter how hard he’d tell his dick to calm down it would still be pointing towards the fucking ceiling in seconds, begging to be inside Sauli’s hot body or in his wonderful wet mouth.

He pushed Sauli’s hands off his cock and turned the smaller body around in one swift move.

“Fuck, huh? Then we’ll do it quick, hard and my way” Adam whispered huskily and reached into Sauli’s chest pocket, knowing he keeps a small tube of lube there, “I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll feel it for the rest of week”

Sauli was already pushing his own pants lower and as soon as they were down, he felt Adam press up against his back, his cock snug against his ass.

He won’t admit how much he loves that feeling. To feel Adam’s arousal so close and hot and all for him.

Oh, yeah. This might the best flight ever. They heard a ‘bling’ sound.

_Dear passengers, we’ll be soon landing in Los Angeles LAX airport. Please return to your seats and buckle up your seatbelts. We hope you had a nice journey and you’ll be flying with us again. Thank you_

“Oh, you’re kidding me” Sauli groaned. Such a bad timing. Such a horrible timing.

Adam took a hold of his cock and rubbed the head against Sauli’s crack and especially near his hole.

Sauli squeezed the sink he was holding and counted to ten in his mind. Fuck.

“Too bad” Adam murmured, grabbing his cock and pressed it against his own stomach, then let go so it smacked Sauli right on the ass, making them both, especially Sauli, groan. The sound Adam made was more of a hiss.

He pressed his lips agains't Sauli's ear and whispered;

“You know baby,,, I promise I’ll fuck you when we get home. We don’t leave the bed the whole night"

Sauli turned around to face him.

“You are so hot when you get all bossy and possessive. You promise that?”

“I promise” Adam smiled but there was a small smirk underneath.

He locked their lips together, bodies pressed close, their cocks rubbing against each other.

“Perfect. I like that idea” Sauli murmured. He definitely liked that idea.

 

♥♥♥

 

But at home, Sauli’s work phone was full of unread messages, missed calls and voice mails. He got so stressed because of all the work that had piled during his Christmas holiday he couldn’t do nothing but start working on them.  
And it continued for a few days.

Still after those few days Sauli was still drowning in his work. Adam wanted to give him the time he needs with his work and used his own spare time in the attic, trying the recording and mixing and such.

But at one point, Adam was honestly starting to lose his temper. He gets that Sauli has a lot of work to do but fuck, could he even look at Adam in that loving, teasing way he always does no matter what Adam is doing.

And he needed Sauli. Maybe he gets days when he just needs someone to show some care and love because he isn't really over his insecurities and weird thoughts of not being good enough for Sauli or anyone else either. Also there was that whole bulimia recovery too, so.

All he needed was some cuddling or a gentle touch. Or something more. He’d be fine with anything.

Since Sauli was finally working on their bed, laptop on his lap, Adam decided to get on the bed and crawl to him.

He didn’t say anything, just snuggled Sauli’s side.

Sauli didn’t mind, he actually smiled a bit. But when Adam grabbed his laptop and moved it on the nightstand, started to kiss Sauli’s neck and whisper all sort of things, Sauli pushed him away.

"Bunny, I really need to work” He said firmly.

Adam sat on the mattress on his heels and pouted.

“Honestly, Adam. I have more important things to do right now” Sauli said, reaching out to take his laptop again.

Well, that felt sharp. 

“’More important’, huh?” Adam quietly repeated, small huff of disbelief escaping his lips, “Well, feel free to spend your night or maybe even rest of the week with those things” Adam snapped, getting down from the bed before Sauli could say a word.

“Oh, and one more thing” He said the threshold, “I will sleep in the quest room. I’m not that important anyway” And then he left.

Sauli punched himself in his head, three times right then and there, and continuously during the night when Adam wasn’t sleeping next to him.

He shouldn’t bring work and his relationship too close to each other because this is what happens.

He never ever meant that his work was more important than _Adam_ , more of like,,, In _that_ moment his work was more important than their sex.

 

♥

 

"Morning beautiful" Sauli smiled, stepping into the dining room where Adam was already drinking his morning coffee.

"Morning" Adam replied, allowing Sauli to peck him on the lips. His anger winded down a little during the night.

It still stung him to think how Sauli refused to be with him last night but Sauli seems to be in a better mood today already. So is he.

"I was thinking of taking you into a spa on New Year's Eve"

Adam wanted to roll his eyes and keep pouting but that wouldn’t help anything. He might as well learn to discuss things. 

"A spa? Seriously? Isn't that like what husbands should give to their wives?" Adam asked, putting a slice of cheese into his mouth.

Sauli huffed and sat down across Adam with his coffee cup.

"It's sort of private event to us. We’ll be alone. And we stay the night in the hotel there" He said smiling and watched Adam roll his eyes but he could tell he liked the idea.

Adam started smiling while staring at his own coffee. 

"You totally spoil me" He snickered.

"I don't" Sauli insisted, getting up and walked to the other side of the table and wrapped his arms around Adam from behind, "I just love you" He whispered, kissing Adam's neck, "And I don't know how to deal with myself because you make me so crazy" He murmured, kissing Adam's neck again. And again.

Adam giggled and held onto his arms.

"And I'm sorry I was cranky last night. I was just so stressed" Sauli said then.

Adam nodded understandingly.

"I know. It's fine"

Sauli tightened his hold.

"But I shouldn't have put it on you. You were trying to be nice and relax me but I refused you and on top of that I snapped at you. My work is important but fuck, it’s never more important to me than you are"

Adam stroked Sauli's arms in a soothing way.

"I think those situations belong into every relationship. I didn't take that personally" He said. 

Sauli kissed him once more and returned to sit on his own chair. He grabbed a sandwich from the plate and took a bite.

"Probably one day you might be able to annoy me so much I don't wanna talk to you or even see your face, and I'll do the same to you, I'm sure. I just hope you didn't think I didn't want because of-"

"Baby, forget it. I know you were busy and stressed about the piled work" Adam said, finishing his coffee and got up from his chair.

Sauli bit his lip as he watched his ass in those tight black briefs. Not to talk about that package. _Damn_.

How could he say no to that?

Jesus, his morning wood is even more prominent now. He followed Adam into the kitchen and stepped right behind him when Adam rinsed his mug.

Adam turned around and was taken by a surprise when Sauli stood almost on his toes.

"Gosh, warn me next time"

"I like surprising you" Sauli beamed, cupping Adam through his underwear.

"I see that" Adam croaked out and tried to tell his dick to calm down because he knows that face. Sauli is just teasing him.

But Adam can do that too.

While Sauli was beaming at him, Adam’s face turned more smug and he rolled his hips, pushing his dick into Sauli's hand more firmly.

"You didn't want it last night so you can't have it now either because I have other things to do" Adam said and pushed Sauli's hand off his bulge and turned towards the counter top.

Sauli gasped and was left mouth gaping open. He crossed his arms in disbelief.

"You are denying me?"

"Yes" Adam beamed, walking out of the kitchen. Sauli could not do anything but follow him to their bedroom where Adam went.

Adam went to his bag and started to search for something.

"What exactly is 'other things'?" Sauli asked as he watched Adam put on his loose tank top and a pair of sweats.

"Exercising. I need to kick my digestive system going"

Sauli nodded,

"So a jog or...?"

Adam shrugged.

"You could try pilates. It's not that exhausting physically but good for your core and legs and helps the fexibility" Sauli suggested and Adam gave him a face, almost like reading him.

"You want me to do pilates because it strengthens my muscles meaning makes my ass even more full?"

Sauli laughed, walking closer to Adam and grabbed his bum.

"Nah, your ass is already so nice"

"So is yours" Adam smirked, squeezing Sauli's firm cheek briefly.

Sauli wiggled his eyebrows,

"I got mine firm with ice skating. You should try it some more"

Adam shook his head as no. Maybe, maybe next time they're in Finland during the Winter but he'd like to see the summer as well so maybe that won’t happen anytime soon.

"I think I just take a jog" Adam said while he plugged his earphones in his Ipod, "You come with me?"

"Nah. I still have some work to do. I'll probably get them done before you come back. Finally" Sauli sighed.

Adam nodded, putting his Ipod into his pocket after turning the music on.

"Okay. See you later then" He smiled, pecking Sauli loudly on the lips.

"Bye" Sauli smiled after he pulled away.

After Adam left, Sauli glanced at Fluffie who was shaking his tail at him.

"What?"

Fluffie whined.

“Fiiine. I’ll take you out”

 

♥♥♥

Excluding going to the agency on a daily basis, Sauli hasn’t left the house at all due to his paper work. Adam realized that when he was planning to make them both some dinner but there weren’t that much ingredients.

“Hey, I go buy some stuff. We’re running out of pretty much everything” Adam informed Sauli who just hummed as a response.

Adam rolled his eyes. He’d been bored to death if Sauli just sits in his work room with a laptop and piles of papers. Sauli said he’d be done soon but seems like he isn’t so Adam might as well step out of his way.

He left the room and didn’t even hear Sauli whine after him about not giving him a kiss like he normally does.

Adam grabbed his own wallet, wanting to pay himself since he finally can afford to it. He put on his beanie because his hair wasn’t done, pulled on his new comfy Rick Owen boots which didn’t have any heel. Kind of sneaker-like boots.

They fit well with his jeans and leather jacket.

He called a cab since Sauli didn’t live that close to the city. He stopped at the first grocery store, paid the cab and entered the shop.

Oh boy did he feel domestic while pushing the cart through the aisles and collecting everything they needed in the cart.

While reaching _that_ aisle, he couldn’t help glancing around before grabbing a packet of condoms.

“Well, look who’s here. Isn’t that the cocksucker who left high school” Adam heard someone say somewhere near him.

He glanced to his right and saw the idiots who became familiar with him in high school. They weren't as bad as they could have been, Adam was thankful for that, but words still hurt. Sometimes even more than physical injuries. 

“Condoms, huh? What are you doing with them since you’re already dirty?”

Adam took a deep breath and turned fully towards the group of three, not remembering the name for any of them.

Adam just laughed his comment off,

“You know guys, I recommend you to get a life. And yes, cock is very delicious, also yes, I like to get it up in the ass and I like to fuck a nice piece of ass” He said casually, reading through his shopping list to see if he got everything.

Due to the silence around him, he was sure he surprised the group with his remarks. He didn’t usually fight back that much.

“Figured that much” The biggest guy said then.

“Oh good” Adam beamed, pushing his cart through them, “Now if you excuse me, I’m busy. I need to get back home to suck some cock” He said and exhaled after being far enough from them.

He made his way to the cash desk and rushed out of the shop after collecting his stuff to two shopping bags.

He almost thought he made it but suddenly he was pulled into an alley behind him.

Who else he could have faced but the three idiots? This time there was also a tiny girl standing beside them, looking more than just a little worried.

She seemed to be the leader’s girl.

“You know what, fag? You may think you’re tough and all but you’re not, not against us. Besides, I heard rumors. Those made me realize it was you who always threw up in the men’s bathroom at school” He said.

“Stop it, Mike” The girl said, a warning clear in her tone because she saw how deep he cut Adam with this words.

Mike, it seemed, wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

“See this babe? This is what you're missing on while you fuck those guys” He said, referring to his girlfriend, “I mean Sauli is cool. But fuck, he could have anyone. Why would he choose you?” He asked, then he made a small movement with his head as a sign to his two friends.

Adam took a few steps backwards, dropping his bags on the ground.

He was grabbed by the collar of his jacket and before he managed to really understand what was happening, he got a fist against his temple.

On that very second he felt he was let go by the other guy and he crouched on the ground, holding his temple.

“What the hell is your fucking problem?” The girl asked loudly, jerking out of Mike’s grip, “Get the fuck out of here I don’t wanna see any of you ever again!”

“But…”

“Now! Yes, I am dumping you" She said, looking up at her now ex-boyfriend.

Adam almost chuckled. This small sized girl had more authority power than he did since all the guys walked off.

The girl turned back to Adam.

“You okay?”

“As good as I could be after getting hit” Adam said, already trying to get up but the girl didn’t let him.

“Here, let me help” She said and reached into Adam’s shopping bag, pulling out a packet of frozen vegetables and pressed it against Adam’s temple, “I’m Alisan. Definitely the ex-girlfriend of that idiot now”

Adam chuckled.

“You don’t have to do that for me, you know?”

Alisan laughed, tapping Adam’s thigh as if to tell it’s fine, she would have done that anyway.

“Those guys are jerks. I honestly don’t know why I am, well, was, with Mike. You probably didn’t pay that much attention to me but I was in the same music class with you. We were supposed to do a project together but then you just disappeared. I thought you just dind’t want to do that project with me” Alisan said, chuckling a little because she sure still feels a bit like that. She had heard Adam sing in a class before and she really wanted to do the project with her.

Adam tried to remember her,

“Oh! You felt pity on me because nobody wanted to do that project with me” Adam said, remembering it now all too clearly.

He pressed his own hand against the frozen vegetable bag so Alisan could let go.

“I wanted to do it with you. I just knew you’d be perfect because you could sing so well and you knew everything about falsettos and chest voices and all this stuff. I was disappointed when you didn’t come to the class anymore”

“Sorry” Adam said, taking the cold bag off his temple and put it back into his bag, “I got so tired with those idiots. I’m not planning to return in high school anytime soon"

Alisan bit her lip,

“That's not a wonder. You seem to be doing quite well with the manager of Sunny Stars”

Adam sighed, getting up. Since he’s polite he reached out his hand for Alisan and she got up too.

“Yeah. I’m doing good in my life now, in general. Mostly. Despite of the fact that I have a nasty bruise on my temple and I need a ride home, I’m doing okay”

Alisan gave him a small smile.

“I could drive you if you need a ride. That’s the least I can do after Mike’s friend punched you”

Adam smiled back at her. Not widely, not that genuine but he did. He felt she could be a nice person if he got to know her better.

Adam nodded, approving the suggestion.

“Good. Let’s go then” Alisan smiled, grabbing Adam’s other shopping bag and lead him to her car.

 

♥♥♥

 

Sauli has left 5 messages, 5 calls and he's on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Adam doesn't reply, doesn't answer to his calls neither the messages.

All sorts of disturbing thoughts run through his mind every time he checks his phone and sees no calls or unread messages.

"Where the fuck are you" He mumbles to himself and runs his hands over his face.

He should know himself better by now and not let his loved ones leave while they’re mad or sad. He gets worried so fucking easily he knows it’s not always healthy.

But Adam was closer than he thought.

Sauli knew it only when he heard the doorbell ring. He stormed up from the couch and went straight to the door, running almost.

He didn't even look through the beep hole, just opened the door.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" He asked, little louder and angrier than probably necessary.

"Just... Out there" Adam said quietly, avoiding Sauli's eyes.

The situation reminded the first time Sauli brought Adam home. It's pouring rain and Adam is soaking wet.

Sauli pulled Adam inside by his hand and hugged him tight. He was standing on his toes, fingers tangled in Adam's wet hair.

"Well, thank God you're here now. I was worried sick"

Sauli pulled away and frowned as he only got a hum for response.

"You're still mad at me?"

Adam shrugged.

Sauli pulled Adam into the big hall and took off his jacket. It was leather so it wasn't soaking wet.

He wanted to apologize Adam again but that can wait for now.

"You're freezing. At least change into some dry clothes. I get you some hot tea and take these into the kitchen" Sauli gently said and tapped Adam's hip before going to the kitchen with the shopping bags Adam brought.

Adam made his way to their bedroom and stripped off his wet clothes, cursing when he got tangled in his shirt.

He went into the bathroom and leaned against the sink, his smudged make up running down his cheeks.

He should remove it. He should remove all the make-up the rain hasn't yet washed away.

But he couldn't.

He turned away from his reflection before he'd punch his fist through the mirror. He backed up against the wall, letting his legs give in and he fell on the floor on his ass.

Sauli came into the bathroom, not really surprised to see Adam in such a condition but it still clenched his insides hard enough to hurt.

"Hey,,, What's wrong?" He asked, walking closer and crouched down before him. 

Adam just shook his head, clearly biting back tears.

"I know you" Sauli continued, stroking Adam's knees, "Tell me"

Adam let out a long, heavy breath.

"I just- They,,, the therapists and nurses said I should already feel better" Adam whispered, wiping his eyes, "But I don't- Why? Why I don't feel better?" He asked, his voice raw and heartbreakingly genuine.

"What'd you mean?" Sauli asked, rubbing the tops of Adam's knees. 

"You know, I'm still just as-"

"You're not" Sauli said right away, cupping Adam's face and lift his head, "You're beautiful"

"Like the internet says?" Adam asked, sarcasm clear in his voice. 

Alisan turned out to be a nice girl. They had a chat in a café on their way home but something always manages to ruin Adam’s good time. This time it was tabloids on the magazine racks next to the cash register.

Sauli sighed, pressing his forehead against Adam's.

"No. Take a hot shower. Then we'll talk" Sauli decided, letting go of Adam and got up. 

But Adam just sat there like a sad panda bear. He didn't look at Sauli, just stared at the floor.

Sauli frowned and crouched down before Adam again, pulling him into a hug and kissed his wet hair.

"What happened? You were supposed to be in a grocery store"

Adam clutched Sauli's body, 

"I was. You know I quit high school because it was full of idiots?"

"Yes. Bunny, what's going on?" Sauli asked, even more concerned now.

"I saw some of those idiots today. They caught me buying condoms and started telling why to bother since I'm already so disgusting. They respected you though, but not your choice of choosing me. And they... They know I'm a bulimia recover" Adam sobbed, pressing his head against Sauli's chest.

Sauli expected something worse. Violence or something like that, but Adam seemed so genuinely worried and upset about whatever they had said to him.

"Recovery tells pretty much about strength, baby. If they tell the media how you bought condoms at least people know we do it safe. _We_. Wipe your tears, honey, your pretty eyes become all red and swollen" Sauli smiled, pushing Adam's head off his chest and wiped his wet cheeks.

Adam smiled the slightest bit when Sauli rubbed the make up off his cheeks with his thumbs,

"That's better. Now come,,, I wanna show you just how much I love you" Sauli said gently, getting up and pulled Adam up as well, "Take this off first" He whispered, tugging on Adam's underwear.

Adam slid them off his legs and kicked them to the same pile where his other soaked clothes were.

"And just so you know... " Sauli said, pulling Adam out of the bathroom and lay him on the bed, "I was so stupid for drowning myself into my work and forgetting you. I promise baby, I work at day times from now on, not after hours. The nights are ours, I promise" Sauli whispered, kissing Adam gently on the lips. He did see the bruise on his face but he felt Adam might not want to talk about that, at least not yet.

“Make a wish” Sauli smiled, his tone gentle. He knows Adam should take a hot shower but maybe it can wait for a while.

Adam chuckled quietly and hugged Sauli tightly against his chest,

“Let me just hold you?”

Sauli nodded, smiling and snuggled to Adam’s side, pressing his head on his chest.

“Naked cuddling” Adam reminded, tugging on Sauli’s shirt, “You wear too much clothes”

 

♥♥♥

 

"We could all buy him something together" Scarlett suggested, "What does he like, Sauli?"

Sauli raised his head and thought about the question. Gosh, he’s tired. He spent the previous night cuddling with Adam and talking about everything.

At one point he almost slipped that the reason for his hard work at the agency has been the surprise for Adam’s birthday. He has done his paper work long time ago and the days at the agency went by planning the party and everything with his co-workers aka friends.

"He likes music, baths, massages, tattoos, singing, sex, blowjobs..."

"Woah, woah, woah" Brian grimaced, blocking his ears with his fingers, "No need to go that far. Something else"

Sauli rubbed his face and tried to figure out something they could get together.

"Well. I've seen Adam's wish list. He has written down things he wants in general, not just for his birthday. I think it's a secret list but I saw it accidentally when I was doing the laundry. He wants more tattoos. He got one while we were in Finland. We could get some gift card or something" He suggested and Tommy was into it right away.

"That's a good idea! Tattoos are rad, man. What shop?"

Nobody had time to say a thing until Tommy talked again;

"High Voltage Tattoo maybe" he said, others nodding thoughtfully, "The master herself could tattoo him"

"Kat? No way. She's too busy to have an appointment in two weeks" Lee knew and Sauli agreed. That's probably true.

"Where is Adam anyway?" Ashley asked.

"In my office, probably taking a nap"

"Dude, do you just let him be lazy whenever he wants to? We're a team and we all work here. I haven’t seen Adam in days and now when he’s here, he fucking sleeps" Brian ranted, making Sauli sigh.

In moments like this it would be so much easier if they knew even a little bit about Adam's physical condition. 

"I just follow doctor's orders, okay? End of discussion" Sauli said, frustrated at the continuous ranting he gets because of it.

Scarlett bit her lip and carefully slid herself into the discussion.

"Uhm I- I don't mean to be pushy or something but is Adam-"

"Fine. He's fine" Sauli said, calm yet firm, "But Adam needs rest. And me. And people who care about him. The birthday party would mean a lot to him. And I really, really wanna do this for him. Do guys know... How hard it is to watch a person who's afraid that no one genuinely cares?"

They all went quiet.

"I want him to feel the care and love he deserves. Let's make this big; The party, the gift, the surprise, everything. He needs this and he deserves it. All of it" Sauli said and smiled slightly, glancing each of his friends.

They all nodded.

"Don't worry. We take care of the party and Tommy can get the gift card. Brian can do the rest. You just make sure he'll come there" Scarlett said, pointing at Sauli.

Sauli nodded. Adam will be surprised and positively hopefully too. Sauli hit his hands against the surface of the table as if to say 'that's it. We'll do it'.

"I need to find Danielle somewhere. She used to be Adam's bestie but I haven't heard about her or seen her in a while" He said, really wondering where she has disappeared and why Adam doesn't talk to her.

"And Adam's mom rocks. She has to be there too" He added, "But guys, the meeting is over" He said then, glancing at the clock, "Let's get back to the real work"

They all stood up and pushed their chairs under the table.

"I'll go to set the lights in the studil" Sauli informed, "Could someone go to my office and bring my camera? And the newest lights"

"I can. If Brian helps with the lights" Tommy said and tapped Brian on the shoulder. Sauli approved and opened the door for everyone when they left the room.

He made his way to the studio while Tommy and Brian went to his office to grab the camera Sauli asked them to get.

Tommy stopped walking and stopped Brian too by pulling on his shoulder as soon as they stepped inside the office.

"You hear that?" He asked.

"What?"

"The singing. Is there a radio in here?" Tommy asked, looking around but saw no radio or speakers.

Brian rubbed his chin and listened carefully and thoughtfully.

"Is that... Adam?" Tommy whispered, focusing on the voice. Brian huffed, crossing his arms.

"No fucking way. He's shy as a teenage girl among boys, he can't have such voice"

Tommy rolled his eyes and punched his arm, carefully but hard enough to tell him to stop bitching about Adam.

"Better than yours I bet" Tommy said mockingly, "Let's check it out"

"Dude, you do. Sauli is waiting and I have a feeling Adam doesn't like me that much" Brian said and picked up Sauli's camera and tucked the lights in the pit of his arm.

"Fine" Tommy drawled in a quiet tone, waiting until Brian left before he slowly pushed the storage door open.

The singing had stopped by now.

"Wow, man. Was it you? What a great voice"

"No one was supposed to hear but thanks" Adam whispered, staring out from the window but recognize the talker was Tommy.

Tommy scratched the back of his neck, not knowing how to start a conversation because Adam is not that talkative with everyone.

Tommy has only seen Adam comfortable and talkative with Sauli. And partly with Scarlett. Maybe it's the way their appearance is. Kind and smiley.

"Look man I... Well fuck, you sing pretty damn well. Have you considered a singing career?" Tommy asked, sitting on the couch and relaxed himself 'cause the more tense he is the more tense Adam is.

Adam laughed. Like it was a damn good joke.

"Me? Someone who happens to be awkward, chubby, not that pretty and obviously gay? My chances are like one out of million"

"First of all, you're not awkward. Second of all, you have gotten quite skinny. Third, anyone would kill for that face. Fourth, fuck them who sees your sexuality as a problem. Look where Sauli has gotten himself" Tommy pointed out and it made Adam smile.

But Tommy wasn't sure if it was a sad or a happy smile.

"Sauli is,,, everything I'm not. He's sunny, talkative, sporty and good looking. It compensates his sexuality"

"Compensation is bull shit" Tommy said right away, "But think about it. I think you might have a big chance. Anyway, Sauli told me you got a tattoo in Finland"

Adam stirred, glancing at Tommy.

"It was supposed to be a secret. I'm still a minor"

"Dude, don't worry. I'm not a cop. It's cool" Tommy smiled, getting up and patted Adam's shoulder, "But hey, come with us to the studio. Don't be here all alone"

Adam pursed out his lips and shrugged.

"I don't really have a part in there. I'd just be on the way"

For a few seconds it ached Tommy's heart to see how incredibly low Adam's self-esteem really seemed to be. It's like he feels he doesn't belongbanywhere.

"Ha, neither do I! I'm only a backstage assistant in the shows. I just hang around and help. Come" Tommy repeated, bouncing like a kid wanting something really bad.

Adam groaned, getting down from the table.

"Fiiiine. But if I'm on the way, I'll come back here"  
 

♥

   
In the studio, Sauli was already photographing Terrance when Tommy and Adam arrived. Sauli felt happy Tommy got Adam out of the storage room.

Adam loved to watch Sauli work. He was so focused and giving totally different posing advice than he did to Adam.

"Have you guys thought about the New Year's Eve? We could do something together" Ashley asked, knowing she doesn't bother anyone because all of the people are his friends.

If Sauli had another model, it would be different.

"I was actually planning a peaceful night in" Sauli said while browsing the new photos from his camera.

Tommy made a 'pffft' sound and wanted to ignore such talk. Who would spend New Year’s Eve like that?

"I mean it. I have something planned" Sauli said, exchanging a look with Adam who smiled as a response.

Brian noticed that and groaned in mock disgust,

"You guys are so gross"

Sauli put his camera on the table next to Brian's laptop and slapped his head.

Scarlett placed her chin against her hands when she leaned on the table and looked at Sauli.

"What have you planned?"

"Stuff" He said and went to Adam, pecking his neck because he couldn't reach his lips.

Ashley watched them adoringly,

"So sweet you guys" She sighed.

"I think I'm gonna be sick" Tommy joked, slumping on the couch next to Ashley. More like against Ashley. He totally crushed her.

He's always teasing her.

Sauli just laughed and grabbed Adam's hand.

"Okay, guys. I think we go to have lunch and call it a day. It’s been a rough day planning the upcoming runway show” Sauli winked to his friends.

Adam glared at him.

“Hope I am not involved in that show”

Ashley pretended to scratch her cheek to hide her smile and Scarlett had to look away from Adam to keep herself from grinning and revealing their surprise.

“Oh honey, you have a big part in that show” Sauli grinned, “Highlight of the night”

 

♥♥♥

 

Later the day they were both at home, relaxing and generally hanging out together. Adam had went to shopping after his day at work, buying some nice clothes and accessories for himself with his latest salary and was now presenting the stuff for Sauli.

Sauli enjoyed watching him from the bed, being all enthusiastic about his new stuff, surrounded by the pillows so he wouldn't have to sit on the hard floor.

Adam pulled something furry out from his shopping bag.

"What exactly is that?" Sauli chuckled, "A goat beard?"

"It's a fox tail!" Adam said in a high-pitched voice, "I can attach it to my belt loop"

Sauli giggled, watching as Adam put it on. After attaching it, Adam turned around to see his backside from the full body mirror.

He smiled, satisfied. He likes his tail.

"Okay foxy, what else did you buy?" Sauli asked, grinning.

"Lots of things" Adam beamed, bending back down to reach into his bags. He felt he was being pulled back by his furry tail.

"This is handy" Sauli said thoughtfully, "Where do you plan to wear it?"

Adam pulled the tail out of Sauli's hands and swayed his hips once to move it, before crouching down to browse his bags some more.

"Somewhere. Who knows where I end up"

Sauli smiled,

"On a big stage entertaining lots of fans?"

Adam went quiet, biting his lip and was glad he was back towards Sauli. Sauli noticed how he tensed and he got down from the bed and sat close to Adam.

"Screaming girls throwing thongs and bras at you while you drive them crazy?" He asked gently, lightening the tension, “Swaying your hips and shaking your ass”

Adam chuckled, daring to turn towards Sauli,

"Stop. Who would ever do that for me?"

Sauli stroked Adam's thigh, slowly up and down.

"I do feel a big urge to throw off my own underwear every time I see you"

Adam nudged Sauli, smiling, and embraced the good feeling Sauli's words gave him. No matter how weird it was.

"Sad I don't wear thongs so I can't throw them"

"Stop talking like that" Adam squeaked, gently hitting Sauli with a pillow that was on the floor next to him.

Sauli laughed, taking a grip of that same pillow and pushed it right against Adam's head.

Adam gasped,

"Oh yeah? It's fucking on" He groaned, grabbing another pillow from the floor and hit Sauli's stomach with it.

Sauli stood up laughing, planning to punch Adam with his own pillow again but Adam managed to crawl away just in time.

While he prepared to hit, Sauli tried to run away.

Adam grabbed him by the ankle and he stumbled on the pillows that still lay on the floor.

"You're not going anywhere" Adam hissed, crawling on top of him and sat on his ass, "I won"

Sauli groaned in defeat. He hates losing. Even if it's Adam whom he loses to.

"Am I too heavy?" Adam asked, bouncing a little.

"No. But I hate losing. Especially in something I'm good at"

"Pillow fights? Poor baby. Well, I promise not to brag about this" Adam teased and leaned down, sprawling out on top of Sauli's body.

Sauli hummed in some kind of pleasure,

"I don't know do I love anything more than feeling your body so close to mine" He murmured and closed his eyes.

"Like this?" Adam asked as he ground his hips against his ass.

Sauli groaned, not really surprised Adam did such a move. He has turned out to be quite a minx and he can bet that if he now told Adam he wanted him, Adam would laugh it off and tease him.

Not that he doesn't tease him right now by grinding his crotch against Sauli's ass.

"You know you're usually kinda strong but now you can't just flip us" Adam beamed, "Or am I making you lose your focus on your strength? You know I could fuck you through your clothes" He said, putting on his stank face and gave a few quick thrusts against Sauli's ass, "You'd like that?"

"You won! Now stop arousing me, I won't allow you to leave me with blue balls!Again" Sauli murmured against the pillow his head was lying on.

Adam smirked and moved off, releasing Sauli's body.

Sauli sat up and turned around to face his incredibly proud looking and smirking boyfriend.

"You..." Sauli started, his tone warning but it just made Adam's dick more eager, "Deserve a punishment"

"Me?" Adam gasped, "You refused me few nights ago when I was so fucking horny. You should get a double punishment for that"

Sauli put on his best innocent smile and cupped Adam's face.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry" He cooed, smacking a one loud kiss on Adam's lips.

As soon as he let go, Adam got up and pulled Sauli on his feet too.

He pushed him on the bed, both of them wearing their brightest smiles as Adam straddled his body.

"Will you roll your eyes at me and tell me to stop now if I do this?" Adam asked, leaning down to press the gentlest kiss on Sauli's lips.

Sauli hummed and wrapped his arms around Adam's shoulders to pull him as close as possible.

"Probably not" He murmured in the kiss.

Adam chuckled, capturing Sauli's lips again, more powerful now. They were both hungry for it.

They haven’t had any kind of sex in days, almost in a week so it’s starting to build up a bit.

Adam sucked on Sauli’s tongue before slipping his own tongue into Sauli’s mouth, chasing that hot feeling it always gives him.

Sauli was running his hands down Adam’s back and went under his shirt, pushing the clothing up to touch the hot skin all over.

Adam loved to feel his hands on him. He can’t wait to have sex for the whole freaking night.

It didn't take ten seconds until Sauli's work phone was ringing once again.

Thank God they laid on the bed with their feet on the pillow end because Adam kicked the phone down from the nightstand.

"No one and nothing, I repeat, no one and nothing will stop us from having sex now" Adam said in a husky voice.

"Fine by me" Sauli whispered. 

Adam sat up on Sauli's hips and grabbed the hem of his own shirt, pulling the piece of clothing off his body. 

Sauli immediately started to run his hands on Adam's body, going from the waistband of his pants up to his chest. 

Adam lay back down and latched his mouth on Sauli's neck, suckling on his skin while Sauli slowly rolled them over. 

Sauli dipped his head a bit so he could also kiss Adam's neck while Adam licked and sucked on his. 

He felt Adam's hand on his bare side, going down to his hip and finally on top of his ass. Adam squeezed his ass and unlatched his lips from his neck,

"Naked?"

Sauli grinned, brining his head up to look at Adam's heavy eyes,

"Impatient?"

"A week, Sauli. _A week_ " Adam pointed out with a quiet groan and kept fondling Sauli's ass, bringing his hips off the bed to form some friction. 

"Could be a lot worse" Sauli chuckled and sat up, removing his shirt. He didn't waste any time to scoot lower, nudge Adam's legs apart and settle down. 

He dropped his hand between Adam's legs and rubbed in slow circles. He felt the heat radiate through and Adam was moving against his touch. 

"Please" Adam whispered. 

Sauli smiled, quickly working the pants undone and pulled them off Adam's long legs along with his briefs. 

He bent down, wrapping his lips around the head and sucked into his cheeks eagerly while Adam plaid with his hair. 

He pushed his mouth further down and swallowed more of Adam's lenght into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down rather fast, building up saliva to make the drag more slick. 

Adam's head rolled on the mattress and his toes were curling due to all of the sensations. This is probably the longest time he has been without sexual relief since he begun dating Sauli. 

He hasn't even wanked off. 

Even the obscene slurping of Sauli's mouth on his cock felt oddly arousing. 

Sauli's hand came around the shaft, stroking the exposed flesh near the base while his mouth focused on the head. Sauli twisted his fist and fondled his balls, knowing all too well what drove Adam crazy. 

When Sauli pulled off with a wet pop, Adam tugged on his hair,

"Up. I wanna fuck you" He wheezed, feeling his dick twitch and jump. 

Sauli obeyed, finished undressing himself as well and lay on top of Adam's body, lining up their cocks and pushed their mouths together. 

He thrust his hips to rub their cocks together, happy for the saliva on Adam's length, and hooked Adam's other leg behind his thighs. 

Adam all but whimpered, cliginging onto Sauli's body and willingly opened his mouth, allowing their tongues to get in the game too. 

Just minutes ago he was being all dominating on Sauli, and now he's whining like a cat in heat, probably willing to do anything Sauli would ask. 

Without breaking the kiss, Sauli reached for the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a lube. He couldn't find a condom without breaking the kiss though,

"Fuck, hold on" He hissed, moving his body a bit to see inside the drawer and pulled out a condom too. 

"Now we're talking" He said and lay on the bed, this time head on the pillow end, and pulled Adam on top of him, capturing his lips to an aggressive kiss. 

Sauli reached down to squeeze Adam's ass and suddenly he felt Adam tense for some reason, heard a quiet gasp escape into their kiss and something squirted on his groin and on his thigh which he couldn't mistake about.

"Oh" He whispered, pulling away from the kiss. 

"Oh, no" Adam said quietly, his face flaming red and glanced down between their bodies, "I'm so sorry, I- I couldn't help it. Fuck"

Sauli noticed Adam avoided his eyes and he was unease for a very understandable reason but to Sauli's mind, it wasn't a big deal at all. 

"Oh God, this is so embarrassing" Adam groaned, "Sorry"

"Honey, it's okay" Sauli said gently and tried to get Adam to look at him but he just pressed his head down to the crook of his neck, "It's not a big deal, it happens. It's life"

Adam kept groaning against his skin which was so unnecessary but to be fair, if the situation was reversed, Sauli would be embarrassed too. 

"Really, it's okay" Sauli smiled, stroking Adam's back, "It's okay" he repeated, bringing his hand up to tug on Adam's hair to maybe have him raise his head. 

He did but he looked painfully embarrassed and sheepish, and Sauli wanted to make it all better somehow. 

"Baby" He smiled, cupping Adam's face between his palms, "It's not that big of a deal"

Adam attempted a smile and raised his body while Sauli reached out towards the nightstand to pull out a couple of tissues from the box. 

Adam felt mortified when Sauli wiped his own thighs and crotch and where ever on his body Adam had un-intentionally spurted on. 

Sauli tossed the dirty tissues aside and pulled Adam back down. He cupped his face again and gave him a gentle smile,

"Are you completely mortified?" He asked. 

"If you must know then yes" Adam said, "I did not see that coming"

"Well, let's just change the plan a bit then, okay?" Sauli asked and rolled them over. If Adam doesn't get to fuck him, he might as well fuck Adam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is up soon! Let's say if things go great, maybe in a week.


	25. Adam's birthday 1.0

"Oh my God. You have to stop spoiling me" Adam squeaked when they stepped inside their hotel suite at the hotel Spa.

Sauli chuckled, letting his suitcase down on the floor next to the huge bed while Adam fell on the said bed on his back.

“Hm. Bouncy” He declared as he kept slightly bobbing on the bed after falling on it. Sauli smirked and hopped on the bed as well but on his stomach.

Yes. Very bouncy.

Adam giggled as Sauli bobbed even more than him due to his smaller body and lighter body weight.

“Well, this might be interesting. Careful not to thrust so hard I sink into the mattress and won’t find my way out” Sauli said and tapped the mattress. 

Adam chuckled, amused, and shook his head at Sauli and his weird way of thinking. Or his weird jokes. Whatever.

“I’m not _that_ rough” Adam said, small smile playing on his lips.

Sauli moved to straddle Adam’s lap and jumped a little, testing how the bed reacted to their bodies together.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s forget that time in Finland when the bed legs left marks on the floor because it moved so much” Sauli pointed out. 

Adam covered his face and laughed. No matter how incredibly confident he feels in Sauli’s company already, Sauli always manages to make him blush even a little.

Sauli giggled and pushed Adam’s hands off his pretty face, revealing the slight pink that had crept its way on his cheeks.

“Lucky my bed doesn’t have legs. Poor thing has went through a lot anyway”

Adam pinched Sauli’s side,

“Well, I’m sure it had enough break when you were drowning in your work” He said and Sauli nodded, admitting the fact that they didn’t have that much time to have sex then.

And just before that particular busy week, they were in Europe, so. 

“True. So it should be on its guard when we come back” Sauli murmured, wiggling his eyebrows, “Right, bunny rabbit?” He added, brushing Adam’s nose with his finger tip.

Adam gasped,

“Excuse me? You know I can _really make love_. Very slow and sweet but you are the one that keeps moaning for me to go harder” 

“Guilty” Sauli beamed, getting up before he’d get way too horny to enjoy the spa. The weekend would pass by enjoying _Adam_.

Adam got up too with a grin on his face and walked to the window to see the view. Fuck, Sauli has gotten a room from a perfect place.

“You have to stop the spoiling” He said once again. 

"Oh, hush you. Let's make a deal; when you'll be the famous rockstar, you'll buy me a dinner" Sauli smiled and snuggled against Adam's back.

"Why are you all pushing me towards the music?" Adam asked, staring out of the window while Sauli ran his hands on his abdomen, "I already told Tommy that could never happen because I'm..."

"Because you're gay?" Sauli asked, "And to borrow your words, ugly without make-up? Not skinny or have tight abs?"

"Something like that..." Adam mumbled, glancing down at his stomach where Sauli's fingers were laced together. 

Sauli pursed out his lips and pressed his forehead against the back of Adam’s neck.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. None of us are perfectly beautiful. None of us believe their body is perfect. It's so funny you believe all the rubbish the media says about you but you don't believe me when I say you're perfect to me the way you are. Why it's so hard to believe the positive things?"

Adam sighed,

"I dunno"

Sauli kissed the back of his neck and gave a loving rub to his tummy,

"Don't think about it now. We have other things to do" He smiled and made Adam turn around in his hold. He loved how Adam already smiled.

"Oh? Like what?"

Sauli wrapped his arms loosely around Adam's waist and looked into his eyes when he talked,

"Like massages, hot tubs, facials and such"

"I want to be alone with you" Adam pouted.

"I know. That's why I got us a private room with a small pool and a hot tub. We can order a treatment when we want to" Sauli beamed, moving his hands on Adam's hips and stroked his hipbones which had gotten almost too sharp for Sauli's liking at some point, but now they have some meat on top of them. 

Adam grabbed his hands and yanked on them, causing Sauli's body to fall against his. Sauli laughed, his chin pressed against Adam's chest.

"Can we go to take that bubble bath?" Adam asked

"Yes, we can" Sauli grinned, pushing himself up, "Then we can discuss things"

Adam went to his own suitcase to grab everything necessary and glanced at Sauli, concerned.

"Something serious?"

Sauli gave him a small smile,

"I'm not going to leave you, I haven't cheated, I have no other man, I won't fire you, I am not joining the army and I won't move to Finland"

"Will you change your sex?"

"No" Sauli laughed, "About things. Nothing you should be worried about"

"Okay" Adam smiled, turning his attention back on his suitcase, "What do I need there?"

Sauli shrugged, not really sure himself.

"Maybe just swimming trunks I guess. Bathrobes are usually given there” He said.

Adam nodded and grabbed his swim shorts. He’ll change there.  
 

♥

   
The bathtub was wonderful. Big and roomy, so comfy and relaxing. It was a shape of a circle, near the regular pool.

"Someone would get a great husband of you. Women would kill for you if this is what you'd give 'em" Adam said, curling his body into the warmth of the water.

Sauli huffed, pulling the small cups of sweet little treats closer, like berries and such.

"But I wouldn't kill to get a woman, you're perfectly fine with your beautiful dick"

Adam chuckled,

"You date me because of my dick?"

"Definitely not" Sauli beamed, "But it's a big plus"

Adam nudged him on the side, laughing. Oh boy, he enjoys the way Sauli talks about his dick.

This would be a good time to just talk about them and things in general. Sauli has been so busy they have barely had time for each other.

"You're thinking again. I swear I can almost hear it" Sauli smiled, "What's going on?"

Adam shrugged,

"Nothing really. I’m just feeling very happy”

Sauli’s face softened,

“I’m glad you are. Because then I am too” He smiled, planting a big kiss on Adam’s cheek,v"Open up" he smiled then, holding a strawberry between his fingers. He had just dipped it in white chocolate. 

Adam swallowed nervously but opened his mouth anyway. Sauli put the strawberry on his lips and Adam took a bite out of it. It was good, delicious even. 

After Adam had taken a bite, Sauli ate the rest of it. 

"You are so cheesy. You truly are. You make us look like a freshly married couple" Adam teased. It's not like he minds Sauli's cheesy behavior, it's actually very nice.

"I can't really help it. You make me this way" Sauli beamed, kissing Adam on the cheek for a couple of times more. Adam giggled, escaping the contact and turned his lips towards him instead.

Sauli didn't mind, he captured Adam's lips more than happily. As he kissed him, Adam pushed him back a little, making Sauli giggle into the kiss.

"You horny bunny" Sauli grinned, gently pushing Adam off of him, "The point was to relax"

"I do feel pretty stiff to be honest" Adam said casually. 

"Oh? Should I help you with it?" Sauli asked murmuring, and leaned closer to Adam's ear "Maybe rub a bit"

Adam grabbed the back of Sauli's head and quietly gasped when he nibbled on his earlobe.

"I might feel even more stiff after that"

"I'd have to finish my job until you feel the relief " Sauli whispered, already climbing on Adam's lap and kept biting and tugging on his ear. 

Adam groaned, pushing Sauli off of his ear and kissed him on the lips, slipping his tongue inside of Sauli's mouth without any hesitation. Sauli moaned, framing Adam's head with his palms the same way Adam did his.

Their tongues swirled together, both of them breathing harsh, quiet moans escaping. Sauli loved the way Adam’s cock was slowly hardening against his ass.

Sauli’s grown out stubble felt itchy against Adam's chin. It wouldn't have to grow much more until it would feel more softer but Adam feels like Sauli will shave it soon. 

They pulled away after a while to pant,

"Gosh... I don't know if you're like super great or have I just never had great sex" Sauli said in awe, gazing into Adam's eyes. 

Adam pulled Sauli even closer to have him sit directly on his crotch, and stared at his raw, red lips. His lips were probably the same. 

"You tell me" Adam said. 

"You know, I was like thirteen when I had my first French kiss and fourteen when I had my first sexual,,, Well, encounter. Now everything feels so different" Sauli explained with a small frown, petting Adam's cheek, "I'm not nervous, I'm not selfish and I'm not unsure of myself. I'm confident, I crave to see you feel pleasured and I just enjoy every second even if everything doesn't go perfectly"

Adam smiled, holding onto the hand Sauli had on his cheek. Talk about perfect, they have had a couple of moments when things did not go as well as they could have gone. 

"Maybe you have just grown up" Adam said. 

"That too. But if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have done that stuff back then. I was too young. With you" Sauli quietly said, looking at Adam in the eyes, "With the person that I genuinely love and care about, everything is different. Of course I was nervous to be the one you lost your virginity to and I was afraid I might not be good. Not anymore because I know you. The sex is not an achievement I go brag about like I wanted to do when I was younger" he explained.

Adam’s eyes shined at the words and he had to kiss Sauli right then and there. Sauli says the most beautiful things about him and their relationship in general.

"I love you" Adam whispered after their tasteful kiss, not knowing any other words he could say after Sauli's words.

"And I love you" Sauli replied, pushing their lips back together while his hand searched its way into Adam's pants, releasing a quiet moan when his hand wrapped around the straining flesh.

Sauli pulled his cock out, grasping it firmly, making Adam’s hips buck up to his hand.

Adam’s wise enough to know Sauli won’t take it any further since they’re sitting in a tub. There’s no way he could cum in there and Sauli knew it too. But he couldn’t help himself.

“Don’t get me all worked up if I can’t come… That’s like the cruelest thing to do” Adam said, trying not to focus on Sauli’s still hand around his dick.

“I know. That’s why you need to sit on the edge of the tub” Sauli said wickedly. 

Adam frowned but did so anyway as soon as Sauli got off his lap.

“Better cum in my mouth then” Sauli smirked, sitting before Adam to face his hardd cock, “After this… We could fuck the New Year in” He said and took Adam’s cock into the pleasurable warmth of his mouth.

“Oh yes” Adam whispered in bilss, spreading his legs some more. This spa weekend might turn out to be very nice and sex filled.

 

♥♥♥

 

After the wonderful spa weekend and New Year, Sauli got hectic about Adam’s birthday party. He needed to make sure everything was going the way he had planned.  
He had called Leila and he needed to catch Danielle somewhere.

“Hey, can I borrow your phone? My phone froze and I need to check a few things from the internet” Sauli asked Adam when they were watching TV in the living room.

“Why don’t you use your laptop?” Adam asked but was already reaching for his phone from his jean pocket.

“Too far awayyy” Sauli whined but then he noticed the laptop was on the living room table. Well, fuck that.

Adam cocked his eyebrow at him and handed his phone to Sauli anyway after he had unlocked the screen lock.

“Thanks” Sauli smiled, hating what he had to do next. He sent Danielle’s number to his own phone.

He remembered he had forgotten to put his phone on mute so he quickly sat on his own phone to block any sound it would make.

Adam saw his quick movement from th corner of his eye and he couldn't help but wonder what the hell was up with Sauli. 

“Thanks for borrowing” Sauli said then with a smile, throwing the phone back to Adam.

“Hey- “Adam started when he saw Sauli was about to throw his phone back to him, “Ow"

Gladly it didn’t land on the floor but instead on his crotch. Softer surface for sure but surely not a pleasant one for Adam.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry!” Sauli rushed out and scooted down from his chair, automtically reaching out to touch Adam's knee, "You okay?"

Adam just nodded, attempting a smile,

"You're weird today" He declared, making Sauli chuckle. 

“Anyway, I’m going to take a shower. Wanna join?” Sauli asked, hoping Adam would say no because he needs to call to Danielle.

Adam shook his head as no and gestured towards the TV,

“I wanna watch this”

“Okay” Sauli smiled, putting his phone into his pocket and pecked Adam on the lips before going upstairs and straight to the bathroom.

He pulled out his phone and called Danielle right away, hoping she would take a call from an unknown number.

He was glad she did. She answered with her own name.

“Hey Dani. Can I call you that? This is Sauli”

_”Hey! And sure you can. But why are you calling me?”_

“Where should I start? Well, basically because I’m planning a birthday party for Adam and I need you to be there” Sauli said, sitting down on the floor and against the wall of the bathtub.

There was a moment of silence.

_”For a second I thought something has happened to Adam. But yeah… We haven’t talked in months. Sure he even wants me there?”_

Sauli bit his lip and wondered if he should tell her about the incident that happened a while ago that ended up with Adam getting rushed to the hospital.

“He told me you guys haven’t talked because you are only spending time with your boyfriend” 

_”Well, we broke up a while ago. He was talking about Adam in a way I could not accept”_

“Don’t tell that to Adam. He’d only end up blaming himself for it”

_”I know. I wasn’t planning on to do it. But about the party, where, when?_

“On the top floor of the agency building on the exact same day Adam has his birthday. I’ll be taking him to the High Voltage earlier that day and bring him there in the early evening when I know my friends have put everything ready. You could go there in the morning as well and help with the decoration and such” Sauli said, playing with the rips on his jeans.

_”Okay, I can do that. That sounds cool”_

Sauli smiled.

“Okay, then. So I’ll see you there?”

_”Definitely. I’ll be there”_

“Perfect. Bye then”

_”Bye”_

Sauli grinned happily, putting his phone aside, and took a shower like he said he’s going to or Adam would wonder what the fuck is he doing. 

After that he returned to Adam who was lying on the couch in a way that would make you think he's having a stroke but Sauli already knows that’s just Adam stretching.

His upper body hangs down over the armrest while his lower body is on the couch, his knees tucked under his body. He’s very, very flexible. And so bendy. 

Sauli heard a pop and right after Adam groaned in relief. 

“Finally!” He said and flexed his abs pull himself up.

“Eww, was that your back?” Sauli asked, making his way on the couch as well.

“Yes. I slept in a weird position last night” Adam said and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I noticed” Sauli informed, “Besides you kept kicking me the same way Fluffie did in the days when I let him sleep with me. Human should have rapid eye movement, not rapid leg movement”

Adam poked Sauli’s side, laughing, and groaned something about knowing that very well.

“I saw an odd dream. Me and Tommy were riding a tandem bike and he didn’t want to do anything with his legs so I had to do all the work. He kept telling me I ride like a hamster. So weird” Adam explained, shaking his head in amusement. 

Sauli looked at Adam in a way that made Adam feel like he was mentally not okay. Which he really wasn't but you know.

“I truly love you, did you know that?” Sauli asked, all serious.

“Yes” Adam beamed, "You know what?"

"Hm?"

"I think we need a new bed" Adam said.

Sauli cocked his eyebrow at him and threw his legs on Adam's lap.

"Why?"

Adam plaid with hole on Sauli's jeans that was closest to his groin and stared at the visible skin.

"I just... I feel like every night I go to sleep in your bed and I wake up in your bed. If we bought a new one together it would be like,,, ours. Does that make any sense?"

Sauli smiled and pressed his head on Adam's shoulder.

"That makes perfect sense. Shall we go now already?"

"Really?" Adam asked, feeling more happy about it than he'd like to admit. He's glad Sauli does things without spending too much time thinking about them.

"Yes" Sauli beamed, wiggling up, "I've been thinking about that anyway so. Let's go"

Adam chuckled, getting up too and followed Sauli out of the living room. They put on their shoes and jackets, Sauli grabbed his keys and phone then made his way out of the house, Adam following him.

Oh, boy. If Adam would get an idea to jump a bungee jump, he would probably do it. 

They sat in the car and Adam turned on the radio right away after Sauli had driven out of the yard. 

"Ooh, Queen"

Sauli smiled at the excited tone in Adam's voice,

"You like that band, huh?"

"Yes" Adam beamed, turning the volume up a little, "One of my faves"

Sauli reached out to touch Adam's thigh. It was something he just felt like doing. He doesn't need a reason to touch him in the smallest ways.

"Imagine you could get up on the stage with them, honoring Freddie Mercury"

"Stop" Adam laughed, slapping Sauli's hand away, "Honestly, where is your head?"

"Right here now" Sauli smiled, tapping a finger against his temple, "Sometimes between your legs"

Often. Very often now when the stress is starting to fade because everything is going great. Adam laughed, shaking his head at him and turned his attention out of the window.

It looks so clear and sunny today, and it's so warm.

"Have you thought about taking more tattoos when you turn 18?" Sauli asked then, needing the information so Tommy could get a gift card that had enough money loaded into it.

Adam glanced at Sauli with a weird face,

"You really asking that? I want to get a sleeve someday"

Sauli's eyes widened and he pursed his lips like he was about to whistle. Maybe they won't get a card that's _that_ expensive. Maybe a part of it.

"Anything smaller first?"

Adam shrugged,

"I think I could like,,, fill it slowly. Take small parts until it's a sleeve. I could start with a Eye of Horus on the inner side of my wrist. All that Egyptian shit is so awesome"

Well that sounded better, much better, actually.

Rest of the way to the furniture store they talked about tattoos and some of the stuff Sauli's tattoos keep inside and maybe getting something together someday.

Sauli parked his car and they got out,

"Now let's go and find a nice bed for us to sleep in" Sauli smiled, tucking himself close to Adam and wrapped his arm around his waist, "And we sure enter that store in a way that tells everyone we buy that bed together _for us_ and we sleep in it together"

"Sleep?"

"Okay, we have sex in it" Sauli said and took Adam's hand instead, mostly because it was easier to walk with just hand in hand. It was just as important sign of affection as any other.

When they entered the store, a lady appeared to them to ask if they needed help. Sauli told her they would just look first.

The beds were at the end of the huge store. There were no other people at the moment so they could test them in peace.

Adam fell in love with the very high king sized bed. The platform beds were a no-no since Sauli has had one all the time.

Adam sat on the bed he liked and bounced on it slightly. It was firm, not too hard but not too soft either.

"Is it good?" Sauli asked, sitting on it as well.

"It feels good. In my opinion"

"It does" Sauli agreed, "And it looks strong"

Adam gave Sauli a look,

"Are you telling me our bed needs to be 'strong' built or it wouldn't be able to handle us?" He teased.

Sauli smirked,

"Well, don’t you agree?"

Adam's face turned into a smirk as well and he shrugged, testing the mattress again.

Sauli can't even count how many dirty things flooded into his mind when Adam bounced like that. 

“Maybe. Poor thing has no idea where it’s going to go” Adam said, stroking the mattress.

Sauli laughed, planting a big kiss on Adam’s lips.

“True. So this is the one?”

“Yes” Adam smiled, “I can’t wait to christen it”

“Me neither” Sauli smirked, giving a meaningful squeeze to Adam’s crotch. Adam gasped in surprise and pushed his hand away in a flash,

They were interrupted by a cough coming from a male person,

“Would you like to buy it?”

Adam turned his face away from him and stood up from the bed, Sauli right after him.

“Yes, sir. We’d like to”

 

**❤Adam’s birthday❤**

 

Adam yawned, feeling happy and well-rested due to his long sleep and reached out to Sauli's side of the bed but his hand landed on the empty mattress instead.

He frowned and opened his eyes. Sauli wasn't there.

Adam groaned, getting up right away. Laying in the bed on late mornings was so much fun if Sauli was with him. Alone it's no fun and it’s like 12.15 p.m. already. What the hell.

He made his way to the bathroom and did the regular things he does on a daily basis every morning.

After getting out of the bathroom he put on his loose sleeveless top and his striped briefs. On his way out of their bedroom he almost tripped on something.

He glanced down and saw Fluffie's toy. Usually Sauli puts them into a box if Fluffie keeps spreading them all around the house.

Where is that dog, anyway?

Adam continued his way to the kitchen where he finally saw Sauli. He was there filling Fluffie's food cup.

When Adam's feet appeared to Sauli's vision, he glanced up with a wide smile.

"Morning. This is going so wrong. You were supposed to be sleeping, I was just about to come back with a cup of your favorite tea and wake you up old fashioned way" Sauli grinned and got up, putting the dog food pack back in the cabinet.

He stood up and wrapped his arms around Adam.

"Happy birthday, love" He beamed, rising on his toes to reach Adam's lips without Adam having to bend down.

"Thank you" Adam smiled when he pulled away.

"You're now allowed to get tattoos and drink alcohol. And turn to porn industry, if you're interested" Sauli joked and Adam pinched his side, making him giggle and wiggle away from him.

"My future. Being a porn star" Adam said thoughtfully, "Woody Cummings, can I present?"

Sauli laughed and gave a face to Adam,

"Where did you pull that out?"

"I have no idea. I haven’t watched porn since we started dating, thank you very much" Adam chuckled, raising his hands as if to say 'I swear', "Have you made any breakfast?" He asked then and turned towards the stove but saw it was empty.

"No. Didn't have time. We can make something together if you'd like" Sauli said, pressing himself against Adam's back and wrapped his arms around him, "What would you like to have?"

Before Adam could answer, Sauli talked again, this time more enthusiastic;

"Hey! I got this yesterday!" He said and pointed a juicer on the kitchen counter, "I actually made two glasses of juice with this. You can have another one" He grinned and gave Adam a glass full of green... Juice. 

Adam sniffed at it and made a face. He's not used to eating vegetables let alone drink them in a juice form. 

Sauli kept smiling at him, like he was waiting for Adam's review. 

Adam took a small gulp and holy Jesus, it was so _icky_.

He swallowed it with struggle and tried not to grimace at the taste because Sauli's freaking face was so full of happiness and pride. 

But Adam started coughing, maybe a gag combined too, and Sauli burst out laughing. He's not really offended, it was the first juice he has made and it seems it turned out to be not so great.

"I'm sorry but..." Adam managed to wheeze.

"It's fine" Sauli laughed, "I put everything in there" He cackled and gestured all the vegetables and fruits he had taken out of the freezer and basket.

Adam put his glass on the counter and shuddered.

"So not that for breakfast" Sauli declared, "Oh, your present"

"You got me something?" Adam asked, feeling weird and over-whelmed because no one had remembered his birthday ever before. Except his mom.

And now she hasn't even called him.

"Of course I did!" Sauli yelled from somewhere in the hall, searching for the gift card from his jacket pocket, "Actually this is from all of us. Me, Tommy, Scarlett, Brian, Ash and others" He smiled when he returned to kitchen and handed the card to Adam upside down.

Adam shot him a curious glance before turning the card around to see it.

"Oh my... High Voltage? From Kat? Are you serious?!" Adam asked, his voice high with excitement, "Oh my God, thank you, thank you, thank you" He repeated, pulling Sauli into a tight hug and drowned him in kisses.

Sauli chuckled,

"Can we go now?"

♥

 

Before going to the High Voltage, they had ’breakfast’ at the café nearby. It was more of a lunch, though.

Adam got his Eye of Horus from a woman whose name is on the top list of the hottest tattoo artists in whole U.S.

"I'd go straight for her" Adam said while admiring the tattoo in the car.

Sauli gave him a knowing look,

"Okay, I wouldn't. But she's awesome and she was so nice"

Sauli chuckled,

"You're literally beaming. Like a kid who just got a new toy"

"Shut up" Adam murmured, putting his sunglasses on after he had admired the tattoo again. They are going to a completely different direction than back home.

"Where are we going?"

"I need to grab a few folders from my office. That okay?" Sauli asked, trying to sound believable. Thank God the lights in the top floor were still off when Sauli drove closer to the building.

Adam just nodded. Why wouldn't it be okay? It's not like he needs to get back home as soon as possible.

When Sauli parked the car, Adam kept himself buckled in. What could sound believable enough to make Adam come with him _and_ it wouldn't ruin the surprise?

"Aren't you coming?" Sauli asked when he unbuckled his own seatbelt.

"What would I do there?"

"Fuck me on my office table?"

“Yes, please” Adam said, unbuckling himself right away, making Sauli chuckle at him. Unfortunately Sauli needs to disappoint Adam when it comes to fucking him on the office desk.

Adam followed Sauli inside and straight to the elevators. Sauli stood in front of the buttons and the small screen where you could see the floor they’re at to block Adam from seeing it.

When the elevator doors opened, they could see only a very dim room.

Until…

“Happy birthday!”

And boom all the colorful lights were on and each of Sauli’s closest friends appeared from somewhere, including Danielle and Leila. And what the fuck, where did Sauli find Alisan too?

Adam covered his mouth in surprise before dropping them on his chest on top of his heart.

“Did you honestly think I would be working 24/7 and risk our time together? This was something I was working on” Sauli said with a huge smile and wrapped his arm around Adam’s waist because he looked like he could fall down any second.

“You bitch” Adam said loudly, not angry at all just so surprised. He kissed Sauli’s temple.

Somewhere from the crowd Adam saw a familiar brown-haired girl jump towards him, pushing her way through rather roughly, not caring if someone got a bruise on their shoulder.

“You idiot! Why haven’t you called me?” Danielle asked and jumped on Adam, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and legs around his hips, “Oh gosh, I hate you so much” She groaned, squeezing the life out of her best friend.

Meaning ‘I love you so much’. Adam knew it.

Adam inhaled her familiar scent. She uses the same shampoo and fragrance she used before.

“I love you too” Adam smiled, feeling the happy tears form in the corners of his eyes.

Danielle dropped herself down and poked Adam in the stomach.

“Don’t you ever do that again” She said and Adam shook his head as no. He can promise that.

Leila appeared somewhere too. First she cupped Adam’s face in her loving hands and just looked at him before she hugged him.

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to.

Tommy walked to him too, that small smile on his lips. He stood next to Adam and put his hand on his shoulder, turning him a little towards the direction he wanted him to.

“What if you kick this party going?” He asked, pointing towards a small stage where he saw a microphone stand, bass, guitar, keyboards and a drum set.

Adam shook his head frantically,

“I can’t. I-”

“I heard you man. Brian did too” Tommy said, making Adam glance at Brian who actually freaking smiled at him, “And that dude knows what a good voice is”

Adam glanced at Sauli, like he was begging for help but all he got was an encouraging smile. Sauli promised to keep his hands out of this thing.

“I don’t know what to sing…”

“How about some David Bowie and Donna Summer? Because we” Tommy smiled, pointing first at himself then Brian, Ashley and some dude Adam has seen briefly before, Isaac his name was, “Can rock that shit”

Adam knows David Bowie. He knows Donna Summer too. 

His heart was beating like crazy. He hasn’t sang in front of people before and now the room is filled with them. 

“Okay. Okay, fine” He replied slowly and quietly, still unsure.

His feet were stuck on the ground even though Tommy and others made their way on the stage already and got ready with their own instruments.

He needed something. That something that would make him move his legs.

Sauli stood suddenly right behind him, whispering in his ear.

“Imagine I am the only one here. Sing to me” He said and tapped Adam’s ass but didn’t tell him to go or move. Adam would decide.

One more pat to his ass and he was moving. Just like that he was standing behind the mic stand.

He wrapped his hand around the shaft of the stand, feeling it like a lover, like it was made into his hands.

He shot a glance at Sauli again. Sauli smiled at him when he first walked on the runway, he smiled at him when he stepped in front of the camera for the first time, and he smiled at him when they first met…

And he still smiles at him. And he probably never stops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. Hope you liked it. Next chapter up as soon as I have time.


	26. Adam's birthday 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute, sexy, cute.

Adam's legs were shaking. 

The adrenaline was still running furiously through his veins when he heard nothing but cheers. Every other sound and noise sounded blurry compared to that. 

Suddenly Tommy tapped his shoulder once.

"Holy Christ, man. That was awesome"

Adam still didn't find words. With unsteady steps he stepped down from the stage and was caught in Sauli's arms when his wobbly legs gave in.

"Easy" Sauli smiled, helping him to sit on the nearest couch before he would fall completely due to his continuously buckling knees, "Are you in this world?"

Adam looked into his eyes and nodded. His hands were shaking even though Sauli was gripping on them both tightly.

"Did I really just do that?" He asked, his voice only a little raspy after such a performance. 

"You really did and it was incredible. I never knew you could sing like that" Sauli beamed, handing Adam a bottle of water. Adam shrugged, trying to open the bottle but his hands were too shaky so Sauli did it for him.

"I'm so proud of you" Sauli smiled, pecking Adam on the cheek and temple and handed the bottle back to him.

Adam smiled and took a long gulp, feeling the water cool down his vocal cords. Sauli closed the water bottle for him after he was done. 

Sauli has been proud before. Proud of his family members, friends and employees but he has never felt _this_ proud of someone. 

Adam's mother was staring at him too, looking almost more dazed and teary than Sauli did.

"I can't believe I did that" Adam whispered, "But thank you for doing this to me. It means more than I am able to tell you... " he said, turning his head to look at Sauli. 

"You're welcome" Sauli smiled and wrapped his arm around Adam's neck, pulling him close.

"My classmates always set their own parties and I was never invited... And when I had my own they said no one would ever care enough to celebrate my birth. Like... Like it wasn't something anybody should celebrate" Adam said quietly, the memory still clenching his heart.

"Oh, it's definitely something to celebrate. Now it's your day to transition from adolescence to adulthood. Let's get you your first legal alchol shot. Maybe you get brave enough to sing us some more" Sauli smiled as he got up, grabbing Adam's hand and pulled him up by his hands.

Adam groaned, but he was smiling and didn't resist at all.

Sauli pulled him at the bar and since there was no bartender since it was their own party, Sauli poured them salty licorice shots.

He handed the other one to Adam,

"Kippis" He grinned.

They poured them down their throats in one move. 

Sauli cracked up at Adam's face right after he had swallowed his own drink. He looked like he just drank the most awful drink ever.

"Finnish style" Sauli said, "People just don’t get the magic of salty licorice"

Adam chuckled, his face still messaging the definite displeasure the shot caused to his taste buds and throat.

Sauli put the shot glasses down on the counter.

“Definitely don’t. At least not in this way”

Sauli laughed,

“Let’s go to eat something. I’m starving” He said, grabbed Adam’s hand and pulled him through the crowd to the buffet.

Oh geez, Ashley did amazing job with food. There’s something for everyone.

“Wow. That’s,,, a lot of food” Adam stuttered, eyeing the buffet. His stomach churned unpleasantly. Sauli glanced up at his face and started stroking his back, gently in a soothing way.

There were so many people around him now. He felt queasy under these circumstances.

Sauli handed him a plate,

“I know that when the food is sugary, you want to have a one, shared plate with me, but what do you say we take another big step today?” Sauli gently asked, careful not to talk too loud.

Adam took a deep breath and nodded. Yes, Sauli is right. He has to take that step sometimes, he has to be able to live normally around food.

He grabbed the plate from Sauli and looked at all the food before him. He grabbed a few cocktail sticks, a slice of salty ham-cheese pie and one cute, small cupcake.

Sauli took pretty much the same on his own plate. 

It was tricky to make a way through the dancing people but they managed to get on one of the couches.

“I’ve been thinking of graduating the high school after all” Adam said after they had sat down, “I’ve just fallen behind quite badly”

Sauli nodded,

“You wanna graduate with others?”

“I don't know if that's possible, I really have a lot to do. I think my mother would appreciate my graduating as well” Adam said and made a face. Even though the thought of returning to school doesn’t really tempt him, he’d like to graduate anyway.

He could work from home if that’s possible.

Sauli pulled the small meatball off the cocktail stick with his teeth and nodded again with a hum,

“You can do that. If you need money you can work on weekends or after school”

“But I suck at math” Adam groaned and tasted the frosting of the cupcake with the tip of his tongue.

Sauli agreed,

“I can help you with it if you want me to. Graduating would be a good thing in general, too”

Adam nodded, taking a proper bite of the cupcake he had in his hands. 

“And I can motivate you. Each time you get, let’s say five math problems or calculations whatever you call them here, correct in a row, I’ll give you a blowjob. Seven or more, you can fuck me any way you want to and each time you give up, no sex in a day” Sauli said thoughtfully, biting on the meat ball. His mom taught him not to talk while mouth full. Well, whoops. 

Adam looked at him with his mouth gaping open,

“Okay, done. But” He stated firmly, “It’s you who suffers from the lack of sex too”

“I can jerk off and you have to watch without touching yourself”

Adam gasped, his cheeks feeling warm,

“You are so awful"

Sauli grinned and wiggled his eyebrows,

“I know. Then you’d know the pain I feel every time you stroke yourself before me and won’t let me do anything" Sauli murmured, sitting closer to Adam and kissed his ear, "I get so turned on it literally hurts but I can’t stop watching either”

Adam automatically glanced around them after hearing what Sauli just said. The alcohol must be kicking in already.

“Be quiet!” He hissed, “You can’t say things like that”

“You’re so pretty when you blush” Sauli teased with a big smile and kissed Adam's cheek, “Don’t ever change”

♥

 

Later the night Adam had to leave the crowd filled room and breathe a little. He’s not used to seeing people all around him and offering him drinks and small snacks all the time.

He had politely said no but he doesn’t want to seem rude. He had to tell the people he only had certain times a day when he could have snacks. The schedule will continue for a couple of weeks.

Adam saw nothing but Scarlett’s red hair when she crouched down before him in the hallway. 

"Hey,,, It's your party there. Why are you here all alone?" She asked in a gentle tone and placed her hand on Adam's knee. 

Adam jerked, causing her to startle and pull away with a sad frown,

"Should I get Sauli here?" She asked, knowing she couldn't leave him alone like that and she herself didn't really know what to do or what to even say.

Adam nodded frantically, fingers gripping on his hair rather roughly.

She got up and went back to the party room, hoping to find Sauli soon.

To her luck he was at the bar with Leila. How could she just go and tell him to take care of Adam because he's ripping his own hair out of his head while sobbing his eyes out, when Leila would listen to them right there.

"Hey Sauli, can you...?" She asked, nodding her head towards the door.

Sauli scanned through the room briefly, not seeing Adam there, and he just knew why Scarlett looked so concerned.

"I'll see you later" He smiled at Leila and finished his drink, going after Scarlett.

"It's Adam. He's at the end of the hallway sort of... Well. I don't know" Scarlett said, frowning.

Sauli nodded, understanding, and left right away. He saw Adam right after he had stepped out of the room.

Sauli approached him, crouching down before him and touched his both knees,

"Hey... What's wrong, love?"

Adam dropped his hands from his hair and looked at the blue eyes staring at him.

"You're shaking" Sauli whispered, grabbing Adam's trembling forearms, "Relax"

Sauli’s gentle smile immediately calmed Adam's nerves. His shaky hand was taken into Sauli’s steady one, the soothing stroking Sauli gave to his knuckles with his thumb calmed the trembling in seconds.

“Urges?” Sauli asked gently.

“I guess... I just feel so anxious” 

Sauli nodded, knowing the feeling quite well,

“It’s worse if you are alone. People are playing twister there. Don’t you wanna join?”

Adam let out a chuckle and shook his head as no,

“It’s a little difficult for me. I’m so tall”

“Oh, but you’re quite flexible. And you have long legs which could help you a lot” Sauli smiled.

Adam shook his head again,

"No. Can we just go and watch or something?" Adam asked with hopeful eyes and Sauli just can’t resist those eyes.

They remind him of Fluffie when he was a puppy.

Sauli responded with a smile and nod. He got up and reached out his hands, pulling Adam on his feet as well.

No way Adam’s going to sit there all alone on his own birthday when other people are having fun in the other room.

"If somebody asks, we had a quickie in the bathroom" Adam said when they passed the bathrooms.

Sauli chuckled and nudged his side,

"Except if it’s your mother. Should I walk a little funny too?"

"Who said you would've bottomed?" Adam smirked.

Sauli felt a twitch in his pants. Adam enjoys teasing Sauli like that.

"You pay for that" Sauli hissed, squeezing Adam's ass briefly yet very firmly.

Adam just giggled and mumbled something that sounded like ‘Yeah right’.

When they entered the room where everyone else was, they saw the twister was on and some people were still dancing. The music slowed down just in time,

“Let’s dance. Then we can leave and go home” Sauli smiled, pulling Adam through the crowd to the middle of the dance floor.

“So cheesy” Adam chuckled.

Sauli just grinned, stepping close to Adam and threw his arms over his shoulders while Adam put his on Sauli’s waist.

Sauli got on his toes so he could reach to kiss Adam’s lips sweetly and briefly.

“I love you" He said after pulling away.

“Love you” Adam replied quietly.

 

♥♥♥

 

When they left the party, they ended up making out on a bench in a park. Some people shot disapproving glances at them which was very understandable because people don't usually like to watch PDA, regardless of the sexual orientation. 

Th chilly night outside didn’t sound nearly as tempting as a warm night inside their home so they took a cab home after 15 minutes of passionate kissing. 

Adam giggled when Sauli started pushing him down on his back on the bed. Sauli kissed his ear, going along his jawline to his lips.

"I'm going to eat you" Sauli murmured, gently biting Adam's chin and went down his neck, "You're so delicious" He continued and fought against the temptation to suck a hickey.

He knows they're tasteless but sometimes you get lost in the moment.

He pushed the hem of Adam’s shirt high up beneath his chin and kissed his nipples. Adam raised his upper body so he could pull his shirt over his head. 

Sauli kept kissing Adam's warm skin, not missing an inch. While sliding lower, his nails playfully scratched on the skin of Adam's sides, making him giggle and squirm. 

He reached Adam's belly button. He tentatively licked around it, loving how Adam's stomach moved faster due to his fast breathing.

Sauli smiled, glancing up into Adam's eyes when he blew cool air against the damp skin on his belly. 

Goosebumps ran across Adam's whole body. He didn't know whether to laugh or moan.

Sauli reached up to touch both of armpits, causing Adam's grip on the headboard to tighten. 

"Fuck, you _are_ delicious" He murmured, rubbing his nose against Adam's lower tummy.

He kissed Adam’s skin right above his belt buckle before he sat up between his legs and pulled the zipper of Adam’s boot down, doing the same with his other boot, then pulled them off his feet.

After that he removed his own shirt, revealing the toned abdomen Adam loved so much.

Once his shirt was thrown aside, Sauli cupped Adam’s crotch. Adam's hips bucked off the bed and he shamelessly ground himself against the palm of Sauli's hand. 

His eyelids felt heavy and he breathed hard through his nose when he watched Sauli bite his lips, rubbing his cock through his pants.

Sauli felt the heat radiate against his palm and he felt how Adam grew harder under his tentative touch.

Sauli smiled and straddled Adam’s other thigh, leaning down to bring their lips together while petting Adam through the jeans. 

Adam put his hand possessively behind Sauli’s neck and pushed his lips open with the tip of his tongue. It doesn’t matter if he’s sort of in a less dominant position, the way he kisses stays the same almost every time.

But Sauli can play the game too.

As a reminder for Adam not to try to turn their position around, Sauli firmly squeezed the bulge beneath his palm, making Adam’s breath hitch.

Then he stilled his hand and all Adam could feel was the warmth of it against his package but no friction at all. 

He should know by now when Sauli wants to take a lead, he will. Adam won’t get it unless Sauli flips them around like he often does simply because he loves to feel Adam inside of him or just to dee and hear him act toppy.

Adam whimpered, dropping his own hand down on top of Sauli’s and pressed his hand harder against his crotch and made him rub it. 

Sauli pulled away from the kiss with a wet pop and looked at Adam mischievously.

Adam freed his hand and felt Sauli’s grip on him lighten right away.

“You are mean” Adam hissed, “Just fucking put your hand in my pants”

“Oh, you’re giving orders” Sauli teased, moving his hand on Adam’s inner thigh instead, right beneath his crotch.

Well fuck, Adam can play the game better.

He reached down himself and unzipped his jeans, pushing his hand inside his tight pants with a struggle.

Sauli swallowed hungrily as he looked at the hand moving inside the fly.

Adam didn’t even try to keep himself quiet or still. He let his mouth pour all the sounds out and let his hips move. 

Adam rubbed the tip of his cock before pulling his hand out. Sauli could see his fingertip glisten and he was so ready to get that into his mouth to get just a _small_ taste.

Instead Adam’s look was mischievous...

Adam put his finger on his own lips and closed them around it, humming a bit as he sucked his finger into his mouth.

While distracting Sauli with that, he moved to straddle Sauli’s hips.

Sauli’s eyes were locked in the finger Adam was keeping in his mouth. Adam smirked and released it from his lips with a wet pop. Sauli’s eyes followed that same hand as Adam moved it down his own abdomen and pulled out his hard cock.

“Oh fuck” Sauli groaned, his voice a little pained.

Adam grinned wickedly, keeping his fingers loosely around the shaft. Sauli reached out to touch but Adam slapped his hand away,

“Now who’s being a meanie!” Sauli whined.

“You started it. And in case you haven’t learnt it yet” Adam said, getting on all fours above Sauli and leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I can play this game very well”

Oh, this is why Sauli loves Adam in control so much. He gets all confident about himself.

“Just a small taste” Sauli begged, his eyes big and hopeful.

Adam cocked his eyebrow at him.

“Please” Sauli added.

Adam got in his knees somewhere around Sauli's waist,

“It’s right here” He said, waving that damn thing right in front of Sauli’s face, “But you’re not getting it yet. Strip off your clothes first” he commanded, moving off so Sauli could strip.

Sauli rolled his eyes at him and started working on the rest of his clothes. He started by removing his shoes, then socks and pants.

Adam bit his lip,

“All” He said. Sauli didn’t fight against it at all and took off his underwear as well.

Adam approved with a smile. 

“Now stop teasing me” Sauli hissed with a playful frown.

Adam chuckled. Fine, fiiiine. He got rid of his jeans and socks too, tossing them on the floor.

It was Sauli’s turn to cock an eyebrow and Adam removed his briefs as well.

Sauli settled on the bed on his back and crooked his finger at Adam, making this ‘come here’ gesture.

Adam smiled, crawling on top of his boyfriend. They both sighed when every inch of their naked bodies finally touched.

Sauli looked down between their bodies, groaning. Adam made a confused face and looked down as well.

“Fuck, don’t they just look good together?" Sauli asked. 

“They really do” Adam agreed, raising his eyes back up. He met Sauli’s eyes a few seconds later.

They shared a short smile before Adam reached out for the drawer and pulled a lube out of the top drawer.

He spurted some on his hand and wrapped his fingers around their cocks,

"What? You're not going to fuck me? On your birthday?" Sauli asked.

Adam shook his head as no,

"I probably wouldn't last that long... " He said, his voice a bit unsteady as he slowly moved his hand up and down their cocks to spread the lube.

"Okay" Sauli smiled, understaning. They have been doing the foreplay for almost two hours by now, starting from the party, then the park bench and cab, and now this. 

Adam let go of their cocks once they were both slick enough and started to grind his length against Sauli's, pressing their lips togehter.

The contact of their lips made Adam's stomach jump the same way it did when they kissed for the first time. It's something that just hasn't changed. 

Sauli dropped his hand down on Adam's hip and held onto it firmly while Adam ground their hard ons together. Just the feel of Adam's warm cock next to his own was enough to make Sauli see stars. It felt incredibly hot.

And intimate.

Sauli threw his legs over Adam's thighs and bucked his hips to meet his thrusts.

His other hand was tangled in Adam's thick hair.

Adam thrust his hips against him faster now, his cock getting even harder, if that was even possible but it sure felt like it. 

"Oh shit, how can I be so close already?" Adam panted, needing to stop his movements or he'd come way too early again. 

Sauli kissed the corner of his mouth and petted his ass cheek,

"You don't need to hold back"

"Talk about premature ejaculation" Adam chuckled nervously, lifting his hips enough to make some space between their bodies.

Sauli smiled lovingly and reached down, wrapped his hand around his cock and started jerking himself off. 

Adam sat on Sauli's thighs and looked at the action before him. He plaid with his own balls instead of his cock.

He rolled them gently in his hand and tugged on them to relieve the pressure in them. It usually helps if he's getting too close. 

Sauli plaid with the head of his cock, his pleasure trigger, and pumped the shaft with his other hand, watching Adam. 

Just watching Adam this way, naked, flushed and very visibly hard did a lot to him. He was just absolutely beautiful and simply hot.

"Now, come here you" Sauli whispered, pulling Adam down by the hand.

He wrapped his hand around them both again and started pumping them fast and hard, brushing his palm against the heads from time to time and occasionally changed the speed of his hand. 

From painfully slow to a very fast one. 

Adam nibbled on his ear while he was busy looking down at their lined cocks. He's still not over how they look together.

All of a sudden Adam bit his ear a bit harder than he probably meant to, 

"I'm gonna come... "

Sauli rubbed the tip of his cock with his thumb and he was done. Adam moaned right next to Sauli's ear when he came, spurting between their bodies in three powerful spasms.

"Gosh..." He panted, his hips bucking because Sauli was still touching him.

Adam's orgasm pushed Sauli over the edge. He came right after him, his cum splattering on their bodies.

His harsh breathing matched with Adam's. He cupped Adam's face and gingerly kissed his soft lips.

No words, just love.

 

♥♥♥Valentine’s day... ♥♥♥

 

"We're making cupcakes? Sauli, are we even real?" Adam asked, eyeing the pile of cupcake liners on the table.

"Yes" Sauli beamed, "And no, we're not real. We're the products of our own fairytale"

Adam chuckled, watching as Sauli carried the flour sac and other ingredients they need, on the kitchen counter.

They doing stuff like this together makes all the difference in the world. It makes them feel more close every time.

"If you make the dough I can make the frosting. Here's what you need" Sauli said, handing Adam the recipe his sister gave to him a long time ago.

Adam pursed out his lips and read it through. Doesn't seem too difficult for him to handle.

He started to work on his task while Sauli started making the frosting.

Adam's process was stopped once becoming face to face with having to break an egg. He has always avoided doing that. Fucking eggs.

He grabbed the egg and gently hit it against the edge of the dough cup.

Sauli watched him from the corner of his eye, trying not to start chuckling. Adam tried. And that counts. 

He was sort of sympathetic as he hit the egg against the cup again, still not hard enough to break the shell.

"Baby... "

"Just don't say anything, I haven't baked that much, okay" Adam whined and Sauli put down the wooden spoon he used to mix the ingredients of the frosting, and pressed himself against Adam's side.

He placed his hand on top of Adam's and made him hit the egg hard enough to break the white shell.

When it broke, Adam pulled the two halves of the eggshell apart and allowed the egg to fall into the cup.

"Like that" Sauli grinned and tapped Adam's bicep, "You'll get there. I promise to eat these"

Adam tossed the eggshell in the trash, laughing, and continued his work while Sauli returned to his own.

“You know the headmaster said if I manage to catch up others before the 5th of June, I can graduate this year” Adam told Sauli.

“So you finally managed to see him?” Sauli asked, adding the missing sugar in the frosting.

Adam nodded, chuckling. He promised to see him over two weeks ago but he has been lazy with that thing.

“The math is difficult though. I just wanna say it freaking sucks. Sometimes I get all enthusiastic and go like yay I can do these but then I notice I do them all wrong” Adam frowned, reading the recipe further.

Sauli bit back a chuckle,

“Yeah. If math seems too easy, you’re doing it wrong” He said.

“Like what’s the point of all these percentage things?” Adam asked, trying not to sound too squeaky.

“Make the problems a little easier. We can check them later today if you want to” Sauli smiled and put the frosting cup on the counter.

“I’d like that” Adam smiled back.

Sauli was done the frosting. Now he asks why on Earth he did it this early, it might not be that great once the cupcakes are baked. Oh well.

"Taste this" Sauli smiled, dipping the spoon into the frosting. He took some of it on his finger and brought it on Adam's lips.

Adam closed his lips around his finger and tasted the frosting. 

Sauli told himself not to get turned on but fuck, it was just disturbingly sexual.

"It's good" Adam smiled, pulling away, "I'm not sure about this dough though" he grimaced, partly joking though.

"I'm sure it's fine" Sauli cooed and reached down to squeeze Adam's ass.

Adam giggled, pushing his hand away,

"You're touching inappropriate places in the kitchen" He pointed out and put the dough cup aside to make room for the liners that need to be spread.

"Guilty" Sauli grinned innocently.

He can't really help himself. Adam works like a magnet and he's the metal that keeps getting closer every time.

Sauli helped Adam to spread the liners on the counter. They were quiet but the atmosphere felt somewhat heavy.

It tingled. In a good way.

When they were spread, Sauli pulled out a few spoons, two for them both, from the kitchen drawer.

They started to fill the liners with the dough.

"How much dough do you need the in one liner?" Adam asked while filling the first liner.

"I think half way is enough. They will swell in the oven" Sauli told him. Things tend to do that in the heat.

"Okay. We can't eat these all though" Adam said, chuckling, "Why we even need this much?"

Sauli shrugged, beaming.

"We can take the rest to the agency tomorrow"

Adam nodded, trying to keep the table clean while filling the liners with the stretchy and messy dough.

He's really not the best in this. Sauli is bound to teach him how to cook and then he can make all sort of delicious food for him in turn.

Adam was more focused on the way their bodies were connected from the hip and thigh. It felt incredibly good considering how small the touch was.

It was just good to feel him.

"I wonder if this is even tasty. I mean _I_ made it" Adam said.

"If it's as good as the cook himself, it's delicious" Sauli smiled and playfully nipped Adam's shoulder.

Adam giggled, moving a bit and accidentally hit Sauli in the teeth with his shoulder.

"Oww" Sauli groaned, trying not to smile and held his hand over his mouth, "The cupcakes certainly won't be this jumpy though"

"Oh my, I'm so sorry!" Adam rushed out, reaching out to touch Sauli's face.

Sauli just laughed and shook his head, as if to tell it’s fine and it didn't really hurt, and let his hand down.

Adam leaned down and kissed him.

Adam became distracted and forgot about filling the liners, instead he moved behind Sauli and started to brush his neck with his hot breath. 

"One of us is still trying to get these cupcakes ready" Sauli reminded, his head dipped to the side as Adam nibbled the side of his neck.

Adam just hummed against his skin, his hands seeking for bare skin under Sauli's white T-shirt.

Sauli nudged Adam's crotch with his ass. Adam chuckled and backed up but only for a second.

When he pressed himself back against Sauli, his cock was even more interested.

Sauli sighed, but annoyance was non-existent when Adam made these small movements against his ass.

"Let me get these in the oven" Sauli chuckled, once again pushing Adam away from him before taking the cupcake tray, "Open the oven"

Adam opened it and moved aside when Sauli put the tray in the oven.

"Done. Now we wait, then we put the frosting on them and they're ready!" Sauli beamed after closing the oven.

Adam was more interested on the time they needed to pass now than the cupcakes in the oven. It didn't take much effort to lift Sauli on the kitchen counter,

"This is so inappropriate, love" Sauli said, placing his hands on Adam's hips.

Adam just smiled and pulled Sauli's legs around him.

"That's too bad then" He whispered, "But can you really resist me?"

"No" Sauli replied in a husky voice, his arms going around Adam as he leaned in to kiss him. 

French kissing while baking, why not?

Sauli squeezed Adam's body closer by tightening his legs and arms around him.

Adam moved to flicker his tongue around his ear. Sauli took advantage of his move and kissed Adam's neck, gently biting too.

And gosh, Adam smells so good. He has bought a new cologne or perfume for sure.

Sauli dropped his hands down along Adam's back and struggled them under his jeans, taking a firm hold of his ass.

"We're not going to do anything in the kitchen. That's just wrong" Adam panted.

"Then we go somewhere else" Sauli said, pulling his hands out.

Adam wrapped his arms tightly around Sauli and carried him on the couch near the dining room. 

He knew he wasn't physically strong enough to let Sauli carefully on the couch and get on top of him right after.

So it wasn't like in the movies but it was good enough.

Sauli just sat on it and Adam straddled him. Their position wasn't that common among them since Sauli is the smaller one but they couldn't really care less.

As long as Adam won't get a sore back from leaning down too much while kissing, it's fine.

“Heyy, now we can check those math thingies” Sauli said all enthusiastic all of a sudden and gently pushed Adam off of him. Sauli rushed to get Adams math book from the living room. 

Adam gasped. Sauli chooses math problems over him? That’s just not right. 

Sauli sat next to him with a beamy face.

“Okay. First one. An easy one. Adam and Sauli fuck each other 70 540 times a year. Adam tops 80 per cent of them. How many times Sauli gets to top?”

Adam couldn’t look at him with a straight face. Oh okay, this is the math he likes. He’ll definitely learn easier this way.

“Sauli, that’s like 193 times a day”

“Well, isn’t that a challenge?” Sauli asked seriously but then burst out laughing.

Adam facepalmed at him but kept laughing.

“You are ridiculous. Is this how’ll you teach me?”

“Yup”

Adam rolled his eyes at him. He was about to say that won’t help a bit but then his phone received a message.

He reached into his pocket to see who could possibly remember him. 

Hm, strange, an unknown number. He frowned when he read the text through. He read it twice. Three times.

“Sauli?”

“Hm?”

“Can you take me to New York? Some label dudes want to meet me”

Sauli didn’t seem too surprised.

“Oh, they got our video! We didn’t tell you we recorded you singing in your birthday party” He said casually.

“Sauli!” Adam gasped, his heart jumping out of his chest.

Sauli just grinned,

“Yes, I can take you to New York. And actually there’s a Fashion show I’d like to see anyway, so. My baby will become a rockstar” Sauli cooed, wrapping his arms around Adam and nuzzled the side of neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you can prepare yourselves to wait a little longer again. But I try to come back as soon as I can ;)


	27. It beats only for you

"Adam, are you ready soon? We need to start- Well _hello_ " Sauli said, his question cut mid-way through when he got distracted by the young man who stepped out from the bathroom. 

Adam chuckled, blushing a bit,

"Is this okay?" He asked, glancing down at his body, "Do I look okay?"

"Okay? You look perfect" Sauli smiled, stepping closer and brushed his hand over Adam's chest where his shirt was partly see-through. He was wearing a thin shirt which had a golden glow, a suit jacket, leather pants and high boots.

"I thought since you are so silvery and blue I could wear a hint of gold" Adam said. 

Sauli wore a pair of black skinny jeans with a black suit jacket that had a silver lining, black shirt and silver rings in his fingers. 

His blonde hair was curled and he wore only a hint of black eyeliner. The heavy make-up is usually not his thing, he prefers a more natural look. 

It looks good on Adam though. It suits the shape of his eyes perfectly. Although Sauli really loves him without any make up too. 

"Your eyes look fierce" Sauli informed, taking Adam's hand into his and studied his fingers, "You got yourself some new rings"

Adam pulled his hand out his hold and nervously started to play with the said rings,

"Well, I like shopping"

Sauli chuckled.

"Oh honey, I didn't mean it like that, of course you can use your money the way you want to. It's yours and you've earned them by yourself" Sauli smiled and poked Adam on his chest. For no apparent reason, he just likes to tease Adam. 

Adam jerked and poked him back, on the stomach.

"Oh, it's on" Sauli said in a warning, low tone and brought both of his hands up. 

"No!" Adam squeaked, raising his hands up in defeat. He'd lose a tickle fight to Sauli anytime and any place. 

Last time ended up with him accidentally kneeing Sauli on the crotch and it was far from funny. Adam squirms uncontrollably when he’s being tickled and he usually accidentally hits Sauli either on the face or his crotch.

"Okay" Sauli grinned and watched as Adam moved to his suitcase, very carefully. He glanced over his shoulder a few times to see Sauli wasn't planning anything mischief behind his back. 

He bent down a bit and started browsing his suitcase that lay on the bed. He wanted to find certain ear rings which would match his outfit. 

Sauli kept beaming, slowly moving closer like a tiger to his pray.

"Did I wear those black earrings last night? The ones I-" Adam started asking but jumped when he felt Sauli slap his bottom, "Hey!"

"What? Your position turns me on" Sauli declared wickedly and fondled the flesh in his palms. 

Adam rolled his eyes, smiling,

"Well, I am trying to get ready here so could you please let go of my ass?"

"Let me think" Sauli said. As if he was even thinking about such thing, if he could choose, he'd never let go of that ass, "No" he finally said.

Adam straightened up, only to get two hands instead of one on him. In some way he enjoys how Sauli makes him feel like he's a walking candy bar he just can’t resist.

" _Kulta_?"

"Yes?" Adam smiled, knowing Sauli has a request for him since he called him that. In that soft voice of his.

"Nothing" Sauli said anyway, pressing himself against Adam's back and wrapped his arms around him, "I'm just glad you're here"

"You're not fooling me" Adam grinned, "Tell me"

"Can I photograph you again? It's been a long time. Pleaaaase" Sauli whined, squeezing the bigger body to his embrace.

" _Tell me_ "

"Iwanttodoanakedphotoshoot"

"I hate you" Adam said, turning around and smacked a big kiss on Sauli's forehead, "I really do"

"Naw, you love me" Sauli beamed.

"I do" Adam replied with a smile, "Let me guess. You want more pictures to your drawer?"

"Maybe" Sauli beamed, "And in my car, bathroom drawer, under the cover of my phone-"

Adam shook his head, chuckling. He's not really sure does Sauli want to shoot him because he's a photographer and admires Adam as a model or because he just loves to see Adam play with himself. Especially naked.

"Perv. But we're supposed to go to that show now" Adam reminded, sliding himself out of the space between the bed and Sauli.

Sauli grinned. Oh boy, he enjoys being a photographer. If he wasn't, Adam would probably punch him every time he asks to photograph him.

It's good that he trusts him.

"I know. We should get going" Sauli smiled and grabbed his wallet where he also had put their room keycard.

“I’m going to hold your hand all the time or some fashion people there will steal you from me” Adam said and took a hold of Sauli’s free hand.

Sauli smiled and gave an approving nod to him,

“I’m the one who should be worried about stealing. All the gay guys want to have a piece of you and on top of that, all the agencies competing with ours wants to steal you” Sauli said and pushed the door closed after they had left the room.

Adam rolled his eyes at the ‘compliment’. Just because Sauli sees him as the most sexiest person on the planet doesn’t mean everyone else sees the same.

“Like that would ever happen”

Especially since Adam still sees himself as a pathetic loser who suffers from depression and bulimia.

And his opinion will most likely not change in the next few months. It might take years to change his stubborn mind.

Once again Sauli was almost like reading his mind, and stopped walking,

“No one can be hot in everyone’s eyes” Sauli said and pulled on Adam’s hand to make him stop the walking too.

Adam turned around and faced him. 

“I think you’re hot and sexy. Isn’t that all that should matter?” Sauli asked in a soft voice.

Adam gave him a small smile and a nod. He pulled on Sauli’s hand, causing him to step before him.

“Tell me once again how sexy you think I am”

Sauli smiled and reached up to cup Adam’s face between his palms. He rose on his toes and planted a tasty kiss on his lips,

“If I told you now, we would never make it to the show. I promise to tell you after we get back here” Sauli whispered and kissed him one more time.

“Okay” Adam whispered back and let Sauli pull away. Thank God Sauli is always ready to make him feel loved when he needs it.

Some other would have run away already.

 

♥♥♥

 

After the fashion show they had some late night snack at the city, then returned to their hotel and they took a lengthy shower together. 

The anticipation of the upcoming private shoot was heavy in the air. 

Adam had been in the bathroom for like 15 minutes. All he needed to do was undress and if he wanted, 'get pretty'.

"Adaaam?" Sauli called out and gently knocked on the bathroom door, "Is everything alright?"

"Give me two minutes! Do I need to shave?"

Sauli cocked his eyebrow and returned on the bed, falling down on his back.

"You barely have any stubble, baby face"

"Nooo" Adam groaned, "Not my face, my crotch. And stop calling me baby face”

Sauli scratched his chin and closed his eyes. He would love the photos regardless of what Adam decides to do with his body hair. 

"Do whatever you want to do" He said then, loud enough to let Adam hear him, "Do what feels comfortable for you, okay?"

"Okay" Adam said in the bathroom. 

"And we can always stop, remember that" Sauli reminded. He feels like he can't say that enough. 

"I'm not going to do that, I’m not a pussy" Adam groaned and Sauli could imagine him rolling his eyes. 

Sauli rolled his eyes as well and bit back a small smile,

“Well, stopping something that doesn’t feel good for you doesn’t exactly make you a pussy. Anyway, do whatever you want to because I'm up for every-" Sauli said and glanced towards the bathroom door when he heard Adam step out, "-thing you say" He finished, completely dazed by the sight.

He scanned Adam from head to toe. His hair was down, face all natural and he wasn't wearing any neck chains or rings. He had some fair hair on his chest and his happy trail lead to neatly trimmed pubes.

"I'm not feeling shy at all by standing here in front of you all naked, so please keep staring" Adam chuckled nervously, _not at all_ sarcastic, and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Sauli smiled and attached the objective onto his camera,

"I've seen it all, lovely" He said gently and gestured towards the background wall which he had covered with a white cloth used for photographing, "Step there"

Adam stepped against the wall and watched as Sauli pulled a paper out of his bag.

"This is a contract" He informed, showing it to Adam, "You're my boyfriend but you still have to sign this. Who knows if we're married some day and we divorce and you use these against me"

"I didn't like that divorce part" Adam said, wrinkling his nose. 

Sauli chuckled, putting his own name on the paper first,

"Me neither. Even though I have a sense of morality, I want to make sure I never hurt you by putting these photos up without your permission on the days I feel bitter because of you. This contract basically forbids me" Sauli explained and handed the paper and a pen to Adam.

"Great, hand me professional papers when I'm naked and ready to be photographed already" Adam mumbled and put the contract against the wall so he could sign it.

"Sorry. Just think about a paper cut" Sauli shuddered when he took the paper from Adam once he had signed it.

Adam screeched and grabbed his cock and balls protectively,

"Don't say things like that! I think you scared my dick" He frowned and glanced down at his body. 

Sauli cackled and put the paper on the nightstand,

"Okay now,,, I want a photo where you're not hard" He said then, picking up his camera and settling on the windowsill where he thought was the best distance to Adam. He knows that he won't stay there for long though but he likes to change the perspective.

Adam let out a long breath and got against the wall.

"I don't know how to-"

"I know. You're all vulnerable now, so easy to hurt. But what you need to remember is that it's just me" Sauli said gently, "I won't point you with a finger and point out your flaws or imperfections. Just do what feels good for you"

Adam nodded, taking a deep breath, 

"Okay" he said under his breath and tried to relax himself some more. 

"These shots with you not hard are not supposed to be porny or anything like that, just artistic and beautiful. We'll get to the sexy stuff later" Sauli reminded while watching Adam through his camera.

Adam nodded and placed his hand near his groin on his thigh, turned his head a bit and knew enough to lift his chin.

"I might just die from your beauty" Sauli whispered and took a several shots of Adam's pose, "Can you show me your backside?"

Adam bit his lip and slowly turned around, feeling a little hesistant. He tried to stand naturally, just touching the wall before him and looked down at the floor, his head tipped a little. 

"Looks gorgeous" Sauli told him and snapped a several photos from the view. He doesn't have that many of Adam's butt yet. 

"Lay on the bed now. On your stomach first" Sauli instructed. Adam did as he told him to and got on the bed, lying down on his belly. 

"Bring your other knee up a little" Sauli said and walked closer to Adam, "And put your hands under the pillow"

Adam tucked his forearms under the pillow like he sometimes does when he's sleeping. 

"Perfect" Sauli whispered and put a sheet over Adam, making sure to show his ass, "Now just close your eyes"

Sauli took a few steps back and captured the view from many different angles. He might have taken one close up of Adam's ass, too. 

"I'm a photographer but I'm not boring. A few beauty shot among dozens of sexy ones is enough" Sauli beamed and slapped Adam's butt cheek. 

Adam rolled his eyes, smiling. That's so Sauli.

"Now turn around, sexy" Sauli murmured.

"Am I allowed to get hard now?" Adam asked as he turned around, "Because I've been thinking of ice cold water"

Sauli chuckled and nodded approvingly,

"Yes, please. I'd like that"

Sauli grabbed Adam's knee and bent it the way he wanted. The other leg he told Adam to keep straight against the bed.

"I do feel like a porn star" Adam said when he watched Sauli tangle the covers and sheets around his body again. 

Sauli huffed and tapped his thigh,

"My very own" He smiled and took his camera again. This gorgeous photo roll will go into his locked drawer. 

Sauli stood on the bed, his feet on both sides of Adam’s hips and focused the camera on Adam’s face. There’s nothing Sauli loves more than reading the pleasure from his facial expression.

“Ruffle your hair a bit”

Adam reached up to run his hand through his hair and mess it up some more.

“Better” Sauli smirked, “Like straight from bed. Now pleasure yourself and don’t hold back any facial expressions you might get from that”

Adam cocked his eyebrow and dropped his other hand down to wrap it around his slowly hardening cock.

“I might need to get you worked up first though” Sauli decided and lay on his side down next to Adam, putting his camera on the nightstand to wait.

Sauli’s hand crept slowly but surely towards Adam’s crotch, nudging Adam’s hand away and replacing it with his own.

Adam turned his face to Sauli’s neck and panted against his skin as Sauli manipulated his cock to grow more excited. 

His grip was tight but the speed was torturously slow. But that’s exactly why it woke every single nerve ending Adam had down there.

He pressed tender kisses along Sauli’s jawline while Sauli slowly stroked his length.

Sauli shivered when Adam let out a gasp right to his ear and almost forgot the main reason why Adam lay naked and he was fully clothed.

Adam nibbled his earlobe and moved his hips in small thrusts.

Sauli tried to stay focused. He thumbed the sensitive section on the underside of Adam’s cock.

“Oh…”

Sauli’s own cock was swelling in his pants. Feeling Adam grow hard in his hand is such a turn on. 

He looked down as he pushed Adam’s dick down and let go to see how prominently it’d spring back up.

Very nicely.

Adam hissed as it slapped his stomach.

Sauli smirked and pulled away. He placed the thin sheet over Adam’s lap.

Adam rolled his eyes at him,

“So the tent it pitched”

Sauli chuckled and grabbed his camera from the nightstand. He snapped a few pictures of the prominent lump before throwing the sheet away from covering the gorgeous sight underneath.

“Touch it” He commanded in a low tone.

Adam obeyed, dropping his hand down to stroke his hard length. He kept his eyes focused on the camera.

“Now masturbate and don’t hold anything back” Sauli whispered and walked around the bed to get different angles of the scene. Only a very small part of him feels perverted.

Since he met Adam he hasn’t done any sexual photoshoots with anyone else. With Adam it feels even more natural and even though he could do nude photoshoots with other models too, he doesn't want to make Adam feel uncomfortable. 

Adam touched his own body with his free hand, wandering from his neck down to his stomach to his thighs.

At one point he let go of his cock and just rubbed his inner thighs. That way he didn’t drive himself too close to his orgasm until Sauli could join him.

Sauli licked his lips when he saw the wetness that had pooled on Adam’s stomach from the slit of his cock. 

When he shot Adam’s face he felt like his heart would burst with emotions. 

The way his nose scrunched up automatically at the times, his mouth was slack and his eyes were closed in bliss.

Gosh.

“Tell me what you think about” Sauli whispered when he noticed Adam’s cock twitch.

Adam swallowed hard to gather some words,

“You’re on all fours. I’m fucking you so hard… “

Lord, have mercy, Sauli thought.

Adam’s back briefly arched to a small curve.

After taking a few shots of that position, Sauli put his camera on the nightstand and started undressing.

Naked photoshoots with Adam are bad in that sense that he can’t stay strong very long. 

Since Adam’s eyes were closed, he didn’t even realize Sauli had stopped and was planning on to join him. He only noticed that when he felt a hot breeze of breath against the wet tip of his cock.

His eyes flew open.

Sauli was smirking up at him. Oh, Adam wanted to save that face. He took the camera and pointed it towards Sauli.

Sauli didn’t mind.

“I can’t resist you” Sauli hissed and ran his tongue over the tip, gathering the precum on his tongue, “You’re irresistible” He murmured and wrapped his lips around the reddish head.

He loves giving head to Adam. His throat and jaw becomes sore sometimes but fuck,,, He simply loves doing it to Adam.

He loves getting Adam off, no matter how it's done. 

Adam put the camera aside before he would drop if from his unsteady hands.

"You remember when you said if I change my mind about,,, _that_ , I should let you know?" he asked, not really looking at Sauli directly in the eyes. 

Sauli squeezed his own cock as it twitched at Adam's words, and pulled his mouth away too.

"Yeah, I do" He said. 

"Well,,, I've changed mind. I want you to do it" Adam whispered. 

Sauli's hand stilled on his cock,

"You sure? Are we talking about the same thing here? For sure?" He asked and let go of his cock and ran his hands on Adam's thighs instead. 

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure we are" Adam said, "Do I- Do I need to get cleaned up or something?" he asked, feeling his face heat up. 

"Nono, you just took a shower, it'll be just fine" Sauli smiled, grabbing the pits of Adam's knees, "You sure about this?"

Adam nodded,

"Yeah"

"Okay, then" Sauli said, "Bring your knees up to your chest" he said, his voice only a little shaky due to his excitement, and pushed Adam's legs up. 

Adam took a hold of his legs and let his head down on the pillows. He felt Sauli's breath hot near his hole and it made his whole body shiver. 

He felt nothing happening, just the breath brushing his heated skin. It obviously meant that Sauli was staring and it made him feel more than just a little shy. 

"Uhm- Are you-?"

"Staring?" Sauli asked, "Yes" he added shamelessly. 

Adam kind of wanted to chuckle and he probably would if he wasn't feeling so awkward. 

Sauli gave the first, testing lick to his hole, just swiping his tongue over the entrance. 

Adam wasn't sure what it felt like. Surely not as mindblowing as he had first thought. 

Sauli brought his mouth back close, more of like kissing it this time before poking the tight ring of muscle with the tip of his tongue.

Sauli noticed everything wasn't right so he pulled away,

"Get on your stomach"

"Huh?"

"Just do it. It makes a huge difference" Sauli whispered and watched Adam roll around on his belly. 

He straddled his body and hovered above him, bringing his mouth on Adam's shoulder. He kissed his ear and cheek too before moving his lips between his shoulder blades. 

Adam sighed. This is nice. 

He felt Sauli slowly move lower, planting kisses along his spine until he reached the tailbone. 

Sauli touched his ass cheek, rubbing the firm muscle before gently slapping it. 

Adam jumped a bit, muting his giggles against the pillow. Sauli grinned, leaning down to bite the flesh. 

"Hey!" Adam squeaked, "That hurt" 

Sauli growled playfully and bit down on the skin again, tugging on it like a lion to his prey. 

"Ow!" 

"Sorry" Sauli said then, licking over the area he just bit. He placed both of his hands on each cheek and pulled them apart to expose Adam's hole again. 

He leaned down and flicked his tongue around the twitching hole. Adam hummed quietly, squeezing the pillowcase. 

"That nice?" Sauli asked quietly between the licks. 

"Yeah,,, I guess" Adam replied. 

"You guess?" Sauli smiled, "You don't have to do this" 

"Nono, I just- You know,,, Is that it?" 

Sauli pulled away, cocking his eyebrow. When Adam felt him shift on the bed he grew nervous because he couldn't see his expressions. 

"Oh, my God. I didn't mean it to sound like that" Adam rushed out, trying to push himself up but Sauli held him down, "I'm sorry, it was _not_ a comment about your skills or anything-"

Sauli hummed in laughter. He didn't take it personally so it was more of 'you just said that' kind of laughter. 

"I'm gonna show you" He murmured, grasping Adam's ass again and buried his face back between his cheeks. He swiped his tongue over the hole several times and didn't give a break before he lazily kissed Adam's entrance, building up saliva. 

When he brought his finger in the game too, gently teasing the fingertip inside. 

Adam let out a pleased sigh, subconsciously shifting his legs further apart. Sauli carefully pushed the finger deeper inside of Adam and curled it. 

Adam's hips jerked against the bed as he let out a surprised moan. Now, this is definitely getting a lot of better.

The way Sauli's stubble scratched his sensitive skin while he was rubbing on his prostate made his nerve endings feel more sensitive.

Sauli licked around his finger, really enjoying the way Adam's hole kept twiching under his stimulation. 

"Oh" Adam sighed, bringing his butt off the bed and tried to get even closer to Sauli's mouth. Sauli grinned but it faded as soon as Adam reached down to get a hand underneath himself to rub his cock. 

"Nuh-uh, not yet. Put your hands back up" 

Adam groaned but obeyed. He let himself back down against the bed and wiggled his hips to get some friction. 

Adam has heard of people who eat ass like groceries and Sauli definitely belonged to that category. 

Sauli forced the tip of his tongue inside of Adam and moaned at the heat he felt around it. Giving Adam a rimjob has been just as hot as Sauli imagined it to be. 

Adam was more vocal by now, moaning more freely and louder than before. It made Sauli think he's doing something right.

Sauli pulled away, his spit dribbling down his chin but he didn't waste a second to go back down, grinning when Adam's hips bucked once again. He rubbed his stubbly chin against the underside of Adam's balls which were snugly crushed against the bed. 

Adam hissed,

"Let me touch it" he pleaded. 

"You're not gonna cum on the bed spread" Sauli pointed out, "Turn around"

Adam rolled over and automatically pulled his legs up to his chest and exposed himself. It didn't feel nearly as awkward anymore as it did before. 

Sauli got back to licking and kissing his fluttering hole, and Adam brought his hand down to wrap it around his cock. With Sauli's mouth on his ass, it only took a few firm strokes and he was coming. 

Sauli smacked one last kiss on Adam's hole and pulled away, gently pulling his quivering thighs back down. He kissed Adam's knee and crawled between his legs, bringing his face close to Adam's.

He wiped his mouth area with the back of his hand and kissed Adam on the lips. 

Adam opened his eyes and met the proud smile of his boyfriend,

"That was it" Sauli said.

 

♥♥♥

 

The next day Adam went to see the producers who wanted to meet him. But just like he expected, things just didn't go that easily.

Adam wasn’t really upset because he just knew they would reject him. When you expect nothing, you can’t really get disappointed. That’s what he has always said to himself.

He didn’t want to talk about it. Not with Sauli or with anyone else.

Sauli did know he didn’t get the record deal but didn’t want to add insult to injury so he didn’t bring it up.

Until they had flown back to LA.

Sauli's focus was half on combing Fluffy's fur and half on Adam who was looking at himself in the mirror longer than ever and looking more satisfied than ever.

"I enjoy seeing you like that" Sauli smiled and put the dog comb down and lift Fluffie down from the table.

"Look at my teeth! I finally had a dentist appointment and they fixed my back teeth the bulimia wore out. The situation wasn't the worst possible though" Adam cringed and slid his tongue across his front teeth once more, "And the enamel looks brighter”

Sauli walked beside him and clung onto his arm, watching Adam's reflection in awe.

“I’ve seen really bad cases… And I mean I could have never told you had bulimia if I had to tell that by looking at your teeth. How did you keep them from falling out?” Sauli frowned, noticing Adam let out a single chuckle at his question.

Like Sauli’s question was incredibly silly or something. 

“I had my ways. It just takes years and years of practice and knowledge”

Sauli hated the words Adam expressed that with. Like it’s totally acceptable to fool your body and others as soon as you learn how to.

He was about to open his mouth but Adam’s focus was back on his own reflection. Right now Sauli did not have a heart to bring up a subject that Adam has almost forgotten.

"Something new has slowly made its way on your face" He said instead, cupping Adam's chin, "Your genuine smile" 

Adam chuckled, frowning,

"I've smiled at you since the day we met"

"Yes. At me. But this is coming from the inside for yourself"

Sauli looked at Adam through the mirror and sighed, pressing his head on his shoulder.

"You look so gorgeous when you smile. Have I told you that?"

"A few times" Adam smiled.

Sauli kept smiling and stroked Adam's bicep, slowly up and down,

"You're so attractive I want to eat you" He said and slid his hand down Adam's arm onto his hand and grabbed it, starting to pull him towards the nearest surface that happened to be a couch.

Adam chuckled, flattening his body down on top of Sauli's when they landed on the couch.

"If I kiss you now I will only share this terrible taste with you” Adam chuckled. 

Sauli pouted,

“Well, if we can’t make out we can talk. You haven’t said a word about the meeting with the label guys”

Adam grew serious and he rolled his eyes, sitting up. He sat on the other side of the couch and leaned against the armrest. 

“I have nothing to tell. You know they rejected me because I’m gay. What else do I possibly need to tell?”

Sauli sat up as well and rested his body against the opposite armrest,

“You sound awfully bitter considering ‘you couldn’t care less’”

“I’m not. I knew right from the beginning that not a label would ever take me. I mean,,, look at me. It was just a hefty reminder” Adam said, almost like shrugging it off.

Sauli sighed, more of like groaned,

“You’re being ridiculously pessimistic!" He said, rubbing his face, "Why it is so hard for you to admit when something hurts you? You’re not made of iron”

Adam shot him a glare,

“You’re right, I’m not. You tore me open under your very own gaze. I wasn’t strong enough to keep it together" Adam said, looking down at his lap, "You just… You saw everything”

Sauli’s face was softer when he spoke;

“And you believe that I, **I** , would ever use it all against you?”

Adam sighed,

“No”

“So, were you hurt by their decision not to make a deal because you’re gay?” Sauli asked gently and dipped his head a bit, trying to peek into Adam’s eyes.

Adam moved his focus from his lap and looked at him.

He nodded.

"Well, now I’m going to write that all over the internet and mock you” Sauli joked.

Adam chuckled, closing his eyes briefly. Yeah, Sauli would very likely do that.

“I’m going to give you slap on the butt for keeping things from me” Sauli said and before Adam could even realize, Sauli pulled on both of his hands, causing him to fall on the couch on his stomach. 

Adam started laughing and squirming,

“Stay away from my ass!” He squealed and slid down from the couch. He planned to crawl away but felt too lazy so he just lay down on the floor.

It didn’t take too long until Sauli was sitting on his ass and he was slightly bouncing. That little brat.

“Tell me when you want to get up. Because I’m planning to stay here” Sauli beamed and sprawled himself on top of Adam’s body.

He pushed his nose into Adam’s black locks and inhaled,

“Your hair smells so good”

Adam smiled,

“Thank you. Since you're there, can you rub-"

“Yes” Sauli said, knowing very well Adam didn’t finish yet but a little teasing keeps the relationship fresh.

Sauli reached down and tried to push his hand under Adam’s body,

“Not there!” Adam giggled, “Or there!” He continued when Sauli’s hand was on his ass instead. 

Sauli cackled and kissed the back of Adam’s neck.

“Okay. Relax your shoulders” He smiled and sat up on Adam’s bottom again, his hands staying on Adam’s neck, easing the knots he has gotten from writing for hours in a row.

Adam almost purred.

“Let me take your shirt off. It’s on my way” Sauli said then and moved off so Adam could take his T-shirt off.

When Adam lay back down, Sauli sat back.

He admired the bare skin before his eyes. Not able to resist, Sauli traced his hand from Adam’s lower back up to his shoulder blades.

“I happened to hear Tommy talk about the new fashion show and the T-shirts. Can I still join it?” Adam asked, biting his lip.

“Sure. It’s on Saturday” Sauli said and rubbed the tight knots with his fingertips. 

“Good because I actually already ordered the shirt”

Sauli frowned and pressed onto a sore spot, making Adam hiss in displeasure.

“Sorry. In which number did you join? The final one? What kind of text you wanted in your shirt?” Sauli asked, believing he knows but he still kind of doesn’t believe Adam would do it. 

“The last one, duh” Adam said with a roll of his eyes. 

“ ‘Born this way’? I guess your shirt says ‘Likes boys’ then” Sauli grinned and moved his hand on the back of Adam's neck. 

“Yes. I’m also on the first number”

Sauli raised his eyebrows,

“ ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ ? And that shirt says...?”

“You’ll see. But I bet you can throw in a pretty good guess" Adam smiled, feeling proud of himself, "Oww, not so hard!”

“Sowwy” Sauli cooed, lightening his touch, then grew back serious, “I’m really proud of you, you know”

Adam smiled,

“I know”

 

♥♥♥The show… ♥♥♥

 

"This is very brave of you" Sauli said quietly while highlighting Adam's face with the make-up. 

"I know. It's like coming out all over again. Thanks for setting this show up" Adam said, briefly opening his eyes to exchange a look with Sauli.

"You're welcome but it wasn’t really my idea" Sauli smiled, grabbing the brush and started blending the color on Adam's cheekbones, "You seem very nervous, though"

Adam chuckled, as if to shake that off,

"Well, yeah. At the same time I feel like I can finally shake all this off my heart"

Sauli nodded, listening, but still focused on his process to make Adam look as fabulous as possible. In his opinion, he doesn't need any make-up but it's a fair game with other models. 

"I spray this thing now that keeps the foundation from rubbing off" 

Adam nodded, trying not to jump when Sauli finished his work by spraying the water based make up spray on Adam's face.

Adam blinked then, fluttering his long eyelashes.

"My god, you're beautiful" Sauli sighed, putting all the supplies aside and admired the beauty before him.

Adam smiled at him and stood up from the chair he was sitting on,

"Stop it. You need to help me to get ready" He said and took a hold of Sauli's hand, pulling him out of the make-up room and to his private dressing room.

Sauli remembers the days he was the one pulling Adam from one place to another in every show but now Adam has gotten some excitement himself too.

Sauli gave Adam free hands. He got to pick his outfit, his runway number and hairstyle.

Sauli was eyeing the clothes in the rack while Adam undressed, getting rid of his sweats and tank top.

"You think I should leave out my briefs?" Adam asked then, "The pants I’ll be wearing are kinda tight"

Sauli turned around to see Adam, smirking, yet he shrugged,

"You know my opinion. But they might keep the seam from rubbing sensitive places too harshly, so. I promise to rip off all of your pants after the show"

Adam chuckled. He doesn't doubt that at all, Sauli always has some kind of adrenaline rush after every show even if he hasn’t walked on the runaway himself.

Adam pulled on the glowy dark colored pants. He had to wiggle and jump a bit to get them on properly,

"Now the shirt number 1" He said. 

Sauli tossed it to him and watched as Adam put it on. It was a simple T-shirt with a text 'Bulimia recover'.

"My brother's in the audience with mom. The truth about his big brother shoots him right in the face" Adam said quietly wirh a nervous chuckle, "Gay _and_ bulimic"

Sauli walked to him and stroked the small of his back soothingly. He knows by now it relaxes Adam.

"He can be proud of you. So can your mom. And me" Sauli whispered, pressing his lips against Adam's neck, "And you"

Adam smiled slightly. Maybe so.

"Did I already tell you I will walk with you on the last round?" Sauli asked and Adam's head perked up. He will do what?

"I got a shirt too" Sauli beamed and unbuttoned his cardigan and pulled the edges apart to show his own shirt with the text print.

'The manager who's in love with him' it said, and an arrow towards the right side where Adam would walk on the runway.

"I don't give a fuck about what any tabloid says about us but fuck, I want to tell them and the whole world that I love you and they can stop speculating our relationship”

Adam smiled and pulled Sauli closer by his hips.

“You are amazing” He whispered, wrapping his arms around the smaller body and gently kissed him.

Sauli responded the kiss eagerly, throwing his arms over Adam’s shoulders and pressed in with a little more pressure, making Adam sigh. 

“Oh, there’s the bulimia recover and the manager in love making out like no tomorrow” Said Tommy’s voice suddenly, “Geez, just get a room already” He continued and pushed himself between the lovers and pushed them apart in mock disgust.

“We did get a room. You’re actually in my dressing room” Adam pointed out. 

Tommy opened his mouth and brought up his index finger as if to say something against that but then glanced over his shoulder to see Adam’s name tag on the door.

He closed his mouth and sighed,

“Fuck. Why did you get this bigger room where Ashley used to be?”

Adam cocked his eyebrow at him,

“Her dressing room’s familiar to you?”

Tommy carefully jabbed him with an elbow and glanced at Sauli,

“Your boyfriend’s bitch”

Sauli laughed and exchanged a look with Adam.

“But he’s telling the truth?” he asked Tommy. 

Tommy looked at them both quietly,

“I hate you both" He declared, "It’s not like you haven’t fucked in a dressing room before and after the show”

Sauli’s and Adam’s eyes widened and Tommy realized yet again that he should be more careful with his words. 

“I should leave” He said.

More people were flooding in.

“You all walk in just assuming I’m not changing here!” Adam squealed when Brian, Ashley and Terrance had come in.

“I wouldn’t mind that” Ashley said. Tommy crept his open palm to her face and pushed on her head, “I was kidding!”

“Sure you were. Let’s talk about the time you wanted to-” Brian started.

“It was months ago! And shut up!” Ashley said loudly.

Adam glanced at her shirt and smiled at the matching text ‘petite with attitude’.

Tommy checked his watch and clapped his hands together once,

“15 minutes! Let’s move behind the stage”

Adam closed his eyes and exhaled. Sauli grabbed his hand and rewarded him with a gentle smile,

“After the show we’ll fuck. And then I need to tell some plans I have”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the patience! I had my exam yesterday and phew.  
> So I studied to that and there's been other things going on in my life so the writing hasn't been the first thing in mind. But now I'm back! ;)


	28. Right there 1.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First part of the 'Right there' chapter. Next part will contain lots of playfulness and sex ;)

The moment in the afterglow of sex is probably the most profound you can share with your partner.

Their breath so close you can almost taste it and their heartbeat still so fast and loud you can almost hear it if you focus hard enough. 

Sauli reached out to brush Adam's sweaty hair off from clinging on his forehead. 

"You okay?" He asked, holding the hair back and gingerly pet Adam's hair.

Adam nodded, slowly opening his eyes as he kept panting, out of breath.

"Yeah,,, But I gotta admit I thought I'll pass out"

Sauli smiled and felt his cheeks get warm. It's unusual but he knows he got a little excited tonight, of course he staid in their comfort zone but he felt like he nudged the limits of vanilla sex a little.

"Sorry. I got a little enthusiastic about you" He murmured, glancing down at Adam's body and saw love bites all over his abdomen. Keeping Adam on the edge of orgasm has been one of the hottest things he has ever done in his life. 

Adam giggled,

"It's fine. I can't say I didn't enjoy it, it just felt so intense"

Sauli smiled and let Adam roll on the bed next to him. Sauli fought against the urge to suck on his puffy nipple he abused with his mouth earlier.

"I need to get cleaned up. Some of us have work today" Adam said, sitting up. He pulled out a few tissues from the box on the nightstand and wiped his lower stomach and genitals with them. 

Sauli instead sprawled out on the bed and sighed blissfully. Ah, a day off. If he could only spend it with Adam his life would be pretty much perfect.

"Don't rub it in" Adam hissed, poking Sauli's side but he just giggled in response, "I have to be like, what, 3 hours at work"

"Well, isn't that rough? I bet you'll be exhausted when you come back" Sauli said seriously and flexed his toes, "Should I prepare you a lunch, a bath, a private massage..."

Adam rolled his eyes with a smile and pulled on a fresh pair of briefs. Sauli kept grinning and rolled on his side, grabbing Adam's pillow and hugged it to his chest. 

"I'll be sleeping when you return" He mumbled against the pillow, inhaling the intoxicating scent of Adam's perfume.

"You little brat, you know I love sleeping in" Adam groaned playfully and without any warning he nearly jumped on Sauli's body, "Just wait until I have a day off and you don't"

"Don't talk to your boss like that" Sauli said in a low, warning tone, tapping Adam’s nose once with his index finger, "Or I'll have to-"

Adam giggled before he could finish, squirming out of his grip and scooted off the bed, then stuck out his tongue.

"You better run because if I catch you, you're gone" Sauli said in a casual tone but staid on the bed. Adam leaned against the wall and looked at him,

"You're too lazy to get up from the bed. Besides, I should wash my face, brush my teeth and eat or I'll be late" He informed and sniffed, then made a face at Sauli, "Oh my God, do I reek of sex now?"

Sauli snorted,

"Who cares"

Adam stuck out his tongue once more before disappearing to the bathroom. He cares. It's not like everybody need or want to know. Let alone smell it.

Sauli chuckled. Oh God, he loves that boy so much his heart hurts. He got up as quietly as possible and tiptoed to the bathroom door, then stormed inside with a playful growl and grabbed Adam by the waist.

Adam squeaked in a very high pitched voice, almost breaking Sauli's eardrum.

"You scream like a little girl" Sauli declared, chuckling and tenderly sank his teeth on Adam's neck, "You scared me"

Adam held a hand over his chest and panted,

"I scared you?! Stop doing that, I could have swallowed my toothbrush" He said, his words almost incoherent because of having toothpaste in his mouth. 

"Aww, I'm sorry" Sauli cooed, squeezing the body in his embrace. Adam rolled his eyes and spit in the sink,

"I hate you"

"I love you too" Sauli beamed, then frowned, "You have a bruise on your shoulder”

“It’s not a bruise, it’s your fingerprint from the Friday night” Adam informed and rinsed his mouth.

“Oh my God, I'm so sorry” Sauli chuckled, examining the marks, “Did I hold onto you so hard?”

“Well, what does it look like? The quieter you need to be, the harder you hold onto me” Adam pointed out and Sauli cringed a little. He kissed the skin around the mark and hugged Adam tighter. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you" 

"I like it a little rough" Adam winked and turned around between Sauli and the sink

Sauli grinned.

“You told me to be quiet" He pointed out, "We could have as well fucked loudly so I wouldn't have had to release the pressure like that”

"Maybe so" 

Sauli pecked Adam on the side of the neck before he left the bathroom and returned on the bed to wait. He knows Adam won’t leave that conversation in that.

Sauli reached out to the nightstand to check his phone. No calls, no messages. Bunch of emails though. He opened the gallery and browsed through the photos he took at the fashion show on Friday night.

Lots of selfies with big names, friends and Adam. What a night that was. When Adam returned, he put on his clothes which he had put ready on the chair last night.

“Firstly, we so could have not. Every employee who was there would have heard us. And that would have been inappropriate” Adam said and pulled on the loose pair of jeans. Sauli would bite his lip if he just didn’t finish a great round of sex.

“Secondly, even if we wouldn’t have been quiet, you would have still bruised me because you needed to hold on tight since I held you against the wall” Adam added, putting on his black T-shirt.

Sauli made a face.

“Lastly, I love that intense atmosphere” Adam finished, pulling on his brown leather jacket but it had a green-ish undertone.

“Okay. You got points” Sauli agreed, admiring the relaxed look Adam had on. The beanie is usually the cherry on top. Adam walked to the side of the bed and Sauli pulled him between his legs by his hips and looked up at him.

“You look lovely” He said, his chin pressed against Adam’s stomach.

Adam smiled and pulled Sauli up on his feet so he could kiss him goodbye. Sauli got all giggly when his mostly naked body was pressed against the fabrics of Adam’s clothes.

Adam gave his butt a firm squeeze as they kissed. Sauli did exactly the same to Adam, grinning in the kiss.

“I got to go now or I’ll be late. Ash promised to pick me up on her way” Adam said and kissed Sauli’s forehead.

“Okay. Bye then” Sauli smiled, not bothering to let go of Adam's ass though, "Leave this here" he joked. 

"I kinda need it though" Adam said with a chuckle and swatted Sauli's hand off his butt. 

"I need it more" Sauli winked wickedly. 

Adam rolled his eyes with a smile and pecked Sauli once more before he left. 

 

♥♥♥

 

"What on Earth is that?" Adam asked when he came home and saw Sauli on the couch in some blue overall. He looked very comfortable there surrounded by food and drink and some TV show rolling on TV. A day off must be heaven for him.

It was weird to be at work without Sauli but rewarding in a way. He had to manage on his own since Sauli wasn’t always covering his back.

"This is a onesie" Sauli beamed and got up from the couch to greet Adam with a small kiss, "And look, the zipper goes all the way up!" He said then and pulled the zipper up. It covered his entire face too, zipping the edges of the hoodie together. 

"So I can hide in here when your face annoys me"

Adam chuckled. Well, Sauli is an honest guy at least. Adam pulled the zipper low enough to reveal Sauli's beamy face.

"I should get one of those too"

"You should. It's very comfy" Sauli told him. Adam peeked inside from the collar of the onesie and nodded approvingly. 

"So,,, All naked" He declared. 

"I told you, it's comfy" Sauli grinned and wrapped his arms around Adam's shoulders and tried to kiss him again, but Adam turned his head.

Sauli frowned. Adam doesn't usually, actually never, reject a kiss from him. He likes kissing. And he likes it a lot. When he's grumpy or upset though, he keeps turning his head to avoid Sauli's kisses. 

"Not now" Adam said gently and moved Sauli's arms off his shoulders. Sauli pursed out his lips and followed Adam like a puppy when he went to their bedroom.

He could almost say he knows that face. Knows those eyes, that tension on his brows. He watched as Adam went into the bathroom. 

"Adam? Did somebody say something? Did something happen?" He asked after knocking on the door quietly.

"Just because I happen to pee door fully closed for once does not necessarily mean that somebody has insulted me" Came the reply. 

"You know I was only joking about you annoying me moments ago?" Sauli asked, leaning on the wall next to the door.

"I know"

He heard Adam flush the toilet and wash his hands. Sauli didn't move his ass an inch until Adam stepped out.

"Sauli, I'm fine. The bright studio lights just kicked on a headache" He said, rubbing his temples, "It should pass with a little nap"

Sauli pursed out his lips and nodded. Fine.

"Then take a nap on the couch. I still have a few episodes left to watch" He smiled and took Adam's hand, pulling him back inside the living room with him.

He settled on the couch like he was before, making some room for Adam too. Adam took off his beanie and jacket and lay on the couch, head on Sauli's lap.

"You got rid of our chocolates" Adam declared as he eyed the floor where he saw empty Fazer chocolate wrappers.

Sauli giggled innocently.

"Well, I couldn't resist after the strict juicing diet"

Adam smiled lazily.

“I think I start a new one in a few days. Gives me so much positive energy” Sauli said.

“Tell me when you don’t have positive energy” Adam pointed out.

“Good point”

Adam chuckled. Sauli is either really energetic or really mad but nothing from between. He loves life most of the time.

"Oh by the way, I saw the new gallery today. They had put your photos there too" Adam informed and glanced up at Sauli, "From Fault and one of the ones where you were covered in metal colors. And then I had a boner for the rest of the gallery visit"

Sauli chuckled, playing with Adam's hair though his attention was mainly on the TV screen. He still listened to Adam though. 

"Stop talking about you getting boners. I don't need that image in my head"

Adam made a face and pulled the blanket over himself.

"Did they show you some photos from the show?" Sauli asked.

"Yes, actually. They were kinda cool and I looked kinda good. Well, at least I looked better than in the show where I walked with a twisted ankle and looked like I was afraid that the people in the audience will eat me alive any second"

Sauli smiled at the 'I looked kinda good' part. Seeing someone gain confidence and self-esteem with you step by step is a beautiful thing to watch.

"And you silly thing didn't even tell me you had gotten hurt then. I had a heart attack when you fell" Sauli said. 

Adam groaned, nuzzling Sauli's thigh to maybe hide from the world for a second. 

"Don't remind me. I've never been more embarrassed in my life"

For the first time Sauli tore his eyes off the TV,

"Are you serious? There was nothing embarrassing in it, you could have gotten seriously hurt"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't have been embarrassed yourself" Adam said and Sauli went quiet, "It was humiliating so let's not talk about this. Could use a nap"

"That was the plan" Sauli smiled, stroking Adam's hair which was free from any products.

Adam was quiet for a few minutes. Sauli thought he had fallen asleep so he stopped playing with his hair because he knows Adam is still a light sleeper sometimes.

Sometimes. Mostly not anymore and Sauli proved that when he almost had to spray cold water on him because the man just didn’t wake up no matter how loudly he called out his name and yanked on his arm. 

“And hey, you mentioned some plans on Friday night” Adam said suddenly.

Oh. Those.

“It was nothing special. But since it’s March already, my birthday is getting closer and I don’t know do I want to spend it in here or in Finland with my Finnish friends. But I already decided that I’ll spend it here so”

“Why? I mean you could have gone if you wanted” Adam said right away. He knows Sauli cancels lots of things because of him. It’s like he still doesn’t fully trust in the fact that Adam will be fine on his own for a week or two.

He’s gotten friends to spend some time with.

“It’s just… I will, I mean we will go to Finland in the beginning of the Summer so. And there’s something I just want you to know”

Adam frowned and listened.

“One label accepted you to be their artist. Because me and Brian kind of fussed again and send some of the demos you’ve made. They’d want to meet you on Wednesday”

Sauli was a little afraid of Adam’s reaction since the last time didn’t go as planned. And Adam doesn’t like when he does things behind his back. Especially if they has something to do with him.

But Adam just scooted up and turned to look at him.

“If that’s a joke, it’s not a funny one"

Sauli still didn’t know was he mad or not.

“It’s not a joke” He said carefully.

Adam just stared at him for a moment. Then let out a chuckle. Like he was lost for words.

“You’re… I mean… That’s… I…”

Sauli burst into a wide smile.

“You’re welcome” He said, scooting in Adam’s arms and sat on his lap, hugging him.

 

♥♥♥

 

The meeting with the label dudes has been rather destructive. Adam can't believe he's still sitting there.

"I think you're misunderstanding me. I don't want to be the 'gay dude' who sings about the 'gay stuff''" Adam said for the fifth time already. He's getting pissed but he wants to be polite. That's how he was raised.

One of the guys kept popping the clamp ring of his pen and looked at Adam.

"Okay. No gay qualification. Lyrics about females then?"

"No!" Adam said loudly and threw his hands up in the air. Again. He thought he had already made that clear, "That's not who I am. I don't want to sing about women when I obviously feel no physical attraction towards them. What I want to do is make songs _anyone_ can relate to, on some degree"

Another guy put his elbows on the table and looked at Adam. He was older than the other one.

"Does it matter? You could throw yourself into the feeling. Or don't you appreciate women?"

Adam groaned, running his hands over his face. Yeah because that's exactly what he said. Twisting his words since the first sentence.

"I'm sorry gentlemen," Adam started, getting up from his chair, "I'm gay. I fall in love with guys. I have sex with guys. I have a wonderful boyfriend too. So no, I'm out. I think we're not in the same wavelength. Have a nice day!" He finished with a smile and walked out of the room.

Sauli was waiting for him in the cafeteria of the building. When he saw Adam's face, he knew he probably didn't get the reception he wanted.

"They wanted me to sing about women because they didn't want me to be openly gay. Let's get the fuck out of here" Adam said when he came to Sauli, and took his hand.

Sauli didn't have time to finish his tea and sandwich. But oh well. Once out, Adam let go of his hand so Sauli could unlock the car doors.

They sat in and Adam sighed heavily.

"Maybe I'm not meant to sing. Honestly. I could just give up and work in Starbucks for the rest of my life"

Sauli turned on the engine and glanced at Adam briefly before focusing on driving.

"Don't. If you knew how hard I worked to get here where I am now, you'd be surprised. Things don't walk to you. You have to walk to them. Things don't get themselves done if you just sit and wait" Sauli pointed out and rested a soothing hand on Adam's knee while they waited at the crossroads.

Adam smiled at the small touch but it faded soon.

"I know that. But it's frustrating when you try everything and it's still not good enough" He said and turned on the radio.

Sauli frowned sadly.

"Sometimes it's good to prepare yourself emotionally for the worst. You can't always get everything you want. Disappointments are part of life"

"I'm not a kid, I know that" Adam snapped, "I've gotten more disappointments than success. Whatever I try always fails. Call me pessimistic but it's true"

Sauli returned his hand on the wheel when he turned right from the crossroad.

"Things do that. It's more rare to actually get something right than failing everything. But the failing always stings. No matter how many times it has happened. And it's totally okay to express your grief. You can try again later. Every fail is a possibility"

Adam huffed. Wise words, huh. Cliche much?

"I've tried"

Sauli sighed again and glanced on his right to see Adam. He was face towards the window. It didn't take a lot to tell he was hiding his welled up eyes.

"Look, love... You should talk to Brian. You guys could really make awesome tunes together. Music people know Brian, he..."

"Brian hates me" Adam interrupted dramatically and continued his pouting, sinking further down on his seat. 

Sauli sighed and shook his head.

"Not true. Let's just say he hates our relationship. He works hard and he thinks you get privileges because you're my boyfriend. He doesn't hate you"

"Whatever. Even if he and I started working together I'd have to walk a lot because I don't have a license and yeah. Not working" Adam said very clearly and took a sip from his water bottle. Life is hard. And it sucks to be honest.

Sauli pursed out his lips.

"Well, you're 18... I'm 20. Almost 21. I could teach you how to drive"

Adam choked on his drink. He waited until he got his coughs under control.

"Uhm, no. I'm a horrible student because I get frustrated easily and secondly, I do not want to damage your car"

Sauli just grinned.

"My idea is awesome. I'll teach you. Please let me teach you pleaaaase Adam" He pouted, giving brief glances at Adam while driving.

"No" Adam said firmly, holding back a smile.

"I blow you every morning from tomorrow on" Sauli beamed and gave his best smile to Adam.

Adam could not refuse.

"When do we start?"

 

♥♥♥

 

Maybe Sauli was kidding with the blowjob every morning thing. His jaws weren't that strong.

But Adam still signed up to driving school after Sauli had listed all the privileges the license would bring to him.

Teaching Adam how to drive has been the trickiest thing in Sauli's life so far. Not only he had to pass some course to be able to teach but also Adam is a very impatient student.

Like he had said himself.

For the third time Sauli was sure he'll fly out of the window when Adam hit the brake.

"No, Adam. Not so hard so suddenly. You might hit your head against the wheel" 

It didn't even have to be due to hitting the brake, Adam dropped his head against the wheel anyway and faked a cry after he had stopped the car entirely.

"I hate this. Honestly. I'll just use public transport for the rest of my life"

"This is your second time driving. It's not like you need to be a professional already" Saului pointed out.

Adam raised his head and looked out of the window.

"I'm more worried about my patience than yours. You've warned me about the brake and reminded about the pedals and everything but I just don't remember" He whined and let his head fall against the wheel again, "And who makes the car bounce like crazy when starting up? Just punch me already"

Sauli's mouth twitched to a crooked smile.

"I did when I was learning. My car was out of control. People were just bouncing on the backseat. Drive there around the corner first" Sauli said and pointed the way, "Then we'll see where from there"

Adam sighed, raising his head again and he nodded. He would rather make a car bounce by some other reasons. See, his focus is already drifting away.

"Hey, Adam?"

"Hm?"

"You look hot behind the wheel"

Adam chuckled, closing his eyes and shook his head. Sauli has a weird ability to lighten his mood in seconds.

"Now when you start the car, remember where to put the shift selector. Where you will put it?"

"Uhm. Neutral?"

"Good. To be safe, make sure it's not in any gear. How can you make sure?"

"If the shift selector is like,,, stuck, it's in gear" Adam said, not sure if it was more of a question.

"Good. And then remember the far left pedal. And then you can go but don't make sudden moves with the pedal. Slowly" Sauli smiled, "Don't fuss. Focus"

Adam started the car smoothly. Like Sauli had given advice, he then moved the shift selector to get properly moving.

Sauli kind of slumped on his seat when they actually managed to move to the crossroad.

"Blinker, Adam"

"Right"

Small things but important to remember in traffic. As they got going, Sauli relaxed a bit. Adam can do lot of things if he just focuses on them properly. And trusts in himself too.

"Careful on the turn, you.... Woah!"

Okay, his heart is on the floor now. Not only he jumped on his seat but heard Adam gasp loudly too. First thing he did after the sudden stop was to make sure Adam was alright. When he saw that he was...

"Let's call it a day" He wheezed and hopped out of the car.

He almost like gasped for air for a few times and took a deep breath. Patience, Sauli, he told himself. It takes time. He wasn't that good of a driver either when he was learning.

"Changed your opinion yet?" He heard Adam ask.

Adam was leaning his forearms against the car roof and looked at Sauli over the car.

"No. I told you I..."

"I'm sorry"

"About what?"

"For being this difficult"

"No" Sauli said right away, "You're not. You did better this time. Switch places?"

Adam nodded.

They switched their places or Adam would have snapped at himself in a few minutes. Sauli started the car and heard a quiet sniff.

He glanced at Adam and saw him wipe his eyes.

"Oh my God, are you crying? It's not that big of a-"

"No. _No_. Not this" He chuckled, careful with his wiping so he wouldn't ruin the make-up he had on.

"What then?" Sauli asked gently.

"You. Not wanting to yank me by the hair or throw me against the wall the second I do something wrong. I don't know I... It's hard to explain" Adam said.

Sauli reached out to Adam's side of the car and just touched his face. He knows the soothing effect it has. Then he slid it down to take Adam's hand, keeping his eyes on the road of course.

"I'm not your father. I would rather kill myself than hurt you like that"

"I know" Adam whispered, squeezing Sauli's hand briefly before he let go since Sauli obviously needed it.

"Now since we're already here where nobody else is,,, I haven't christened this car yet" Sauli smiled, giving a meaningful, sultry glance at Adam.

They looked at each other for a few seconds until Sauli stopped the car and they both fumbled their seatbelts open. They got out of the car only to fumble back inside but only to the backseat to have more room.

Sauli flipped himself on his back on the seat and pulled Adam down between his legs. 

Car sex is only comfortable in movies. Sauli can already tell it because he kept slipping from the seat until he let his foot down against the floor to support him and if Adam tried to sit up on his pelvis, he'd hit his head. 

But oh well. It was still the hottest thing ever. Sauli used his blunt nails to gently scratch Adam's back from his neck to the waistband of his pants while they kissed.

Adam had his both hands on the sides of Sauli's face.

When Sauli was about to lower his pants, Adam lift him by the hips and threw his leg around his waist. Sauli let out a muffled moan when their groins touched and he grasped on Adam's ass.

Adam moaned quietly when Sauli rubbed his butt cheeks. He pulled away shortly and reached down to unbuckle Sauli’s belt and unzip his pants, and Sauli stopped fondling him to do exactly the same to him.

“Fuck. We have no lube” Sauli hissed.

Adam groaned.

“You kidding? Now you tell me that”

“I’m sorry,I- No! Stop doing that!” Sauli squealed when Adam tickled the sensitive skin low on his belly. Sauli reached down to pull Adam’s cock out and gave it a firm yet gentle squeeze to distract Adam. Adam gasped.

They were interrupted by a knock. They froze.

“This is the police”

Adam and Sauli shared a surprised yet horrified face. Where the fuck did he come? The area was empty just minutes ago.

Adam tucked his dick back in his pants, sat up and unlocked the door. It was pulled open immediately. The police officer became tense and cleared his throat.

“My apologies. I was sure there was something criminal going on”

Adam blushed and tried to avoid his stare while he buckled his belt. Sauli cleared his throat too and zipped up.

“No, absolutely nothing. I wasn’t molesting or violating anyone” Adam said in a calm voice.

“I was totally willing” Sauli informed. They somehow managed to get out of the car. Embarrassed, flushed and caught. The officer smiled, still looking sort of awkward.

“I’m sorry I interfered your,,, Encounter. I just had to make sure since I heard words of denial and some screaming”

Sauli smiled politely, his cheeks still pinkish.

“We understand. But there was absolutely nothing going against anyone’s will”

“I believe it. This may stay between us. Have a nice day” The police officer said and nodded at them, leaving them alone.

Adam and Sauli stood still for a few seconds before they exchanged a look.

“You know I’ve always kept the thought of getting caught hot… But this. This was way too scary” Adam said then, "My dick deflated"

Sauli nodded, agreeing. Then he burst into smile.

“What if we drive somewhere in the middle of nothing and try again?”

“Well that sounds like an idea. I’d like that” Adam smirked.

 

♥♥♥Sauli's birthday... ♥♥♥

 

Adam let the tray down on the nightstand as quietly as he could before he crawled on the bed and straddled Sauli's waist. He leaned down and pressed his lips against his ear.

"Happy birthday, Sauli" He murmured, pressing kisses along his jawline, "Is there anything I could possibly do to you right now or today in general?"

Sauli hummed happily. He didn't want to open his eyes or get up. He'd like to just lay there, have Adam's body on top of his own and be lazy.

But he did open his eyes. He loves the feeling he gets when the first thing he sees in the morning is Adam. Right in front of his eyes.

"Hmm, thank you" Sauli smiled sleepily, stroking Adam's hips with his thumbs, "My birthday is pretty much perfect already. I have my gorgeous, naked man straddling me"

Adam chuckled and sat up on Sauli's pelvis.

"You're just saying. I could have woken you up with a blowjob but my throat's still sore from the singing"

Sauli grinned and nodded understandingly. They've talked about the morning blow jobs and they are okay to them both. 

" 's fine. I’m glad you and Brian fit in the same studio"

Adam smiled at him,

"He’s cool when he’s not at work. He’s actually funny. But is there anything I could do instead of that blowjob you missed?" Adam asked in a sexy, low voice Sauli loved so much.

Sauli hummed.

"Can I have anything I ask?"

Adam smirked and shrugged.

"Maybe"

Sauli pursed out his lips and pondered. He could ask almost anything...

"Well" Sauli started out slowly, his fingers digging onto the soft flesh of Adam's thighs, "I could enjoy my breakfast with my lovely boyfriend and then I could enjoy my lovely boyfriend" He beamed.

Adam hummed in laughter and shook his head at Sauli. Is he real?

They felt the bed dip and something furry brushed Adam's leg. Who else but Fluffie.

He began to sniff Sauli's face happily before bringing his tongue out to lick his face. Sauli laughed and gently pushed him away while telling him 'no' in Finnish.

Fluffie turned to look at Adam but Adam shook his head at him before he could come closer but it seemed to do no help.

"Ow your nails are sharp" Adam squeaked and pushed him off, diving under the covers with Sauli to protect his bare sensitive skin.

"I think he needs to get out" Sauli said, "Can you let him out from the backdoor?"

"Me?" Adam squealed, "What if somebody walks by and sees my penis?"

Sauli laughed and tapped his thigh.

"Nobody would look at your dick if Fluffie is in the same space. Now go" Sauli laughed, poking Adam's side as he was getting up.

Adam giggled and got off the bed. He followed Fluffie to the back door and let him out to the backyard. Sauli usually takes a walk with him but now he seems to be in his birthday heaven.

When Adam returned, Sauli had taken the tray on his lap and was munching down the eggs.

"Come back here beautiful" Sauli grinned and tapped the mattress next to him.

Adam slid under the covers beside him.

“I got my official license from the post today” He told Sauli.

“Oh? Now stay alert LA” Sauli joked and pecked Adam on the cheek, “That’s great. Now it’s easier for you to move in LA”

Adam hummed in agreement.

When Sauli had eaten the eggs and drank the juice Adam had learned to made, he thanked Adam and grabbed him firmly by the waist and pushed him on his back on the bed. 

He took a hold of Adam’s wrists and pushed them above his head and kept them pinned there.

“What comes to your offer… I already have the best thing I could wish right here in front of me. The most gorgeous and loveliest man in the world” Sauli smiled and kissed Adam’s jaw, ear and neck, “But I’d be very happy if I could have _this_ " he hissed, cupping Adam's plush ass in his palms.

“Yes” Adam said quietly, out of breath, “Yes” he repeated more clearly, “Please”

“You’re the best gift” Sauli murmured, “First I really need to pee though"

Adam snorted, letting go of Sauli. He staid on the bed, wiggling his toes and flexing his arms until Sauli came back. 

When he did, he slid back between Adam's knees and kissed his chin. 

"I feel like I have a birthday every day when I'm with you. I love you so much"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to be quick with the next chapter. If I have internet connection...


	29. Right there 2.0

"You're the sappiest thing I know" Adam teased. Sauli hissed playfully and nipped the thin skin of Adam's neck.

"I'm trying to be serious here. I’m expressing my deepest feelings and you call me a sap" he said, pulling on a small pout.

"Sowwy" Adam said, biting back a smile that so much wanted to break through his lips. This is something he loves so much in their relationship. Even though he feels a bit giggly at the moment, he knows that Sauli knows he isn’t making fun of him.

"I'll eat you. Just so you know" Sauli whispered, letting go of Adam's wrists and instead grabbed his legs, throwing them around his hips not so gingerly.

Adam wrapped them firmly around him.

Sauli cupped Adam's face and dropped himself down. Skin to skin he brought their lips together.

Adam tightened his long legs around Sauli's slim waist immediately and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, humming into the kiss.

Sauli values the times he gets to top. He doesn't get those opportunities too often now when Adam has found his place in the bedroom.

It's not like it's a definite 'no' for him to give in and let Sauli have the control. He just feels more him on top and he loves doing it. 

Sauli pulled away. He sat back on his heels and pulled, more of like lifted, Adam's pelvis on his thighs so he could have access to his hole. 

He reached towards the nightstand and opened the drawer, pulling out a small tube of his favorite lube. Oh yes, he has a favorite one.

"Do you want me or yourself to...?"

"You can. Of course" Adam said quietly, his cheeks flushing.

Sauli smiled, 

"It's funny how your persona just changes when you don't run the situation. There's this certain uncertainty in your eyes" He spoke softly and opened the lubricant tube. 

Adam chuckled nervously. Yes, he knows that. Sauli spurted some lube on his fingers and dropped them between Adam's legs, past his cock and balls, to his entrance.

He rubbed his hole gingerly to loosen it a bit. He felt heat coil in his stomach when Adam's hole fluttered under his touch.

Adam clutched the pillowcase and closed his eyes, gasping. It still makes him blush to feel himself loosen up due to Sauli's stimulation. Even though they had done it before. He has felt it many times.

Sauli used just one finger so long until he felt he could add another one. He scissored the hole gently, tearing whimpers out of Adam's throat.

"Don't hold back, I want to hear you..." Sauli whispered, sliding off from under Adam's pelvis and lay next to him.

He managed to keep opening Adam up while pressing kisses to his neck and jaw, going towards his delicate lips. He pressed their lips together and pushed Adam's lips open with his tongue, sliding it inside his mouth. Adam swirled his own tongue around his.

It was Sauli's turn to moan. Adam's tongue is something indescribable.

Sauli added a third finger, stretching Adam's hole some more. He can't wait to be in that wonderful tight heat. It's a whole another world of pleasure.

Adam placed his hands on both sides of Sauli's head and pulled him away from his mouth. His eyelids felt heavy when he watched Sauli's dark eyed and rosy lips.

"Fuck me. Fuck me so fucking hard I can't walk" He hissed.

Sauli almost came in his briefs right then and there. He never gets tired of hearing those two words from Adam and hello,,, A few words added. Sauli will pound him so hard.

He pulled his fingers out and got rid of his briefs. Why was he still wearing them in a first place? He got back between Adam's bent legs for a better access.

Adam's eyes dropped to Sauli's hard cock, hard and lusting for him. Adam had to wrap his fingers around his own cock, lying prominently against his stomach, to ease the pressure just a bit. He ran his thumb over the wet tip, making himself hiss and buck his hips.

"Hands off, bunny" Sauli groaned playfully and slapped Adam's hand off, "Leave that to me"

Adam pouted. He watched as Sauli lubed his own cock. He spread his legs wider, suddenly shameless under Sauli's gaze. Some weird confidence boost always gets him after he gets horny enough. And seeing Sauli's lust for him... Oh yeah. He could definitely do this more often.

"Are you even real?" Sauli asked, guiding the head of his cock to Adam's hole.

Adam smirked.

Sauli teased Adam's entrance with his cock. Adam couldn't help but notice how his precum dribbled on him.

He glanced down.

"Sauli... Condom?"

"Do you trust me?" Sauli asked whispering, nudging Adam's hole gently with his cock. Adam was shocked. Not exactly in a negative way.

"I..."

"We can use it if you want to, of course. But we could also-"

"Yes. Yes" Adam said right away, cupping Sauli's face, "I trust in you. And you can trust in me"

Sauli smiled and kissed Adam's upper lip. Not only kissed but pulled on it and sucked on it briefly.

"I know. And I do"

Sauli guided his cock inside of Adam and threw his legs around his waist. No matter how many times he had done it, doing it without a condom was all different.

All Adam felt was skin. Nothing between. They both moaned at the sensational feeling and Adam wrapped his arms tightly around Sauli.

"Oh god... You feel so good..." Sauli panted. He was still, just enjoying the feeling around him.

Adam didn't say anything, just tried to control a huge urge to moan and groan and buck towards Sauli.

Sauli started thrusting. Slowly at first, like always. That's how he gets both of them to the feeling. And Adam used to having something inside.

"Didn't I tell you to do me hard?" Adam reminded between his heavy breaths, "I'm not made of porcelain"

Sauli dropped his head down to Adam's neck crook and took a few deep breaths while thrusting slowly. If that's what Adam wants, of course he'll get it too.

Sauli nipped his neck, hard enough to wake that pleasurable thrill of slight pain in Adam's body. He gasped, baring more of his neck and throat.

Sauli still didn't rush to the faster pace. He added speed slowly, keeping the thrusts light.

He supported his body only by his other arm. His free hand he used to caress and grope Adam's chest. He pinched and tweaked his both nipples, making Adam drew in a sharp breath.

Adam brought his hands up and grabbed the headboard of the bed, his body completely in Sauli's control.

He felt so clearly how Sauli's foreskin moved with his thrusts, creating a feeling he has only been able to dream of until now.

Sauli thrust faster, more powerful. He nibbled Adam's earlobe and the pants that brushed his ear sent shivers throughout Adam's body.

Sauli craved to see the scene happening below. He pulled away from Adam's ear and rose properly on his knees between his legs.

He used his hands to spread Adam's legs wider apart. He fondled his inner thighs near his crotch.

He glanced at Adam's face shortly. To his surprise, he was also looking down at the part where their bodies joined.

Fuck, Sauli thought. He watched as his cock disappeared into Adam on each thrust. Adam started moving his hips as well, meeting Sauli's thrusts. Sauli's cock hit him deeper and deeper and more close to his-

"Ah fuck...!" Adam yelped, seeing stars as Sauli hit his prostate, "Right there" He whimpered.

Sauli smirked while thrusting. He tried to thrust as deep as he just did to nudge Adam's sweet spot. He managed okay he thought as he listened Adam's broken moans,

"Don't freaking stop...." Adam groaned, desperately bucking his hips to get a hit against his spot but also to rub his aching cock against Sauli's abs.

He clenched his muscles, tearing a loud moan out of Sauli.

"Just touch me, please..." He whimpered.

Sauli wrapped his fingers around Adam's hard shaft. He started stroking lightly but fast. He didn't want Adam to come just yet.

Adam whimpered, frustrated. He felt the burn low in his stomach, his balls tight against his body, his orgasm was right there.

"You're an edging creep..." Adam muttered but all he got back was Sauli's coy smile before he felt a pair of lips against his own.

"No. I just want us to come together" Sauli panted after the short kiss they shared.

Adam nodded.

Sauli pulled away once again and staid on his knees, thrusting into the sweet heat he felt around him. More real than ever, not a layer of latex between. Not even a thin one.

It was hard to focus on two things so he just ended up rubbing Adam's cock from base to tip. He might have fondled his balls a bit too.

"Can you... Can you lifr your legs? On my shoulders?" Sauli asked, stroking Adam's thighs.

"Yeah, I can... I can try..." Adam panted, lifting his legs with a little help from Sauli.

"Oh fuck, you're flexible..." Sauli groaned, propping his arms in the pits of Adam's knees and leaned back down to kiss him.

Adam finally let go of the headboard and wrapped his arms around Sauli, holding on to him tightly. Sauli swallowed each moan and whimper Adam made, the sounds absolutely delicious. 

Adam's cock was snug between their hot bodies, begging for a simple touch of release. It wa twitching, throbbing and god damn, _aching_.

Sauli's thrusts turned erratic. Sharply and strongly he hit Adam's prostate on each time. He knew it because of the way Adam writhed beneath him, desperate to come, and his sounds went an octave higher.

"Can I come inside you?" Sauli asked whispering.

"Yes" Adam whimpered, "Please do... Please come inside me..."

Those words sent a wave of warmth and pleasure through Sauli's body. Both physical and emotional.

"So fucking close..." He panted.

He thrust deep inside of Adam and came hard, shooting powerfully inside the slick heat around him. 

Adam felt the warm gush inside of him. It didn't feel that much of anything physically but emotionally it felt amazing. Although it was hot to feel Sauli come inside of him and think about how his cum will leak out of him. 

Sauli kissed Adam's cheek, lips and chin, lazily and lovingly.

"Sauli... "

"I know" Sauli sushed, gently moving Adam's legs off his shoulders. He slid lower between Adam's bent legs and faced his hard, flushed cock.

Adam looked down, seeing Sauli smile up at him. Sauli took his throbbing cock into his mouth and wrapped his fingers around the exposed shaft he couldn't fit in his mouth.

"O-oh..." Adam gasped, his back arching to a smooth curve, "I'm gonna come..."

Sauli didn't pull away. He sucked and pumped until Adam was filling his mouth with his hot cum. Sauli swallowed the familiar taste. Some of it he let dribble down his chin simply because he was not able to swallow it all.

Adam doesn't mind.

He dragged his hand once from the base to the tip, milking one last drop out of Adam. Adam whimpered in protest when Sauli tickled the tip of his cock.

Finally he sighed blissfully when Sauli stopped playing with his over-sensitive flesh. Yet of course Sauli kissed the tip of his cock lovingly before he crawled up to share a kiss with Adam.

Adam kissed back willingly, not startling his own taste. When they pulled away, Adam just smiled and wiped his cum off Sauli's chin.

Sauli smiled back at him and slumped fully on top of his amazing lover.

"That was amazing. Best thing ever..." He said quietly, "You'll make a mess later though" He beamed and reached down between Adam's legs and touched the edges of his hole where he felt his own cum starting to dribble down.

"Too bad" Adam smiled, "Because we'll be doing that again" He said, rolling them over and straddled Sauli's body, "And then it'll be my cum dribbling from you"

"Deal" Sauli grinned. Adam kissed him right away.

"I love you" Adam whispered, nuzzling Sauli's neck, "Don't ever leave me"

Sauli tangled his fingers in Adam's hair and kissed his temple.

"Wasn't planning on doing that" He murmured, stroking the sweaty damp hair beneath his fingers, "Love you so much you don't even know"

 

♥♥♥

 

Sauli couldn't let go of Adam even when he was brushing his teeth in the morning.  
He was clinging onto him. Cheek pressed against Adam's back.

"I'm not going anywhere, you know" Adam chuckled after he had rinsed his mouth.

"Mmm, I know" Sauli said, “But I enjoy your warmth”

"I've noticed" Adam smiled, "But I'll be in the studio for only a few hours. Then I'll come to the agency" He said and moved Sauli's hands off his stomach and returned to their bedroom.

Sauli followed him and watched as he started putting on his new pair of pants. Could his pants get any tighter? How do his balls even breathe?

"You do two projects at the same time. Careful not to burn out" Sauli reminded and sat on the bed, still looking at Adam.

Adam laughed.

"My time in the studio certainly isn't a 'project'. More like a beloved hobby. I'm still officially working in Sunny Stars" He said and zipped up his pants.

Sauli pursed out his lips. If he says so.

Adam put on a black dress shirt and left it half way open. He put on a few necklaces and a few wrist bracelets.

"You look eatable" Sauli informed, "How do I dare to let you get in the studio with all those people?"

Adam giggled and sat on an armchair to pull on his socks. Well, none of the guys there are gay and only female there will be Bonnie.

"Don't worry. I bet they all drool the only lady there rather than me" Adam said and watched as Sauli started dressing up too.

He went with his red jeans and black T-shirt today. Sauli can wear anything and it always looks good.

"Maybe they'd secretly go gay for you" Sauli grinned, "Don't we all have at least one person we'd go straight or gay for?"

Adam cocked his eyebrow and got up from his chair, walking up to Sauli who was putting on his rings.

"Who would you go straight for?"

"If the world had a female you or if you decided to change sex" Sauli beamed. The best answer you could give when asked that. Adam chuckled and leaned down to peck Sauli's lips. Sauli's being an ass kisser.

A phone call interrupted them. It was Adam's.

Adam grabbed his cell from the nightstand and picked up. Sauli continued dressing up and went to do his hair. Maybe some curling would be fine.

"MOM! Stop treating me like a kid, I'm eighteen!"

Sauli chuckled in the bathroom, waiting for the straightening iron to warm up. He doesn't want full curls so this iron is the best way to go now.

He listened Adam's whining about being old enough to take care of himself without her always making it sure and that he's doing generally fine.

"I go to a therapy, mom. I still have to be strict with what I eat but I'm fine"

Adam appeared in the bathroom and pointed at the clock, then his hair. Sauli snickered and put his iron down for a second. He took the mousse and started doing Adam's hair.

Adam has to use like half of the hairpsray before his thick hair stays up but Sauli used the mousse too. It makes it look better, more smooth.

"Okay, fiiiine. I'll ask him" Adam said, "Mom wants to make some dinner. You up for having a date with her later?"

"Sure. My day ends at 4pm" Sauli smiled and put the mousse down on the counter, picking up the hairspray.

"He said yes. Now if you excuse me I'm going to be late, BYE" Adam said loudly and hung up.

Sauli chuckled while spraying Adam's hair.

"Don't be rude to your mom"

"I'm not being rude. But she treats me like a kid!" Adam squealed, "I'm not 15 or 16, I'm 18"

"Well, aren't you old then? So adult. You didn't even know how to pay the bills online" Sauli teased and put the hairspray on the counter too, "Done"

Adam didn't say anything, he just threw Sauli up on his shoulder and walked out of the bathroom.

"ADAM! Let me down! My iron is still on!"

"Oh I'll let you down in a second" Adam informed and let Sauli down on the bed. He crawled on the bed too and pinned Sauli down by straddling his hips.

"You are excellent at paying the bills" Sauli said seriously but Adam just laughed.

"No, I'm totally not. But I'm excellent at this..." Adam smiled, locking their lips.

Oh yeah. You're very excellent at that, Sauli thought in his head. Sauli's hands started roaming on Adam's back and ass even though he knew they'd both have to go soon.

Sauli fought against his wants and took a hold of the sides of Adam's head, pushing him away.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked, "Always when you know we don't have time"

"Because I'm out of control when it comes to you?"

"No. Because you like to tease" Sauli informed and gently pushed Adam off his body, "Shit! There is no way I have time to do my hair. I have a photohoot today anyway so maybe that's fine"

Adam just grinned and went for the closet where he kept all his shoes. He chose regular sneakers without a heel. Rick Owens of course.

Sauli went to turn off the straightening iron and made his way downstairs. Adam came down right after him.

"You can drive" Sauli said and threw the car keys to Adam. Adam caught them.

He waited Sauli to put his shoes and jacket on. Sauli gave a few taps on Fluffie's back and told him they'll see again later.

"Now let's go"

♥♥♥

The day was pretty regular for both of them. Adam had a few hours in the studio and Sauli was running from one place to another.  
It was 4.10pm when they left the agency.

Adam was driving again since Sauli hasn't visited Adam's childhood home yet. Leila told him his father was on a work trip so he wasn't home.

But Adam was able to see Neil after such a long time. Although being stuck in traffic jam was not fun by any means.

Adam was tapping his fingers against the wheel while Sauli was staring at him. He knew it and saw it from the corner of his eye.

"You make me feel unease. Stop staring" Adam said but Sauli didn't want to hear.

"You know what's always been my secret fantasy?"

Adam cocked his eyebrow and glanced at Sauli.

"Please, do tell me"

"I rather show you" Sauli grinned and unfastened his own seatbelt, taking a different position on his seat. Adam was caught off guard when Sauli reached for the zipper of his pants.

"What are you...?!" Adam hissed, automatically looking out of the car windows to see if anyone was looking towards them.

Adam looked down at Sauli's hands which were groping his cock out of his pants.

"Someone could see!" He hissed more loudly and tried to protest but then he felt Sauli's warm breeze of breath against the tip of his cock.

"The windows are tinted so you can relax" Sauli smiled and took Adam's mostly soft cock into his mouth. Adam shuddered when he started sucking gently and pumping the shaft with his hand.

"You and your fantasies... Will get us killed..." He said and dropped his other hand from the wheel and put it on Sauli's head.

He ran his fingers through his blonde locks.

"I feel you like it just as much... You're hardening fast"

"Don't talk when your mouth's full" Adam playfully commanded and let his head relax against the backrest. 

Sauli wanted to grin but didn't. He didn't want to scrape Adam's fragile flesh with his teeth. Sauli deep-throated Adam. His nose was almost pressed against his reddish pubes.

Adam's hips twitched in a small movement. He had to fight against the urge to buck his hips more. He didn't want to choke his boyfriend.

Sauli pulled away shortly, leaving as much of the shaft as he could in his mouth without choking. He kept sucking eagerly. Sometimes he wonders why sucking a cock is so fucking hot and pleasant. The answer is probably Adam.

His cock is big enough to leave Sauli’s jaw sore every time he has blown him. Even though Sauli can’t take all of it in his mouth, it still fits perfectly.

Such a perfect warmth and weight on his tongue. Sauli hummed in pleasure, sending these small vibrations through Adam’s cock.

“Fuck the line’s moving” Adam groaned, grabbing on the steering wheel, “We’re going to crash”

Sauli didn’t stop. He just slowed down a bit. He bobbed his head slowly, lips tight against Adam’s hard flesh.

It was enough to make Adam buck his hips repeatedly. His focus on the road was so not that what they told him in the driving school.

Once they stopped at the lights, Adam glanced down again. Fuck, there was his precum dribbling down Sauli’s chin.

Sauli peeked up into his eyes and pulled away from his lusting cock. He didn’t break the eye contact when he swirled his tongue around the head of Adam’s cock.

Adam moaned at the feeling. Also at the sight.

Sauli pressed his tongue against the underside of Adam’s cock where he knew Adam had a pleasure trigger.

Adam whined a bit. It was so sensitive it was almost bad but still so, so good. 

When they started moving, Adam returned his eyes on the road. It was close he didn’t close them when Sauli pushed his hand inside his pants and fondled his balls and sucked his dick at the same time.

Adam jerked his hips again. Accidentally. It caused his foot to press a little too hard on the gas.

“Shit…!”

“Don’t get us killed” Sauli murmured between his sucking.

“Oh, it’s totally your fault” Adam hissed, “Make me come now”

Like that wasn’t Sauli’s goal in the first place. He started sucking harder again and squeezed Adam’s balls gently before rolling them between his fingers.

They were going to die. Adam was sure of it. All the time he felt he wasn’t able to keep his eyes open. He’d like to just spread his legs and close his eyes, give his body to Sauli.

But he obviously couldn’t.

Sauli pulled away to breathe but kept rubbing Adam’s cock against his lips and cheeks. His stubble felt harsh against the skin.

The tip was oozing of pre-cum and Sauli took the head into his mouth to catch that delicious taste. The taste of Adam.

“I’m close… I don’t wanna make a mess” Adam whispered, feeling his orgasm coil in his stomach.

Sauli hummed in agreement.

No cum stains in his car. And no sticky hair since they’re going to see Leila. Sauli took him into his mouth and jerked the exposed shaft with his thumb and forefinger rather quickly.

Thank god they turned on the road where the traffic jam wasn’t so bad.

Sauli’s jaw felt locked so he pulled away to pop it right. And just then Adam came with a loud and shameless moan, shooting powerlessly on Sauli’s face.

“Oh fuck, sorry!” He managed to stutter out through his lovely orgasm.

Sauli just smiled and placed his mouth lightly against the head when he pumped the last few drops into his mouth.

“Stop, stop, stop…” Adam hissed, the sensations way too strong to bear anymore. Sauli obeyed and reached out to take a tissue out of the glove compartment.

Gently he wiped Adam’s cock and tucked him back into his pants, zipped up and buckled his belt.

Then he pulled away and sat back on his seat, fastening his own seatbelt. He pulled another tissue from the glove compartment and wiped his face.

He was grinning.

Adam glanced at him briefly.

“You know I can’t get you off. We’re at my mom’s place soon”

“I know” Sauli beamed, “That’s fine. It’s my turn when we get home”

“I promise” Adam smirked, “And shit, you have my cum on the collar of your shirt. And fuck your hair!”

Sauli checked from the mirror. Oh well.

“Well, this will be awkward”

“You think?” Adam squeaked, “It’s my mom!”

They were quiet for a minute. Then they just started laughing. Well, fuck, sometimes life happens.

 

♥♥♥

 

Leila had definitely noticed the stains. Adam knew it because she gave an odd look at Sauli’s shirt when they were enjoying their dinner. But Adam and Sauli tried to ignore it. That happens, right?

“It was great to see Neil” Adam said then to break the awkward tension.

Leila’s face lightened up.

“He has missed you! He’d been bored without his brother. He missed your fights”

Adam chuckled.

“Me too. It’s been boring not to be able to fight with anyone” He said and put some more salad on his plate.

“You guys don’t fight at all?” Leila asked and glanced at them both.

“Not much” Sauli admitted, “Of course we have small arguments. We spend almost 24/7 with each other so of course. But nothing big”

Adam nodded, agreeing.

“Wow” Leila smiled, “I can’t imagine. Adam pouts so much”

“Hey!” Adam whined but Sauli just chuckled and tapped his thigh.

“He does. But that’s pouting. Not arguing. And he gets bored to it fast” Sauli smiled and put his fork and knife on the plate to tell he has eaten enough.

Adam rolled his eyes when Leila laughed.

“What plans do you guys have? Anything special going on?” Leila asked, curious.

“Not much. I’m recording my own music with Sauli’s co-worker who’s professional in music. But that’s pretty much all” Adam said and also finished his dinner.

Leila nodded.

“Will you guys stay overnight? Eber won’t be home in three days”

Adam and Sauli glanced at each other. Could they be one evening without having sex? Maybe they could.

“Sure. But we don’t have any stuff with us” Sauli said and Leila started scratching her head.

“Well, to me it seems you guys are past the condoms” She said, staring at the stain on Sauli’s shirt.

They both went red. How can someone’s mom say that?!

“Not that kind of stuff!” Adam hissed, his cheeks burning, “Will you stop trying to embarrass us?”

Leila just laughed.

“Talking about embarrassment” She said and got up, “Adam, will you clean up the table while I grab a photo album and see it through with Sauli?”

Adam groaned. There it goes. He hasn’t yet braced him for the embarrassing stories Leila will tell Sauli. Even though he knew this moment would come.

“Now you come with me” Leila said and tapped Sauli’s shoulder.

“Sure you don’t need any help, Adam?” Sauli still asked his boyfriend.

Adam just chuckled,

“Just go”

Sauli followed Leila to the living room and sat on the couch to wait while Leila went to seek for an album. He already saw a few baby pictures of Adam in the bookshelf.

What a cutie he was as a baby.

“Alright” Leila said when she came back and sat next to him, “Let’s start from the very beginning when I had just given birth to Adam”

Sauli grinned widely when he saw just born Adam. So small and wrinkly.

“Adam’s nature came clear already when… “

Sauli had just turned to look at Adam who was cleaning the table. Leila’s story went from one ear and out of the other one.

Leila nudged him with an elbow.

“Oh, sorry. You were saying?”

Leila just laughed. She’s so happy to see that loving look from Sauli to her son. Adam had noticed the situation and smiled himself.

“I was saying Adam’s nature came clear already when he was a newborn baby. He had a loud voice and he got cranky when he didn’t get what he wanted”

“Sounds like him” Sauli laughed and looked at all the photos on the album opening.

“True” Leila smiled and turned a page.

She saw Adam appear to them as well. He sat on the armrest of the couch on Sauli’s side.

“I’m not sure do I want to hear all you’re going to say but” He cringed.

“Yes you do. I haven’t even started yet”

 

Leila kept telling all the possible stories from funny to sad ones. They had laughed and cried and Adam had cringed in embarrassment too.

Leila explaining about him running naked already as a child was like,,, just no. And Sauli had said he still does it sometimes.

“Just wait until I’m hearing stories about you” Adam said and poked Sauli on the side.

Sauli laughed and squirmed at the touch.

“Lucky my mom doesn’t know English”

“No fair” Adam pouted.

Leila turned a page again. They were already at the second album where Adam was around 4 and 5.

In the middle of Leila’s story, Sauli heard Adam drew in a loud breath before he started coughing a few times.

He glanced up to see him rubbing his chest.

“You okay?” He asked right away and just touched his leg.

“Yeah” Adam said immediately, “My heart just leaped in a weird way. It does it sometimes”

“A few extra hits here and there, Sauli. Don’t you get them too sometimes?” Leila asked with a gentle smile when he saw the clear worry in his eyes.

She loves the way Sauli worries about Adam. He’d probably take him to the hospital even if Adam just cut his finger.

“Well, yeah but…”

“I’m fine, Sauli. When are you going to believe that?” Adam asked softly and took Sauli’s hand into his, “Past is past”

 Leila tried not to stare when Sauli kissed Adam’s hand and sat a little closer to him.

“Okay then. As I was saying, Adam was always browsing my make-up bag. Always. He carried my supplements everywhere and all my eyeliners were blunt. I let him do that for a while. But then I got really pissed with it and I told him; ‘Adam, stay away from my make-up! It’s mine!’ Then he looked at me with those eyes of his and I thought oh my, how am I able to tell him no”

There it goes again. Sauli ‘aww’ed and glanced at Adam.

“Now let me tell you about the naked butt incident"

“Mom…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PENIS!  
> Okay guys. I haven't warned you beforehand but this fic will come to its end after the next chapter.  
> 30 chapters. No more, no less.  
> Thank you so much for keeping up with this story! This fic is like my prettiest baby okay.  
> IF you guys want and ask really, really nicely, I just might write a sequel when the time comes... :)
> 
> Last chapter up maybe in a week. I want it to be perfect.


	30. For a thousand years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty guys. This is it. The last chapter of Strike a Pose.

**Two months later...**

 

Brian took the headphones off and showed his thumbs up at Adam who stood behind the glass. 

"That's a wrap. You can come out" He said through the microphone. He did the finishing touches with the recording Adam just did.

He and Adam turned out to be fine partners in studio and they became friends too after the awkward beginning was over.

"It sounds okay now. But not quite there, man. You wanna take the recording to Sauli for listen to?" Brian asked when Adam came out of the booth.

Adam sat on the couch next to Bonnie and nodded.

"Sure. I bet he'd love to hear it" He smiled.

Brian nodded,

"Okay I'll put it into your ipod if you may"

"Sure" Adam said, reaching for his bag and browsed it through to find his ipod. He handed it to Brian.

Sauli is so honest with him. He surely tells him if the song isn't catchy or good enough in general when his mother just tries to please him with her opinions.

Bonnie scooted next to Adam and snapped a selfie.

"Warn me next time" Adam chuckled, running his fingers through his product free hair, "I look like a mess"

"Aww, no you don't" Bonnie cooed, showing the pic to Adam, "We'd make a pretty baby"

Adam just chuckled and shook his head at her.

"Tell Sauli to be honest with you. We need to know what to change if necessary" Brian said when he gave the ipod back to Adam after he had put the song into it.

"I don't need to tell him that, he will be anyway" Adam smiled, "He isn't afraid to sound blunt"

"I can totally believe that" Brian said, switching off the computer, "But he usually just seems like he doesn't want to hurt you by any means"

Adan laughed. Like what he just heard was totally ridiculous.

"Well, he will tell me if my song sucks. He has said it before. He's honest with me" Adam said and lift his legs on the couch as well, kicking them on Bonnie's lap, "But it's a little different to hate my song than call me fat. I know he would never say that even if it was true"

Brian felt a bit guilty then. He looked down for a few seconds before he spun his chair around.

"You know... We didn't get along very well in the beginning. I hated how Sauli always brought you up in everything. Like none of us others mattered anymore. It was always ‘Adam this, Adam that, Adam could this’"

Bonnie glanced at them both, clearly feeling she shouldn't be here. She moved Adam's feet off her lap and told them she needs her girl break.

They nodded at her.

"I didn't wanna replace anyone. Or make anyone feel less important" Adam replied to Brian, "I was and still am an amateur compared to all of you guys"

Which is true. Modeling is okay but it's not his _thing_. He was happy to earn money with it but he wishes other things to happen soon. 

"Not exactly an amateur anymore. I mean I get Sauli. He was and is head over heels in love with you. I'm not good at this deep stuff" Brian admitted, his elbows against his knees, "But... I didn't know about your,, eating disorder. And I just kept bashing you. I should have-"

Adam shook his head at him frantically, shaking off whatever he was trying to blame on himself.

"I was anorexic when I was like 13. It kept going on and on for like two years. Then it developed into bulimia. I had it already when I met Sauli. It wasn't the fault of my job, the fashion industry or _any_ of the employees" Adam reassured, pressuring the word 'any'.

Brian just nodded. Whatever Adam says. 

Adam continued;

"Just because you all know now I am a recover, I don't want you to hassle around me. I'm okay, more okay than in years. So just stop doing it. It makes me feel helpless, pathetic and fragile. Just stop" 

Brian was quiet for a second, blinking as he didn't expect Adam to talk that many words in a row. 

"Whatever you want, man" He said then, "But I'm still sorry. And don’t tell me not to be"

"I know. But I'm fine. At least I'm getting there"

Brian nodded,

“So… Shall we finish these songs?”

“Definitely” Adam grinned.

 

♥♥♥

 

Adam giggled when Sauli flicked his tongue around his belly button. Sauli can't get over his laughter. The fatigue he felt minutes ago has drifted away already. He could stay awake for hours and hours more right now and just play with Adam's skin. 

Especially his belly button.

"I remember the times you didn't want me near this area... You had these scars," Sauli whispered, tracing his fingers over each of them, "And you thought you were fat"

"Well, ain't I a lit-"

"Hush. Don't you dare to say a word" Sauli said gently, "You're perfect. I know you don't believe but you are"

Adam smiled a little. 

Sauli pressed two more kisses on his stomach and crawled back up. He lay beside Adam and threw his leg over his hips.

"Can I ask you something?"

Adam wrapped his arm around Sauli and held him close.

"Anything"

"How did you,,, become bulimic back in the days?"

The question was careful. Sauli wasn't sure should he bring it up even though it's been a long time. Adam is over it. At least he claims he is. 

"It's a long story. There wasn't just one reason or even two. There were plenty" Adam said and circled his fingers in Sauli's blonde locks. 

Sauli had his hand on Adam's chest and he felt his heartbeat get faster due to their conversation. It's still probably a thing he's ashamed of, on some level. They said it might take a year or even more to recover if the situation has been bad.

"When dad started to be what he has been the last few years, I started to feel really insecure and ashamed of myself. First I felt like I wanted to vanish. I didn't eat at all. Once alone at home I was so hungry I- I wolfed down a whole..." Adam stopped talking, his mouth open but nothing came out, "I can't talk about this, I can't" He said, shaking his head.

Sauli took Adam's left hand and squeezed it into his, bringing it down on Adam's chest as well.

"Not about the details" Adam added then because he can talk about his past with Sauli. But he can't focus on the details. He's still so embarrassed and he doesn’t like to bring the attention to him all the time.

"Do they still hurt you?"

Adam nodded honestly.

"I think they always will. At some level. But I generally still feel that I could accidentally relapse. I'm not out of the woods yet, I know it. Every time I get a stomach ache I get freaked, each time my heart skips a beat I freak out" Adam said quietly and squeezed Sauli tighter against his body "I would have killed myself. Sooner or later. And I don't know would I be able to go through this without you"

Sauli glanced up at Adam's face before he dropped his eyes back down and stared at the wall. If he has to be in the States, mostly in New York and in Europe, for the next three months and Adam has work in LA, Sauli will worry his heart out.

"I know what you think. I'll be fine. We'll see each other every second week"

"It's a long time. Not only by the fact that you're alone in LA but also in general. I'm going to miss you" Sauli said, moving upwards a bit to bring his forehead against the crook of Adam's neck, "It's the longest amount of time we've been apart since we met"

"I'm going to miss you too" Adam said, wrapping his both arms around Sauli's figure, "But I'm not alone. Tommy is with me. And so are Isaac and Kevin. Although I don't know them that well yet they’re cool. And of course Danielle and Alisan are here. I've gotten friends, Sauli. I'm not alone anymore"

Friends. Sauli hummed with a little smile. 

"Brian would have stayed with you but I need him in New York with me. And Ashley as well" Sauli said thoughtfully and climbed on Adam's body again, straddling his hips, "Should I be mad at you because you steal my employees?"

"I'm not stealing anyone" Adam chuckled, "I'm promoting music no one has heard yet. So would Brian and Ash even have stayed with me? I doubt it"

Sauli kept his lips in a tight line and shrugged.

"They love music. They've just always lacked a vocalist" Sauli informed and traced Adam's thick eyebrows with his fingertip, "You guys would make a good group"

Adam imagined he could see some sadness behind those blue eyes of Sauli. Perhaps a little fear too.

"I'm not stealing your employees. Or your friends. I've just gotten close with them too. They won't abandon the agency. Or you"

Sauli shrugged, brushing his finger over the bridge and tip of Adam's nose. 

"I won't blame them if they will. I've always told them to follow their dreams" He said quietly, cupping Adam's cheeks because he felt like he can't stop touching him, "But let's not worry about that now. Time shows. Right now I have other things in mind"

"Oh?" Adam smiled, managing to spread his legs some more so Sauli could lay properly between them, "Like what?"

Sauli hummed when he pretended to think about it. 

"Like a small game"

”You and your games. Do you have a whole drawer full of sex games?” Adam teased and glanced towards the nightstand. 

“Who said anything about sex?” Sauli asked innocently which made Adam cock his eyebrow. Sauli is not fooling him at this point, they've datez long enough for Adam to know Sauli like the back of his hands.

“Fine! Sutan gave it to me some time ago” Sauli said and reached towards his nightstand to take the said game out of the drawer, “Basically they’re just questions. They show how well we know each other and how much we remember from our time together. From favorite color to favorite sex position. And that’s why it’s only for couples” He grinned and took the cards out of the small box.

He gave half of them to Adam and rest of them he kept himself. Adam chuckled affectionately; This could be really fun. 

“You start” Sauli said.

“Okay” Adam replied, reading the question, “What’s my favorite dessert?”

“Ice cream” Sauli beamed, fixing his position because Adam’s belt buckle dug cruelly to his bare stomach. Adam grunted as Sauli moved and he was pretty sure Sauli was doing it on purpose.

“You want to make me hard?”

“No” Sauli said, clearly biting back a grin. Adam rolled his eyes. Of course he doesn't want to make him hard. He didn't want to make him hard when he rubbed Adam's inseam during a dinner with friends. 

“My turn. Where did I grow up?” Sauli asked. 

Adam closed his eyes and sighed. It’s that fucking place in Finland which name has the weird letters with dots.

“You grew up in,,, Hyvinkae”

Sauli pursed out lips and nodded, not wanting to laugh at Adam’s pronounciation though his face probably gave him in.

“Yes. That’s right”

Adam read his second question,

“When did we kiss for the first time?”

Sauli thought about it for a minute. He remembers the moment but when exactly was that?

“It was,,, It was the day when I showed you our art gallery. Well, not the whole gallery but the first photos I took. About the insecurities. That night after we got to my place. You fell asleep on the couch. I woke you up and I got this huge urge to kiss you and I got close to you and asked how close I need to be to see your flaws. You said a little bit closer. So yeah. Then” Sauli smiled, remembering the moment. It still makes his heart leap in a funny way.

Adam nodded with a soft smile. Sauli had to kiss Adam before he read his own card. It was a brief, affectionate kiss with no further intentions. 

“Okay, then. My favorite place to have sex in?”

“Anywhere as long as you’re with me” Adam grinned confidently and Sauli seemed pleased with his answer. Sauli would have said ‘bed’ because every other place is too damn uncomfortable no matter what they say but Adam’s answer was better.

Adam giggled and covered his face with the card after he had read it. It made Sauli chuckle and more curious about the upcoming question.

“What a question! This totally ruined the sexy moment!” Adam squeaked, re-reading the question like he made sure it really was that bad.

“Read it!” Sauli laughed and poked Adam on the ribs. Adam’s body twitched due to the contact and he got his laughter under control.

“What-” He tried but failed. He kept himself hidden behind the card a few seconds more and tried again, “What gives me wind?”

Sauli laughed against the crook of Adam’s neck.

“Oh, I know the answer! Greasy fast food.

“Good thing you became familiar with my tummy problems during my recovery" Adam pointed out with a faint flush on his cheeks.

Sauli chuckled lovingly and kissed the skin between Adam's brows. Speaking of being entirely comfortable with each other, Sauli had to learn it the harder way. It was never nice to see Adam in pain after every meal his body couldn't digest normally.

Sauli read his new card;

“When was the first time I said I love you?” 

“It was after the incident when you found out I was only 17. And we had a nice frottage session after that” Adam said and gave Sauli a small smile.

Sauli nodded. Funny how they remember things the way they are. Usually memories are different for each person even if they’ve been in the same place at the same time.

Well, maybe somewhere in the future they will fight over how they met and when they kissed for the first time.

Adam read the question of his card out loud;

“Do you remember the first time you touched me a) generally b) sexually c) soothingly?”

Sauli squinted his eyes and dug into his memories. He wonders how far they could ask the questions until neither of them could answer anymore.

“Uhm. a) I shook your hand when you applied for a job. b) Depends on what counts sexual. When we did that photoshoot at the beach, I brushed your belt buckle and said something like ‘I’d like to see all the places you have freckles’. I touched the back of your thigh in photoshoot Lee did with us. But,,, without anything work related involved… I touched your generous ass when we had a picnic"

Adam’s mouth hung open. He knows Sauli has a good memory but fuck, he didn't expect him to remember. Well, Adam remembered it all too but he never knew someone would care about the first time they touched his butt. 

"The first time I touched your bare dick is clear in my mind too. And finally, c)I think I hugged you the same night I almost drove over you. I hugged you twice that night, I think. It was the first time I saw you cry” Sauli quietly said and stroked Adam’s cheek with the outer sides of his fingers, “From that moment on I- I knew I could never let anythig hurt you"

Adam’s heart and head felt so soft he thought they will melt. His heart was fluttering in his chest and it took a longer moment before he was able to talk:

“Just so you know…” He started, looking deeply into Sauli’s eyes, “From that moment on I also knew I will keep you forever”

Sauli smiled, gently squeezing Adam’s face between his fingers when he kissed him.

“I haven’t changed my mind. Just so you know”

“Me neither” Adam smiled, “Just so you know” He imitated Sauli’s voice and kissed him again.

 

♥♥♥

 

The months apart wasn't the easiest thing to do. Actually, it was the hardest thing to do so far. And they went by so slowly. Painfully slowly.

But Sauli never forgets the moment when Adam sent him a text message that his plane has landed to Finland and they'll see each other soon. They’d get to spend a few summer days together in Sauli’s homeland. Sauli's sister picked him up from the airport and brought him to the villa where Sauli held the Summer Starting party.

Nea was talking to Sauli when Adam arrived at the villa. Her face didn't give a smallest hint of what she saw behind Sauli's back when she looked over his shoulder.

"Then I told him I missed him. And that I love him"

"I hope you're talking about me" Adam interfered and hugged him from behind, "Because I certainly missed you too. And I also love you"

Sauli's face lit up and he immediately wiggled out of the hold to turn around and make sure it was Adam who was talking out loud.

It took a second to understand it was really him. When he did, he didn't hesitate to jump in Adam's arms. He wrapped his legs around his hips and arms around his neck.

Adam laughed, his other arm automatically going around the clingy body to keep it from falling.

Sauli drowned Adam's ear in kisses before he wiggled down and was immediately pulled Adam's head down for an eager kiss.

"I'll see you guys later" Nea smiled and left them enjoy their reunion. Not like they heard her anyway.

Sauli hummed into the kiss a bit before he pulled away and cupped Adam's face.

"Look at you. You've added more bleach to your hair ends" Sauli smiled, brushing the light brown hair with his fingers, "Looks nice"

"Thanks" Adam smiled, "You look the same"

Sauli cracked up, letting go of Adam's face and put his hands on his chest.

"Hope it's only a good thing"

"For sure" Adam smirked and pulled Sauli fully against his chest. Sauli couldn't help the pleasant hum.

"You're so warm. And cuddly. And in case you didn't know yet, we're having sex tonight"

"Oh" Adam chuckled, "Well I wouldn't have guessed that, honestly"

Sauli grinned, inhaling the soothing and familiar scent. Adam hasn't changed his cologne and if that scent isn't the best thing in the world...

"But right now, these people are having fun. Join them. Because you didn't get to know half of my friends during Christmas" Sauli smiled and pulled away from the comfortable body he so badly wanted to cuddle and snuggle right now.

"I'd rather be with you" Adam pouted.

"I know. And you don't know how badly I want you to fuck my brains out right now but that would be rude towards my friends so. Do this for me" Sauli beamed and pecked Adam briefly on the lips, "We won't run out of time. These people leave in the night"

"Okay" Adam smiled, "I try to get to know them without being too awkward"

"I know you can do that" Sauli soothed, "I'll see you later"

“Okay” Adam smiled and as soon as Sauli left, he tried to eye for someone he would know.

Nea caught his eye.

“Hey you” She smiled and gave Adam a hug when he approached her.

“Hi” Adam smiled and hugged her back. She hasn’t changed that much either. She still has the bright beautiful smile but this time her blonde hair was down.

“Let’s go get some drinks” She grinned when they pulled away and took Adam’s hand, guiding him through the crowd to the bar outside. When they got their drinks, they made their way to the pier and chatted with Sauli’s other friends. Adam couldn’t help but wonder how on Earth Sauli has so many friends. They’re not just some buddies but actually friends. Good friends.

Well, Sauli is lovable.

And Adam learnt also his friends are lovable. Especially Sara, Sauli’s freelancer model, and Nea. Katri was also such a doll.

But Nea had something that made Adam feel at ease. Maybe because he knew her already but she was good at talking. Just like Sauli.

Nea was moving her feet in the water and listened as Adam talked.

"So yeah. I couldn’t cope with all of that alone. Every time I felt like I could not eat because of the bloating afterwards, Sauli made me to" Adam said but frowned then, "Not like he really made made me do it. You get what I mean?" He asked, turning his head towards Nea.

She looked back at him and nodded.

"He knew what was the best for you"

"He always does" Adam chuckled, playing with the ring on his finger, "It just wasn't that easy"

Nea didn't say anything. She knew when to stay shut and just listen. Most of the Finns know it well.

"For years I wanted to be thin. And suddenly I ate a sandwich and boom, I looked like I was pregnant. The bloat wasn't only uncomfortable but something I hated to see. Painful in every meaning. It just made me want to crawl under blankets and stay there forever"

“I know that feeling” Nea smiled.

“You do?” Adam frowned.

“Well, not like that. But that crawl under the blankets thing in general. I’m a girl” She said and Adam went like ‘ohh’, not wanting to hear more of it unless he really had to.

"But you know sometimes it's better to choose the pain and go through it with gritted teeth than do something that's wrong or just the easiest road. I mean of course you should always get help if necessary but,,, You know" Nea pondered.

Adam nodded, looking at the sunset.

"I know"

Nea glanced at the sun and started grinning.

"You know,,, Whining in general is just so depressing. I know when you have a depression or anxiety it's hard to change the mindset, impossible even, but some nonsense whining about a little bump on the road is not going to make it any better" Nea said slumping against Adam. Adam collected himself and replied;

"I agree. I just don't like to complain about anything it's... It sounds so stupid. Especially from my own mouth. But it just feels like… You go through all the possible bad stuff and then someone dares to whine they lost their fake nails like it's the end of the world"

"Yeah! Sometimes you'd like to grab someone by the collar and shout at them and tell them to stop and shut the fuck up. Even though it's not right to think that way... But when you always lock up what you feel inside of yourself, you quickly become the person who wonders why others complain when you stay shut when you hurt. Even though..."

"… Even though it's your own fault that you never share what you feel" Adam finished for her and watched her nod, "It's not their fault. It just makes me wonder how it can be so bad to them when you can endure it too… while you know you’re weak. You’d like to be more open but you can’t. It feels embarrassing. You always bite it back. Always" 

Nea nodded again, her eyes gentle and soft which Adam found comforting. Sauli attracts the same kind of people around him like he is himself.

"How did you-"

"Because I feel the same way. My persona doesn't allow me to wail over something. It's..."

"Embarrassing" Nea finished in turn.

Adam nodded. Nea smiled lightly and sighed; She and Adam are so alike. Maybe not even just Adam but many people.

"Sauli broke my shelter after we’ve known each other a few weeks. I cried so hard I thought he’ll walk out the door or worse, tell me stop and take it. He didn’t” 

Nea looked at him with a sad frown, 

"What happened?"

“I'm a bulimic. I mean I was. And I have some creepy secrets from the past I'd like not to talk about but what's your excuse?" Adam asked carefully, not knowing if Nea even wants to tell him.

"Well, I'm a figure skater. You think I've managed without the pressure? I need to be thin and fit. I don't whine in the gym that I can't do more reps or neither do I stay home during my bad days and wallow in my own misery instead of trying to forget it. I go to the gym or to skate anyway and go through the rehearsals because I know I can. It's empowering"

Adam smiled. Or smirked. A little bit of both. Underneath her smiley face he found a total firecracker just like Sauli is.

"Wow, you're mean" He joked.

"Just honest. You and I go through things. Everybody does. But not all want to talk. There's nothing wrong in that. One time… I had this really bad abdominal pain, I don’t know what caused it, but I still wanted to skate so bad. I knew it was important not only to me but to Sauli too. But he told that my welfare goes above everything. I think I cried then. It was tough… And Sauli was so sweet to me even though I felt like I let him down" She said gently and hugged Adam's other arm, “I’ve learnt to express my feelings. But I like happy tears more than sad. They’re easier to shed”

Adam smiled and pressed his head against hers.

"I can imagine Sauli doing that. And yes, happy tears are easier” Adam said softly. “Next time, let's whine to each other so we don't have to feel pathetic"

Nea chuckled and nodded. That could work.

"Let's do just that. But Adam?"

“Yeah?”

“Even though you try to be the tough one... Don’t hurt yourself, okay?”

“I promise” Adam said.

They heard someone step on the pier and approach them.

"Nea, are you stealing my man here?" Sauli's voice asked and Adam felt a pair of hands on his shoulders.

"No. I'm complaining" She said to him and got up because she knew Sauli wanted to be with Adam now when most of the guests have left.

"You? Adam, what did you do to her?" Sauli asked, joking.

"Complained" Adam said.

"You too?" Sauli squeaked, sitting down next to Adam. Adam grinned and so did Nea.

"See you sometime, Adam" Nea said smiling and Adam nodded as response. Nea left and let her friends finally enjoy their time together alone.

Sauli looked at Adam lovingly and squeezed his hand.

"What was that?"

"The moment when two stubborn souls meet" Adam smiled, "Secrets" He teased then.

Sauli smiled and kissed Adam's shoulder.

"Okay. I won't ask more. She opened up?”

“I thought you said you won’t ask more” Adam reminded with a smile, “In a way she did. But I’m trustworthy”

“I know you are” Sauli whispered, placing his fingers beneath Adam’s chin and tilted his head as he kissed him. The small wet smooch carried over across the pier and it made Nea glance behind her.

She smiled when she saw the scene. Two silhouettes kissing, contrasted by the beautiful sunset.

 

♥♥♥

 

Adam panted against Sauli's face, sweat glistening on his forehead and neck.  
Sauli was slumped beneath him. Happy and utterly satisfied. Adam’s cock was still inside of him, slowly softening. 

"We didn't find a better place to have sex in than the pier" Adam said, out of breath.

He carefully pulled out of Sauli and rolled next to him on the wide towel they had spread underneath them to keep their bodies from the severe bodily harm.

"It's the lust" Sauli panted, looking at Adam's knees, "Oh baby, you've scraped your knees"

"A bit, yeah" Adam said like it was no big deal. A little pain here and there is nothing after three months of not being able to have sex with Sauli. Sauli reached out to soak his hand in the water of the lake and wiped his cum off his abdomen. He rinsed his hand, then did the same to Adam.

“Sex is so messy” Adam said with a playful disgust. 

“No shit, Sherlock” Sauli chuckled, “Especially between two men” He grinned and pecked Adam on the lips.

Adam nodded in agreement and smiled in the kiss.

“I did miss our sex” Sauli admitted casually, “And your wonderful cock”

Adam giggled and poked Sauli’s side with his index finger. Sauli chuckled and pushed his hand away from his sensitive side. 

“I missed our sex too. And your wonderful cock”

Sauli beamed and glued himself against Adam’s side, throwing his leg over his hips.

“You remember when we had phone sex?” He asked, his finger tracing circles around Adam’s nipple. Adam glared at him and it made Sauli’s face burst into a wider smile.

“Don’t. Honestly the first time we did that was so awkward” Adam said, shaking his head at the memory. Neither of them had tried it before so you can only imagine what it was like.

“I admit that. But the second time though…” Sauli murmured, turning his face towards the sensitive area beneath Adam’s armpit and nuzzled his skin.

He heard Adam hum.

“It was much better…”

“It was” Sauli agreed, “I came so hard”

“Stop it” Adam said warningly, his face suddenly feeling so hot. It added fuel to the fire.

“What?” Sauli grinned, “I had never, honestly never heard you talk like that”

“I was horny!” Adam defended in a high pitched voice, “I’ve only been able to have my own hand and think about you. So when I heard your voice on the other end of the phone moaning my name I just- Can you really blame me?”

“Maybe not” Sauli said, “You said such dirty things. My kinky bunny” He teased and leaned towards to kiss Adam’s neck. Adam rolled his eyes and hissed at him.

“You weren’t that pure and innocent from your mouth either” He reminded.

“Guilty” Sauli grinned. He could talk about their phone sex forever but maybe they should get inside or something. He reached behind himself and squealed in panic.

"And I have a wood thorn on my ass cheek!"

"What?" Adam asked with an amused chuckle, "Let me see"

Sauli turned on his stomach and he soon felt Adam's hands probe his ass.

"I'll pull it out. It's not very big" Adam said and Sauli felt a little pinch. Adam pulled the said stick out and threw it away. Sauli sat up then and leaned against Adam. He feels like a kitten, wanting to be close to Adam all the time and breathe his scent. He’d purr if he could.

Adam wiped the dried blood off his knees and rinsed his hands in the water. Oh damn, he has small scrapes all over his knees and inner palms. Oh well. It was worth it.

"How was your time in LA?" Sauli asked, snuggling closer to Adam's warmth.

"Fine. Very fine. We rehearsed the songs and stuff” Adam said with a small smile. Sauli could tell he was proud of the things he’s gotten done during the months, “And at the agency, nothing special. I think you know what’s going on in there"

Sauli hummed.

"Yeah. They've kept me on track. Swimming, eh?" He asked smiling and took Adam's hand into his.

"It's cold!" Adam squealed, pulling his hand out of his hold, "Even for my feet! So what about my dick?"

Sauli huffed and slid into the water alone instead. But his big blue eyes were glued to Adam in such a pleading way. How could Adam ever resist those eyes?

"Fiiine" Adam groaned, first dipping his toes into the water before he slid down completely.

Sauli seemed pleased.

And the water felt actually kind of warm. The surface was calm and colorful due to the sun that was still in the sky. Sauli told Adam it barely sets during the middle summer.

Adam wrapped his arms around Sauli’s waist and Sauli threw his arms around Adam’s neck and looked into his eyes which were sparkling in the dim of the sunset.

“It was so cloudy in Finland when I arrived. And has been all the time actually”

“Don’t try to tell me the pickup line ‘All the blue is in your eyes’ “Adam said, biting back his smile.

Sauli made a face.

“Okay. Because I tried to say exactly that. Well, then you have to go with this one; You must be a light switch because every time I see you, you turn me on”

“I am so glad you didn’t try to use pickup lines on me” Adam teased with a serious face and earned a gentle slap to his chest from his boyfriend.

“Yeah, me too” Sauli admitted.

They looked at each other for a minute or two in silence.

“You’re beautiful” Sauli sighed then, his hands moving to cup Adam’s face, “How’s that even possible?” Adam smiled that shy smile of his. He still can’t handle the compliments when Sauli looks at him so intensively.

Sauli pressed his palm on Adam’s chest, above his heart. He felt the steady heartbeat against his palm.

“It’s still beating. All thanks to you…” Adam whispered.

“Oh, don’t say that” Sauli whispered, squeezing the skin underneath his hand.

“It’s true” Adam quietly declared, his eyes dwelling up, ”Without you I’d be…”

Sauli pressed his finger on Adam’s lips before he could finish what he was about to say. He can’t even bear to hear those words from Adam. It's enough that he acknowledges it, he doesn't want to hear them. 

“Shh. You’re okay” He soothed, dropping his finger from Adam’s lips. He placed his both hands beneath Adam’s jaw as Adam pressed their foreheads together.

“Keep it safe when I feel weak" Adam said quietly, although it was more of a question than a command. Like he wasn't entirely sure if Sauli would.

“Always” Sauli tried to say steadily but his voice was trembling, “Because mine wouldn’t beat without yours”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU'RE WELCOME. See you sometime. Maybe.


	31. Epilogue (re-written)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now here you go again. DON'T MISUNDERSTOOD ME NOW. I'm sorry for the previous one, I should have been more accurate with it.

**Five years later...**

Sauli was looking out of the window and sighed. He stroked the cold surface of his silver ring that hugged his ring finger. 

"He was the man I lost my heart to"

Sauli's mother looked at her son's slumped shoulders and his reflection that she saw from the window. 

She hates to see her son suddenly so upset. 

"I should have been there for him... But I just couldn't see him. I'm such a coward..." Sauli quietly said and looked at the dark clouds in the sky. 

Virpi frowned sadly and briefly glanced at the framed photo on Sauli's book shelf. 

It was just a photo the youngsters of today call 'selfie'. But it was the most beautiful photo ever; Adam and Sauli were both smiling widely. 

"Your reaction is totally understandable. Anyone would have felt scared. But it's not like you can't call him. Or text him. You're still wearing his ring"

"Yeah, I am wearing his ring. But I don't know if he wants to talk to me anymore. I wouldn't want to if I was him. I did so badly to him..." Sauli said, turning around to face his mother, "He has all the rights to hate me. But I just can't help it that I still love him..."

"I know you do. You just recenly got engaged. Sauli dear, that means something. I can't believe you two act like kids with this thing. Call him or shout out loud that you're in love with Adam Lambert"

"I can't call him. I can't. Not after all I've done. Or _haven't_ done. I can't..."

♥♥♥ 

"I can't believe you two!" Leila squealed, gently slapping Adam's shoulder after he struggled his ring off his finger, "You act like 5 year old kids!"

"Ow, mooom!" Adam whined, rubbing his shoulder, "It's his fault. He didn't come when I needed him the most. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

Leila's face softened. 

"I thought I'll die... I wanted him to know that I love him and that I'm sorry for not being strong enough even though I promised him... But he didn't show up. He didn't care..." Adam sobbed, "I needed him so bad, mom... I was so scared..." 

Leila hugged her son and soothed him by whispering into his ear. 

"Has he ever given you a reason to doubt how he feels about you?"

"No..."

"That's right. He must be blaming himself right at this moment. Sooner or later one of you have to take contact"

"That's not me then. He better fucking call me because I won't. I need him to need me as much as I do him"

"You freaking stubborn brats" Leila sighed. Will she has to play the Amor now?


	32. In case you're interested, I did some beta work on this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some updates...

I saw someone fix their old fic and it reminded me that I did the same with this last spring or last year or whatever.   
I didn't change many things, I didn't want to start "fixing" something I did years ago. This fic makes me cringe SO badly but it was the first, massive fanfic I ever did, so. Gotta start somewhere.   
What I did do was fix maaaany typos and grammar, added some details and even some completely new scenes in some chapters.   
I did a lot of work with "fixing" the sex parts though. I was reading them through like WHAT the HELL was I thinking when I wrote this lmao.   
So yeah. I had fun. It's fun to see that to my mind, I have developed at least a little. Obviously I'm older too but you get the point. 

So if you want to re-read it or has never read it, have fun! I warn you though, it IS so cringy at some parts oh my god.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Feedback is appreciated ♥  
> Next chap will be up after few hours to get you guys really into it. Third part is up on Tuesday :)  
> Twitter: @CuckooTrooke


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